Continuing Education

by Gray Gardner

  With the wedding planned tentatively for the week after finals, the only thing Mait and Mary had left to do was attend classes, study, grade papers, field the still incoming and endless questions about her stitches from fellow students, and act totally indifferent towards one another in public.

  In private, though, they couldn’t keep their hands off one another. Mary would stay up and read in her bed half naked while Mait would try to formulate some kind of halfway-thorough PowerPoint presentation. But it always ended the same way: both of them crying out in pure ecstasy.

  After the unceasing phone calls and surprise visits at her front door actually stopped, Mait knew that his family had accepted that Mary was not only going to be a part of his life but theirs as well.

  Mary knew that the other students had finally accepted that she’d actually fallen in a drunken stupor during the Rites of Spring Pub crawl, a perfectly plausible explanation for a trip to the ER, and left her alone.

  Things were on track.

  The first Saturday of May brought a few loops, however.

  * * *

  “It’s your parents.”

  “Well it’s four in the afternoon.” Mait grinned, his nap face still looking sleepily and appreciatively at Mary’s naked body in her bed. “Respectable people are up and about running errands and planning date night right now.”

  “Who said we were respectable?” Mary grinned back, running her fingers through his glorious thick hair. “And you know it’s your parents. Are we sure we don’t want them at the service? It’s just a few weeks away and—”

  “And they make you uncomfortable,” Mait interrupted, looking down at her as he stood next to her bed and pulled on jeans and a Vineyard Vines plaid shirt. “They won’t… they don’t want to celebrate us. And that’s what the day is supposed to be about.”

  “Well said.” Mary smiled, slipping into track pants and a tank top. She knew he wasn’t entirely sure about it. He was supporting her, though, and that was what marriage was supposed to be about. The wedding was inconsequential.

  Mait ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times as he skipped down the stairs and tried to prepare civil rebuffs to his family’s begging. Even Nicole had joined in, though she felt a little dubious about Liam’s role in tricking Mait and Mary. She, too, wanted peace; she just didn’t have to force it like Carlson did.

  Two things happened when Mait swung the large front door open. A group of rednecks began squealing on the front porch, flashing cameras and throwing confetti, and Mary gasped behind him with a very expressive and unladylike, “Mother fucking huevos.”

  “Happy birthday, Mary Mads!”

  “Birthday girl in the Ivy League House!”

  Mait could only step aside, a grin of pleasure after that of initial shock on his face as the older couple and two younger girls burst inside and tackled Mary to the floor of the foyer.

  Holy shit. It was her family. And her birthday.

  * * *

  That day the only person getting educated was Maitland Frasier. From the moment her parents dragged them out of the house and down the street to the local pub to the situation at the Chop House when he and Mr. Tucker had to borrow ill-fitting tweed jackets and mismatched ties in order to be seated, he was learning things. Good and juicy things.

  Mary had a silver Range Rover. She drove them all around in it after she pulled it out of her garage. Good taste, sure, but how could she not have even mentioned it after he had chauffeured her all over the place in his own?

  Mary was the older sibling of twins. Tara and Tory were only 13 months younger than Mary and evidently majored in stealing her spotlight. And minored in bitchery. Obnoxious or not, though, their existence still made Mary Madeline the ‘Carlson’ of her family.

  Mary’s parents were total rednecks… scratch that. New money, as Mait’s mother called it. Mary had definitely grown up with less means than he had, but had somehow come out with enough money for her family to fly up on their own G5.

  As a professor, a former doctoral candidate and an all-around student for life, Mait engaged in the dinner conversation but couldn’t help observing and making mental notes about Mary. Just like at his parents’ home when everyone was arguing, Mary sat quietly and ate her meal, tucked into herself as her sisters spoke loudly on their phones, took pictures of every dish brought before them, conveying everything onto social media with loud bells acknowledging every ‘like’. Her mother commented on every morsel of food Mary put into her mouth and added snide remarks about her appearance.

  “So, finals are coming up?” her dad, Mr. Rig Tucker asked, smiling over at his daughter and placing his hand on top of hers in a fatherly way.

  “And when they’re over you need to call Dr. Goode like I told you,” Mrs. Ruby Tucker interjected, nibbling on the edge of a leaf of spinach.

  “The family cosmetic surgeon.” Mary leaned over and fake-smiled at Mait.

  “I’m only saying you’ll feel better when you Botox those crows feet and add a little here and there to your cheekbones. Oh, for goodness sake, do not touch those potatoes,” she huffed, glaring over at the 12 oz. bone-in rib eye and mashed potatoes on Mary’s plate.

  “Fuck you, Blazer! Get that cunt-ass bitch out of your apartment!”

  Half of the restaurant looked over at Tara, as Mary leaned over her plate a little more and continued eating the potatoes. Her mom had always been thin and beautiful, but she’d constantly had to work at it a little bit harder. And she loved to eat.

  Her sisters, the skinny bitches, could eat whatever they wanted and still weigh in under a buck ten. Or maybe they were too busy screaming obscenities into their phones to eat.

  “So,” Mait began when the conversation lulled and people stopped staring. “13 months apart, huh? Kind of like, Irish triplets.”

  “My little miracles.” Ruby smiled proudly, brushing Tory’s fake blonde hair behind her ear. Mait noticed that while Mom and the twins had dark roots and fake platinum locks, Dad was the one with the strawberry blond hair and freckles.

  “It’s a miracle they can walk upright with those fake tits,” Mary whispered, leaning over and rolling her eyes at Mait. He laughed, though he detected a little hurt in her voice as her mother fussed over the twins for the fourth straight hour of their four hour and thirty minute visit to Eastland. Her life was becoming clearer and clearer to him by the profanity-filled minute.

  “You never fucking do anything for me! Why can’t I stay here with you so I can check out Eastland?”

  “You just want to check out the rich college town guys,” Mary muttered, shaking her head as she yanked a roll back that her mom tried to snatch off her plate. She slathered it in butter. “Besides, what about… Blazer, or whatever?”

  “That’s my boyfriend,” Tara huffed, snapping her fingers at the waiter and pointing to her empty wine glass. “So natch that you can’t even tell us apart.”

  “Why are you so selfish?” Tory cried, dropping her head into her hands as Ruby rubbed her back and made sympathetic sounds. “It’s like you’re the only one who can go to school and we can’t share that with you.”

  “You can’t go to grad school,” Mary mumbled, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “You didn’t even finish college.”

  “Why is she so mean?” Tory asked their mother, crying harder.

  Mait watched with interest as Rig sent emails on his phone, holding it at arms’ length with his reading glasses perched on the edge of his nose. It was obviously business related, because, during the interspersed calls that he made, he mentioned buying and selling. Tara and Ruby tried to console an obviously falsely distressed Tory, making a huge fuss over her with false reassurances about her intellect and beauty. Mary cut another bite off of her steak and ate silently and contently. He couldn’t wait to get to the bottom of everything.

  And he aimed to. That night.

  The gratuitous cake slice came out with a sparkling thin candle and Mait noticed that everyone in her family loo
ked affectionately at her as she smiled shyly and blew out the flame. Like his family, there was a lot of love behind all of the arguing and adversity. He was relieved that his little Mary Madeline had at least had that.

  Dinner ended all too quickly for him and not fast enough for Mary, but the closing ceremonies for the Tucker family performance included parents and younger twin sisters seizing Mary’s townhouse in a guilt-ridden appeal about decent hotels and proximity and jet lag. Mary was all too happy to relinquish her living space if it meant getting a break from their scrutiny and coarse etiquette. They didn’t embarrass her really, but they made her uncomfortable, like she was an outsider.

  “So,” Mary began, clearing her throat in the dark, quiet interior of Mait’s Range Rover. “My family, ladies and gentlemen.”

  “Your birthday, Mary Madeline,” he replied, glaring at the lights on the road ahead of them. He didn’t say anything else, hoping that she felt how much it had hurt that she hadn’t revealed something so personal about herself.

  “You’re not mad, are you?” she huffed indignantly.

  “Oh, I don’t know, sweetheart. Don’t you think at some point during the day you could have thrown in a helpful hint that you were born today 30 years ago?”

  “You are mad,” she said, a little stunned. Birthdays weren’t really her thing and she honestly didn’t want to do any mandatory birthday clichés with Mait. She wanted it all to be real.

  “Damn right,” he muttered, pulling into his parking garage and throwing the car into park. “And another thing, cupcake, why hasn’t the fact that we have carbon copies of the same car ever come up in casual conversation? You walk everywhere. I was under the impression that you didn’t own a car.”

  Mary slammed her door and walked towards the elevators, her heels echoing in the half-empty parking lot.

  “You’re mad about that?” she asked, squinting up at him in the fluorescent lights. The elevator dinged and she stomped inside. “Well, I do apologize, Dr. Frasier, for not acknowledging the fact that we’re car-twinkies.”

  “And the twins?” he asked through gritted teeth as they ascended. She was acting almost as offended as he felt. “Most people are so fascinated that I’m a twin. They generally prattle on about all of the twins they know. But you? You have twin little sisters and… nothing.”

  “Do they really warrant a mention in casual conversation?” she smirked, walking out of the elevator doors. She suddenly stopped when his hand wrapped around her arm and whipped her around to face him. She leaned back against the front door as he stared seriously down at her.

  “You tell me now, Mary Madeline. The whole truth. Is that what all of this is to you? Is that what I am to you? Casual?”

  “What are you talking about?” she huffed, avoiding the question as his close presence sent her heart rate into its usual frenzy. She licked her lips and watched him suck in an audible breath, his eyes narrowing.

  “That’s not an answer,” he growled, shoving his key into the lock and ushering her inside. He watched as she peeled off her black cashmere sweater and paced in her violet silk cocktail dress. She looked nervous.

  “It’s not that,” she answered, holding her hands together and biting a finger as she struggled to find the right words. “I just… I thought we’d have time later, you know, to get to really know one another.”

  Mait paused at that statement and turned from the coat rack to face her small figure. “What gave you that idea? We’re supposed to be getting married next month. Don’t you think we should try and learn as much as we can about each other?”

  “Why, so we can call it off if we discover something we don’t like?” she asked, looking up at him with flushed cheeks and angry eyes.

  Abandonment. Of course. She was concerned about him uncovering unsavory information about her, deciding that he simply couldn’t have it… and leaving.

  “All right,” he sighed, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt and rolling up his sleeves. “Now is as good a time as any to discuss a few things and ascertain a few… guidelines for our future relationship.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, frowning and taking a step back. If he had known about her family, about her stupid birthday, or that she was more like Carlson than she wanted to admit… She couldn’t even finish the thought. She figured it was best that he didn’t know. Too late now.

  “I think you know what I mean, little girl.”

  “I’m not a little girl,” she growled, backing towards the kitchen as he slowly advanced.

  “You’re my little girl,” he ascertained, his eyes not leaving hers for a second. “Forever. You remember that.”

  She let out a short squeal when he grabbed her up by her arms and pulled her over his shoulder. He felt her grabbing at the back of his shirt as he walked to the bedroom, but he was undeterred. He had a point to prove and she needed to understand.

  “I love you,” he declared, dropping her onto the bed and flipping her over. He smacked her ass over the thin fabric of her dress.

  “Mait!”

  “And I know I’ve left you before. Once because I was being a fucking idiot. And once because I thought your life would be better if we were separated.”

  Smack!

  “No!” she cried, grasping at his white duvet as he held her down into its feathery fluffiness.

  “But I am telling you now that I have always been truthful with you and I always will be. I expect the same. Understand?” he asked, smacking her twice more. “Understand?”

  She cried out as he pulled her dress up to her shoulders and spanked her over the tiny violet panties she had on to match. This was a point he was going to drive home.

  “You don’t understand!”

  Chapter 7

  Mait paused and brought the red palm of his hand down to his side.

  She quickly flipped over and scooted to the other side of the bed, cheeks flushed and hair in wisps over her face. “I’m not going to be your student forever.”

  “Mary…”

  “And I have this scar on my face now,” she choked, her eyes watering as she pointed to her upper lip and the nude bandages. “And your family hates me.”

  His heart constricted as she laid out her insecurities for him. He grabbed her and laid back against the headboard in one fell swoop, holding her close to him as she struggled to catch her breath and not cry in front of him.

  “I’m worried about what you’ll think of me, too,” he sighed, stroking her hair and trying to calm her down as he rested his cheek on her head. “When I’m on the wrong side of 40. When I’m scrutinized by the academic community after we get married and everyone knows about our relationship. When your dad gives me the stink eye because he knows I’ve been sticking it to his baby girl…”

  She snorted a little giggle and leaned back so that she could look him in the eye. “So… so it’s not just me?” she asked, blue eyes the color of hope.

  Grinning, he gently placed kisses on her forehead. “It’s you and me. Together. Forever.”

  * * *

  Mary straightened things out with her parents the next day. They weren’t upset that she hadn’t told them about Mait, or that Mait hadn’t expected their arrival. She even convinced her sisters that a stay over the summer session would certainly be more fun than sitting around while everyone studied for spring finals. She had a back-up plan if they decided to follow through… for once in their lives.

  They showered her with gifts of slutty clothing and a pair of diamond earrings, fixing meals in the kitchen and making the house smell like Tex-Mex. It made Mary feel a bit like she was at home and it gave Mait just a little more insight into what her life had been like before him. Not enough, though.

  “Can I ask you something?” Mait mumbled into her hair as they lay back to front on her couch on Sunday night, her family already on the plane back to Texas. A show about beautiful lawyers and their tragic lives played softly on the big screen. “What is your family into?”

 
; Mary spit out a laugh, saying, “You mean like crack or meth?”

  “No,” he responded, running his hand up her thigh and smacking her ass lightly. “I’m trying to find an appropriate and polite way to ask how your family came into money.”

  “Oh. That.” Mary chuckled, rolling her eyes. She knew this would come up. “Chance, really. I spent a lot of my childhood wearing old clothes from Goodwill and playing with old mutts that lived by the train tracks. We lived in a tiny two-bedroom house until my tenth birthday. My grandma, knowing she was about to die from lung cancer, gave me a thousand bucks to invest in the stock market. So I did.”

  Mait leaned up on an elbow and looked down at her. “Oh, come on, that can’t be it.”

  “Yeah,” she sighed, rolling onto her back and looking up at him. “It pretty much is. I chose to invest in my favorite store. A ten-year-old’s favorite store.”

  “Toys R Us?” Mait asked.

  “Wal-Mart,” Mary laughed, looking up at the ceiling. “I told my dad it had everything we ever wanted, all in one place, so he invested, too. A year after we invested Wal-Mart became the most profitable retailer in the US and is now the world’s 18th largest public corporation. I guess I don’t need to divulge the annual dividends and how many shares we own since you’ve met my ostentatious family.”

  Mait whistled with amazement. “And to think, our money came over on the Mayflower…”

  “Oh shut up!” she giggled, slapping him on the arm, though she wasn’t sure he was actually joking. She sucked in a breath and brought her hand up to rub the bright red scar now marring her face.

  “Don’t touch it,” Mait warned, holding her wrist and looking down at her as she frowned.

  “It itches!” she whined, yanking her arm.

  “You’ve got to leave it alone! I don’t know, but I think that touching it too much with make the scar worse.”

  Pouting with a pretty look on her face, she exhaled and looked up to meet his dark eyes. “Do… I mean, is this…”

  “Take a breath, sweetheart,” he advised, watching her eyes change to concern.