Burn Me Anthology

by Shantel Tessier

  Chapter 5

  Brennan

  “Thanks for understanding, Cap.”

  He slaps me on the back. “You got it, Hall. How’s she doing?”

  “I think she’s adjusting well. She’s been through a lot and has been opening up to me. I’m hoping to get her back on her feet so she can feel good again.”

  “Damn. That night still fucks with my head. A few of the families, whose daughters weren’t in the fire, are throwing a fundraiser to help raise money.”

  “That’s great.” I head to my desk and grab a report I need to finalize. “If you need me for anything, let me know.”

  “Got it, Hall. Now, go,”

  The guys didn’t act the way I thought they would and didn’t give me too much shit for helping her.

  When I get home, with Greg following behind me, Amber and Devan are sitting on the couch, watching some girly crap show.

  “How’d today go?” I ask, heading into the kitchen to grab a beer for Greg and me.

  Amber hands me a stack of receipts and I smile without looking at any of them, because I don’t care how much they spent. Helping Devan out is why I’m doing this. She’s lost too much, so if I can help her get back on her feet and give her some confidence then that’s what I’ll do.

  “Damn, brother. They went all out today.” He laughs and takes a swig of his beer and sets it down on the coffee table. “Hi, Devan. I’m Greg. I don’t know if you remember me.”

  “I do. Thank you for being there. It means a lot to me and it’s nice to officially meet you.”

  “Likewise. So, are you adjusting pretty well to living with this loser?”

  Her laugh fills the room, and it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve heard. Shit, I want her to laugh more. The light and energy around her is enticing. She’s happy. And it’s because of what I’m doing for her.

  “Brennan’s really sweet. I’m so thankful for him.”

  “Aw,” Greg says and turns to me. “You’re turning into a softie, man. Will you be my hero too?”

  “Shut the hell up.”

  “Did you get yourself something?” I turn and ask Amber.

  She holds up a new purse and brings it down to hug against her body. “Thanks, big brother.”

  “Anytime.” I look over to Devan and notice the nice red summer dress she has on. My eyes roam down her legs and I notice she has nail polish on her toes. When I roam my eyes back over her legs, I see her nails are done and her hair is a little shorter, but still long, and she has makeup on. “You look really great, Devan. Are you happy with everything?”

  “I am. Thank you, Brennan.” She gets up from the couch and comes over to give me a hug. “I can’t thank you enough,” she whispers.

  The soft smell makes my body stir. I love feeling her against me. She fits perfectly. My chin rests on top of her head, and we stand this way for a little bit until Amber clears her throat and gives us a smile.

  “Okay, kids. I’m heading out. Devan, tomorrow, right?”

  “Yeah.” There’s excitement in her voice and I’m curious to know what’s going on. Does Amber have something planned for her?

  “What’s tomorrow?”

  Amber claps her hands. “Devan’s going to assist me during the photo shoots I have. I’m paying her two hundred for the whole day.”

  “I told her she didn’t have to. I want to help her out.”

  She puts her hand up to Devan, indicating for her to stop talking. “And if she does well tomorrow, then I’m keeping her as my assistant.”

  Amber’s a successful photographer. She’s sought out by everyone and her prices reflect the quality of her work. She’s photographed engagements, weddings, births of children, parties, and she’s getting into boudoir photos too.

  “You’ll have fun tomorrow, Devan,” I reassure her, then turn to Amber. “What kind of shoots do you have tomorrow?”

  “One engagement and three boudoirs.”

  Devan blushes. “So, I’ll have to…”

  “Don’t worry,” Amber says, “I’ll walk you through the first one. It’s with my best friend, Patricia, and she’s totally cool. Then the next two are first-time clients, but don’t let that stress you out. We’ll go over everything I need you to do tomorrow.”

  “Okay. As long as you’re sure.”

  “I’m positive.”

  Amber hugs us before leaving. Since I don’t want to cook or have Devan whip something up, I order a shit-ton of food from pizza to sushi. I have no idea what this girl likes to eat.

  “I’m going to change so I’ll be back.”

  I nod. “Okay. The food I ordered should be here soon.”

  “Sounds good.” Devan stands beside me and smiles before turning away to walk down the hall, disappearing into her room.

  Her room.

  “You staying for dinner?”

  “Of course, sweetheart. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Greg gets up from the couch, grabs his beer, and settles on the barstool. He gives me a look, and I give him one back, letting him know nothing’s going on and there’s no need to talk about it—because there’s nothing going on.

  “You know, it’s nice you’re helping her out. She’s a sweet girl. You holding up okay?”

  “Yeah, for the most part. She’s adjusting, I think, and with Amber around it’s helping her.”

  “Good. You ah…” He pauses and leans back to make sure Devan’s not in earshot of our conversation. “You know she’s not Iris, right?”

  I stop what I’m doing and focus on my breathing. My body goes still. Hearing her name pulls at every feeling I have. Guilt. Anger. Sadness. Broken.

  Iris.

  Iris.

  Iris.

  Not a day goes by I don’t think about her. Sometimes it feels like she’s still here, and when my phone vibrates, I’ll look at it and see her text message. When I’m missing her, I listen to the last voice message she left for me and drown in her voice—drown deeper into my own endless circle of regret.

  “I know Devan’s not Iris. Don’t get the two twisted, and leave Iris out of this.” I barely get the words out. Even saying her name makes everything in me go still.

  It’s been two years, and every Sunday I see her. I read to her, and update her on my life. She doesn’t respond. The doctors and nurses reassure me she can hear me and loves when I visit. I’m not sure how true that is, but I still talk to her. I still visit her. After a few hours pass, I kiss her, and let her know I’ll be back. I’ll always go back to her.

  Always.

  “Have you talked to her parents?”

  I shrug. “Here and there. We’re meeting in a few weeks. They want to know if there’s anything further the doctors can do to help.”

  “I’m here for you, man.”

  “Thanks, brother.”

  We drop the topic and Greg updates me on his daughter, Elle, and the mess of a divorce he’s going through. It’s messed up when a parent plays their child as a pawn to get what they want. The hearing for custody is coming up, and I know if the judge goes in favor of shared custody, it’ll kill Greg.

  “Oh, don’t forget, Elle’s ballet recital is next week. You’re coming, right?”

  “Yep. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Will it be okay to bring Devan?”

  “Of course, man. Elle wants everyone there. Is Amber coming?”

  This gets my attention. I know Amber’s had a crush on Greg since we were kids, but I haven’t brought it up with her or Greg. Honestly, I don’t want to know if anything’s ever happened between them or if he’s feeling the same way. Right now, it’s not the best time for Greg to be involved with anyone. As much as it sucks, I want my sister to be happy, just not sure if I want her to be happy with my best friend.

  “Ah, yeah. I’m pretty sure. I think she mentioned she was going to take pictures.”

  “Man, that’ll be great. I’m glad.” He sits back in the chair and smiles. Motherfucker.

  Before I can say anyt
hing, Devan comes out, wearing yoga pants and a sweater. Her long hair’s up in a messy bun and her face is makeup free. Damn, she’s beautiful. So beautiful.

  “You hungry, girl?” Greg asks.

  “So hungry. Amber and I had sushi for lunch. I didn’t realize how good it was! At first, I got really freaked out, but she had me try it and it’s not bad at all.”

  “Sushi, huh?” Greg points his beer in my direction. “That guy loves sushi. He took a class and learned how to make it. Didn’t ya, buddy?”

  “Yep.”

  “Oh, wow. Do you think we can make some, Brennan?”

  I turn to look at Devan and see her smiling, with her hands resting on her lap and those bright eyes waiting so patiently for an answer. My God, this girl’s getting to me.

  “Whatever you want, Devan.” I’ll give her whatever she wants and make sure she’s always happy and satisfied.

  Chapter 6

  Devan

  After dinner, Brennan steps outside to take a phone call and Greg’s helping me clean up.

  “So you’re good with everything?”

  “Yeah.” I smile and dry the plate in my hand. “Everything seems to be going okay. I’m sad that I’ve lost my sisters, and with their services coming up, I don’t know, I mean it’s going to hit me hard. The thing that’s pulling me through is remembering I survived, and I survived for a reason.”

  “Exactly.” Greg grabs a pen and writes something down before sliding the piece of paper over to me. “I’m sure you don’t have a phone yet, but when you do, or hey, even use the landline here. Call me if you need anything.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  “Not a problem.”

  While cleaning the kitchen, Greg tells me about how he became a firefighter and some stories about him and Brennan. I love listening to him talk about Brennan, saying he’s very brave and will do anything to save others.

  “He’s a good guy. One of the best. I don’t trust many people to have my back, but I trust him. You’re in good hands.”

  “Thank you. I feel the same way.”

  Brennan comes back and grabs another beer. He settles on the chair and takes a drink of his beer before setting it on the counter.

  “You good, man?”

  Brennan doesn’t respond and stays stoic on the chair. I look at Greg then to Brennan, and I’m worried. Whatever conversation he had is now affecting him.

  “Brennan?” I call out for him. “Talk to us.”

  He shakes his head, snapping out of whatever funk he’s in, and says, “I’m good. No worries.”

  I don’t believe him.

  Greg leaves a little bit later, and after we’re done watching television, I wonder if I should spend tonight in the guestroom.

  “Stop thinking.”

  “What?”

  “Stop thinking,” Brennan repeats. “You can stay in my room, sleep in my bed, and be next to me for as long as you need. I told you—I’m here for you—and I mean it. I. Am. Here. For. You.”

  “Okay.” I’m not able to say anything else, so I follow him into the bedroom and put on one of his shirts to sleep in. I lift the covers from his bed and climb in while watching him do the same. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  The question slips from my lips and his body tenses. Brennan doesn’t answer. Instead he sighs, places his head against the headboard and turns to look at me. “Not really. It has nothing to do with you. Just something from my past. I will let you know now, every Sunday I’ll be gone for a few hours. You can hang out with Amber if you want or hang around the house. This is something I’ve been doing and I can’t change my plans.”

  “I get it and I don’t expect you to do that. Whatever you need to do then you should do it. Don’t let me stand in the way. If you need to talk, I’m a good listener. I want to be here for you the way you are for me.”

  “Thanks, Devan.” He gives me a small smile and reaches out to caress my cheek. I love the feel of his calloused hand on my cheek. It makes me feel warm and safe.

  Safe.

  Safe.

  Safe.

  Brennan’s quiet voice gets my attention. I turn back to face him, and keep my hands under the pillow. I’m not sure if he wants me to comfort him or not. “I made a mistake last year with Iris, and I’m paying the price for it. I can’t go too much into it, and I’m sorry for that. This mistake, fuck, it haunts me. Maybe that’s why I need you here to save you. To protect you. Because I failed to do that before.”

  I can’t help it. I slide closer to him, place my head on his chest, and entwine my fingers with his. We stay in this position for what seems to be forever, then I move and see his gorgeous brown eyes staring at me.

  I finally find the words I want to say to him. “Whatever happened, I know in my heart you did everything you could. You’re a wonderful person, Brennan Hall, and you’re here for a reason. Even though you think you’re paying for this mistake, what I think is, once you forgive yourself, then you’ll see you aren’t paying for this mistake. You’re simply seeing whoever it is you’re seeing. You’re spending time with Iris and that’s so sweet. Is Iris the woman in the picture in your living room?” He nods. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Thank you.”

  The room’s silent again, and I easily find sleep and feel like I can live this way forever.

  With Brennan.

  Chapter 7

  Brennan

  Three weeks pass and Devan seems to be adjusting well at my place. Amber comes over for dinner and we enjoy Devan’s cooking. Fuck, this girl can cook. After dinner, when Amber goes home, we’ll watch TV for a little bit before going to bed. It’s our nightly routine when I’m home. On the nights I’m not, Amber comes over to spend the night.

  Devan sleeps with me when I’m home. She doesn’t like to be alone and I like her with me. Her sweet innocence is a distraction and is causing me pain in my cock. Each time I have a thought of her underneath me, I push it to the back of my mind.

  Dinner tonight is a pot roast with vegetables and brown rice. The smell fills my home and I’m ready to eat.

  “Would you like a glass of wine?”

  “I’m not twenty-one,” she whispers.

  “You’ll be okay.” I wink, pouring her a glass of red wine, along with my own. “Did you have fun with Amber today?”

  “Yeah. She only had one shoot. The girl was really pretty, and she was doing the shoot for her fiancé as a gift for his birthday.”

  “Amber loves what she does.”

  “She’s so talented.”

  I nod, and pass her a glass of wine and pop my hip against the counter. “What’s on your mind? You’ve been quiet since you got home.”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’ve been doing some thinking.”

  “What are you thinking about?” I curiously ask her.

  “I’d like to visit my sister’s families. Maybe spend time with them and tell stories of our times together. I’d like to give them more memories. Even though they ran away, they never spoke negatively about their families.”

  I think about what I want to ask her and hope it doesn’t upset her further. “If they didn’t, and please don’t be offended, then why did they run away?”

  “Silly things. They all had good families and strong backgrounds. Yet, they felt alone and didn’t know their place.” Devan pauses, and plays with her wine glass. “We were a family. One for all and all for one forever. That was our motto. Sometimes I wonder how we survived as long as we did. We went through a lot of candles.” She smiles and checks dinner. “I miss them.”

  “I know you do, Devan.”

  We remain quiet as I help her bring the food to the table and pull out the chair for her. She watches me and starts eating when I do. It’s something I’ve noticed about her.

  “Devan.”

  “Yes?”

  “I appreciate you cooking every night. Your food is beyond good. I know you’re being polite, and I love that about you, but you don’t need to
wait for me to eat so you can start. Please. It’s okay.”

  “Oh. Back at my foster home, we had to wait until my foster father was sitting down and eating before we could. One night he was playing cards with his friends and dinner was ready, but he didn’t come eat. Since we all knew what would happen if we ate without him, my foster siblings and I sat at the table and waited two hours. We didn’t eat that night.”

  I need to find this fucking asshole and rip his damn head off. What kind of man does that shit to kids?

  “I’m sorry you went through that.” I keep my tone calm so I don’t scare her. “You don’t have to do that. I promise you, I’ll never hurt you.”

  “I know.”

  It should bother me she trusts me too well. Too easily. I want nothing but to keep her safe and protect her. The way she’s looking at me, her blue eyes wide and doe-like; it’s taking everything in me to not push my lips onto hers.

  I clear the table when we’re done eating and watch how comfortable she is in my kitchen. When she bends over to get a container, my eyes lock on her ass. Fuck. That ass. My imagination runs wild, and I’m thinking about how it’ll feel to sink myself deep inside her while gripping her hips, and hearing her moan my name. I’ll flip her on her back, lift that skimpy shirt off, and flick my tongue over her sensitive nipples, taking them in my mouth, and devouring each one. I’ll be gentle with her and take it slow. That sweet voice will say my name and it’ll get me off.

  I swallow roughly. “Hey, why don’t you pick out something for us to watch tonight?”

  Devan stands up and turns to me. “Sure. Are you in the mood for anything in particular?”

  “Nope. Whatever you want is fine with me.”

  I grab a box of popcorn from the cabinet and pop one into the microwave before going back and loading the dishwasher. The ding alerts me and I grab the bag, opening it, and pouring the contents into a bowl. I join Devan on the couch and she presses play. The previews don’t get my attention and I reach over for my bottle of beer when the movie starts and I read the title.

  “Ah, you sure you want to watch this movie?”