Hayden’s Haven

by Cohen, Julie K.

  “Just help her,” Hayden ground out the words. He couldn’t handle talking right now, not given the shape Mila was in. He and his wolf needed to guard, scent the air, listen for any other intruders, be useful for once in his fucked-up life.

  Damien had been wrong all those years ago when he had made Hayden his second. Hayden failed to instill any sense of confidence in the pack, and now he had failed as a protector. His uncle Logan had seen his weaknesses early in life; that’s why Logan had groomed Drake to be the pack’s alpha one day. Logan had seen no qualities of an alpha in Hayden. Who was Hayden when he couldn’t even protect the two women who were counting on him?

  “I cleaned her cuts. Not much else I can do,” Kate replied, her sweet voice sounding rather despondent as she adjusted the mylar blanket over Mila. The sound of the foil crinkling made Hayden’s wolf howl in protest. That sound carried through the woods. The others would hear it. They’d come. Try to steal Mila and Kate.

  Hayden stared at Mila lying prone on the ground. The bruises on her cheek and neck, the split lip, her bruised ribs, and the cuts around her wrist. . . No, he wasn’t going to move her or deny her the chance to get warm and rest so her wolf could heal her.

  Let the bastards come. He would not fail her again.

  “Her wolf will heal her, right?” Kate asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Then I’ll keep her warm.”

  “Do that.” Hell, now he was being short with Kate who didn’t deserve it. Mila didn’t deserve what had happened to her either.

  “You like her, don’t you?” Kate asked.

  “Hell of a question to ask when she’s lying there unconscious after what that asshole did to her.”

  “Just wondering.” Kate fell silent.

  Where was Kate’s usual resilience? The Kate he had come to know was headstrong and didn’t give up.

  “You’re worried about Callen and you’re trying to take your mind off of him by engaging me in idle chit chat when I have a job to do,” Hayden added as he moved away from the women.

  Kate didn’t reply. Hell, hell, hell! He really was fucking up everything lately. “Sorry, Kate. Talk about whatever you want to.”

  “No, you’re right. Focus on your job.”

  He shifted to his wolf and circled the women in ever-increasing circles. The silence in the woods, and especially from Mila, was chilling. He took in her scent, resisting the urge to howl at the other male’s scent mixed with her blood. She was still unconscious, and her wolf was slow to heal her. More damage had been done than he had realized.

  Hayden shifted and pulled his shirt and jeans on. “Any medicine in that bag of hers?”

  Kate was stroking Mila’s hair. He found himself jealous of Kate, wanting to touch Mila, to soothe her, even as she lay there unconscious. Hayden kept his hands to himself. He didn’t have the right to touch her, especially not after he had failed her.

  “Lots, but they all have long medical names. Nothing I recognize. Can’t chance giving her something without knowing what it is.” Kate stopped stroking Mila’s hair for a minute. “She’ll be all right, Hayden.”

  “I know.”

  “This isn’t your fault.”

  “Never said it was.”

  With a sigh, Kate slipped her hand in Mila’s, careful to avoid the bandage Kate had wrapped around Mila’s injured wrists. The bastard had tied the zip tie so tight the plastic had ripped into her flesh when Hayden had cut it off.

  “Callen’s fine,” Hayden said, trying to ease Kate’s worry.

  “You’re not worried about him?”

  “Of course not,” he lied. It was the least he could do at this point, give Kate a sense of security. They were worse off than they were earlier. They needed to move, away from the scent of the dead shifter, but no matter where they’d go, it wouldn’t be fast enough, not with Mila out cold and Kate barely able to walk on her own. Mila had been right. Kate wasn’t strong enough for this journey. Hayden had made them leave the safety of the bakery, safety being a relative term. With the glass front, nothing would have kept the enemy from pouring in and overwhelming them. The only smart thing he had done since they’d left is return the gun to Kate. She was a crack shot and at this point, he didn’t care if she shot him again. He deserved it.

  “You didn’t answer my question earlier,” Kate said, a smile tugging at her lips. “Do you like Mila?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “I mean like-like, Hayden, as in more than a casual friend.”

  “We’ve only just met.”

  “I’ve been watching how you look at her, how she looks at you.”

  “She’s gorgeous. Of course, I’m going to look at her.” There. That should get Kate off his back. Let her think Mila was just another ‘piece of tail’ to him as Callen had said a few days ago.

  “I wouldn’t mind her in my bed,” he added. Might as well lay it on thick. It wasn’t like Mila would ever have any interest in him. She didn’t like white wolves, and who could blame her after she had seen Drake in action. She still didn’t know he was Hayden’s brother. Knowing that little fact would send her running from Hayden even faster.

  “That doesn’t sound like you, Hayden. I mean, that’s rather crass.”

  He glanced back at Kate, who was watching the rise and fall of Mila’s chest. Yeah, his cousin didn’t like to see the bad in anyone, despite how much of it she had experienced in her life.

  Hell, she still saw good in Drake. It had been a long time since Hayden had seen any good in his brother. Kate had created a fantasy world for herself when it came to Drake’s role in her life. Maybe that stemmed from how she had been raised. Abused, unwanted, foster sister killed in front of her practically. Kate needed to believe in Hayden and Drake, to hold onto something of her birth family that she could claim as her own.

  In time, she would realize what a disappointment their family was, but she had Callen to turn to. If Callen returned.

  Hayden certainly wasn’t one she should associate with too closely, not if she intended to make a place for herself in Damien’s pack. The other shifters would hold it against her. When they looked at Hayden, they saw Drake and everything the alpha had done over the years.

  Hayden’s adoptive pack was full of some wonderful shifters who risked their lives for one another, shared what little they owned, and truly welcomed those they felt worthy. That was the hitch right there. A shifter had to be worthy of them. Hayden had entered with too many black marks against him, unlike Blade who they had accepted immediately.

  Damien had made Hayden his second soon after Hayden arrived, but that had only made matters worse. The pack didn’t trust him, and they resented him being Damien’s second. Kate, too, had had trouble being accepted. Mating Callen had granted her some immunity against their wrath. Ultimately, it was how she had fought for the pack, risked her life exposing the Wolf Shifter Suppressor Organization to the government, and uploaded a program that hid the pack’s location from the WSSO’s satellite that won them over. They’d welcome her back, even if Callen didn’t make it. Hell. . . Where was his enforcer?

  “Hey there, sleepyhead,” Kate said amidst a wash of foil crinkling.

  Hayden rushed over. Mila’s bright green eyes stared up at him, making it very hard to look away. He forced himself to do just that, though his eyes didn’t fully leave her. No, they had to move over her bruised cheeks, split lip, to the ring of bruises on her neck, down to her bandaged wrists. And he couldn’t see what damage lay hidden beneath her ripped blouse and torn jeans beyond the bruised or broken ribs he was sure she had. The shifter had been brutal, and somehow this brave woman managed a smile for him. God, she had spirit!

  “You heard me call you,” Mila said, her voice cracking as if she hadn’t spoken in days. Kate promptly held a bottle of water to her lips. Mila took a small sip, then pushed it away as she pulled herself up onto her elbows, her face twisting in pain, and her eyes locked on Hayden.

  “I’m sorry, Mila. I shou
ldn’t have left. I didn’t go far, but. . .” He stopped talking. It didn’t matter what he said, it wouldn’t change what had happened, or the fact that he had failed her.

  Her sweet face eased as her eyes grew wide. “You didn’t leave me unprotected, if that’s what you mean. I had the gun, and I know some self-defense. I, well. . . He caught me off-guard.”

  Nice words, nice sentiment, but she was wrong. It had been his job to protect, his responsibility. And they were far from safe. They still had several days before reaching northern Colorado. The closer they got to Damien’s territory, the greater the chance they’d cross the trail of one of Damien’s scouts out on recon work. He needed backup, to get Kate and Mila home safe.

  “Can you walk?” he asked.

  “My legs are sore where he kicked me, but I think I can walk.”

  Mila winced and she sucked in air as he slid his arm around her waist and slowly helped her stand. As he steadied her, with his arms still around her mid-section and her sweet scent filling his lungs, his wolf howled a song Hayden had never heard before.

  It startled him, and he unintentionally released his hold on her. That stopped the howl and opened Hayden to a bit of scratching from his wolf, the type that said his wolf wasn’t pleased with him for releasing her.

  When Mila started to waver, he caught her and scooped her off the ground. Her eyes flew open. She was stuck in his arms, and she knew it. Or maybe she simply didn’t want him touching her. Fierce green eyes glanced at his hand curled up under her knees and then the other on her side before seeking out his face.

  She simply stared into his eyes without saying a word. Damn, he wished she’d fight him on this like she had fought him about leaving the bakery. At least then he’d know she really was okay. This lack of fight from her worried him.

  Kate shouldered both packs and stood beside him. “Which way?”

  “Toward the interstate,” Hayden said, his eyes still on Mila as he answered.

  “Hitchhike?” Mila asked as she slipped her arms around his neck to balance herself.

  Damn, he liked having her in his arms, her hand around his neck. She almost felt as if she were his, a woman who would love him no matter what. This was dangerous, having her so close, her skin touching his, her scent filling his lungs, but she was too injured to walk.

  Kate sent an awkward look Hayden’s way.

  “Speak your mind already, Kate. I’m in no mood for games.”

  “I have no problem hitchhiking, though it can get dicey, Hayden. I’ll get picked up. Mila will too, even as beat up as she is, but no one’s going to even stop if you’re with us. We’re going to have to split up.”

  “I’m not leaving you. Either of you.”

  “Then forget hitchhiking. We’ll end up getting picked up by the cops long before anyone else will chance giving you a ride.”

  “Then we keep moving south, through the woods.” He started walking, all the while listening for Kate’s steps behind him. To a large extent, he was starting to think they’d be better off without him.

  * * *

  MILA

  Hayden had been carrying her for well over an hour, his scent wreaking havoc on her the entire time. More than once she found herself tempted to reach up and stroke the stubble along his jaw, or run a finger along those very masculine lips. She must have hit her head against that tree harder than she realized to be fantasizing about him, though admittedly it kept her from thinking about the attack. She started shaking when she thought of everything that had happened, what could have happened had Hayden not arrived when he had. Once she started shaking, she couldn’t stop. The temperature was in the teens, typical January weather. Shifters had a higher tolerance for cold compared to humans, but she wasn’t much of a shifter. She spread her bare hands against the back of Hayden’s neck, seeking his warmth. He startled from her touch.

  “You’re freezing.”

  “Sorry,” she said, moving her hands lower, onto his shirt.

  “It’s okay. You can warm up on me. It’s the least I can do.”

  That was an odd statement, but she wasn’t going to say anything. She was simply glad to be able to warm her hands. Touching Hayden had a soothing effect on her as well, like sitting down on a chair by the fireplace with a blanket and a good book.

  “Your wolf should be healing you faster,” he said. He sounded annoyed.

  “I’ll let her know you object to her speed,” Mila replied, only to be met by a growl from Hayden or his wolf. It was hard to tell them apart at this point, but it didn’t matter. She needed to keep her sarcasm in check, or he might decide she was too much trouble and leave her behind. She wasn’t usually that sarcastic except when she was scared, and she was scared. Not of Hayden, but of everything else. Leaving her pack, being chased by shifters they didn’t know, and going to another pack she knew nothing about, other than the fact that Kate trusted them.

  “I shouldn’t have said that,” Mila said. She was good at putting her foot in her mouth.

  “I’m the last one you need to apologize to. For anything,” Hayden said.

  She had yet to figure him out. He blew cold and colder with her. Granted, they hadn’t had a great start back in the bakery, but since then she had tried to be friendlier. Mastering the social graces had never been high on her list of priorities, though it was possible that had more to do with her mother always telling her to be less awkward, to flirt more, and talk less since attracting a strong shifter was of paramount importance.

  Studying and learning medicine had made her feel alive and worthy. She had discovered her love of helping others the day her friend Kaylee had broken her leg slipping on a slick stone as she crossed the river. Neither of them had had their first shift yet, and Kaylee was in so much pain. Mila had fashioned a rough splint for her, and they’d made it back to camp before dark. Mila had been so proud of how she had helped Kaylee, only to be berated by her mother for having ventured far from home without anyone to watch over her. As if Mila were helpless. Then again, her mother had recognized her weakness in her early on, before she shifted.

  “The shifter, the one who attacked me. . .”

  “He won’t hurt you again. I made sure of it,” Hayden said, his deep voice a caress upon her soul.

  Why did Hayden have to be a white wolf?

  Mila inhaled, unintentionally catching a lung-full of Hayden’s delicious scent, a drug that reminded her of spring and warmth, despite the fact that they were trudging through the forests of Wyoming in the dead of winter.

  “Did you hear me, Mila? He won’t hurt you again. You’re safe now.”

  “I heard,” she said. Believing it was another matter. Safe was a relative term. Here and now, wrapped up in Hayden’s arms, she was safe, but at some point he’d walk away, forget all about her, leaving her alone to combat the wave of memories that wouldn’t end until they sucked her into that black hole again and finally crushed her. The shifter today was dead; he couldn’t hurt her anymore, but Vance still could.

  She hadn’t fought so hard to climb out of that hole only to be plunged back in by some bastard in the woods. Why did all shifters have to be so brutal? Even Hayden. He carried her so gingerly, but he had crushed that shifter’s throat so easily, like that alpha Drake several years ago. White wolves. . . She needed to keep her distance from them.

  “Put me down and take the bags from Kate, please.”

  He glanced back to check on Kate. “She’s fine.”

  “So, you’re a doctor now?”

  “You’re injured.”

  “Bruises, maybe a concussion, but I can walk.”

  “You couldn’t even stand earlier.”

  “You’re an ass, Hayden.”

  “For carrying you?”

  “For questioning everything I say and do. If I get dizzy again, I’ll speak up. Until then. Let me down.”

  “Fine.” He practically dropped her, but she recovered quickly, smoothing out her blouse in the process. It still smelled of blood, b
ut it was Hayden’s vibrant scent that had been distracting her ever since she had woken.

  Kate caught up to her and looped her arms through hers. “You’re supposed to be my patient, Kate, not the other way around.”

  “We can hold each other up,” Kate said, smiling in a way that only Kate could. Beautiful and natural, even when the world around her looked so dark. Mila hadn’t missed the fact that Callen hadn’t caught up to them yet. The enforcer was long overdue. At least Kate’s color looked better. “Hayden can carry the bags for a while.”

  At Kate’s word, Hayden scooped up both bags, tossed them on his left shoulder and brushed by both women without a word.

  “What’s his problem?” Mila asked.

  “I’ve only recently met Hayden, so I don’t know him too well yet, but he’s always been respectful and easy-going. I think he blames himself for what happened to you.”

  “That’s ridiculous. He was patrolling. He’s only one shifter. Can’t do everything by himself.”

  “Family trait,” Kate said.

  Kate was grinning like a Cheshire cat for some reason, but Mila wasn’t going to push. Kate wasn’t one to spill info unless she had to. She’d been that way since she had reached out to Mila online. Those few questions Mila had asked of Kate about why she shouldn’t disclose Kate as her benefactor, had always been answered with silence. That’s when Mila had learned not to ask so many questions of Kate. That didn’t mean Mila couldn’t still ask questions. Occasionally, Kate did answer, and the woman was a wealth of information.

  “You know about Hayden’s family, but not him?”

  “Just his brother and cousin,” Kate said with a wave of her hand, and a smirk. Yes, there was a story there, but Kate wasn’t sharing. “Both loners for the most part. They’re used to doing for themselves. Leaning on others is hard for them.”

  “Well, the opposite, being forced to lean on others isn’t any better, I can tell you that.”

  That sobered Kate, stealing her grin.

  “I didn’t mean you!” Mila said. “Oh, Kate, I’m really sorry. I don’t always think before speaking. I was talking about someone else. I’m very grateful for all you’ve done for me.”