First Time's a Charm

by Laura Greenwood

  Someone else goes next, growing a mane and roaring like a lion. I'll admit, it's impressive magic and easy to get caught up in the laughter. By the time Ryan grows a trunk and causes all kinds of mischief with it, I'm almost on board.

  "Your turn, Mona," one of the girls says.

  I gulp down my nerves. It doesn't feel like I should be doing this kind of thing with the way my magic is acting, but I also don't want to be the one who chickens out and doesn't join in.

  Daphne shakes her head at me, but I ignore her. My palm sweats as I close my hand around my wand and bring it out. I'm going to prove I can do magic once and for all. I point my wand towards my nose and think about a cat's face. I don't even like cats that much, but there's something fun about the way they twitch their noses and their whiskers move. It'll be fun for the rest of the group, and doesn't feel like it'd be too hard.

  I close my eyes and concentrate on the image I have. Please, please, work.

  A small jolt of magic travels from my hand to my wand and hope blooms within me. It's nowhere near what I used to experience when I did magic, but it's more than I've had in recent weeks.

  I open my eyes, expecting to see the others laughing at my new face. Except they're not. Each one of them is wearing expectant expressions, as if they're still waiting for me to do something.

  "It hasn't worked," Daphne whispers to me.

  I sigh. "I'm sorry everyone, maybe it's best to skip me."

  There are grumbles around the circle, but I ignore them. Learning how to do that has saved me a lot of heartache recently. They move on and continue playing the game, but I don't miss the sneaky glances they're sending my way.

  Ryan takes the attention away by transforming his face into that of a dog and licking the person next to him.

  A short giggle escapes me, and he turns his attention to me with a wink. A blush I don't intend flames to my cheeks. I don't want Ryan to affect me as much as he does.

  I sit back and watch everyone else, enjoying the way they're interacting with one another despite the fact I can't join in. After five more minutes, they seem to forget that I can't do what they can. At least that's something, it makes me feel like less of a freak.

  Daphne's face lights up as she smiles at me. I don't want to ruin this for her by telling her I'm not as comfortable as she is. She's my best friend and she's having fun for the first time in weeks, I'd be a terrible person for pointing that out.

  I just have to hope that this changes the way my classmates see me. Though I do doubt it. One day, I'll be okay with being an outsider. But I doubt it's going to be tomorrow.

  Chapter Three

  It isn't better. I can hear the whispers as I walk into the room and take my seat at the back of the class. I'm glad we don't have to stick with the same seats we chose at the start of the year, then I'd be at the front and really have everyone's attention on me. Certainly not what I want.

  I do wish Daphne had this class with me. Or even Ryan. Just someone that had a friendly face.

  "Hi," a male voice says.

  I twist my head, surprised to find the new guy sat next to me.

  "Hey," I squeak. How did I not know we're in the same class? If he hasn't already heard about my attempt at magic during his party, then he'll know soon enough that I can't do much magic.

  "We never got to properly introduce ourselves." He gives me a winning smile.

  "You know my name," I point out.

  "Yes, I do. Mona, wasn't it?"

  I nod. He knows as well as I do that he has my name right. "You probably don't want to be seen talking to me though," I add hastily. I won't have him ostracized for doing something as simple as talking to the wrong person.

  "Yes, you said that last night too, why is that?"

  "I...my magic works badly," I whisper.

  "I'm sure that's nothing that can't be solved with some extra tutoring, maybe I can help you?"

  I snort. Why would he do that? He doesn't know me, even in passing. And it's not like I come with many other benefits. There's no ancient family name behind me, or particularly popular friends either. "I don't even know your name."

  "Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners, I'm Caspian." He holds out his hand, and against my better judgement, I take it.

  His touch is strong and reassuring, but I don't let our hands linger together too long. That could mean disaster if the wrong person saw it.

  "Nice to meet you again," I murmur.

  "Likewise."

  Our conversation is cut short by the teacher rapping on the board, desperate to bring the unruly class to attention.

  "Good afternoon, everybody. If you'll just settle down, then we will begin with the lesson."

  I gulp down my nerves. No matter how he thought of me before, Caspian is about to learn the truth about how bad my magic actually is. And I don't think he's going to like it. No one does and there's nothing I can do about it unless I can somehow manage to fix what's wrong with me.

  "Today, we're going to be learning how to produce a feather with nothing more than a thought," she announces.

  Groans sound around the room. I'm not surprised, most of us have been able to do this kind of thing for years. Though I doubt I'll still be able to do it. I hope she doesn't expect me to try it.

  She taps the board again. "I know many of you will be able to perform such a simple spell, but I need to access your abilities. You will be conjuring them as I walk around the class. You may begin."

  I scowl. She thinks it's as simple as giving us instructions and saying go. Maybe she's new to teaching this year. That's the only way I can make sense of what's happening. Even I wouldn't be stupid enough to tell a room full of eighteen-year-olds that they should just start waving their wands around and do magic.

  "Aren't you going to try?" Caspian asks after a couple of minutes of me not doing anything.

  I shake my head. "It's not worth even attempting."

  "I'm sure it's not that bad," he counters.

  I raise my eyebrows, but ready my wand despite that. I focus on picturing a feather in front of me. Unsurprisingly, nothing happens. Though there is a slight zing in my hand, as if some magic is trying to make its way through my wand.

  Turning to Caspian, I shrug. "Trust me, it's not worth trying."

  "Miss Black, when you're ready," the teacher asks as she reaches my desk.

  Titters follow around the room, as they do every time the class is reminded of my existence.

  "I-I don't think this is a good idea," I murmur, straightening down my lab coat, grateful we even have them. It'll make whatever mess I make that little bit easier to deal with.

  "Rubbish, you've been learning as long as Miss Robinson and she managed to produce a feather beautifully." She indicates towards the perfect golden feather suspended in front of the even more perfect Miss Robinson. Blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs...she's everything most women want to be. Including intelligent.

  "Come on, Miss Black. I don't want to have to fail you..."

  I sigh. There really is no getting around this.

  "Feather light and pure as snow, to me let it show," I mutter the spell to myself, hating every moment of this. Technically, I don't need to say the words to make magic work, but given my predicament, it may help.

  To my surprise, something actually happens and a small puff of smoke fills the air. I cough, trying to clear my lungs of the acridness.

  Even before it clears, I know I've done something wrong from the giggles in the class.

  There, on the desk, is the cutest grey kitten I've ever seen. It wasn't there before, and yet here it is, looking as bewildered as I feel.

  "That's not what I asked for, Miss Black," the teacher observes, as if I’m not aware of that myself. "Let's try again."

  I sigh and think of a feather, knowing I'm not going to get away without at least trying again, though I can tell it's not going to work. This time, there's another zing of magic, but it's quickly followed by a puff of grey smoke billowing up into
my face. Ah. Oops.

  The teacher purses her lips as she looks me up and down. "I don't think that will do, Miss Black."

  "No, Miss." I glance down, trying to avoid the embarrassment.

  A small meow drew my attention to the kitten in front of me. Oh. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere, shouldn't it have disappeared by now?

  "You need to pull your act together if you're expecting to pass, Miss Black." There's more than a hint of disapproval in her voice, and, as much as I don't want to admit it, a big part of me hurts over it. I don't want to be a disappointment to anyone, and it feels as if I'm heading that way.

  "Thank you for the advice." The second the words leave my mouth, I regret them. They're far too harsh and I shouldn't talk to a teacher that way. We don't really have detention here, we're too old for that, but it happens sometimes. Daphne still hasn't stopped talking about her awkward forced detention with two guys though.

  "Make sure you take it. If you practice hard you might be able to scrape a pass." She turns up her nose and walks further into the class.

  Unbidden, tears spring into my eyes. Hastily, I wipe them away, hoping no one else can see them. The last thing I need is to be humiliated for crying as well as for failing badly at magic.

  "That's not a feather," Ivy Robinson sneers, coming over just so she can poke at the poor thing. "I bet you don't even know how you made it."

  "I think it's a him, not an it," Caspian says, picking up the kitten and turning it over.

  Purrs come from the creature. It clearly likes him, which is something at least. I've never had a cat and don't even know where to start with him. Assuming Caspian's right that's what he is.

  "What does it even matter? It's just proof that Mona can't do magic like the rest of us can."

  Her words sting, but only because they're true. I don't want to be this bad at magic.

  "It didn't used to be like this," I whisper, not knowing why I bothered.

  "You mean you used to be worse?" Ivy sneered. "Did you hear that, Camilla? She used to be even worse at magic." She sniggers as she looks at her best friend, yet another one of the perfect specimens we can only wish to be. The only comfort I have is that I know it takes them a lot of time, effort, and makeup to look that way.

  "That's not what she said," Caspian counters for me.

  Warmth floods through me. I don't know why he's being so protective of me, but I kind of like it, even if I know Ryan won't. Uh oh, here comes the guilt. Ryan isn't even my friend, never mind my boyfriend. A girl can have more than one crush at once. Right?

  "Ooh, she's got herself a boyfriend," Camilla taunts, though I can hear the hint of jealousy in her voice.

  I look around for the teacher, desperate for her to put a stop to this. She should do, we're still in class and have her lesson to pay attention to after all.

  She glances my way, even going as far as meeting my eyes, but then looks away.

  Great. No help from the staff then. She's going to act just like the mean girls because of my magic and there's nothing I can do about that. What a great feeling.

  "At least he knows she didn't use a love spell on him." Ivy's mouth twists into a cruel smile and I try to let it fly over me. She isn't worth my trouble.

  "I wouldn't do that anyway," I counter. "I don't need to trick someone into loving me." The words come out as more of a snap than I intend, but the amused smile on Caspian's face says I haven't gone too far.

  "Are you implying I need to?" she asks.

  "You're the one who said it." This confidence isn't like me. Or it is, but it's more like the me I used to be and not the me I've become since studying here. This place was supposed to better me, and yet the opposite seems to be happening.

  Ivy looks like she wants to slap me, but doesn't dare to.

  The teacher glares at us. "Are you causing trouble, Miss Black?"

  I shake my head.

  "I think you are."

  "I..."

  "Get out of my classroom, Miss Black, and don't come back until you're more prepared to learn."

  I swallow the lump in my throat. Did she seriously just say that? I don't want to be the girl sent out of class.

  "I mean it." She stares at me, the hostility seeping into every part of my being and eroding the confidence I gained from confronting Ivy.

  Without saying a word, I grab my bag and storm towards the door, letting it slam shut behind me. The moment the lock clicked, the floodgates within me open, and the first sob escapes me. I don't mean to, but getting thrown out of class like that is humiliating. And it's only made worse by the fact the teachers here are supposed to help me get better not demotivate me completely.

  I stumble down the corridor, glad that everyone's either in class, or off studying. No one's down here when they don't have to be. I turn a corner into a narrow alcove and sink down against the wall, letting the tears flow freely.

  "Mona?"

  I look up through my blurry eyes, only partly horrified to see Caspian standing there with a squirming kitten in his arms.

  "You forgot him," he says, holding the kitten out towards me.

  "Thanks?" I wipe my nose with my sleeve, aware that it probably looks awful, but not even caring. I'm beyond that.

  "Do you have the stuff to look after him?" Caspian asks softly as I take the kitten from him.

  It's fluffy. And soft. And it purrs when I touch it, as if it's happy to see me. Suddenly, my tears don't seem as important as they had moments before.

  "No," I answer Caspian's question, realising I've waited a little longer than I should have. "I've never had a cat before," I admit.

  "I grew up with one. I still miss her sometimes." He slides down the wall and sits next to me, before reaching over and petting the kitten.

  "I'm sorry you couldn't bring her."

  "That's okay, it seems like I'll have a cat I can visit now."

  I chuff in amusement. "After my display in there, you're still interested in talking to me?"

  "Maybe I just want you for your kitten."

  Even I'm surprised when a smile cracks over my lips. "Thank you."

  "For only being interested in your cat? Or for not making the obvious crude joke I could in this situation."

  I giggle, there's no denying that had crossed my mind too. "For being nice to me."

  "Aren't people usually?" He ruffles the kitten's head, receiving an extra loud purr for his efforts.

  "They're not mean. Not like Ivy was. But they normally talk about me behind their hands. They think I don't know. Or maybe they do. I'm not sure. But other than Daphne and her brother, no one really talks to me."

  "The pink haired girl?" he checks.

  I nod. "Yes."

  "Is it pink for a reason..."

  A snort escapes me. "It's to make her look like less of a nerd. Her words, not mine."

  "Does it work?"

  "You tell me. What was your first impression of her?" Inwardly, I curse myself. Why am I shifting his focus to my best friend? Here's an attractive guy being nice to me and I'm not even trying to take advantage of it. Maybe people are right and I really am a bit clueless.

  "That she has nothing on you." He reaches out, as if to move a stray strand of my hair away.

  "Mr Peters?" a voice interrupts sternly.

  I turn to tell the person to go away, only to stop in my tracks when I see the colour of the lanyard around his neck. Great. We've been caught by a staff member. Not that we're doing anything wrong, but it still complicates matters.

  "Shouldn't you be in class, Caspian?" he asks, a little less stern this time.

  "I was just helping Mo-Miss Black."

  The new man nods. "I'll take it from here. You should get back to lessons."

  Caspian grimaced, as if he wants to argue but not daring to. I can understand that. We might not be in school any more, but that doesn't mean teachers have lost their authority.

  "I'll see you later, Mona," he says instead, getting to his feet. The long lingering
look he gives me fills my heart with warmth. But I don't let myself dwell on it too much. That's just a fast way to end up heartbroken and I'd like to avoid that if at all possible.

  "Why don't you come to my office?" the other man says.

  I get to my feet, at a complete loss for what else to do. I can't really tell him no, even if I want to.

  "Follow me."

  I swallow loudly. I don't like the idea of having to do what someone else says, but at the same time, I don't feel like I'm in a position not to. I don't even have proper access to my magic to protect myself.

  The kitten squirms in my arms, seeming a little less at home with me than it had with Caspian. No, that he had. I can't forget he's a boy cat. My lack of magic is no doubt risking my place here as it is, I can't go getting into trouble too.

  Chapter Four

  "Tea?" the man asks. "Or would you prefer coffee?"

  "Tea, please," I answer, in a slight daze. I'm not sure what's going on right now. All I know is that I'm sat in a teacher's office with a restless kitten on my knee and apparently we're making chit chat about tea. Today took a weird turn.

  "Here you go." He puts a mug down on the table in front of me. "Would you like anything for him?" He nods towards the kitten.

  "I-I don't know," I answer honestly. "I made him by accident about half an hour ago."

  "Hmm, what to give to a magical kitten," he muses.

  "Exactly." A small laugh escapes from me as the kitten ventures forwards, using my knee as a way to get to the table.

  He jumps up, approaching my mug cautiously as if he doesn't know what to expect. Though I suppose he doesn't. He's not very old. He reaches a paw out to touch the mug, then jumps away from it, a shocked expression on his face.

  "Are you keeping him?" the man asks. I really should find out his name, but it feels kind of rude to ask, particularly when we're already in his office.

  "I suppose it's traditional in the stories for a witch to have a familiar," I respond. There is something very cute about the kitten, even if I've never had a cat before, or the desire to own one.