Cowboys in Her Heart

by Jan Springer

  “Don’t worry, sweetie,” JJ encouraged. “You’ll get your man. I’m sure of it. He will be strong and tender and sweet and caring and-”

  “And now you’re talking about your baby daddy,” Milena said softly.

  “He is adorable,” JJ answered. She couldn’t tell Milena that all three of her cowboys were gorgeous and she wished Milena could have three guys of her very own too.

  “They are all very nice to me. I had no clue nice guys existed. Too bad I hadn’t met one of them when I was a teenager. Life would have gone down a very different path,” Milena said.

  “Yeah, for me too. But we can’t concentrate on what could have been. We have to focus on what we want and we have to work toward it,” JJ replied.

  Milena came to an abrupt halt and suddenly gathered JJ into her arms.

  “You have come such a long way since we were together back in the pen. I am so proud of you,” she whispered into JJ’s ears and hugged her even tighter.

  Milena’s words made warmth and happiness bubble through her. JJ had come a long way from being the frightened, bitter woman who’d stayed in her cell as much as possible and suffered anxiety and panic attacks.

  Now she had a baby on the way, was flying a plane and helping to run a cattle empire and that inner restlessness that been plaguing her since she’d hooked up with Brady, Dan and Rafe had disappeared. Life just could not get any better. She was living her dream.

  Somewhere nearby from one of the treetops an owl hooted and Milena let go of JJ. Then she hooked her arm with hers again and they began walking once more. Milena’s gaze was all over the place as they both tried to locate the owl who kept hooting.

  “I love that sound. It’s spooky but it sounds like freedom. This whole untamed place with such rich colors of green trees, sparkling blue lakes and crazy creatures, touches emotions inside of me that I never knew I had. Do you know what I mean?” she asked.

  JJ nodded. “It’s freedom. Some call it getting back to nature. Or tapping into their wild side. Tomorrow we’re taking the entire day off for ourselves. I’m going to take you up into the sky and show you more of the wilderness. I know you flew in with Blue, so she was on her best flying behaviour. But flying with me is a whole different ball game. We can go over to see the cabin that the guys built too. We’ll have a picnic there. How’s that sound?”

  Milena brightened. “I’d like that.”

  “Great! Now let’s get a move on. We’ve got one hour left of light and I say let’s take full advantage of working off the supper we just had.”

  Her friend nodded and before JJ knew it, they were walking so fast, it felt as if she was flying and she loved it.

  "Lake Nipigon is so beautiful, JJ. Thank you for bringing me here. I absolutely love the way the sparkles beneath the sunlight."

  "I thought you might like it," JJ replied, as the next day, she flew her plane over the largest lake within the boundaries of Ontario.

  JJ smiled as Milena kept her eager gaze focused out the window and her hands clutched to her chest in awe. For a long time, they were quiet as she flew them over numerous square shaped table top islands with their spectacular sheer cliffs and black sandy beaches.

  JJ wondered how she could ever have lived without flying a plane or seeing the earth from this vantage. Maybe that was why she had had such a run of bad luck for so many years? She hoped that God had been saving up to get her a real happy ever after.

  She dropped the plane lower so they could get a closer look at the sparkling waters and the towering tree tops.

  "Wow, I feel like I can just reach out and grab those branches," Milena whispered dreamily.

  "Why don't you learn how to fly? If I can do it, anyone can."

  Milena grinned and shook her head.

  "I would rather be the passenger. It is so much less stressful. Besides, I doubt I will get as lucky as you. No one worth their marbles is gonna take a chance on hiring me if they find out I am a convict."

  JJ frowned.

  "But we took a chance on you," she said softly.

  Milena swore softly and faced JJ. She looked horrified.

  "Oh gosh! I am so sorry. I didn't mean you guys. I really stuck my foot in my mouth."

  "Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to remind you that you are worth something. There are kind hearted people around and someone will want to take a chance on you. I know Jenna is working hard for women and men like us. She came through for me and she will come through for you too.”

  JJ gazed at the clock on the dash. It was getting late.

  "Oops, time to start back," JJ stated.

  “Bummer. It is so pretty here."

  "I guess you are as addicted to nature as I am."

  Milena laughed.

  "Now that's one kind of addiction that's good for your health."

  As JJ angled the plane back around, she dropped even lower so they could get a better look at the sheer cliffs on some of the islands and at the sparkling sandy beaches.

  Her instructor, Kaylee, had brought her here last year and JJ had remembered Milena once mentioning how much she loved islands. Her friend had gotten an eyeful today.

  They fell silent again for a long time. The picturesque view was relaxing and quite mesmerizing.

  "Do you really think I will get out of prison permanently?" Milena suddenly asked. "I mean I have more than ten years left on my sentence. Why would they let me out early?"

  "Prisons are overcrowded. They are looking for ways to release people. Programs are available. Besides, they wouldn't let you out temporarily if they didn't have some amount of trust in you to come back, right? Besides, you are not violent. You aren’t a threat to others. You’re clean of drugs. Consider it as a test."

  "I guess," she whispered.

  Man, Milena’s confidence had taken a pounding since their prison time together. They fell silent again as the giant lake disappeared behind them. The low rumble of the engine relaxed JJ and she flew them low so they could catch glimpses of the waterfalls and rapids along the meandering Nipigon river as it wove its way through the forest. After awhile she veered away from the river and headed east to head back toward the ranch property.

  It would be another half an hour before they reached the lake with the newly built cabin and JJ was glad when Milena suggested they have lunch. She hadn’t realized she was hungry but yeah, she suddenly was famished.

  Milena poured hot coffee and while they drank, they also ate the roast beef sandwiches that Dan had packed for them this morning. They chatted about the animals that lived in the forest and when Milena asked her about the head-stomping moose and man-eating beavers that Daegen had mentioned, JJ laughed.

  She laughed so hard, she could barely see out the window from the tears that blurred her vision.

  “Why in the world would he say those things if it wasn’t true?” Milena asked with a frown after JJ calmed enough to tell her that Daegen had been teasing her.

  JJ shook her head and bit her lip to keep from laughing some more.

  “Was he making fun of me?”

  “Probably thought you were a city girl. Perhaps he just has a twisted sense of humor? Or maybe he was trying to scare you into not wandering into the woods alone again? Hmm, maybe I should have done that. Obviously my approach didn’t work with you. That bear could have killed you.”

  Guilt flashed in Milena’s eyes. “Sorry, but I was seriously going bat-shit stir crazy with no one to talk to.”

  “I bake when I have no company. Or I tend to the garden. Or I go swimming in the lake. Lots of things to do.”

  “What about winter? Are the men gone for long periods of time in the winter?”

  “They usually come home for supper. Cattle still have to be fed out in the meadows, so in the winter we fly out the food for them and drop the bales and other food out of the plane as we fly over. But before we got the plane, I was alone all the time my first winter because they took the hay o
ut on snowmobiles with trailers. It was crazy rough work. Much easier and so fast with a plane.”

  “Wow, what would they do without you, JJ?” Milena mused. She wiped some mustard off her mouth with a napkin.

  “They managed before I came along. But I’m glad I can help. It makes me feel useful.”

  “I hear you. Now that I’ve had a taste of freedom, I think maybe my next time on the outside I’ll appreciate my alone time.” Milena replied.

  JJ grinned. Maybe a lesson had been learned for her old friend?

  “That was an awfully good sandwich. Want desert? Dan packed us some of those blueberry muffins we made last night,” Milena said.

  JJ’s mouth watered.

  “Sure! And another cup of coffee, if you please.”

  Milena poured her another cup, dropped in some sugar cubes and a couple of teaspoons of powdered coffee whitener and stirred. JJ accepted the steaming drink and set it into her cup holder and then eagerly took the offered blueberry muffin. They nibbled on dessert and renewed their conversation about the animals who lived in the forest below.

  “Okay, so here’s the scoop on the animal life. We have wolves, coyotes, deer and black bears. Daegen was right about you need to make noise so they can run away. I should have told you but well, I thought you wouldn’t go into the woods. Anyways, moose. Yes, moose can be dangerous. They have long legs that can swivel and hit you if you get too close and you scare them. Some moose are pretty territorial and have been known to attack humans. The same goes with bears. Beavers can attack you too if they have their babies around.”

  “Gosh, it all sounds dangerous.”

  “The trick is to make noise. Hit a stick against a tree, blow a whistle once in a while or just sing. As long as they know you’re around, chances are they’ll stay out of the way.”

  “Sounds easy enough.”

  “Do we have any more of those muffins?” JJ asked with a chuckle. She still couldn’t believe how mean Daegen could be to poor Milena. But she was sure he had his reasons.

  Milena laughed. “The muffins are good, aren’t they?”

  “Yes, we have four more. Want another one?”

  JJ was just about to say yes, when a blinking red warning light on the dashboard caught her attention.

  She tensed and she gazed at the oil gauge. The oil was low. Too low.

  What in the world?

  She had done a safety check just before leaving this morning. The oil had been almost full. A whisper of smoke drifted out of the engine area.

  Shit! A leak?

  Panic snapped through JJ, but she forced herself to try and think. Her mind remained a stubborn blank. Her anxiety mounted.

  Low oil. Smoke.

  They were in trouble.

  "JJ? Do you want another muffin?” Milena asked.

  “Milena. I don't want you to panic, but I've got to make an emergency call."

  Milena gasped and looked around the cockpit.

  "What? What’s wrong?"

  JJ ignored her and reached for the radio. It took her longer than usual to get a connection and when she managed to hail traffic control and relayed her coordinates stating she had engine trouble and that she needed help, the answering connection crackled. She thought she heard someone acknowledge what she’d said, but she couldn't be sure.

  The engine sputtered. The smoke grew denser.

  “Oh my God! JJ! There’s smoke!” Milena shouted and pointed out the front window.

  “I know. We’ll be okay.”

  Yeah, right.

  She could take the plane higher and get above the surrounding hills to get a better connection and send out another distress call, but instincts told her it was best to land right away.

  "JJ, are we going to crash?"

  JJ's panic rose. She fought it off.

  "Not if I can help it. I did not come this far to have it all taken away from me."

  "Can I do something to help?"

  JJ gazed over at her friend.

  “Get into the position I showed you before we took flight. Do you remember my emergency instructions?"

  Milena jerkily nodded. Fear brightened her eyes.

  She snapped on her seat belt, bent forward and dipped hear down between her knees.

  "Good. Stay there."

  JJ strapped on her seat belt, making sure it was tucked safely beneath her baby bump.

  Don't worry, sweetheart, she silently whispered to her baby. We will get through this. We have to.

  Until just a few moments ago, she thought her plane was her best friend, but now she felt betrayed.

  The plane shuddered. Instinct told her the plane was going to stall.

  She wondered if she should pray? Like she did when Brady had fallen ill. Would God listen to her again? Would he think she was greedy asking for his help again? Just thinking about how Brady had gotten better, renewed her faith that everything was going to work out okay. Suddenly all her panic vanished. She began to calm. If not a lake, then a meadow. There had to be a meadow somewhere.

  There has to be something.

  "Brace yourself, Milena. I'm taking it down," JJ replied.

  "Oh my God! Where can we land? There’s only trees down there!" Milena cried. Thankfully she remained in her position.

  "I just need to find a lake or a meadow," JJ said with a coolness that she should not be feeling under the circumstances. Was she in shock? The baby picked that moment to punch her tummy.

  Sorry for the stress, kid. She resisted the urge to smooth her hand over her belly and soothe her baby.

  "Can we turn back? Land in Nipigon Lake?"

  “No, it’s more than an hour back now. Too far. No time.”

  The baby kicked again. Harder this time, as if knowing they were in a dire situation.

  The engine sputtered. Then stalled.

  Oh, damn!

  Hunger and weariness tugged at Rafe as he brought the tractor into the yard. He’d been haying all day in the meadows closest to the ranch and he couldn’t wait to feast his eyes on JJ, have a good meal, talk with everyone about what got done and then just relax. Maybe play cards with Milena. She was a pretty good card player. He figured one got to be good at card games with being locked behind bars for so many years.

  His thoughts disintegrated the instant he spied Brady and Dan rush out of the ranch house. As they hurried toward him, both men were frantically waving their arms at him to stop right then and there. Alarm raced through him and when he switched off the tractor he was already praying like crazy that they weren’t freaking out because of something happening to JJ and the baby.

  “Did JJ tell you where she and Milena were going today?” Brady asked in a too-loud voice that spelled trouble. When he was upset, he was impatient. When he was upset about anything to do with JJ, he was brash.

  “No. I haven’t seen her since after breakfast. She mentioned last night she was taking the morning and afternoon off and taking Milena up with the plane, remember? They were heading out to the new shelter and then some sightseeing around the perimeter of the land and maybe taking a dash over to show Milena Lake Nipigon but not necessarily in that order. I don’t remember her saying of going anywhere else. She said they would be back to get supper on for us. Why?”

  “The girls are missing. No note. No plane. No supper. No JJ. Where the fuck are they?” Brady hissed as he stared in the direction of the dock. Rafe followed his gaze. There was no white plane moored there.

  Damn.

  “She would be humming over a pot of something about now. You know how she loves to stick to her routine,” Dan said.

  “Where the hell is she?” Brady growled. He shoved his hands through his hair in obvious frustration. If Rafe didn’t know any better, he would think Brady was about to lose it and sink into a state of panic.

  Brady continued, his words coming out in a rush, just like a confession.

  “I’ve had a really bad feeling for a long
time about her flying. Even had nightmares. Like a premonition or something. I just knew something like this was going to happen. I just fucking knew it.”

  “Okay, okay, maybe she sent out a distress call. Have you checked with the authorities?” Rafe asked as he joined Dan and Brady who were headed back to the ranch house.

  Both men said no because they had just gotten back themselves.

  “So exactly how long has JJ been missing?” Dan asked as they stepped into the building.

  No one answered.

  Rafe tried to keep calm, but all kinds of bad scenarios were rolling around in his head. There should be the smells of a succulent supper drifting through the air. Instead, there was just the familiar scent of the natural pine they’d used to make their furniture.

  “That fucking radio of hers doesn’t work that great, remember? Kailey mentioned it should be fixed when we bought the plane off her,” Brady huffed as he got out the address book, whipped it open and started pressing numbers on the phone.

  “I believe she did that the first time she went into Thunder Bay when she started flying solo. I remember seeing the repair bill on the desk last fall,” Dan said.

  Brady nodded. “Okay, yes, I remember now. You’re right.”

  Then he began speaking in the phone to someone.

  Rafe’s gaze flew to Dan. He was biting his bottom lip and staring at Brady. Rafe drew his attention to study Brady’s face too, searching for any indication of good or bad news.

  It took fifteen minutes of run around calls to different departments before Brady got an answer. His face had paled significantly and Rafe braced himself for the bad news.

  “Yes, a distress call did come in. Co-ordinates were given but the pilot stated an engine problem and they weren’t sure the entire message was delivered. A rescue plane was sent to the area and have been unable to locate any plane…or any debris. They are calling off the search due the light failing. They plan on resuming tomorrow whenever the weather clears. They said there is another storm coming tonight.” Brady spoke in the calmest voice Rafe had ever heard from him.

  Debris as in plane crash. Calling off the search as in the girls are stuck out there in the forest or wherever they might be for the night. This late in August it got cold at night. JJ would need to keep herself warm…because of the baby.