Before I realized what I was doing, I raised my hand and slapped her, interrupting her selfless sentiment. My palm stung, and my shield was humming through my skin. My heart was pounding as I turned away from her and waded into the stream. Once in the water I looked back to the bank to observe her standing perfectly still, her colorless eyes following me, her hand pressed to her cheek. It occurred to me that no one had ever dared slap the Fae Queen. She stood completely motionless, as if stunned. After a moment, she seemed to come back to herself. She turned and walked over to some high rocks on the bank, dropped her cloak from her shoulders, and dove into the deeper part of the water, down stream from me.
Shaken by my own action, I turned my attention to bathing in the icy stream. First I scrubbed away the grime of my voyage, finishing by lathering my hair. I kept my back to M’Tek, as she bathed not far from me. I went under the frigid water to rinse, and turned as I broke the surface, needing to look at her again, to see her. My eyes started stinging as I watched her, and after a moment, she stopped what she was doing and waded close. She found my hand under the water and guided it up to the still red cheek where I’d struck her. Heat radiated through her skin, warming my hand.
Without a word, she eased closer to me, and pressed soft lips to my throat, just above the neck of my bathing dress. She then cautiously began unfastening the ties. She gathered the hem in her hands under the water, and lifted the wet cotton up and over my head, before releasing it in the stream. I watched it float away, and then shifted my gaze back to her.
“I’ve missed you,” she said softly. “That’s what I wanted to say before.” Tears started burning in my eyes again, and she gathered me close to her. “Please don’t cry, my love,” she entreated close to my ear. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” I nestled close to her, her skin cool and slick in the water. I took a deep breath, and her lips pressed to my temple.
“I’ve wanted you every second,” I choked out, managing not to cry. “I had to control myself when I saw you approaching. My heart was pounding so powerfully it made my chest ache. Still, I pretended it didn’t matter, seeing you for the first time after months. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. It’s exhausting, pretending not to feel.”
“If it’s any consolation, you’ve mastered the art,” she observed. “You even had me fooled this time.”
“I’ll never stop loving you,” I said evenly, shifting back to see her eyes. M’Tek nodded.
“Then I won’t doubt you again,” she said, flashing that naughty grin that made my knees weak. “Now that we have that settled,” she continued, “we should head back to camp. Knowing Shiroane, she’ll be delaying dinner for us.” I nodded and moved away from her, wading out of the stream.
We ate around the fire, M’Tek laughing with the members of her guard. I realized, as I watched the interactions, that they were actually friends. A few barbed comments were aimed at her, teasing her about me in a vague way. She took it well, making light of herself, grinning and laughing with them. There was no pedestal for her to balance on, because they knew she was a real woman, possessing her own desires and weaknesses. My own guard would not eat in my presence, with the exception of Lord Roland, who only sat with me at my specific invitation, offering stilted, overly refined conversation while I ate. The idea that any of them might tease me was absurd.
After dinner M’Tek and I walked the perimeter of the camp, her arm across my shoulders, holding me close against her side. Once we were well away from the others, she reached her free hand along my jaw turning my face, so she could press her lips to mine. Her mouth was gentle, but grew demanding as I responded. She sighed and drew back from me, caressing my cheek as she withdrew her hand.
“Your guards, they know about us, don’t they?” I observed as we began walking again.
“Of course,” she replied. “Most of Faeland believes we’re involved in a torrid love affair.”
“It doesn’t worry you, confirming those rumors?” I asked, surprised by her casual manner.
“It would be useless trying to conceal my affection for you at this point, especially from my guards,” she explained.
“But what about the witch?” I asked. “You don’t think she’ll find out?”
“If Sim’Nu has a spy among my private guard, I deserve whatever penance she doles out for me,” M’Tek said evenly. Still I couldn’t shake my concern. “We’re safe. You can relax for now,” she added, picking up on my apprehension.
“I’ll try,” I promised.
“Would you prefer to wait until everyone but those on watch have turned in before we return?” she offered. “Fewer eyes will see us.”
“That would help,” I admitted.
We caught sight of the first of the Noge estates we were to visit around lunchtime the following day. We stopped not far from the estate gates, and hobbled the horses under the canopy of an impressively gnarled and massive old oak tree. We ate companionably in the shade, M’Tek sitting close to me, her shoulder periodically nudging mine. I inhaled the soft scent of citrus as her hair lifted in the breeze, and felt my cheeks grow warm as I remembered the night before, in her tent. I threw a scrap of my lunch to Faira, who was sitting at my feet, and the wolfhound’s tail started thumping against the ground in a soft rhythm, stirring a small cloud of dust.
I scanned the scene around us, taking in the vibrant reds and purples of the lupine fields next to the healthy gold of the short stiff tumminia crops, all tended with such care. My gaze moved along the well-maintained fences stretching across acres, engendering a sort of manicured peace. These were agricultural people. My early years flooded back to me, those days when I’d lived on the southern edge of the Western Noge Territory, with my aunt and uncle, tending goats in the foothills, overlooking the farmlands in the Pale Valley. The life these people lived was very relevant to me.
“You look happy,” M’Tek observed, once the others were up again, tending to the horses.
“I am,” I acknowledged. “It’s as if a pressure valve has released inside of me.” One ash colored eyebrow lifted, as M’Tek smiled a self-satisfied smile. “It’s not that,” I said quickly, realizing she thought I was referring to our activities in her tent the previous evening. “All right, it is that to some extent. I won’t lie. I’ve certainly missed being with you. But what I was actually referring to is the natural way everyone behaves around us,” I explained. “To the Fae I’m hardly more than a source of amusing gossip, whereas I’m treated as though I’m slightly dangerous by my own subjects. You should have seen Kieran after…” I stopped, realizing M’Tek might not want to think about what happened to Kieran.
“After what?” she asked, without a trace of jealousy.
“She tried to kiss me, in the stables,” I stammered. “I was unable to control my shield, and she was thrown across the aisle of the stable, and against a stall door,” I explained. “For a moment I thought I’d really hurt her, but she was just a little bruised.” M’Tek started laughing.
“It sounds to me as if you are dangerous, my love. Maybe your subjects are right to be wary,” she teased.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” I said. “I didn’t want to hurt her.”
“You obviously didn’t want to kiss her either,” M’Tek observed. “This Vilken girl would do well to be more cautious.” I shook my head. “If I’d been present, she would have been hurt far more critically, I assure you.”
“M’Tek,” I said sharply. “You can’t be possessive of me,” I pointed out. “I have to take a consort soon, and he will likely kiss me if I’m to have an heir,” I added. Her expression darkened and she placed her plate on the ground beside her, her appetite clearly lost. Faira rose and approached, waiting for M’Tek to grant her permission before she began cleaning her plate.
“Have you narrowed your list of prospective candidates?” M’Tek finally asked, her voice seeming to come from somewhere deep in the back of her throat, as if it were a strain speaking. I raised my gaze fr
om my dog to M’Tek and shook my head.
“Right now the idea is too repugnant. I can’t wrap my mind around it yet,” I confessed. M’Tek smiled again, her expression softening quickly.
“Well, let’s put that difficulty aside for the present, at least while we’re so far from all of those odious obligations,” she said lightly, before wrapping an arm across my shoulders and kissing my temple. “I’m pleased you’re relaxing.”
We rode through the gates of the estate in the early afternoon. M’Tek appeared dashing on her dark horse, with her white hair gathered back at the nape of her neck, her cloak draping across Twyneth’s haunches. She rode to the front of our party and dismounted before an elderly Noge noblewoman. The woman stood perfectly erect, waiting to greet us, with her family and staff lined up neatly along the steps. The wind was high, and I was too far removed to hear the words M’Tek spoke. The noblewoman gazed at M’Tek as she was greeted, offering a respectful bow, but her vibrant blue eyes kept shifting from the Fae Queen in front of her to me, still near the back of the party. I rode forward and dismounted when M’Tek turned back and raised her hand to beckon me.
“I present Loredana of the House Castelyne, Queen of Vilkerland and the Western Noge Territory, Prime of Faeland,” M’Tek said in Noge. I offered a Noge bow, and the older woman’s eyes filled with tears as she bowed too deeply, for one of her rank, in response. “Lore, I present, Frisaine, Dame of Vischieu,” M’Tek continued. “Overseer of the southern plane of…”
M’Tek stopped speaking, appearing confused, or shocked, as the Dame began crying in earnest, tears streaming down her papery face. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around the woman. It was an impulsive act, and completely against protocol, but the Dame clung to me in return, her grip on my back stronger than I would have expected from one of her advanced years. I shifted to glance back at M’Tek, and the Dame released me.
“I apologize, Queen M’Tek,” she said, addressing M’Tek through her tears. “I mean no disrespect to you, or your benevolent rule of the Eastern Noge people, but we have waited so long for the return of the Noge Queen,” the Dame explained. “I’m utterly overwhelmed. You see, I’m one of those who didn’t believe the rumors,” she said, addressing me. “None of us dared truly hope. We thought it a trick of the Vilkerlings,” she added. “Your portrait hangs in my entry hall. Come and see,” she said, her words flying together as she took my hand to lead me up the stairs in haste, as if in a rush to prove her devotion to me. I nodded quickly to her family, all of whom were bowing far too deeply to me, as I was nearly dragged past them, having failed to gain proper introductions.
It was as the Dame described. Hanging at the pinnacle of her entry hall was a portrait of Sarane. My twin appeared quite pleased with herself, her upper lip lifted in a smile of quiet contempt, her pale blue eyes alight with mockery at my predicament. I was not, in fact, their adored queen. Sarane was the Dame’s true darling. I loathed Sarane even more than usual in that moment, but smiled to cover my reaction. My hand moved of its on will to my left shoulder, to the place where my resentment and my shield had cut Sarane’s birthmark from my body. I took some small comfort in that sensitive, silvery, skin beneath my fingertips.
I heard movement behind me as M’Tek and her guards filled the entry hall in pursuit of me. Faira trotted to my side, her toenails clicking a gentle percussion on the stone floor. Appropriate or not, M’Tek would not have me out of her sight with this impulsive noblewoman. Relief must have shown on my face, because M’Tek tipped her head slightly and approached us, stopping only when she was close enough to allow her hand to brush mine.
The remainder of the day passed in a blur of greetings. Every Noge for miles around, whether peasant or noble, began a trail through the Dame’s home to bow to me and profess their love and loyalty. Unlike the Vilkerlings to whom I was accustomed, the Noge were a physically effusive people, touching me with far more affection and frequency than I expected. I had to sharpen my focus with each passing minute as my shield began tingling through my body. If I let my guard down, I knew, people would fly across the room simply for grasping my hand. It was not at all what I had anticipated from the visit. The attention left me feeling less than human, and singled out in a way that was nearly inconceivable, and wholly exhausting. I’m not certain I would have endured the unwanted attention with such composure if not for M’Tek’s comforting presence, always within an easy arm’s reach.
In the course of the day, a large gathering developed, as more distant neighbors appeared, but none left. At one point there were well over two hundred Noge, of every age and rank, crowding me in the ballroom. Everyone who arrived brought a gift of food or drink for the Dame, and by evening a well-organized party was underway, complete with local musicians.
I craved the opportunity to slip away, to walk the fence line in peace, wanting only M’Tek and Faira for company, but it was impossible. At every moment my attention was demanded, and my focus on controlling my shield tested. Babies were held up for my inspection, and invitations were extended to me. Several young nobles even offered their services in my military, if the Fae Queen might allow it, since the Vilkerlings could not be trusted to show loyalty.
The impromptu party continued on through the evening and into the early hours of the morning. I was on the verge of collapse, my shield stinging dangerously through my fingers, when finally M’Tek intervened.
“Queen Loredana is truly exhausted, and while she’s gracious enough to entertain your guests until she collapses, I’m not willing to allow that,” I overheard M’Tek telling the Dame just to my left. “If you do not step in to protect her, I will,” M’Tek said sternly.
The Dame again burst into a flurry of activity. Now called upon to protect her beloved Noge Queen, the plump older woman seemed to grow in stature. After vigorously shoving the drummer away from his instrument, she gained the attention of the party by beating his drum. When everyone ceased celebrating and turned to stare at the spectacle of the elder noblewoman, she quickly informed the group that the Noge Queen was overtired. They were welcome to stay on a while longer, but would be required to keep their rejoicing at a tempered volume, as I would be attempting to sleep.
M’Tek walked with me as we headed for our rooms, the Dame a few steps ahead, boldly leading the way. The Dame tried several times to give me her own apartment. Each time I declined emphatically. Even if M’Tek’s apartment hadn’t adjoined mine so conveniently, I would never have put the older woman out of her own bed. The idea was preposterous. The Dame hovered for a while, and I wasn’t exactly certain what she wanted. The room was spinning around me, though my shield had calmed, mercifully. Still, I only wanted quiet.
“I’ll see her to bed,” M’Tek suggested to the Dame. The lady ignored M’Tek and then stepped close to me. She hugged me more gently than she had before, on her front steps.
“You must forgive us, my Queen,” the Dame whispered beside my ear. “We’ve waited so long for your return,” she explained. She stepped away from me, and a moment later, out through the doorway. With the happy click of the doorknob catching behind her, I was finally, blissfully, alone with M’Tek. In the next instant M’Tek’s arms were around me, supporting my weight. Apparently, I’d collapsed.
I hardly remember finding my bed that night, though I have glimpses of M’Tek helping me out of the travel garb I was still wearing. I must have been asleep before I was in bed. What I do remember is waking early the following morning with M’Tek stretched out beside me, the golden red light of sunrise spilling into the room through the open shades, making her hair shimmer like the finest of spun glass, while the faint scent of citrus fruit spiced the air. I stretched near enough to her to feel the warmth of her body, luxuriating in that perfect moment. With her sleeping beside me I had almost everything I could possibly want. That small absence was easily rectified, as I shifted only a little, moving closer to her, easing an arm across her waist to tuck my hand around her body. My happiness complete, I
watched the rise and fall of her chest as she slept, and I slowly slipped back into unconsciousness.
When I awoke again, M’Tek was sitting up in bed beside me, and reading. I moved closer to her, curious to learn what held her attention. She placed the book she was reading face down, open on the side table before offering a weighted smile. That particular expression, I knew, meant the discussion of something I might not like.
“How did you sleep?” she asked.
“Beautifully,” I replied, stretching and eyeing the long line of her exposed leg. “How about you?” She nodded in reply, as I allowed my hand to slide along the inside of her thigh.
“Dame Frisaine wants to host another party tomorrow night,” M’Tek started. “I told her it was a bad idea. They exhausted you yesterday, all to satisfy some bizarre fixation on your dead predecessor,” she said sharply. “I’m thinking maybe we should cancel the rest of the estate visits and just see the wonders of the area. What do you think?” I shook my head.
“You know I can’t do that,” I said firmly.
“But you were so happy and relaxed yesterday morning,” she pointed out. “And then they descended on you, as carrion fowl on three day dead meat.”
I eased closer to her, finding a comfortable place in the cradle of her arm, as I rested my head on her shoulder. One of her hands found the point of my hip. The other caressed the side of my head. “I came here to scour Noge libraries,” I said. “So far I haven’t even seen this one.”
“You won’t find anything, my love,” she promised.
“You said you’d help me,” I countered, tensing slightly, preparing for conflict.
The Changeling Page 17