He sat down on his bed and took off his shoes.
What was it Pam had said about free agency on this planet? "We have to ask to get their help." What would be his requests, his asks?
He started with his desires and wrote them down.
"I would like to be a participant in helping others heal more profoundly and quickly.”
"I would like to be a participant in whatever is best for Gerri's quick and gentle healing.”
"I would like to heal myself more deeply."
Then he stopped to form his thoughts into a request.
"I ask that my requests be heard and accomplished.”
"I ask to be shown what I can do.”
"If it is best for Gerri to work with Pam, I declare that they are brought together."
Then Rory chuckled. I sounded very much like prayers. He thought of Pam's guide, Shadow, and wondered who he would trust as a consistent Spiritual support. His experience with spiritual matters had been growing up in a Christian church, and he felt comfortable with the Master Teacher, Jesus Christ. He thought of the values that he attributed to the Master Jesus. Holding that thought, Rory spoke, "The qualities of my Spiritual support team are love, wisdom, commitment, honesty, and nobility. They work with my requests under the directions of the Master Jesus and with integrity to His qualities. I leave these requests in their hands."
Did he do it right?
Well, he'd watch for the consequences.
CHAPTER 15
Building a Life
Pam lay in bed thinking. She had decided that the first step in building her new life was to get her high school equivalency diploma. She was apprehensive about studying after all these years but, excited at her new opportunities. The community volunteers at the Center provided the support, encouragement, and network she needed. She knew she could stay at there until she was able to sustain herself. Tomorrow, armed with suggestions from her friends at the Center, she would begin. She smiled, turned over and was soon fast asleep.
The next day, Pam walked the short distance to the city library. Many of the books she needed to get started were at the Center, but she felt drawn to go to the library. As she walked through the large doors, she looked around. Mothers were reading to their small children, and several older people were absorbed in searching the rows of books. Off in one corner, two individuals sat next to a window. A small bundle lay by the feet of one, and the other had a backpack tucked away between his legs. She knew that these two belonged to the homeless population and that all of their possessions were in the bag and bundle. She remembered spending time in libraries to find a break from life on the streets.
She gazed down at her list.
"Better get started," she thought.
Pam took her notebook and began walking toward the row of books. All three books she needed were on the shelves. Well, that wasn't too difficult, she thought, as she carried them around the last row.
Her attention was drawn to a table and chairs near a large window set off by itself. She smiled to herself. That would be the perfect study area, away from distractions.
As Pam approached the table, she noticed a young woman tucked behind a bookshelf sitting in a comfortable chair. The young woman seemed deep in thought; a book opened in her lap.
Gerri had also gone to the city library today. She was making substantial headway. Her professors had given her options to catch up on her missed classes and assignments. She didn't know if she could focus enough to do the work but had decided to take this first step. She sat in a big cozy chair off by herself in the corner of the library.
Right now, it was not going very well. Gerri had closed her eyes and leaned back. The feelings of despair seemed to be snowballing, carrying her away. She didn't have the strength to stop them. Her mind tumbled and rolled.
Pam laid her books down on the table, sat in the chair and quietly slid up to the table. She opened the first book and began to read. Something drew her attention back to the young woman. It was apparent to Pam, from the energy around her, that the woman was in pain.
Mentally Pam began to direct her Spiritual friends to clear the energy and to relieve the young woman's discomfort, what she had called a Spiritual healing the other night in her conversation with Dr. James.
Suddenly, Gerri felt a shift. It was like a beam of light shining bright and steady through a dense fog. Everywhere the beam touched, the density cleared and a sense of lightness remained.
Gerri looked up in surprise. Her eyes met Pam's gaze. They exchanged smiles, and the woman went back to her book.
"How strange," Gerri thought. "I feel so different. Puzzling."
She picked up her book to start again.
Several times during the next few hours, the apprehension started to pull her down into the density. Somehow, almost as soon as Gerri felt it, the heaviness lifted. Maybe she could handle these classes after all.
Pam smiled at the young woman as she got up to leave. Somehow she seemed familiar, but Pam wasn't sure why.
CHAPTER 16
Synergy
As she dressed for yet another morning of study, Pam thought of the young woman at the library. She had been there each time Pam had studied this week. They had smiled their recognition. Today, Pam decided to stretch. Her goal was to start a conversation and at least get to know the woman's name. She'd noticed that they seemed to gravitate to similar study areas. There was something very comfortable about this person.
She skipped up the steps to the library's glass front double doors and entered. The air conditioning felt so good. Inside she paused and looked around to see if the familiar face was there. Yes, over in the corner at a table. The woman was writing. She seemed intent.
Pam made her way to the table and sat down. Immediately she felt the troubled energy. She quieted herself; opened her book as if to read; and then called to her Spiritual friends to clear the density. She held that focus for several minutes until she had a sense of completion. And then, she looked up.
Their eyes meet; the azure blue and the dark brown.
"Hi," Pam said. "You seem to be here about as often as I am. Are you studying for classes, too?"
Gerri slowly smiled.
"Yes, I have some make-up work to do for college. This is a quiet place to do it. And you?"
"Oh, I'm getting ready to take the tests for my G.E.D. I was about three months short of graduating when I stopped. Now, I'm ready to move ahead."
"Good luck with that," Gerri responded and then went back to her book.
"Thanks." Pam began her study and waited for the next opening.
Three more times Pam noticed the energy begin to get heavy. She glanced up and again called for clearing.
When the woman looked up at the clock, Pam decided it was time to risk.
"I'm new here," Pam ventured, "And I've decided it's time for me to stop being such a loner. I was going to get soup and salad at the little deli down the street. Would you like to join me? I'd love to have the company."
Gerri thought quickly. She had been intrigued by their meetings and the safety she felt with this woman.
"Why sure. I hadn't thought about eating out. Let me call home and tell mom of my change, and then I'd love to join you."
"Great," Pam smiled. "By the way, my name is Pam."
"I'm Gerri. It's good to have a name to go with the face," she smiled. "Be right back." She gathered her books into her backpack and walked to the library's lobby to use her cell phone.
Pam had finished the chapter and gathered her things by the time Gerri returned.
"All set," said Gerri.
She lifted her backpack to her shoulder, and the two walked out into the summer sun.
"You know, I have appreciated your quieting effect," Gerri said. "This has been a tough time for me. I didn't know if I could do my make-up work. Somehow, you have made it easier. That may sound a bit crazy to you, but I mean it as a thank you."
"I do understand," Pam said. "I have gone through
some pretty intense times myself. Maybe what I do as I calm myself somehow affects others around me."
They chatted as they walked the short distance to the deli.
Once inside, they found a cozy booth near a window and laid their books out of the way. They walked to the front counter and surveyed the menu, each deep in thought; How much to say? How to interact with this new situation?
Pam ordered her soup and salad and carried her coffee back to the table. Gerri finally decided on the lunch special, walked back to the table and placed her number next to Pam's. She sat down and sipped her soda.
"You know it was scary for me to decide to invite you to have lunch," asked Pam, "but I'm really glad I did. It has been hard for me to trust people. That's something in my life that I am learning to do differently."
"Bingo, another thing we have in common besides favorite study nooks," laughed Gerri. "I have had my doubts about the human race for a long time. If you learn how to do it differently, let me know."
Until their food came, they talked about the madness that each had observed and then about small things. Pam asked questions about the town, and Gerri asked about Pam's plans. Through the meal, they chatted comfortably and yet avoided any probing conversations.
As they finished their lunch, Gerri asked where Pam was staying. Pam hesitated. "The Center. It's been a lifesaver, a real lifesaver!"
"You've got to be kidding! I have a friend who works there. Maybe you've met him, Dr. Rory James?"
The information sent chills through Pam's body. Rory's friend! Why, of course! She is the friend that he had mentioned. Now she knew why she had felt so strongly to study for her G.E.D. at the city library. It was to meet Gerri.
CHAPTER 17
I Am Ready
Pam sat on her bed. Her thoughts were of the day. Lately, her life had been full of good things. She was meeting people, hearing ideas and watching events come together as if some larger-than-life hand of benevolence was at play. People were moving into her life in perfect ways. Some would call the situations coincidences. Pam called them miracles!
Today had been that. Pam wanted to help Gerri. She closed her eyes and called to Shadow and her team of Spiritual friends, healers, and teachers.
"I see Gerri healed of this traumatic event in her life. She gives voice to her wonderful gifts in ways that enrich all of society. She is honored, respected and loved for being herself. I help in the most divine ways for her. Show me how!"
With that thought, Pam closed her eyes and gave way to peaceful sleep.
The next week, Pam and Gerri decided to go to a nearby park to study. As they walked, Pam said, "You know, something is quieting about being in nature. It takes me away from the rush of people. During the past few years, I haven't spent as much time just being quiet with trees and grass as I would have wanted."
Gerri began, "You may think it's rather strange, but I can see energy waves around the trees."
"I don't think it is strange," said Pam. She gravitated to a mammoth oak tree and leaned back against it. "I believe in energy. I think it's everywhere and through everything."
Gerri was surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I have come to believe that we live in a gigantic energy environment. Some frequencies are so fast that we cannot see them and some are so slow that they appear to be solid. I think that all that is here on the planet are physical forms that are from seeds or patterns in the unseen regions of that environment. Sometimes I have seen the colors of each vibration. During the last ten years, the energy in many situations felt heavy. Sometimes it even had an odor, and often it was a gray haze over things."
Gerri was amazed. She down on the grass at the roots of the tree. Gerri had thought that her views were so unusual that she would live her life alone in a world no one else saw. And here was Pam putting words too much of what she had experienced.
"What's the matter?" asked Pam afraid she had, in her excitement, said too much.
"I can't believe what I am hearing. I have seen or felt those things since I was very little, and no one believed me. My parents told me never to speak of them. You don't know how good it feels to hear you put words to it."
Gerri laughed from the relief.
They giggled and began to share what they had been unable to tell anyone else.
"Do you ever see…" one would begin.
"I once saw..." and always there was a nod of agreement and at times laughter or tears as long-held thoughts, perceptions, and emotions tumbled out. Inner walls burst and melted away.
The sun was moving behind a cloud, and the robins sang to one other as they extracted worms from the grass. Then Pam shared what had happened to her that Friday so many years ago. Her tears invited Gerri's tears, and quietly Gerri began telling about her rape. Pam could see the pain on Gerri's face and hear it in her voice. Of course, her rape was still a raw wound screaming to be heard and healed.
They held each other until the tears were gone.
"I am so angry and feel so powerless," sobbed Gerri. "What have you done to get past it?"
"I didn't do anything for a long time. I lived with it day and night. The rape by my stepfather and the lack of protection from my mother colored my life and my decisions until I screamed to die. I wouldn't recommend doing it that way.”
"When the pain had gotten so bad that I wanted to die, I was desperate. I screamed out for help. I guess being on the streets was fortunate in one way, it disconnected me from social systems. That was good and yet, not good. Who could I trust and where could I go? For some unknown reason, the voice of one I have come to call Shadow, began comforting, encouraging and guiding me. With that help I tried other ways of seeing and acting.” continued Pam. "It was like trying on an idea to see what helped. What came from those Spiritual friends in worlds beyond this one helped."
"I'd be interested in knowing more about that," responded Gerri as she got to her feet. "But, I think we had better call it a day for now. My mom will be wondering where I am. She's especially concerned about my welfare since it happened. Could we get together again and talk?"
"I understand," said Pam as she stood and lifted her books. She turned to Gerri. "And, yes, I'd love to help in any way possible."
"It has been wonderful to talk with you. I can't tell you what it means to me," Gerri said as she shouldered her backpack and they walked from the park.
As they parted, Gerri took a pencil from her pocket.
"Let me give you my phone number. Give me a call. I want to talk about how you have dealt with your pain."
Pam called Gerri the next morning.
"Hi. I thought it would be a good idea to exchange schedules. That way we can plan some time when we can talk again."
"That is a good idea. Actually, today is a free day for me. How is today for you?" Gerri responded.
"Great. What about the park again, at ten?"
"Sure, but let me pick you up."
"Okay. See you at ten." Pam hung up the phone.
When Gerri pulled up to the Center in her mom's car, Pam was waiting out front.
After Pam parked, she and Gerri began walking into the park. "I don't know exactly where to start. I haven't applied my processes to anyone else," Pam said. "I thought I would just start with whatever ideas come up in my mind."
"I brought my notebook also that I could keep track of what you say," Gerri said.
"This should be interesting," laughed Pam.
They found a quiet spot and Pam began sharing her story.
Gerri was fascinated. She wrote, asked questions and occasionally stopped Pam to think about what she had said.
Pam went over what she had already told Dr. James. Other information came back to her with Gerri's questions.
"I learned a lot that helped me to see life on this planet differently," Pam concluded. "It helped me to heal my pain and to take back my life. I'd like to put the information into a form that would help others."
"I'd like you to work with me," Ge
rri said. "After today my schedule gets pretty busy with my college projects, and I'd like to go over these notes I have taken. Maybe we can get together a few weeks down the road."
"Well," said Pam, "With my studies for the G.E.D. and your college commitments, both of our schedules are pretty full. When are you projects due?"
"Some have to be in by the middle of next month," answered Gerri.
"That will give me time to think through what helped me and ask how the same might help you. Let's just call in the angels to show us the way and plan to get together on the 15th of next month."
July 2nd, Gerri’s Notes:
As I listened to Pam's information, I had a greater understanding of the words spoken by the Master Jesus. I am beginning to see that when Christ said, "Your faith has made you whole," and "Ask, and ye shall receive," He was speaking the truth. My faith in divinity is pretty weak, and I have forgotten how to access any right or ability to be happy and complete.
I see the results of human's vision or faith centered in profits, lack, and pain rather than much of a connection to a soul essence of peace and health. I didn't know how to live differently, so I had isolated myself.
It seems that what Pam knows, the steps she was given to be happy and at peace, are what she is willing to share with me. She will be asking for help in applying what she has received. She says that work will be in a language that is understandable to my team of masters and healers.
"I am ready for this!" Gerri spoke into the night.
CHAPTER 18
Power in the Unseen
Pam began spending hours in the common area at the Center. She was usually alone; it was quiet and gave her space to think. Pam listened to the inner teachers, wrote, and called to mind what her Spiritual friends had done for her. She asked questions as to how to put the information into forms that would allow her to work with Gerri.
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