by Lauren Wood
I giggled a little and I guess I could see what he was talking about. Would it be so believable if I was in his spot? I don’t know if I would be, but I really didn’t have much of an answer for him. My real reason wasn’t a good one and I didn’t want to upset him with it, hell I don’t know if I could say it out loud or not.
“It just seemed like the time to say yes to you. You are very persistent Mark.”
He smiled at me, but I could tell that he had more to ask. It was right on his face, but something must have told him to hold it in. I am glad he did but I was happier that I didn’t have to come clean or make something else up.
Mark opened the door for me and again told me he was looking forward to tonight. I was starting to look forward to it as well. I ignored the app on my phone that said I had a new request. I had a feeling I knew who it was. I wasn’t even going to look at the phone again.
***
I went to work and ignored the thoughts in my head. I stayed busy with another field trip for the girls. Craig was being friendly as well and for a moment I thought he was going to ask me out as well. He liked me, I know he did, but he had never let it go any further than a few looks. Something was going on and I swear it all started with Dennis. It was like he had awakened something inside of me and now every man around could tell that I was open for business.
When it was time to get off, I almost called Mark and canceled. I shouldn’t have told him yes, it wasn’t my intention, but merely a knee-jerk response to Dennis popping back up. Did I think if I was with someone else it would be easier?
I met Mark at the restaurant and he had dressed up in a button down and slacks. It was vastly different than when I saw him at the yoga place. “You look different Mark.”
“I just got back from work. Sorry I didn’t have time to change.”
“So what do you do for a living?”
I expected something in movies or finance. Every guy I met was in one of the two.
“I am in advertising.”
“Oh, well that sounds interesting.”
“It can be, but it is more tedious than anything else. I just got on with the biggest firm in Miami, but the boss is a real ball buster. I was there when his father still ran things, now everything is so different. I have only met Dennis once, but he was just so intense. I have never met anyone like him before.”
He was talking about him not like he was afraid or didn’t like him. Mark was talking about his boss like he was the best thing ever. But it was the name that threw me off. Of all of the names, of course his boss’ name would be Dennis.
“So where do you work?”
“Yearling and Sons. It’s over by the beach. The place stresses me out to no end, but they have great views. That is why I got into yoga. I thought I was going to lose my mind over there if I didn’t find something to get my mind off of things. Need something to clear the mind at the end of the day with all of the pressure they heap on us to make the sale.” He paused and looked at me with concern. “Are you okay?”
I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs and there was nothing left in the room to refill them. I knew that I had heard the name, the one I dreaded to hear and I didn’t know what to say. Could this all really just big one big coincidence? Was this all some kind of sign?
“Yes, I am fine. The name just sounded familiar.”
“Who Dennis?”
I shook my head, but I couldn’t bring myself to say his name out loud. Was that the same Dennis Yearling? I could have bet that it was. That was the way this month was going for me. My old flame just kept popping up and I wasn’t sure what that meant. But I wasn’t going to let on with Mark. I didn’t want him to know anything more.
“Yes, but I am sure that it isn’t the same one that I went to school with. I bet that is a rather common name.”
Mark wasn’t sure, he had that look again like he didn’t know if I was being truthful or not. I was, I was just leaving a bit out. That didn’t seem too awfully bad.
“Enough about that, tell me about your day Mark.”
He did and it was boring. He had a bunch of meetings and his job was to write slogans and ad lines for different products. It was boring me to tears, but he was lighting up. Mark enjoyed his job and I enjoyed the good vibes that came off of him if nothing else.
“I am glad we went out Mark. I never would have guessed you were so funny.”
“That’s a good thing?”
“Yes, that is a very good thing.”
“Good enough to talk you into a night cap at my place?”
He wasn’t asking if I wanted a drink. It was pretty clear what he was asking and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. But I needed to be. There had to be a way to get this man out of my mind, even if I had to have a one night stand to achieve it. I was ready to do anything that it took.
Mark wasn’t my type, but that was the point. He was the opposite of Dennis is so many ways and I hoped that it would help me get over the constant need that I had felt since I heard from Dennis. I couldn’t have him, but I missed the way he touched me and I hoped that Mark was able to get my mid from the one I couldn’t have. If only for one night.
Chapter 6
Dennis
I got into work Monday in a bad mood. I don’t know what I was doing here early, but I was restless and needed to get my mind off of everything else. So here I was and again I regretted the decision to get an early start. The only saving grace was that Peggy wasn’t in yet. That meant that I had to get my own coffee and I made my way to the breakroom. I can’t say the last time I have been in here, but it looked smaller with several people crowding around the coffee machines.
“You should have seen her. She was gorgeous last night. I thought she was in hot in yoga pants, but this dress. I don’t know. It took me a year to nail her down, but it was worth it. God, Kendra was so worth it in the end.”
Mark was talking about some rendezvous he had the night before and it wasn’t anything that I hadn’t heard before. It was the name that caught me off guard and I moved to see what he was showing the others on his phone. I didn’t want to believe that he had my Kendra. Not after she had blown me off so perfectly, not giving me the chance to say anything. I looked at Mark and I just couldn’t see it.
“Oh, sorry Dennis. I didn’t see you in here.”
He covered his phone and then pushed a button to get the picture off of it. Mark looked like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and he was worried about what it was that I was going to do. I didn’t plan to do anything, but with all eyes on me, I couldn’t ask to see the picture or show much interest in it. I am the boss after all. I didn’t need the questions that would come with such interest. I didn’t want to believe it anyways.
“No problem, carry on. I am just here to get some coffee until Peggy comes in.”
“I can go down and get you some from the shop if you would like. The coffee here sucks.”
He stopped when he realized what he said, but I could tell from the smell of the coffee in the cup I was holding that it wasn’t going to be very good. I didn’t want to seem picky, so I told him that I was good. I thanked him and went back to my office, still thinking about Kendra. I don’t know if I was hearing things or just losing my mind, but it was like a conspiracy to drive me crazy.
I opened the app and still the request was pending. I was sick of seeing it like that. I was going to have to figure something out. I was going to have to make her see me again. If she was going out with guys like Mark, why wouldn’t she see me? She was single and so was I. It just made sense that we reconnect after all of this time.
Aggravated, I decided that I was going to have to take another route. I knew where she worked and against my better judgment, I decided that I was going to take a drive down there and see her for myself. I missed her and if I had to track her down, I was going to do what was necessary to see her, even if it meant me getting out on a limb to do it. That was usually a no-no in my
world.
I had Peggy hold all of my calls for lunch. If I was going to find Kendra, I didn’t need business getting in my way. It is becoming clear to me what matters and what doesn’t. Right now, business was going to take a back seat.
I got the address from the file I had started on her and I put it into my GPS. Usually I would have a driver take me, but I didn’t want anyone to witness what was going to happen next. I was nervous that she wouldn’t want to see me. I know that I would be crushed, but I still had to try. I blamed Bobby once more for putting her in my mind, but there was a giddiness that I felt and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I hadn’t felt like this in ten years and I wanted that feeling back.
The place was not at all what I had expected. I had a feeling that this was for girls and teens that got in trouble. The building was in a bad part of town and the outside looked to be a mess. I started to hope that I had my information wrong and that she didn’t really work here. How could she? I didn’t like the idea of it at all and I was worried that something would happen to her in a place like this. The Kendra I remembered was delicate and didn’t belong in a place that looked like this one did. Link didn’t seem to be good enough for her, not in my eyes.
I sent the request again, just to see if this time I would get lucky. I didn’t and I finally got out of the car to see if I could find her. I didn’t expect the locked door when I got there, but there was an intercom out front. I pushed the button with a slightly trembling finger and waited for the verdict. Why was I so nervous all of a sudden? I was rich and got anything that I ever wanted. No one told me no, except Kendra. She had told me no when I had asked her to move with me. It was selfish by any stretch of the imagination, even for me then, I see that now, but she told me no flat out. No one ever did that and the knowledge that it was a real possibility made it one hundred times worse.
What if she did that again and I was left standing here on this very stoop with my hat in my hands? I didn’t like the idea of it, not at all and I took a step back with the thought. I had lost her once and I didn’t want to think of doing it again. I was in the wrong back then, I could see it now, but how would she respond to me? I worried about that and it almost was enough worry to have me leave and never know the outcome. But I knew I would always wonder about it and I didn’t want to go through life. Once Bobby brought her up, this was a culmination of that. I had to know what was going on with her to set my mind at ease.
“Hello?”
“Hi, I am here to see Kendra?”
“What is this regarding?”
I panicked a little inside, not sure what to say. “I am an old friend and I heard that she was working here. I just wanted to catch up or leave a message if she is busy.”
It wasn’t like me to give up so easy or to take no for an answer. Everything that had to do with Kendra made me feel so unsure and made me act differently, even now, ten years later. What kind of spell did she have over me?
“Okay, hold on a minute.”
The man’s voice sounded strange and I looked up at the building, half-expecting to see someone looking down at me to see who I was. They didn’t ask, so I was curious what would happen next. What sort of place was that and if Kendra wasn’t standing there by the intercom, why did the man on the other side sound so funny?
“She is not available right now. Can I take a message?”
I groaned inwardly and told the man my name. He didn’t make another comment, so I walked away, looking up right before I got in the car. I could have sworn that I saw someone standing up there and I could have guessed that it was Kendra, but I wasn’t sure. I heard a ding on my phone, one that I knew quite well b now and I am ashamed to say that I was scared to open the app. I didn’t want another rejection from Kendra. I didn’t know if my pride could take it.
Driving back to the office, I felt a heavy cloud over me. It felt like I wasn’t able to think straight and I should have gone home. I didn’t have too many meetings today and none of them were in from out of state, so it could all be rescheduled if needed. I should have went home, but I went back to work, the only thing that kept my mind busy enough. It was what I had been doing for years and my one real coping mechanism. I had buried myself in work that I didn’t want, so I wouldn’t think about what I had lost or what was missing in my life. I tried to find it in between the legs of random women, but it did me no good. It was never what I wanted.
Peggy jumped me when I got to the office. She had a lot of messages for me to handle and I did, one by one until I was at the end of the stack. I had done everything I could to avoid the phone in my pocket that still chirped from time to time to tell me that I had a message to look at.
When I finally did open the app, I was surprised that my request had finally been granted. I felt like I had won the lottery or something of the sort. She had messaged me back, asking how I was. It was generic at best, but it was something.
Now to figure out what it was that I was going to say.
Chapter 7
Kendra
Dennis: ‘I am doing well. I heard that you were in Miami and I tried to look you up.’
Kendra: ‘I got the message. I was surprised to hear from you.’
Dennis: ‘I have sent many requests.’
Kendra: ‘I wasn’t sure what to say Dennis. It has been a long time and we didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms.’
Dennis: ‘No I suppose not. It has been a long time, but I still think about you. Do you still think about me from time to time?’
Kendra: ‘I do, but not as much anymore. I watched your career with football. You did well. Where did you go after college?’
Dennis: ‘Here to run father’s business. I took it over last year when he retired.’
Kendra: ‘Good to hear that you are doing so well.’
Dennis: ‘And you. You always said that you were going to help people.’
Kendra: ‘I try.’
Kendra: ‘It’s not like I thought it would be, but nothing ever is.’
I was thinking about Dennis when I said this. I couldn’t believe that he had come to my job, but I should have known that he wasn’t going to let it go. He kept sending those requests, over and over again. Some things never changed and it seemed that his need to get his way was still just as strong as when I had known him before.
Hiding in the bathroom, I was perched on the toilet seat, my heart racing, staring at my screen and waiting for an answer. I don’t know what had gotten into me, but it was clear that I was going to have to figure something out. If I hadn’t contacted him, he would just come back to my job and I would have to explain myself again to Craig. He didn’t like that a rich man was outside waiting for me and the look on his face was priceless. I didn’t want to see that again.
Dennis: ‘Things with us didn’t quite work out the way I thought they would. When we were together, I thought that this would never end.’
Kendra: ‘Yes, it went a lot differently than I thought it would as well. I thought that we really had something going.’
Dennis: ‘We did. You will always be the one that got away. I still think about all of those times summer nights that we spent together riding around in my car. Do you remember going up to the overlook and making love on my Mustang? I remember everything about you Kendra. I still remember what you taste like and how you would call out my name as you came. I miss that Kendra. I miss us.’
I stopped and my heart stopped as well. Someone was in the bathroom and it was time for me to go anyways. I didn’t want to think about the moments in his car. They were some of the best of my life and I could still remember how he made me feel, how he made my body explode. I knew even then that I would never find it again. Well I had been right because out of ten years, I still hadn’t met another man that could please me in the way that Dennis did.
I stared at the phone a while longer, even though there were others in the restroom with me. I had to pull myself together before I could speak to him more. He had my body
wet and in need with just a few words. Yeah, I remembered Dennis too well.
KENDRA : ‘Work calls, got to go.’
I moved out of the stall and smiled at the girls that had walked in. No one went to the bathroom alone, they were in a pack.
“I will see you guys outside for free time, right?”
Jessica nodded and Ashlea did the same. It was the time of day that we could all get out of the building and go for a walk to a park, get out and get some sunshine. It was just as important as everything else. I was feeling cooped up as well. I needed some time to think and some fresh air to make my brain work a little better.
***
The air didn’t help to clear my mind, but it did give me time to think about all of the what-ifs that I had circulating in there. What if this was meant to be? I had thought about him after several years of only a sideways glance, but now he was always on my mind again. Then he starts popping up online and at my job. This wasn’t going to go away until Dennis got what he came for. It was best that I found out what it was that he wanted.
Kendra: ‘So why are you looking me up now Dennis? I have lived in Miami for years.’
Dennis: ‘I didn’t know that. I would have thought you were married and living somewhere else. You never did like Florida too much. I just miss you Kendra, I miss us.’
Dennis: ‘I ran into Bobby. Do you remember Bobby Seagul? We got to talking about the old days and you were the first person that came to mind. I realized how long it had been since we talked and I wanted to see how you were doing.’
Dennis: ‘I am not going to lie. I started thinking about all of the good times and how we were together. I just miss you Kendra. I miss the way things used to be with us. Then I looked you up and couldn’t believe you were still single. I have been looking at your pictures for days. You haven’t changed a bit.’
Kendra: ‘I am doing well Dennis. Thanks for the concern.’
Dennis: ‘I want to see you. I want to be with you again. You can’t tell me that you don’t miss what we had, the way I made you feel. The way I made you scream my name as you came all over me.’