In the Forest of Light and Dark

by Kasniak, Mark

  The whole class just stared at me.

  “Miss. Singer, I don’t have time for this.” Mr. McLaren then said before moving on with his lecture and not bothering to call on me for the rest of the class.

  *****

  Fifth period eventually rolled around, and I found myself back in the cafeteria—the leper sitting by herself—hunkered down at my table in the far corner of the room.

  The three bitches were with their meathead boyfriends at their table halfway across the room from me, but I could still feel their icy stares. I also had felt like they were up to something, or something was about to happen at least. It wasn’t just from the sneers and dirty looks they were continually giving me. It was just a strange feeling I had. An intuition that something important was about to happen. An omen.

  I had just torn open the wrapper of a granola bar and started munching when; I looked up to notice a girl who had come walking into the cafeteria fashionably late after the bell had already rung. She’d been dressed almost entirely in black except for the few pieces of silver that lined her belt, and the reddish eye shadow she wore a little too thick. Her hair was of a light auburn and her skin was flawless albeit somewhat pale. As she made her way across the room, she seemed to float in her stride like she rode on a cloud-of-confidence that kept her above everyone else. Now, I’m not a vagitarian, but... I’d have to say that when I saw this girl come swaggering into the cafeteria like she owned the place. I thought instantly that she had a bad-ass cool about her and a beauty that pulled attention to her like a magnet. She was what my step daddy would have called the real McCoy, only in a dark, edgy way. Not in a fake, superficial Keri Mahan way.

  The bitches took notice of her right away and stared her down as she had entered the room.

  Donnie Reese then yelled out, “FREAK!” as she walked past their table.

  She stopped after he had said it, and just stood there staring back at him. Her eyes piercing him like daggers. Donnie suddenly looked uncomfortable with her attention focused on him. So he scornfully yelled, “WHAT?” at her.

  The girl then calmly walked right up to his table, and I thought I saw Donnie squirm a little in his seat as she approached him. She then came in close exuding a courage I had never seen before in anybody except maybe my Step Daddy Cade after he was good and liquored up. I was on the very edge of my seat. Full of anticipation of whatever it was she was about to do next. She then leaned in on their table bracing herself on her outstretched arms. She stared at Donnie dead-in-the-face as if she were a wild animal encroaching in on his turf and ready to attack.

  “Get out of here.” Hallie snipped at her.

  “Shut the Hell up. You little bitch!” The Goth girl fired back with a look of pure animosity. Hallie did as she been told.

  “What did you say to me?” She then asked Donnie. But before he could sum up the courage to reply, Erik Myers stepped in saying, “The witches table is over there.” Pointing in my direction. The Goth girl then looked over at me, and I quickly averted my gaze pretending that I wasn’t paying any attention as to what was going on in her neck of the woods. “So why don’t you get the fuck out of here and go sit with your own kind?” Erik barked.

  I heard the girl say something in a language I couldn’t understand. But from the sounds she made and from her body language. It looked, as if, she was cursing him. Then, she spat right in his face.

  Everyone at the bitches table reeled back when she did it. Erik shot straight up from his seat.

  “You fuckin’ WHORE!” he angrily shouted at the girl as he wiped the spittle from his face. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

  The Goth girl then stepped back away from the table and gave Erik the finger. He then went for her.

  “Mr. Myers!” a man’s voice rang out from somewhere else in the cafeteria. “Do we have a problem here, Mr. Myers?”

  It was one of the cafeteria monitors. A teacher who had sat at the head of the room. I didn’t know his name just then, but later I would find out he was Mr. Shaller a freshman English teacher.

  “This bitch just spit in my face!” Erik groaned disdainfully. While he continued to wipe his cheek that was now quickly turning red with embarrassment.

  “Yeah, and the witch put some of her voodoo on us too.” Keri then added.

  “I wasn’t talking to you, Keri. So, I would appreciate it if you just kept it zipped.” Mr. Shaller then said giving Keri a dour look. He then asked, “Is that true Katelyn… Did you spit on Erik?”

  The Goth girl—Katelyn—said nothing. She just wore a mischievous smirk that curled up from around her pursed lips. Her black lipstick giving her a sense of portentousness.

  “Right this way, Katelyn.” Mr. Shaller then said, gesturing to her with one of his fingers. They both began to walk out of the cafeteria together. Katelyn a few feet in front of him.

  I had assumed that she was on her way to the principal’s office. But as she walked in front of Mr. Shaller on her way out of the cafeteria. She turned to look back over her shoulder at me. She then giggled and gave me a small smile, and I couldn’t help myself but to laugh a little and smile right back at her.

  After that, Erik, Donnie, Harlin, and the bitches pretty much kept to themselves until the period ended. I also had managed to lie low until the day was over. Then, I disappeared from the school’s grounds as soon as the last bell had rung.

  On my walk back home, I was quickly joined by two strays. They were both a little on the smaller side. One an olive-brown. The other a smoky grey. They kept pace with me as I walked, and I played with them by waving around a small tree branch that still had a few leaves attached to it. I had found it lying on the side of the road and thought it would make a good toy. As I waived the limb back-and-forth through the air. It would cause the cat’s natural instincts to kick in. They would then try to pounce on the branch’s leaves as if it were a mouse.

  After arriving home. I went in through the back, leaving the cats out on the deck waiting for me patiently as I slipped into the kitchen to get a saucer of milk for them. When I had returned I placed the saucer down on the deck watching the cats take to it right away. While they were busy lapping up the milk. I used the opportunity to go back in the kitchen to look for some more of those cans of tuna that I’d found tucked away in one of the kitchen cupboards, but I couldn’t find any this time. So, I had mentioned to my mama—who was sitting at the kitchen table and appeared as if going through the newspaper—that we should pick up a bag of cat food for all the strays we had coming around the house. She said to me that she would, but she didn’t think it would be such a good idea to encourage the cats to be hanging around. That their presence would only piss off my step daddy to high heavens, having our property be turned into a cats den. I then thought to myself, The hell with Step Daddy Cade. I like the cats. So, I made up my mind right then and there that the next time I made it into the village I would buy a bag of food, or cans, or whatever the hell cat food came in. Leaving it tucked away in one of the cabinets in the garage where Step Daddy Cade would never find it.

  “Oh, dear!” I then heard my mama suddenly exclaim while sucking in a breath.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Oh, I was just having a look at this week’s copy of the Village Bee that I’d picked up from one of those newsstands out front of the supermarket. And, it says here that a family who lives over on Quaker Street, which is only a few blocks away from here, was involved in a bad car accident during last night’s storm. Four kids, three boys ages twelve, nine, and seven, and a little girl age four, were all killed in the accident on Allegany Road. The mother, Linda Mathers, was the only survivor. It says that she’d been rushed to Saint Christopher’s Hospital with a head injury and a few broken bones but is expected to survive.”

  My mama, then put down the paper and looked at me plaintively. As if I somehow had a way of ameliorating what had happened.

  I didn’t know what to say to her so I just said the only thing that popped into my
mind, “That sucks.” to which she then said to me, “Cera, that’s terrible.” at my sounding so callous. I truly hadn’t meant to sound like I didn’t care. I just didn’t know what to say about it. But not wanting to take our conversation any further I then just elected to leave the kitchen.

  So, I went into the living room (After having forgotten about the cats out on the deck.) and had just settled down on the couch in front of the television. Where I began flipping through the channels with the clicker. When out of the blue. I began to hear a low rumble coming from somewhere outside. At first, I paid it no mind. Thinking it was just a large truck going down the road. But after a while it began to grow louder and louder as it neared. Curious, I got my butt up off the sofa and went over to the nearest window to take a peek. I had looked out just in time to see my Step Daddy Cade pulling up our curvy driveway in a brand new pickup.

  Jesus Right Christ on a popsicle stick, that thing is freakin’ huge, I thought as it came to a stop just before the garage.

  It was huge. The biggest on the market. A brand-new Ford F-350 diesel with the dual rear tires. Its shimmering blue paint was the color of the Gulf and its enormous chrome bumper and grill shined in the glaring sunlight blinding my eyes.

  I left the window and ran outside to take a closer look.

  “How-do-ya like my new ride?” Step Daddy Cade asked when he saw me come out of the house.

  Truthfully, I had never, had I ever, seen something so kick-ass. (In a good way. Not in a Keri Mahan like way.) “It’s awesome!” I told him as I opened up the driver’s side door hopping up into the cab. “Can I take it for a ride?” I asked. To which, of course, my Step Daddy Cade replied, “No... But, I can take you for a ride if you want? Besides, you still don’t have your driver’s license yet.”

  “Well, how can I get one if you and mama don’t ever let me drive anywhere?” I pouted.

  “I said I’ll take ya drivin’. Just not in this, okay. I’ll teach ya in the Pontiac. It’ll be good that ya learn with somethin’ smaller anyways. Figurin’ it will probably be yours now.”

  WHAT? I thought. The fucking Pontiac will be mine! You get an F-350 and I get the Family Truckster. Not even the Trans Am that I’d been promised. Boy, if my parents thought that I might be having a hard time making new friends now... Well, wait until everyone at school sees me pulling up in the pea-green eyesore.

  “I’m not getting the Truckster.” I told him inexorably.

  My step daddy then knowing full well that I would dig-in-my-heals tried to mollify me by saying, “Yeah, well... We’ll see what we can get for it on a trade-in after you get your license then, okay?” He then lit up a cigarette, and began grinning at me like a fool.

  “Fine,” I said, still talking through my clenched teeth. I then got down out of the cab reluctantly.

  The very next morning. I had walked to school accompanied by the black cat that I had affectingly started calling Midnight. (She was the one that had eaten the can of tuna on my back porch. And she was also the one that had followed me through the forest after I had met Savannah.)

  When we had reached the school grounds, Midnight circled around me purring up against my legs so I bent down to pick her up. As I nestled her soft fur against my face. I gave her a snuggling hug and wished silently to myself that I could spend the rest of the day with her. Instead of dealing with the bitches and Mr. McLaren’s gay ass.

  Then, after spending more time than I should have holding the feline before the school’s front steps. I’d figured that maybe tomorrow. I would try an experiment to see how the school operated with its attendance policy.

  My plan was simple really. I was going to play hooky and then see if the school called my home or would send a letter in the mail notifying my parents of my absence.

  The way my plan worked was I would hang out down the road for a little while making myself purposely late for school by missing homeroom. Then, I would conveniently show back up at home telling my mama that I had forgotten something. Later on when the school would most likely contact my mama about my absence because attendance seemed taken during homeroom. I would then tell her that they’d only called because I was late for homeroom after having stopped back at home to retrieve the item I’d forgotten. And that the homeroom teacher had already turned in the attendance sheet by the time I’d made it back to school.

  I had figured my plan should work well enough to buy me at least one day off from school, and at the very least allow me to find out how they operated attendance. Which could then buy me a few more days off as the semester progressed, but only if I played my cards right. But for now, it was off to Hell I went.

  Inside, I had made it through Mr. McLaren’s exciting world of physics without being called on to answer any questions and with only limited dirty looks from Keri Mahan. But what was distressing was, when I had taken my usual seat near the window. The kids in the class that had sat near me the last couple of days didn’t seem to want to be around me anymore. Revealed by the unoccupied seats that surrounded me. For the past two days I had been under the impression that it was just going to be Keri in physics class that treated me like I was some kind of backwoods serial killer. But today, it had seemed like everyone in the room had taken their cues from her and collectively all of them seemed to give me the cold shoulder.

  Great! Just what I needed a whole room full of Keri Mahans, I thought.

  The rest of my classes leading up to lunch seemed to go about the same way too. But, at least, at lunch I already knew I would be sitting alone.

  As I sat down at my table. I noticed that the squirrels were also absent from the area just outside the window. I had found myself missing them dearly. It was like they were my only friends in the world between 10:30 and 11:15, and now even they didn’t seem like they wanted much to do with me any longer.

  The bitches, then came in a few minutes after the bell with their meatheads in tow. Then, after they took up residency at their table Laurie Altman got up from her seat and started making her way over to my side of the room. At first, I thought she was making her way over to me, but then, thank God, she didn’t. I didn’t want her to catch me looking at her. So, I pretended as if I was busy reading while keeping a wary eye on her with my peripheral vision. She ended up sitting down at the table next to mine and started talking to the kids who occupied that table and were already busy eating their lunches.

  At first, I couldn’t make out just what it was she was saying. But after a while I thought I heard her distinctly say, “Yeah, I told you this would happen. It’s because of her.” and then everyone at the table simultaneously glanced my way. I then sank down into my chair when that had happened and I felt myself become completely abject and wanting to disappear even more than usual. After a few more whispers of gossip. Laurie then went back to her table, but not before she stole a hurried look my way wearing a smug smile of satisfaction on her face.

  Later, when I had gotten up to throw the rest of my lunch away. What I didn’t feel like eating that is, which was most of it. I had come back to my table to find a note sitting on my unattended books that I had mistakenly left unguarded on the table. It said, GO HOME WITCH!!! and had been written in thick, black marker. When I had read it, I felt a whole ambivalence of emotions begin coursing through me. Part of me wanted to cry and just run away, never to come back to Mount Harrison ever again. Another part of me wanted to kick ass like a proud Southern girl should. I just wished I had the courage to do something like what that Goth girl, Katelyn, did to Donnie Reese yesterday. Walk right up to them at their table and just spit in their faces.

  I folded up the note and had stuffed it inside the pages of my book as quickly as I could. Then, I took to staring out the windows pretending as if nothing had happened. I had no idea as to who had actually done it, really. But I had figured it was either the bitches or possibly someone from the table next to me, the table Laurie had been at conspiring.

  After a few minutes had passed. I began looking around
as nonchalantly as I could to try to gauge who might still be watching me. And, without any doubt, half the room was, of course, and still whispering amongst themselves.

  As I looked out over the cafeteria. Knowing that I was everyone’s center of attention. I started getting this weird feeling. It would only happen when I would focus in on just one particular person out of the crowd at a time. It was as if I could tell what they were thinking. They were thinking about me, of course, is what they were thinking. But, somehow I felt as if they were afraid of me. Others, I could feel an abhorrent contempt for me coming from them. Like they wanted to grab me and burn me at the stake. It was strange what I was feeling. Whatever it was. It draped over me in a malaise. Making me feel like I had a hidden power that lay dormant inside of me that would allow me to do something loathsome to them if I really wanted. Like I had this ability buried within me that I knew was there, but just couldn’t let out.

  Just then I thought of that guy from that Kids in the Hall sketch. How he would look at people and say, “I’m crushing your heads.” as he would pinch his index finger and thumb closed while looking at them through his closing fingers. Which would then give off the illusion that he was actually squishing their heads. Thinking of that kind of made me feel better, and I felt laughter begin to build up inside of me the more I thought about it. Then, I even cracked a smile. Just a little one, but it was there. The more I thought about it. The more I began to laugh out loud uncontrollably. I just couldn’t help myself. It was coming out whether I liked it or not. And soon, I found myself in full-blown hysterics.

  I knew everyone in the cafeteria was now definitely watching me. I didn’t have to look at them to know that. I just knew. I could feel it. Quickly, I tried to calm myself hoping to regain my composure, but to no avail. Tears were now streaming from my eyes and I could feel my blood pressure rising as it warmed my face. I could also hear my heart beating in my ears like a bass drum as I tried covering my face with my hands so that nobody could see me, and I them. As I went on with my fit I bent myself over facing the floor, After a while of being head down. After I had thought I was going to pop with laughter. I slowly began to regain my composure.