Hayden’s Haven

by Cohen, Julie K.

  Blood coated his mouth, the iron taste bringing back too many memories of home, of fighting to defend himself against shifters who decided he’d be good practice as they worked up the courage to challenge Logan or Drake. Those memories killed his wolf’s urge to howl his victory, especially since he had left his packmates behind, in the open and vulnerable.

  As Hayden turned, he caught the faintest hint of lilac in the air. There, hiding behind a Norway spruce, stood a wide-eyed Mila. How much she had seen, he couldn’t say, but it wasn’t something he had wanted for her. His wolf’s instinct to kill, to protect her and the others, was too engrained in him for the outcome to have been any different. He could only imagine what his muzzle and white fur looked like to her, stained red with his victims’ blood. Despite what Damien had been telling him for years, Hayden really wasn’t very different from Drake.

  * * *

  MILA

  Mila stood nearly frozen in place as Hayden’s wolf killed the second attacker. She had already found the silver wolf, but that had seemed like a clean, quick kill, a necessity perhaps, not at all like this one. Knowing males often had to fight to the death was one thing. Seeing it was always shocking, not a sight she would ever get used to. What had happened here went against everything she was as a doctor and a shifter.

  ‘Preserve life, only hunt sick or elderly game, spare the enemy when possible.’ Those were the ideals her father had taught her. ‘Submit, give in, don’t cause trouble.’ those were the ideals her mother had taught her. This violence, this carnage, that she had witnessed was as far from what she had been raised to follow and understand as a shifter could get. Yet Hayden had had no choice in the matter. Callen had returned, injured, and his attackers were on his tail. Hayden had done the only thing he could. What toll did that take on the shifter?

  “Hayden, you can shift back now,” she said, resisting the urge to run her hand down his back.

  His breathing was heavy, his stance guarded. He was staring at her, his eyes darker than death. The flesh of his right foreleg had been torn open. He had to be in pain, yet he didn’t whine or howl. Hayden buried his head in a bank of snow, essentially rubbing what he could of the blood from his thick white fur. Did he think the blood bothered her?

  “Shift back, Hayden, so I can check your wound.” How she longed to sift her fingers through the fur at his neck, despite the blood. The need to see that he was okay had become paramount when she had heard the death curdling cries of the fight. She had run toward the fight, which was foolish in hindsight, but she hadn’t considered that there could be other wolves headed their way. She had reacted to the fear that had wrapped around her, strangling her until she could no longer breathe. Finding Hayden alive had been a relief she didn’t want to think about, not until he was healed.

  “Why aren’t you shifting back?” she asked his wolf. There was no further threat in the area. Even her limited sense of smell could deduce that now that the wind had picked up.

  His wolf limped toward her, favoring his front right leg. The skin had been rent in two, high on the leg, with several bite marks that looked bone-deep. The wound was a common one and would heal, especially for a sifter of his strength. He’d probably be fully healed by morning in fact, long before her bruises and cuts faded.

  Mila dropped to her knees, which caused her to wince. She tried not to think of the last time she had been on her knees. She had been forced there, but here it was by choice. “I’ll clean the wound if you let me.”

  His head held low, Hayden walked past her, stopping a few feet beyond where she still knelt in the hard snow. That’s when he finally shifted to human form. “I don’t need help, Mila. Just return to Kate.”

  With his back to her, Hayden cradled his right arm as he started walking off away from her, away from where he’d left Kate. Then he stopped and asked, “Is Callen okay?”

  “Unconscious. Got chewed up pretty bad, but he’ll heal. He needs rest, mostly. We all do.”

  Hayden nodded. “Stay with them. No one leaves until I return. Understood?”

  “Where are you going?”

  The breath he drew was more of a shudder. “Just don’t leave, okay, Mila. Please?”

  His voice was soft, wounded, and he had said ‘please’. Deep down she knew this was the Hayden she had glimpsed here and there, the part he had been hiding for some unknown reason. “Be careful, Hayden.”

  He nodded.

  “You’re coming back, aren’t you? You’re not going to leave me, I mean us?”

  Another nod, and then he shifted and ran with an uneven gait on a wounded foreleg. Mila made her way back to Kate and Callen. Callen was passed out, but already his wounds were healing. His head lay on Kate’s lap and she was stroking his face, neck, and arms like a massage one would give a newborn, gentle and soothing.

  “Did you clean his wounds?” Mila asked. Infection in a shifter was rare, but Kate’s own bout with sepsis was a prime reason not to take any chances.

  “Yes. Where’s Hayden? He’s alive, isn’t he? Please don’t tell me he’s dead. I don’t think I could take it right now.”

  “His front right leg has a deep wound and a few bites, but I expect he’ll be fine, at least physically. He killed two shifters, Kate. He seemed different afterward. Wouldn’t even get close enough for me to check his wounds. He left, said he’d be back and that we should wait here.”

  “Then we wait. He won’t leave us here long. You should sleep.”

  “And you?”

  “My turn to play sentry.” Kate lifted the gun from her pack. “I just want to hold Callen. Besides, I’m too wired to sleep.”

  Mila wrapped the foil blanket around her and laid down in a clear spot under a pine where she quickly fell into a restless sleep. Too many images of wolves torn apart, fists moving lightning fast, and blood washing down a drain filled her head.

  Then someone was shaking her. She sat up too fast, wincing at the pain in her side and face that accompanied the sudden movement. The snow glistened in the morning sun and Kate was standing over her, trying to wake her, but it was Hayden’s soft voice that caught her attention. He and Callen were standing a few yards away, talking in low whispers. Instantly, the world felt new and whole again. Hayden had returned and looked as healthy as ever, perfect in fact. His movements were fluid and natural as if his wolf had fully healed him.

  “Who’d ever thought something so lightweight could be so useful,” Kate said as she folded the mylar blanket.

  “I could say the same about you, princess,” Callen said with a smile that caused Kate to beam.

  As Callen’s and Kate’s flirting continued, Mila’s eyes ran the length of Hayden. . . just to check him over from a medical standpoint, nothing more. Almost. He was wearing a pair of black pants and a long-sleeve black top, similar to military fatigues, but without any insignia or markings. That’s not the clothing he had stashed in the bag earlier.

  The pants hugged his muscular form quite nicely, making her mind wander to places—positions with him—that she had no business imagining. Her skin warmed as his dark eyes found her. He quirked an eyebrow. Was she blushing or making some stupid face? She almost gave in to years of conditioning, and survival which demanded she avert her eyes. Instead, she followed Hayden’s every move, watching how his muscles flexed and moved with quiet power.

  Something within her couldn’t look away as he bent down and shouldered the bags. Her wolf. Had to be her damn wolf. No, that couldn’t be, not after the virus.

  With a quick bounce of the bag against his shoulder, Hayden appeared to be in top shape and ready to leave. Nothing about the way he moved hinted at any injuries and the scrapes on his face had healed as well in what, mere hours? Callen’s too, for that matter. Aside from Kate who was battling an infection, Mila was the only one healing slowly, but that wasn’t a surprise. These shifters were strong, as strong as any alpha. Strike that. Stronger than Truman, maybe even Vance.

  “Let’s go, Dr. Evans,” Hayden s
aid.

  Doctor? What happened to ‘Mila’? Or even ‘Doc’?

  “I have a car waiting a mile from here.”

  So, that’s what he had been doing all night. It made sense. Hayden had intentionally kept them in the woods, to give Callen a chance to track them. Now that Callen had found them, they could afford to travel via car and put miles between the shifters hunting them.

  “And here I thought you’d found a better vacation spot than this luxury outdoor adventure Kate and I had dreamed up,” Mila said.

  The corner of his mouth quirked ever-so-slightly. The heat that ran through her was most unexpected.

  “You okay, Doc?”

  She would be better if he went back to calling her ‘Mila’. “I’m fine. Just got distracted for a minute.” There was a lightness to his voice that hadn’t been there yesterday after she had been attacked.

  As she rose, she faltered and grabbed outward for a tree branch to steady herself. Instead, she latched onto Hayden’s arm. “I stood up too fast.”

  “You’re not healing,” he said, frowning.

  She smiled through the pain. “I’m healing, just not as fast as usual. Too much stress over the past few weeks, lack of sleep, the cold. Give me a warm cabin and some hot chocolate with little marshmallows, and I’ll show you a different shifter than the getting-chased-by-crazy shifter version.”

  “More than chased. Beat up. Nearly. . .”

  He couldn’t say it and it was just as well. She needed happy thoughts, like Hayden smiling at her, or talking to her in that sweet gentle voice she really enjoyed hearing. All he had for her was that frown. Enough was enough already. Mila pushed up on her toes and pressed her lips against Hayden’s.

  Her shifter tasted like chocolate and raspberries and she knew from that very moment that she would never have enough of him. As she stepped forward and pressed her body against him, one hand smoothed down her back, stopping just above her ass while the other hand wove through her hair. He cupped her head, holding her steady as he sank into the kiss. His power, his desire, rolled through her until he pulled away suddenly and stared down at her, confusion spreading through his face.

  She had misread him. She had projected her own needs, her desires, onto him. He hadn’t been prepared for the kiss, which was why he was pulling away. If he were into her, he wouldn’t need to be prepared. He’d go with the flow, smile, kiss her back, do something to show he welcomed her advance. Instead, he just stood there, looking shocked, maybe even a bit horrified. She didn’t know Hayden very well, but clearly, she had misread him and his interest in her.

  Mila cleared her throat and looked away. She had never been so bold and daring with a guy in her life, and now she understood why. Kissing a guy like that, premature and without invitation, made a girl vulnerable. She had had enough of being vulnerable in her life. She’d left that Mila behind, with her pack. And to top everything off, she’d have to deal with the embarrassment of her forwardness.

  ‘Socially awkward.’ That was her mom’s phrase, and it described Mila to a T. Just because she liked a guy, didn’t mean he’d like her back. The world didn’t work that way, and Hayden had tried to be gentle with her, warning her off. He had told her himself, without going into too many details, that he enjoyed the company of many women, whenever he wanted. Translation: he didn’t need an insecure woman like her.

  Failing to read between the lines hadn’t been her problem. Ignoring them had. Back to that socially awkward quality of hers. Reading social cues and understanding shifters had never been a strength of hers. She had fallen for good looks and strength once before. It’s how she had gotten tangled up with Vance. Well, that and her mother pushing her toward him, telling her she’d never do better.

  Mila smoothed out her blouse and her jeans without looking at Hayden and then walked toward Kate and Callen who had discreetly turned away. No one said a word as Hayden brushed past them, leading the way to the car. It was time to leave these wretched woods. One nightmare was ending, and a new one had already begun.

  Chapter Four

  HAYDEN

  Five hours in the car, and Hayden and Mila had barely spoken a word, at least to one another. Mila talked to Kate. Kate talked to everyone, and Callen talked to him and Kate, with an occasional question for Mila about her pack and the virus.

  Hayden listened intently to everything Mila said, about how she had been quick to recognize the virus before it had a chance to spread through her pack like wildfire. She had ordered everyone to remain in their own cabins, or any place isolated until it was clear who was sick and who wasn’t, and the patrols had posted quarantine signs around the pack, to keep uninfected shifters out. Her quick thinking had kept two-thirds of the pack from becoming sick. The shifters who had become sick hadn’t fared well without the cure. Most had died, and those who had survived had lost their ability to shift.

  Aside from providing an overview of her pack’s situation, Mila remained quiet. Hayden looked in the rearview mirror occasionally, hoping to catch her looking at him. Wishful thinking. She had kissed him and then realized her mistake, and that was the end of it. The best twenty seconds of his life followed by the heart-wrenching realization that she wasn’t truly interested in him.

  “Don’t look so nervous, Mila,” Kate said when they finally got out of the car. “Everyone will love you here.”

  They were still a mile from camp, but they were home. Now Hayden could get back to his duties and stop thinking about Mila. Being so close in the car, having to breathe in her scent for hours and not being able to touch her had been taxing. His wolf had been clawing at him to run, to fight—to do anything to drive away the unfulfilled need to touch her.

  Thankfully, as the group walked up the path to the center of camp, Callen walked at Hayden’s side in silence. That’s what he liked best about Callen. The shifter knew when to keep quiet, unlike Blade who would be ribbing him about whatever the hell was going on between Mila and him. This pack had been Hayden’s home for eight years, enough that he considered a small group of shifters family. Damien was like a brother to him. A frustrating brother at times, but a shifter Hayden could trust and count on, with his life. That was more than Hayden ever had with Drake. Since they were kids, at least.

  “Feels good to be back,” Callen said, making small talk. Callen didn’t make small talk.

  “Kate put you up to this, didn’t she?” Hayden replied.

  “Just talking.”

  “Then get to the point, whatever it is.” The women had raced ahead. Kate had said something about smelling cinnamon buns and being starved. Hayden wasn’t sure where he was planning to go. Whether to grab a hot shower or check in with Damien first. He damn well wasn’t going anywhere near the cookhouse.

  Damien had moved the pack to their original site, the one they had abandoned a few months back when Drake had infected the pack with HEV, the Human Eradication Virus. Hayden had been away at the time, but coming back to an empty camp and no note had felt like he had been cast out from a pack a second time. He had tracked and found the pack and been warned off, lest he contract the virus that was deadly to the human population. Hayden had served as an intermediary between Damien and Liam at that point. Anna and Alex had eventually found a cure. Even though Hayden had been welcomed at Liam’s pack, he had never felt so lost as during that period.

  Despite the many pack members who still didn’t trust or approve of him after all these years, this place, this pack was home now or the closest he’d ever have to one. Even so, he missed the home where he’d grown up, the ones in his memories—the good ones—of his parents and even Drake, before his life, his pack, spiraled out of control.

  His family had been happy those first twelve years of his life, or as happy as one can be under the tyrannical rule of a crazy alpha. His grandfather Jacob was harsh, strict, but sane for the most part. It was when his uncle Logan took over after murdering Kate’s parents that everything had declined into madness. The next shifter on Logan’
s hit list had been Hayden’s dad, but the nightmare hadn’t ended there. Logan had taken Drake to raise as his own. Hayden and Drake’s mother had been powerless to stop him; they all had. She ended up dead soon after—a message to any who dare interfere with Logan. Hayden hadn’t been strong or smart enough to save his mother or Drake. Logan did a number on Drake, twisting what had once been a sweet child. Drake grew up learning from Logan all too well. Logan’s tyranny continued after Drake took over as alpha, and Hayden. . .he’d been powerless to stop it.

  Yeah, that was one hell of a history to spring on a potential mate. Any sane person would go running from him and his family. Mila already had. Not exactly screaming, but she had closed herself off to him.

  “What’s bothering you?” Callen asked.

  “Nothing.” Everything. “Tired, nothing more. Let’s report in to Damien. Get this over with so I can get some sleep.”

  They turned into the main compound. The place was bustling with activity as usual.

  “She’s cute,” Callen said. “Sweet girl too.”

  “Mila’s hardly sweet to me.”

  “I was talking about Abbie over there.”

  Hayden looked up. Abbie was waving to him, trying to get his attention.

  “Interesting how you thought I was talking about Mila though.”

  “Fuck you,” Hayden said, increasing his stride to get away from Callen.

  As they walked up the steps to Damien’s house, they heard Damien’s raised voice. He sounded pissed-off.

  Even before they were fully through the door, Hayden was growling. Damien stopped talking and raised a brow as if to question why Hayden was growling.

  Sometimes a shifter just wasn’t in the mood to deal with his alpha. Images of that shifter attacking Mila wouldn’t leave Hayden’s head.