Loving Violet

by Terri Anne Browning

  “You mean he doesn’t carry you around like a baby koala?” I asked in amazement, poking Lyric in the side.

  “She won’t let me,” he grumbled unhappily.

  “Good for her,” I laughed. Remington came up behind me, putting his arm around my waist while Luca turned to stand beside his brother. I leaned into my husband and caught up with my friend and Mila for a little while until I heard Mom and Aunt Layla talking quietly behind us.

  I turned my head just enough to glance at them and saw the two mothers hugging. I nearly slumped against Remington in relief as Uncle Jesse gave Dad a glass of eggnog. The two of them were already joking around with each other like they had in the past.

  “Hey, no one invited me to this party,” Shaw complained as she came up behind us. “I didn’t even know you were coming, douchenozzle,” she said to Luca.

  “Wanted to surprise my mom,” he said with a shrug as he frowned down at her. “Where’s your brother?”

  I stiffened at the way his eyes shifted around the room and then fell on Cannon. Oh shit. Years may have passed since I last saw him in person, but I could still read him like a book, and what I saw in his eyes told me he was plotting murder. I hadn’t thought about what would happen if Luca was in the same room with Cannon, and I wondered if Aunt Emmie had taken it into consideration either.

  I met Shaw’s gaze, and she understood what I was thinking just as she yelled at her brother, “Cannon, run!”

  Cannon turned, grinning until he saw Luca and the death threat flashing like a neon light out of his eyes. All the blood drained from Cannon’s face. “Fuck,” I saw him mouth, and he practically tripped over his feet as he made a run for the door.

  Luca watched him with a predatory glint in his eyes, waited until Cannon reached the door, as if to give him a head start, and then ran after him. Luca passed Uncle Axton, who was talking to Aunt Emmie’s father, Eddie, but Ax didn’t move to help his son as the tank-like defensive player chased Cannon out of the house.

  Shaw snickered as she took a drink of her eggnog. “Hey, I warned him. If he can’t outrun Luca, that’s on him. I’m not getting in the middle of that. Anyone else?”

  Lyric wrapped his arm around his wife. “I’m too busy.”

  Remington kissed the top of my head. “I already got my punch in. Violet said she forgave him, so I’ve let it go.”

  “Yeah, well, Luca has a few years of aggression stored up just for Cannon.” Lyric grimaced. “Maybe we should send someone to check on them. Make sure Luca doesn’t get arrested for homicide.”

  “Nah,” Shaw said before draining her glass. “Let them work it out themselves. He dies, he dies.”

  “That’s your brother,” Mila reminded her.

  She shrugged. “Meh. Maybe Mom and Dad will finally give me a baby brother if he’s dead.”

  “Shaw,” I chided. “You don’t mean that.”

  Her sigh was dramatic, and she gave an annoyed huff as she turned to glance around the room. “Jags,” she called out. “Want to help me save my worthless brother’s life?”

  He lifted his head from where he was talking with his sister. “What’s in it for me?”

  “Saving your best friend’s life?” she offered.

  Jagger gave it a moment of consideration. “Not good enough, sorry.”

  I bit my lip to keep from laughing. “Get Barrick to help,” I suggested. “I don’t think Jagger has the muscles to assist you.”

  “Hey,” Jagger whined, hearing what I’d said. “I can take either one of them.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I snorted skeptically, knowing it would push his buttons.

  “Don’t believe me?” I shook my head, and he growled something under his breath I couldn’t hear. “Fine. Let’s go, Shaw. I’ll save the asshole.”

  Shaw bumped her fist with mine. “Gets him every time,” she said with a wink before rushing out the door with him to hopefully save her brother’s life.

  Chapter 43

  Violet

  Valentine’s Day, I woke up feeling…off.

  My love bug was kicking up a storm, making me have to pee so badly, I was forced to make a mad dash to the bathroom. Even after I’d finished, though, I just sat on the toilet and tried to calm my racing heart. I didn’t know what was going on with me, but I didn’t like this anxious feeling that was making my heart feel heavy and my stomach queasy.

  Once I washed my hands, I pulled the thermometer out of the medicine cabinet to make sure I wasn’t running a fever, thinking maybe I was just coming down with something and that was why I was feeling so off-kilter. But the reading was normal, and I didn’t feel stuffy or chilled.

  Just…anxious?

  I touched a hand to my belly, where Love Bug was kicking away. She’d gotten even more active in the past few weeks, which I loved because Remington could feel her as much as he wanted to now. I’d gone to sleep the night before to him rubbing his hands across my belly as he read to our daughter. The sound of his voice as my eyes closed had left a smile on my lips.

  But that smile wouldn’t even form this morning as I debated whether or not to even get dressed for the day. With how I was feeling, I didn’t want to face the world, let alone the housekeeper over breakfast.

  Sighing, I walked into the bedroom. Krush whined at the door, and I frowned. Hadn’t he been in bed with us the night before? I couldn’t remember, but the bedroom door was always open so he could come and go as he pleased. Rarely did we shut it because Krush had gotten even clingier with me since I’d started showing.

  Changing direction, I crossed to the door and let him in. He let out a huff, but he licked my face when I bent to kiss the top of his huge head. “Sorry, buddy. I guess Daddy accidentally closed the door last night.”

  Krush whined again and stayed by my side as I waddled to the bed. Remington was still sound asleep, and I debated crawling back under the covers with him. The drapes were drawn, and the only light was coming from the bathroom where I’d left the light on so it cast a soft glow over the bed.

  Smiling down at my husband, I stroked the backs of my fingers over his jaw and started to bend to kiss his brow when I noticed how chilled his skin was.

  My heart in my throat, I quickly snapped on the lamp beside the bed and slowly turned my head to look down at Remington. I knew what I was going to find even before my eyes landed on him once again, and my knees gave out on me.

  “No,” I thought I whispered, but I must have screamed as I grabbed the headboard and clung to it so I didn’t fall and harm the baby. My other hand touched his face again. His waxy, blue-tinged face. “Remi!” I shouted. “Wake up! Please, wake up.”

  But he didn’t move, and I couldn’t hold back my sobs a second longer. I felt Krush beside me, heard his whimper as he tried to push his face into my side. Blindly, I touched his head, trying to soothe him even as my cries echoed off the walls.

  The scream and sounds of my crying drew the housekeeper’s attention, and she must have run to tell Jenner, because moments later, I was being lifted into my bodyguard’s arms as Mrs. Briggs called Remington’s doctor.

  There was no use in calling 9-1-1. The plan was to call the doctor, and he was supposed to take care of all the other details regarding Remington’s body since the funeral arrangements had already been made in advance.

  Remington had thought of everything so I wouldn’t have to deal with anything when he passed. To make it easier on me, he’d said. So I wouldn’t have to worry about the mundane things like a casket and other decisions. He’d been so thoughtful, and I’d sat and nodded through it all as he’d talked so cavalierly about his impending death.

  While the whole time, I was dying a little on the inside because it was just one more reminder that my husband was going to leave me far too soon.

  I buried my face in Jenner’s chest as he carried me downstairs to the living room. He placed me on the couch, and Krush jumped up beside me as soon as Jenner stepped back. I wr
apped my arms around my dog, sobbing so hard my entire body shook.

  Jenner stayed in front of me, and I heard him on the phone a few times. The first time, all I heard was, “It’s time, sir. Sawyer said to call as soon as it happened… Yes, sir… I will, sir.”

  I didn’t know who he was talking to, and it made no sense to me, so I just buried myself closer into Krush until I felt someone touch me. “Violet sweetheart.”

  I gasped at the sound of Mom’s voice and threw myself against her. “Mom, he’s gone,” I whispered, my voice too hoarse from crying to go any higher. “Remi left me.”

  Tears were already spilling from her eyes as she cupped my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Vi.”

  I noticed Dad behind her, but he was talking to Jenner and the housekeeper, but my head was too foggy to pay attention to anything they were saying. The tears wouldn’t stop, my entire body was aching, and all I could think was that Remington wouldn’t want me to make myself ill or do anything to upset our love bug, but I couldn’t control it.

  The doctor arrived, and the funeral home representatives with him. Dr. Myers asked if I wanted to see Remington one more time before they took him away, but I didn’t know if I could stand, let alone walk upstairs to say goodbye to the man I loved.

  “It’s okay, Vi,” Dad said quietly. “I’ll make sure everything is taken care of.”

  “No,” I choked out. “Remington already did all of that.”

  “Wait, he…knew?” Mom frowned as she sat beside me.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “Yeah.”

  “But…”

  “Harper.” Dad stopped her with a shake of his head. “Now isn’t the time. She can’t take much more, beautiful.”

  As the morning went on, other people arrived. I wasn’t surprised when Aunt Emmie sat down beside me. She had her phone in one hand as she sat with me, not talking, just silently offering me her strength as I tried to pull myself out of the hell I’d fallen into.

  Shaw was in Paris for a photo shoot, but Mom said she was on her way back as soon as she found out. I wanted my best friend, my parents, my aunt, all of them—needed them there so I could just cry and mourn the man who had been my entire world for too short a time.

  I didn’t know how much time had passed, but when I looked out the window, I saw night had fallen. Mom tried to get me to eat a few times and even made me some tea in an attempt to calm me and get me to drink something. But I couldn’t bear the smell of food or even water when it was put in front of me. It all made me sick, and I fought my gag reflex repeatedly until she took it away.

  My love bug didn’t seem to like how upset I was and kept bouncing around in my belly as if she was trying to get out to see what was causing all the commotion. Feeling her should have calmed me. Knowing I still had a part of Remington to hold on to should have soothed something in my soul, but I was too heartbroken to think of it like that.

  All I wanted was to have a little more time with my husband. A few more days. I kept praying it was just a bad dream, that I would wake up and Remington would still be reading to our baby girl and I wouldn’t have to face reality without him.

  But it wasn’t, and the continued kicks of our precious little girl were a constant reminder.

  I touched my hand to where she was angrily kicking close to my navel and remembered how happy her daddy was when the ultrasound tech told us we were having a daughter. He’d repeatedly said he didn’t care what gender the baby was as long as our child was healthy, but I knew he was secretly hoping for a girl. Not just because he knew it would have pissed off his grandfather if the old bastard had still been alive. Every time we went to my parents’ house, he would ask Mom to show him all my baby pictures. He would look at them and tell me how much he hoped our baby looked like me, and that he knew she was going to be the most beautiful little girl in the world.

  Krush’s growl drew my head up because I wasn’t used to him making that sound. Frowning when he did it again, I tried to find the cause and gasped when I saw Luca walking toward me through the small crowd that had gathered in my living room. Krush moved in front of me protectively, but I stroked my hand over his back absently, and he instantly calmed down as Luca stopped in front of me before crouching down.

  He let Krush smell his hand, and after a moment, my dog licked his palm. “It’s okay, boy,” he said in a firm but quiet voice. “I’m here to take care of your momma.”

  I frowned, not understanding what he was saying. “You…are?”

  Instead of answering me, he pushed my hair back from my face, his thumb wiping away a lingering tear on my cheek. “You’re ice-cold, babe. And your face is so pale.” He glanced at Mom, who was still sitting beside me, just as shocked at seeing him there as I was. “Has she eaten?”

  “No, not a thing. She said her stomach is too upset.”

  His lips twisted and he stood. “Not good, Vi. You have to take care of the baby if not yourself.”

  “I’m not hungry,” I started to snap at him, getting pissed that he thought he could just walk into my house and try to boss me around. But he lifted me into his arms before I could put any real strength into my voice. “Stop. Put me down. What are you doing?” I demanded when he carried me out of the living room.

  As he passed Jenner, I reached out for my bodyguard. “Jenner, make him put me down!”

  Ignoring me, the muscled guard nodded at Luca. “Mr. Thornton.”

  “Jenner,” he said with a nod, as if they knew each other well. It only confused me, and it made me even angrier.

  “Which way to the kitchen?” he asked as he glanced around.

  “This way,” Mrs. Briggs told him when I didn’t offer directions.

  He followed her to the kitchen, where she left us, and he sat me on the island in front of the refrigerator. “Stay here,” he instructed before opening one of the large double doors. He glanced inside for a moment before pulling out a few containers of leftover roasted chicken and veggies.

  Placing everything on the island beside me, he found the bread and then a knife before grabbing a plate and starting to craft a few sandwiches. I sat there, too tired to argue but unable to look away from him as he moved around the kitchen like he belonged there.

  “What are you doing here, Luca?” I finally asked when I couldn’t stand the silence in the room another second.

  He glanced up from spreading mayo on a slice of bread. His hypnotic eyes were swirling with a few different shades of brown, but I was too tired to decipher them in order to figure out what he was feeling or thinking right then. “I don’t think you’re ready to hear my reasons for being here, Vi.”

  “How did you even know?”

  He placed a slice of bread on top of one of the sandwiches and cut it in half before picking it up and offering it to me. “Again, something you probably aren’t ready to discuss. Maybe tomorrow.”

  I just looked at him, wondering what new hell I was living in, but he grasped my right hand and placed half of the sandwich in it before lifting it toward my mouth. “Eat. That baby girl will calm down a little if you feed her.”

  “Y-you know I’m having a girl?” I asked in bewilderment.

  He finished spreading mayo over the other two sandwiches and picked one up. After taking a bite, he chewed, seeming to give himself time to come up with an answer. “I know she likes it when her daddy reads to her at night. I know she likes the sound of her mom talking to her, because her kicks aren’t as hard, but she’s still just as active. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I already love her more than life itself because she is half you.”

  I dropped the uneaten sandwich back onto the plate and started to slide off the island. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “Yeah, babe. I really should be.” He moved so that I was blocked in against the island and picked up my food once again. This time, instead of placing it in my hand, he lifted it to my mouth himself. “Open,” he commanded.

&nb
sp; “Luca, stop,” I snapped, turning my head away and pushing at his chest.

  “That’s it, baby. Get pissed at me.” With his free hand, he stroked his thumb over my jaw. “Scream at me. Hit me. Cry. Get mad. Do whatever the hell you need to do to get it all out. I know you’re hurting. That your heart aches so bad it’s hard to breathe right now. I’m here to get you through this. So, use me as a punching bag. Yell in my face. Kick my ass physically or verbally—I don’t care. But you’re going to eat because this baby needs you to stay healthy for her.”

  “Just tell me why you’re here!” I yelled, blinking back tears of the frustration that was mixing with my heartache. I couldn’t tell up from down, and Luca was only confusing me more.

  “For you, Vi,” he said calmly, as if that explained everything.

  “But why?” I cried, slapping my hands against his chest, trying to push him aside so I could get away. I wanted away from him, away from the pain I was feeling, away from the noise in my head that wouldn’t shut up.

  “Let’s compromise,” he offered, still in that calm voice that at one time would have soothed me. “You eat, and I’ll answer a few of your questions.”

  I muttered a curse but grabbed the sandwich from him and took an angry bite. I couldn’t taste it, but he seemed to relax a little when I started chewing. “Now, start talking.”

  A sad smile teased at his lips, and he used his thumb to wipe away a small smear of mayo from the corner of my mouth. But I wasn’t prepared for the words that left his mouth to pull the rug out from under my world all over again.

  “Remington asked me to take care of you and the baby when he died.”

  Chapter 44

  Luca

  The angry flames banked in Violet’s eyes didn’t distract from how red and swollen they were from all the tears she’d cried. But the way her nostrils flared while she glared up at me with that precious baby bump of hers made her look so adorable, all I wanted to do was kiss her until she didn’t remember why she was so sad to begin with.