by Terri Lane
“You’re welcome, Violet.” My name sounded far too sexual on his lips, it was almost inappropriate. A light shiver ran up and down my spine which I barely managed to disguise. “I will see you at work tomorrow.”
Tomorrow…work, with him, with these feelings. It was going to be impossible. Even worse now. “Yes, of course, goodnight Dr. Turner.”
“Please, call me Aron,” he replied, with a sly smile playing on his lips. Our eyes locked, I could feel a mutual pounding between us, everything fizzled and buzzed, it was almost as if our hearts were beating at the same pace and velocity. Something was going on…
Then he turned away from me and flicked the engine to his car back on, shattering the moment on his terms.
And with that, I was in love.
Shit.
***
“Hi, Edna, how are you doing this evening?”
“Good, good.” She forced herself into a sitting position as she saw me, actually showing a bit of pain as she moved. I raced to her side and tried my best to help her, but as stubborn as she always was, she didn’t need much of it. “I feel really refreshed after our talk, but I don’t expect you to stay again, you know that, right?”
“No, I want to.” I surprised myself with how much I wanted to. I knew that I’d done my duty now, there was absolutely no need for me to visit with her, but I’d been growing more and more excited as the day went on, thinking about speaking to her again. “I just realized that I still don’t know how you met your husband.”
“It’s a tale I don’t tell much,” she admitted, averting her eyes. “I guess it’s silly now, considering we’re all long past that, but I can still feel a stigma, you know?”
Weirdly, I did know. There was a definite stigma with regards to my feelings for Aron, and it was that which held me back more than anything else.
“But he’s been gone a long time now, and I’m stuck in here.” I didn’t like the implication of that statement, it weighed heavily upon me. “So, it seems silly to continue not talking about it. He was a German prisoner of war, that was how I met him. He’d escaped one of those camps, and he was scared, you know? Living out on the streets.” A small smile played on her lips, and I couldn’t help wondering what was going on in her mind. “I knew he was the enemy, but to me he just seemed like a scared young lad, who’d been dragged into something he didn’t quite understand. I snuck him food, I took him water, we struck up a friendship.”
I leaned into the story, resting upon my elbows as I lost myself in the most romantic tale that I’d ever heard.
“Then my daddy found out, and all hell broke loose. The war had all but finished, but he couldn’t let it go. He went mad, he tried to lock me in my room and he wouldn’t let me out.”
“What happened?” I gasped, horrified. I knew that this story must have had a happy ending somewhere along the line, but right now I was consumed by the moment.
“I ran away. We ran away. It was hard, we scrimped, we saved, we worked lots of jobs for the people who would employ us and we made it.”
“That’s…wow.” I didn’t know what to say, that made my predicament seem absolutely ridiculous.
“We were happy, so that was enough, and eventually Hank’s accent fell away and people seemed to forget that we were anything but a couple in love.” She lightly touched her cheek, as if she was remembering him there. “It was hard, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. Life is too short to not be with the one that you love.”
I fell back in my chair and stared up at the ceiling for a moment, allowing all of this to wash over me. It wasn’t simple for Edna, in fact she’d been through hell and back, yet somehow through all of that it seemed that she’d managed to make it work.
Maybe love was enough.
“Hank loved me fiercely, right up until the day that he died, and even now I can feel him around me. It’s like I haven’t had to spend a single day without him.” Edna paused for a moment. “So, how about you? Do you have any great love stories to share? These chats can’t only be about me, can they?”
“No, no,” I stammered awkwardly. “No great love story from this end. I just…I work hard then I’m too tired for it.”
“Oh pish, that’s just an excuse. Maybe you haven’t found someone who gets your heart pounding yet, that’s all. When you find that person there’s always time.” I didn’t answer, I wasn’t sure how to. “You know who came in here asking me all about you this morning? That very sexy Dr. Turner.”
“Edna!” I blushed as she discussed him far more bluntly than I would ever dare to.
“What? He is! I’m just lucky enough to be at an age where I can say it without shame. He’s gorgeous, and I think he likes you a lot.”
“Oh no, he’s just…er, interested in my work,” I garbled idiotically.
“No, no, it’s more than that. And you like him, right?”
“Am I that obvious?” I couldn’t see any point in denying it to Edna, she was my friend now, and she could clearly see right through me anyway.
“No, it isn’t that, he’s just very gorgeous. Why wouldn’t you?”
“Well, because he’s my boss, and he taught some of my classes when I was still in school, because it’d be wrong.” My excuses sounded utterly pathetic compared to what Edna had been through, but that didn’t make my situation any less complex. “I don’t know, it’d just be wrong.”
Edna leaned in and I half expected her to yell at me, but she smirked instead. “Doesn’t that make it all the more exciting though?”
I laughed loudly, a little too loudly, which was probably a pathetic attempt to hide how true that was. “Yeah, maybe,” I giggled, while clutching onto her arm. “I dunno.”
Admittedly I felt freer just talking about it. Having someone else listen to my crush and to not judge me took some of the weight off of my shoulders.
“If you and that very handsome Dr. Turner like one another, then maybe you should just go for it. Yes, there will be hardship, it probably won’t be easy, but if it feels right then it probably is.”
But would it feel right, or would the reality be nothing like the fantasy that I’d concocted in my mind?
There was only one way to find out.
***
“Oh, Aron,” I groaned loudly, tossing my head back as his hands worked their way over my curves. My hands knotted up in his hair, my heart raced in my chest. “That feels incredible.”
“You’re so hot for me,” he murmured breathlessly against my skin, tickling me all over. “So wet.”
My naked skin was sticky, so Aron took a moment to lick all of that off me, which had the incredible pulse in my core screaming out for him loudly. I had never needed anyone as much as I did him, and I couldn’t wait to finally get what I’d been waiting for.
“I’ve been this way for a very long time.”
“Me too, I have always liked you, Violet.”
He drove into me hard and fast, as if he’d been waiting for this moment for ages too, and he rolled his hips into me, sending me flying backwards on the bed as my head spun, and my stomach bubbled and boiled. I felt like I was flying higher than air…
What the?
I bolted upright in bed, panting hard and desperately. The light dawn sun shrouded me, leaving me very confused as I patted the sweaty sheets besides me. There was no one there, which could only mean one thing. It was just another dream.
“Goddamn it,” I groaned, while slapping my palms to my forehead. It was getting increasingly frustrating, and worse with each passing second. “Goddamn it!”
The dreams were awful because I never got any kind of release from them, I simply acted out what I wanted to do and wound myself up further. I tied the coils up tighter, wound the storm up in my belly harder, and I got nothing from it.
If nothing happened soon, I was going to end up fucking insane.
***
“What is up with you?”
I turned to look at Nancy, instantly feeling bad when I saw
how pissed off she looked. “Huh? What?”
“I’ve been talking to you for about ten minutes about Carl, and you haven’t said anything. It’s almost like you don’t care, like you aren’t listening. What’s happening?”
I can’t stop thinking about Dr. Turner, and I’m driving myself mad.
“Oh, erm nothing, just tired I think.” I held up the coffee cup and smiled. “Hopefully this will help.”
“Yeah, I heard you’ve been staying late to talk to one of the patients. What is that all about? Do you know something that the rest of us don’t?” Her tone hardened, as if we were on different teams. “Only, it’s a bit weird, don’t you think?”
“I just like her!” I felt needlessly defensive. Why did I have to answer this question? Why did I have to justify something so innocent? “She’s nice, and she doesn’t have any visitors, that’s all.”
“Hmmm.” Nancy couldn’t look at me now which freaked me out.
“Why, what’s going on?”
“People just think that you’re getting preferential treatment, and they want to know why. Not me.” She held up her hands in a surrendering gesture. “I’m just passing on what I’ve heard.”
Marvelous, I was being gossiped about just for working hard. That was just what I needed.
“Me talking to Edna has nothing to do with anything. I do it on my own time, and no one even knows that I’ve been doing it.” Okay, so that wasn’t strictly true, but I didn’t feel like it was a good time to bring up Aron right now. “I don’t know what people have been saying, but I’ve been working hard, nothing more.”
“Miss Green.” I shut my eyes in dismay as I heard Dr. Turner’s voice ringing out from behind me. “Can I have a word with you please?”
When I flicked my eyes open once more I saw Nancy looking at me like I was the enemy now. It seemed that I was doomed to failure here. “Sure, Dr. Turner,” I answered, sounding resigned. “Whatever you want.”
As he walked, I followed him, and it didn’t take me long to notice that he had a smile playing on his lips. That confused me massively, I had no idea what was going on with him. In a weird way, I felt like I was being toyed with. I was wrong footed, and I didn’t know how to regain my balance.
“Is something wrong?” I eventually felt compelled to ask in a small voice. “Have I done something?”
“No, not at all. I just felt like you needed an escape.”
I stopped dead where I was, my blood boiling. He dragged me from an argument with my friend, making things a million times worse, and it was all for nothing.
“I don’t need rescuing,” I told him fiercely. “I’m quite capable of looking after myself.”
Aron turned to face me, and he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “I know, I didn’t mean anything by it…”
My anger was misplaced, it wasn’t really with him at all. I was mad at the hospital, at the staff talking behind my back, at the fact people assumed I was being handed things on a plate without even trying. It pissed me off that others’ jealousy meant they couldn’t even see that I was going far because I was good and I worked hard.
I was also terribly annoyed that I had all this pent up sexual frustration inside of me that wasn’t going anywhere, but I was trying my best not to think of that right about now.
“Just leave me alone,” I spat out in pure rage. “I don’t need anything from you, thank you very much.”
He stood there open mouthed as I spun on my heels and stalked off, my fists balling up by my sides. How dare he? How dare all of them! This fucking sucked, all I wanted to do was a good job. Why did it feel like everyone was taking that away from me?
Fuck this place, I needed to get my ass home.
***
I didn’t go home though. After a brief short temper cry in the bathroom, I held my head high and I went about my business just like I did every other day. I didn’t give any of the other staff members the time of day, only speaking to them when necessary about work, and I just about made it through.
I was shattered, emotionally and physically drained at the end of the day, but I still went to see Edna. Screw what the rest of them thought, she was my friend now and that was all I cared about.
“Are you okay?” she asked me, sounding far too concerned for my liking as I sat down in her chair. “You look tired today. Maybe you should just go home.”
“I’m too tired to talk,” I admitted. “But I would love to listen. Tell me some more stories about your life, I need to get out of mine for a few moments.”
She paused for a moment, pursing her lips at me, but soon launched into some more tales of her life and her own love story. It was nice to close my eyes and listen, to imagine that I was living it alongside her. It was all so wonderful and exciting. A lot of it must have been hard, but it was better to be there, than here.
Eventually, as I stood up to leave a couple of hours later, Edna asked me once more. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk?”
“I’ll tell you about it tomorrow,” I promised, knowing that I would only tell her half the story. I didn’t want Edna to be aware of our friendship causing me any trouble. “When I’m less exhausted.”
“Okay, well goodnight, sweet Violet, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I returned to the bathrooms once I left Edna, just wanting to compose myself before I went to get on the night bus home. I was spending less and less time at my apartment these days, and it was slowly getting to the point where the hospital was more of a home than my apartment was.
Just be strong, I told my reflection in the mirror. Keep going, you are better than this.
I took the band out of my long dark hair and I allowed it to fall loose. Then I stared into the ocean blue of my eyes seeing all the distress there. My pale skin looked stressed and sallow, and I wasn’t sure how to get it looking more like me.
Urgh, just go home, I thought as I turned away from the mirror. Get some sleep before it all starts over again.
“Oof.” The second I swung the door open, I bumped straight into a hard body because I was so distracted. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
My victim wrapped his hands tightly around my arms, fixing me in place. “No, it’s me that should be sorry. I never should have done that earlier, I just wasn’t thinking. I probably made things worse, didn’t I?”
I rolled my eyes and huffed loudly. “No, just forget it, Aron. It’s fine.” I couldn’t look at him, I couldn’t stand losing myself to him again. “I just…need to get home.”
He released me and stepped back, letting me go, but for some reason I wasn’t quite ready to move just yet, which seemed to free him to continue. “I just didn’t like to see you being ambushed, that’s all. I’ve heard what’s been said about you.” That was enough to have my eyes snapping up to his. “And I’ve told everyone it isn’t the case, but you know how gossip is. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, they’ll be on to someone else next week.”
“Right,” I murmured, having not been soothed one bit. “Sure.”
All of a sudden his hand was on my cheek, I could feel his calloused hand connecting with my skin and my heart stopped dead in my chest. Was this just a comforting gesture…or something else? Did I even want it to be something else?
I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and I became acutely aware of my chest rising and falling. The electrical buzzing swallowed me whole, I could feel my body starting to tremble. It seemed that we were on the verge of something here, of my fantasies becoming real, and I had no idea what to do.
“What is it about you, Violet Green?” he muttered, causing my heart to stop dead in my chest. “I really don’t know.”
Then his head was cocked and he was zoning in. I couldn’t breathe, I had a golf ball of emotion lodged in my throat, I tingled everywhere, I needed to grab him, to make this happen now, but at the same time I wanted to be suspended in this exact moment as well. The anticipation, the nearness, it was all too much…
Then his lips crashed against min
e, and the foundation that I was delicately balanced on flipped upside down. I wasn’t even sure if my feet were on the ground anymore, all I could feel was his soft, plump lips pressed up against mine, sending an intense heat spreading all over my body.
Oh my God.
All the times I’d imagined kissing Dr. Turner, it was never as incredible as this. I couldn’t even begin to picture a chemistry so strong, there was no way I could’ve known how wonderful his tongue would feel snaking between my lips.
My heart practically exploded, this felt so intense.
“Come into my office,” Aron pleaded with me, whispering against my lips before I’d even opened my eyes. “Come with me.”
I wasn’t naïve, I knew what he was asking of me, and I also knew that I couldn’t resist. After that incredible kiss I was putty in his hands, there for him to mold and play with. I wanted more, I needed more, and the heat that rushed all over my proved that.
“Yes,” I gasped as a reply. “Yes, I will.”
***
As we crashed through the door into his office, I felt wild and free. There was a giggle in the back of my throat that threatened to explode, just because of how insane I was being. This was truly me throwing caution to the wind, and it felt good.
Aron turned around and wrapped his arms around me, as soon as the door clicked closed he claimed me with his mouth again, like he was starving and I was a delicious meal that had been prepared just for him. I loved that sensation, it made me excited to know that he was just as desperate for me.
Fuck, he feels wonderful!
His fingers wrapped tightly around my hips and he pushed me back against his desk. I gasped as my butt slammed against the wood, the thrill of what was to come pulsing and hammering inside of me. I slipped up onto the desk so that Aron could press that thick, muscular body of his up against me. I could feel the steel rod of his cock pressing up against my core, and that made me hotter and more animalistic.
“Oh fuck, Aron,” I groaned as his mouth travelled down my neck. “Oh my God.”