Christmas Wishes at the Chocolate Shop

by Jessica Redland

  18

  ‘It’s him,’ I whispered to Jodie as Ricky’s name flashed up on my phone later that morning. My heart was racing and my stomach was in knots.

  We both glanced over to where Ashleigh was filling a box with luxury chocolates for a customer. I’d decided it was unprofessional and unnecessary to involve her in my personal situation so I’d simply told her I was expecting an important call at some point that morning and would dip outside when it came through.

  ‘You know what to do,’ she whispered back.

  I turned down Ricky’s call request, removed my apron and grabbed my coat from the workshop.

  ‘Wish me luck,’ I said, as I pushed open the external door.

  Jodie crossed her fingers on both hands and held them up. ‘Luck. Be strong.’

  The earlier frost had melted away but it was still chilly and my breath hung in the air as I headed down the cobbles towards Castle Park, texting Ricky as I walked:

  ✉︎ To Ricky

  WhatsApp me

  * * *

  ✉︎ From Ricky

  WTF! Why?

  * * *

  ✉︎ To Ricky

  Just do it!

  Moments later, I perched on the edge of a damp wooden bench overlooking the sea and connected to WhatsApp. Even though I didn’t want to see him in person ever again, I wanted the satisfaction of seeing his face when I told him where to go.

  ‘Ricky,’ I said in a flat voice as I flashed him a sarcastic smile. ‘I wondered when I’d hear from you.’

  His face was red and I could feel the fury emanating from the scrunch of his forehead and eyes. ‘Why’ve you dumped all my stuff at my mum’s? What the hell’s going on?’

  ‘I could ask you the same question.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You heard me. What the hell’s going on, Ricky?’ I have no idea how I managed to sound so cool and collected when I felt anything but that.

  ‘I don’t have time to play games. I’m at work. Seriously, Charlee, why’s my stuff at my mum’s?’

  ‘Why do you think?’

  ‘I haven’t a bloody clue.’

  ‘Really? Have you had any good takeaways lately?’

  There was a pause and a flicker of something across his face. Guilt?

  ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’ Ricky’s tone had gone from angry to hesitant. I could imagine his mind racing. He’d know what I was alluding to, but he wouldn’t be able to work out how I knew.

  ‘It’s got everything to do with it. One of your recent visits to a takeaway is the reason why your stuff’s at your mum’s and why I’ve had the lock at Coral Court changed.’

  ‘You’re not making any sense.’ But his face and the lack of conviction in his voice told me I was making perfect sense.

  ‘Seeing as it’s so close to Christmas, there’s a little gift in one of your bags,’ I added, smiling sweetly at him. Inspired by Jodie’s tale of what she’d written in cream across Karl’s chest, I’d put together one of my boxes of chocolate squares spelling out the word ‘WANKER’. And I’d used dark chocolate which Ricky detested so he couldn’t even eat it.

  I’d specifically chosen WhatsApp so I could stay connected and see his reaction to the video but I couldn’t bear to look at him for a moment longer. The I’ve no idea what you’re talking about routine was a disgrace and it made me wonder if anything he’d ever said to me had been the truth.

  ‘Goodbye, Ricky. Happy Christmas!’ I disconnected.

  He called back immediately, but I ignored it and switched the phone to silent then typed in:

  You wanted to know why. This is why. I don’t think I need to clarify further, do I? GOODBYE

  I added the Dice Pizza clip.

  Charlee’s Chocolates was busy when I returned. As soon as it cleared, I asked Ashleigh to make us all a drink and quickly filled Jodie in on the conversation while she was gone.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, giving me a hug.

  ‘Please stop apologising. It wasn’t your fault. This was all Ricky. Well, Ricky and that dirty little slapper, BJ.’

  ‘Yeah, but I showed you the video.’

  ‘Which you hadn’t watched through to the end so you had no idea it was Ricky.’

  ‘I can’t believe how calm you’re being about it all.’

  I shrugged. ‘I think I’m still in shock. It’ll probably catch up with me later.’

  ‘Do you want to stay with me again tonight?’

  ‘Thanks, but I’ll be fine. I could do with a long, hot bath and an early night.’

  ‘The offer’s there if you change your mind,’ she said, her eyes full of sympathy.

  We were busy for the rest of the day, which was exactly what I needed to take my mind off Ricky. I’d texted Smurf to say that I needed to talk to him about something to do with Ricky and could he meet me at Coral Court at six. I’d gone back and forth on whether I should be the one to tell Smurf or not but he had the right to know and I wasn’t convinced Ricky would be honest with him. Videos like that had a tendency to go viral and I wouldn’t want him to be blindsided like I’d been. I owed it to Smurf to warn him.

  I felt sick as I buzzed Smurf into the building that evening. My legs were actually shaking as I answered the flat door and led him into the lounge. Between customers, Jodie and I had role-played how to approach the conversation, but the big unknown was how Smurf would react. What if he was livid and he had a go at me?

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked once he’d sat down beside me on the sofa. ‘Your text was a bit cryptic and you don’t look so good.’

  I took a deep breath. Here goes… ‘I’ve ended it with Ricky.’

  ‘I know. He’s at ours now. Said you’d kicked him out although he wouldn’t say why.’

  ‘He’s been seeing someone behind my back.’

  ‘No! The little fu…’ Smurf shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, Charlee. He swore to me that he wasn’t doing the dirty on you.’

  My eyes widened. ‘You suspected?’

  ‘Remember when you had a leak at the shop and you phoned me? I felt awful. Ricky wasn’t at work that day. If he had been, he’d have been working with me. I confronted him about it and he swore that he wasn’t messing you about. He reckoned you’d misheard him about the overtime.’

  ‘I didn’t. Did Ricky ever work overtime on weekends?’

  Smurf grimaced. ‘Once or twice. He was offered it, but he couldn’t do it cos he was helping you get the shop set up.’

  Another lie. ‘He barely lifted a finger to help me.’

  ‘Seriously?’ Smurf ran his hand through his hair. ‘He does work with you now on a Saturday morning? No? So that’s when he’s been seeing her. What a tosser! Do you know who she is?’

  My cheeks burned. Awkward. ‘I’m really sorry, Smurf, but he’s been see—’

  ‘It’s BJ, isn’t it?’ he interrupted, his shocked tone suggesting he’d just had a lightbulb moment.

  I nodded slowly.

  ‘Shit!’ He hung his head.

  ‘I’m really sorry. I hate being the one to tell you, but I didn’t want you to see it online like I did.’

  Smurf’s head snapped up. ‘Online?’

  ‘There’s a video…’

  Smurf listened, mouth open, while I told him about the footage, shuddering as I pictured it. He insisted on watching it. I tried to talk him out of it, but he said that he had to see for himself otherwise he’d manage to convince himself it wasn’t them. Closing his eyes at the end, he took a deep breath, opened them again, then handed me back my phone.

  ‘Can you forward that to me?’

  ‘I’ll do it now.’ I sent it over and listened for the beep as he received it.

  ‘Did Ricky tell you that BJ used to be his girlfriend?’

  My stomach sank. ‘He somehow omitted that little detail.’

  Smurf nodded. ‘They were together for about three years, on and off, when we were in our early twenties. They argued constantly so none of us were surpri
sed when they called it a day. Ricky always said that me and BJ were better suited. He was actually the one who pushed us together.’ He ran his hand across his stubble and shook his head. ‘Six years down the toilet. I was going to ask her to marry me at Christmas.’

  ‘No! Oh, Smurf, I’m sorry. Did I do the right thing telling you?’

  ‘Definitely. Cheers for doing it face to face, too. That took guts and it was decent of you.’

  ‘As I said, I didn’t want you to stumble across the video and discover the truth that way. What will you do?’

  ‘Kick her out and hope that Castle Jewellery will give me a refund on the engagement ring. What about you?’

  ‘I’ve changed the locks and dumped his stuff at his mum’s. He phoned me up demanding to know why so I sent him the video.’

  Smurf sank back into the cushions, pale-faced and looking defeated. ‘So he knows that you know about him and BJ, yet he’s brazening it out at my place, the cheeky git. I’d better get back and confront them. Jesus! I can’t believe they’re together right now, probably…’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t bear to think about it.’

  ‘Do they know you’re here?’

  ‘No. I told BJ I was working late, which I often do so she didn’t question it. She’s done this before, you know, although not quite so publicly. I stupidly forgave her, but not this time.’

  ‘Was that with Ricky?’ I asked, bracing myself against the answer.

  ‘No. Some bloke she knew from work. Big mistake, they were drunk, it meant nothing, she really loves me, blah, blah, blah. Now I’m thinking there were probably others and I’ve just been the stupid adoring boyfriend, paying all the rent and the bills, while she shagged her way round Whitsborough Bay, laughing at me for being such a pushover.’

  ‘I know how that feels,’ I muttered. ‘What he contributed would barely keep us in teabags and loo roll.’

  ‘You haven’t settled Ricky’s debts, have you?’

  I shook my head. ‘He kept dropping hints, but something stopped me.’

  ‘Good. I told him he was bang out of order when he said he reckoned he could get you to pay them off.’

  My stomach lurched. I’d hoped I’d been wrong about that but apparently not. ‘Was that all I was to him? A bank balance?’

  Smurf shrugged. ‘I honestly don’t know, Charlee. He didn’t… no, it doesn’t matter.’

  ‘You’ve started, so you’re going to have to finish. Anything you say can’t be worse than what’s in that video.’

  Smurf grimaced. ‘Okay. This is going to hurt, but you might as well know what he’s like. He didn’t talk about you much but, when he did, it was usually negative. He said you expected him to do loads of work in the shop but you never paid him for it, that you nagged him for going out with the lads, and that you were really high maintenance, constantly whining about moving to Whitsborough Bay away from your friends and family.’

  My fists clenched. How could he? ‘He’s a lying little git. I have no family, my best friend lives in the flat above the shop, I love living here, I encourage him to go out with the lads, and he’s done about three hours in the shop, very begrudgingly. And he was offered payment for that.’

  Silence settled on us. Eventually Smurf stood up. ‘I’d better go home and kick them out. Will you be okay?’

  ‘I need to lick my wounds for a bit but I’ll get there eventually.’

  ‘He was never good enough for you,’ Smurf said. ‘You’ll be better off without him.’

  I walked him to the door. ‘Can I ask you a question? I’ve got my own theory but I’d like your take on it. How long do you think it’s being going on?’

  ‘The truth?’

  I nodded.

  ‘I swear I hadn’t a clue, but now that I’m piecing it together, I reckon it was from the minute he moved back up here.’

  ‘While I was still in Hull?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘That’s what I thought. So why was he so keen to get me to move up here?’ Smurf looked down at his feet and I realised I’d just asked a really stupid question. ‘It was for my money, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Sorry, Charlee.’

  ‘Wow! I am such an idiot,’ I muttered, furious with myself for being used like that.

  ‘You and me both.’

  I opened the door. ‘Good luck with the confrontation and whatever you do afterwards.’

  ‘Thanks. Same to you. I’d say happy Christmas, but under the circumstances…’ Smurf gave me a quick hug. ‘Look after yourself and give me a shout if you ever need anything. You’re a good lass, Charlee, and Ricky’s a twat. Don’t get upset about him cos he’s not worth it. Neither of them are. Learn from it and move on. I’m going to.’ He smiled ruefully and his eyes glazed with tears. ‘Well, I’m certainly going to try to.’

  The moment I closed the door, the tears started. I’d been fine until Smurf’s last few words, but the hurt in his eyes and the wobble in his voice tipped me over the edge.

  Curling up on the sofa, clinging onto a fluffy cushion, hot tears streamed down my cheeks and dribbled down my neck. Yes, we’d had some rough moments when I first set up the shop, but the past month or so had been really good. Our combined excitement about Christmas had made the world seem magical. We’d driven through to York one evening and had giggled as we’d clung onto each other, trying to keep our balance as we ice-skated at the Winter Wonderland. We’d cooked a romantic meal together and had slow-danced in the lounge in front of the Christmas tree. I thought that Ricky and I were building the sort of relationship my grandparents had enjoyed. I’d loved and trusted Ricky and I’d genuinely believed that he loved me too. Turns out that the only thing he’d loved about me was my inheritance.

  Last night, I’d wondered whether all that attention and intimacy had been as a result of his guilt, or perhaps to keep me off the scent but now it hit me what it had really been: Ricky’s final attempt to butter me up to pay off his debts, before he left me for BJ. As soon as that thought popped into my head, it wouldn’t go. He’d used me good and proper, hadn’t he?

  19

  Matt rang about thirty minutes after Smurf left to check how things had gone with Ricky and to make sure he hadn’t tried to get into the flat.

  ‘I don’t think I’ll hear from him again,’ I said. I hadn’t heard a peep out of Ricky since I sent the video. I don’t think he’d have dared to offer any excuses although he could have had the decency to say sorry. He probably wasn’t, though. His only regret would be that he was still saddled with debt up to the eyeballs although it probably amused him that he’d managed to live rent-free for a few months.

  ‘Good. But if he does turn up, even if it’s the early hours, call me.’

  ‘Thanks, Matt. You’ve been so helpful.’

  A couple of hours later, Smurf rang. ‘I just wanted to thank you again for being honest with me earlier,’ he said.

  ‘How did it go?’

  ‘It was grim. I parked round the corner from our house and watched that video again, hoping there’d been a mistake and it was really another couple who looked like them because no way would they do that to me. I sent BJ a text saying I’d be back in half an hour, waited in the car for another five minutes then slipped into the house.’

  The crack in Smurf’s voice told me what he’d found. ‘You found them together?’ I prompted.

  ‘It was painful but I needed to see it with my own eyes.’ He sighed. ‘I ordered them to get dressed, hand over their keys and get out. She started crying and I thought for the briefest moment that she was upset it was over. Then do you know what she said? “Where am I supposed to live now?” As if that was my problem.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Then she had a hissy fit about wanting time to gather her clothes and make-up together but I wanted her out. Shoved her crap into binbags and left it in the yard. They’ve just collected it. She saw me watching from the bedroom window. You’d think I’d seen enough but she rammed her tongue down Ricky’s throa
t while giving me the finger.’

  My heart broke for Smurf as his voice cracked again. I’d known Ricky for less than a year but he’d just lost his partner of six years and his childhood best friend. It would impact on all his other friendships. Would the lads take sides? If so, I hoped they’d support Smurf and ostracise Ricky.

  ‘You said earlier that Ricky wasn’t good enough for me. BJ wasn’t good enough for you either.’

  ‘You know what’s weird? Right now, I’m more gutted about Ricky than her. I thought I knew him well.’

  ‘Me too. Seems we were both duped.’

  ‘One more thing,’ Smurf added. ‘I got BJ to admit how long it had been going on and she clearly took great delight in telling me. Do you want to know?’

  I drew in a deep breath knowing that, from the hard edge to his tone, I wasn’t going to like the answer. ‘Hit me with it.’

  There was a pause. ‘It never ended.’

  My stomach lurched. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean that before he moved to Hull, they’d still get together every so often. When he moved to Hull, they’d meet up halfway for… I don’t need to spell it out to you. I’m sorry, Charlee. They’ve been lying to us both the whole time.’

  Jodie’s great grandma had arranged for her large family – seventy-nine of them – to go on a Christmas cruise together, departing on Thursday evening. She’d offered to drop out to spend Christmas with me but I wouldn’t hear of it. Her great grandma had been planning it for years and, until things ended with Ricky, Jodie had been really excited about being part of such a huge family gathering. I did, however, feel very tearful as I hugged her goodbye on Thursday morning and gulped back the lump in my throat as I reassured her I’d be absolutely fine and it was only one day. I was dreading it but no way was I going to pull a guilt-trip on my best friend.

  Even before I’d found out about Ricky and BJ, I’d had mixed emotions about Christmas. On the one hand, I was excited about the shop and my first Christmas with Ricky, but there were occasions when I felt like I was caught in a riptide, dragging me into a cold and lonely place. Christmas without Nanna and Grandpa filled me with dread. I ached for my tiny family. Neither of my grandparents had siblings so it had always been just the three of us, then the two of us. And now it was only me.