Burn Me Anthology

by Shantel Tessier

  “Sorry about our disappointing date night.”

  “Stop it. This is perfect, Micah.” Her smile grew wider when she pulled out a small black envelope.

  Uneasiness stirred inside me. I had a bad feeling about the note. There was a reason why Vincent had hid it under the darkest petals, and all I wanted to do was to snag it out of her hands. I almost did. But then, I figured she’d think I was acting abnormally suspicious, so I tried to rest my faith on the fact that he wouldn’t pull something so cruel on me.

  I was wrong, so fucking wrong.

  A loud laughter busted out of her and when she was finally done giggling at my ass she handed me the note.

  Don’t go all soft on him, they’re from me.

  Love ya, Sis.

  Vince xx

  “Hey, Lambert?” Vincent called out from the backdoor. I turned around and spotted my jackass of a best friend leaning on the gray metal door, grinning like he just won the goddamn lottery. “You owe me eighty-five bucks.”

  I flipped him off, amused, and right before he disappeared I spotted him giving me a thumb’s up.

  “So?” I kissed the top of my girl’s head as we walked towards the plaid blanket she had laid out on the grass. “What did you bring us? I’m starving.”

  Chapter 3

  Aubrey

  Present

  “So I’ve been thinking,” Micah coughed out breaking the comfortable silence. I had no idea how long my head had been resting on him, he lost me the moment he started to thread his gifted fingers through my scalp and hair. We’d been outside for a long time. The sun had set and the sky had gone dark, we could barely see the stars through the clouds hovering over our heads. And to be honest I was baffled that none of Micah’s co-workers had come out to warn us he’d exceeded his hourly lunch-break; especially brother. “How about we go see your parents this weekend?”

  My head shot up from off his lap and I frowned at him. “What? Why––no!”

  “Why not?” he responded, chortling at my mortified outburst. “I have the whole weekend off.”

  “Exactly. Why would I want to waste our entire weekend alone and spend it with my parents?”

  “Paying them a visit could be fun, Aubrey.”

  “Really? Fun for whom? You?” I pouted. “Forget it, Lambert. It’s not gonna happen. Last time we went to my parents together, you spent the entire day working on your Ducati with my dad and I got stuck making donuts with my mom. Besides, didn’t you just go there four days ago?”

  “Those donuts were delicious and that was more than a week and a half ago. What do you want me to say Aub? Your father needed help with something, I wasn’t going to say no.”

  It was the same vague answer he had given me the day he told me he needed to go see him. I tried to question my brother about it, but he legitimately had no clue what I was talking about. Truth be told, even though I was curious to know why he went, I liked the fact that my boyfriend and my father had their little secret. Micah getting along so well with my parents was more than I could ever ask for.

  Unlike Vince and me, he came from a broken family. He didn’t have any siblings, his mother left when he was a teen and his father was a mean drunk. Ethan, the man who tended at The Devil’s Gate the night I met Micah for the first time, took him under his wing when he was about fourteen years old. He acted like a dad the way his own father never did. Even though we had been dating for more than a year, and had been friends for almost three, we never spoke of his past. I was warned we’d never talk about it and had no choice but to respect it. But somewhere hidden behind his piercing blue orbs, my boyfriend held secrets. Painful secrets.

  He gave me a lopsided grin. “Aub, I promise when we go this weekend, I won’t even set foot inside the garage.”

  Liar, liar.

  Making a tsking sound, I threw my leg over his muscled hard body to straddle him. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Micah Lambert. I know you. The both of you. He’ll find a way to lure you in with another one of his fancy tools, and then you’ll be a goner for the rest of the day.”

  A knowing smile cracked on his flawless face and the reflection of the moon made his grayish blue eyes shine, although, that might also have been the fact that he had a perfect view of my cleavage.

  “You know,” I murmured. Running my fingers across the rough stubble of his jaw and over his perfect full lips, I couldn’t help wishing we were somewhere else. Somewhere he would let his delectable mouth trail on every inch of my body. Somewhere I would let my tongue skim along his abs, and make him moan my name. My adventurous hands crawled underneath his shirt, enjoying the feeling as I explored the ripples of his muscles and caressed the light goosebumps rising on his skin. “I can most definitely think of another way we can spend our weekend, and hint––hint, my plans will involve you stripping me from my clothes.”

  As my hips rolled over his, adding extra pressure where I knew he needed me to be, I leisurely kissed my way down his mouth and jaw. I could feel him growing hard through the thin lace of my underwear and my body lit up like fire. Letting my lips trail on his neck, I breathed down his chest and stomach until I reached the top of his jeans, resting very low on his hips. And just because I could, I unfastened his top button making his body jerk as I licked his skin.

  “Pure evil,” his throat vibrated.

  My grin grew devilish when I met his hungry eyes. “I’m guessing this means I won this conversation?”

  A combined groan and exhale escaped his throat as he looked up at the sky. “Nope.”

  Wait––what?

  “You’re adorable when you pout.” He pulled my face up, and tenderly caressed my lips with his. “But I’m not joking. I promised your dad that we’d go, so we’re going. But, I do have a suggestion.”

  “Hummm…and what could that suggestion possibly be?”

  “Well,” he raised his eyebrows, hopeful. “How about we do both?”

  “Or,” I countered, wrapping my arms around his neck. “We skip the visit, tell my parents I’m sick, and I self-medicate with your body inside mine.”

  He growled. “You’re fucking killing me tonight, Aubrey, you know that right?”

  “That’s ‘cause you know how to make me feel good, Lambert.”

  “And that has got to be the cheesiest and scariest shit that’s ever come out of your mouth, Bankes,” he roared. “And might I add; not sexy at all.”

  I shrugged with a crooked grin. “It was worth a shot.”

  With a teasing laugh, he pulled me in and started kissing my lips, jaw, and neck. His warm breath caused shivers to run up and down my spine. “Trust me, Aubrey,” he murmured in my ear. “I would love nothing more than to spend an entire weekend buried in between your thighs, but I promised your father I’d take you home, so I’m taking you home. He told me he wanted to hear your answer in person, so I have no choice.”

  My eyebrows knitted together as I pulled back confused. “My answer for what?”

  He sat up from off the ground and placed me in between his parted legs so that I could face him. I studied his silence, waiting for him to say something. The longer I waited, the more nervous he got. The more nervous he got, the more anxious I felt.

  We could both hear the rustling of the tall reeds beside us ferociously moving from one side to another with the wind. I couldn’t take his quietness anymore. “Micah?”

  Avoiding my eyes, he grabbed the sweatshirt he had rumpled up and placed on the corner of the blanket earlier when we sat down. I frowned when he wouldn’t meet my gaze, and for some bizarre reason, the air that hit my skin seemed to be getting hotter. Nervous, I hid my bottom lip in between my teeth. His thumb brushed over my worry and when I glanced up, he smiled in the most adoring way.

  ***

  Twenty-one years old

  “FUUUUCCKKK!” Micah shouted, while I did another victory dance.

  Ever since I’d moved back to Saratoga from New York City to finish my master’s degree in teaching at S
CC, I’d been spending a lot more time at my brother’s apartment. And since he and Micah had been roommates for close to a year, that meant I was around my brother’s best friend just as often. Most times, we were at each other’s throats arguing and bickering about anything and everything, earning ourselves eye rolls from Vince. But as the months passed by, his dismissive reactions became frowns. My feelings for Micah had morphed into something more than friendship and Vincent had caught on.

  I was in love with his best friend, and sometimes I felt like the feelings were mutual, but any time we’d get close, he’d pull back. It was beyond frustrating.

  “Dammit,” he grumbled, throwing his remote. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. “That’s like the third time tonight. I’m begging you…please tell me how you do it.”

  I shrugged swallowing a mouthful of my beer. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just very lucky.” It was lie. I always did the same thing, pressed on a combination of controls at the exact moment he thought he was winning and blew his ass up.

  With a knowing grin, he stretched out and grabbed his Corona from off the table. “Like I’m going to believe your giggling ass.”

  “Hey, don’t hate the player, Lambert, hate the game.”

  “Oh I don’t hate the player,” he mumbled against his bottle. “And I definitely love the game.”

  My brows furrowed together as I watched him place his drink back on the table. It was hard to not try and read into his words. Everything he’d been saying all night seemed to have an underlying meaning.

  Flashing me a sexy smirk, Micah took my drink out of my hands and grabbed our remotes. “I want a rematch, Firefly.”

  “Fine. But after this one, I really need to get back to my place and study.”

  “Next time you should just bring your shit here so I can help you.”

  Yes, because studying with you would not be distracting at all…

  About fifteen minutes into the game, I was getting my ass kicked. Every few minutes Micah’s eyes would flicker my way, he’d throw me a teasing comment, or he’d push me with his hand trying to distract me. My team was losing and I was getting frustrated because my mind kept wandering off, focusing on everything but the game. “Can I ask you a question?”

  His lips curled into another one of his breathtaking smiles. “You can ask me anything.”

  “Why do you call me firefly?

  He paused the game, and took the longest time to respond. I watched his face go through a load of different emotions, but the ones that stood out more were a combination of pain and tenderness. “Because I like fireflies.”

  Too simple.

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know.” He stretched out pushing his back against the couch cushion and placed his feet on the table. “That’s kind of like asking someone why they like sex.”

  “What?” I laughed. “That makes no sense. Sex is––”

  “Fun? Enlightening? Euphoric? Magical? Healthy?”

  I snorted.

  “What?” he questioned.

  “Nothing. It’s just that I’m kinda feeling sorry for you right now.”

  “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

  “Because you just described sex as magical and healthy. I mean…who the hell have you been fucking if your first thought about an orgasm is that it’s healthy?”

  “My first thought was fun, but if you think you can do better, then go ahead wise ass.”

  “With pleasure,” I answered smugly. “See, I was going to say sex is desire, hunger, thirst, and lust blended into one fanfucktastic experience. It’s rampant and addictive like a fucking drug. It’s consuming, intense, mind blowing––” I swore I could hear him groan and had to bite my bottom lip to prevent myself from cracking a proud smirk. Sneaking a peek at him I saw his pupils grow wide and his hands tightening into a fist: one huge score for me. “So…back those fascinating bugs with lights up their ass?”

  “Yeah,” he coughed. “Fireflies.”

  “Have you ever caught any?

  “Nope,” he responded. “I’ve never tried, actually.”

  “Why not?

  “Because I don’t believe fireflies are meant to be caught.”

  “When Vince and I were kids, we’d go to our grand-parents’ house during the summer and we’d make a game out of who could catch the most. We’d put’em in a jar, and when we were tired of running around, we’d count them and then release them in the meadow on the other side of their backyard.”

  “So, you didn’t keep them?”

  I shook my head. “Too pretty.”

  “See, that’s my point. If you catch a firefly and keep it locked up in a jar, it will eventually suffocate and die. But if you let them fly free, then the day after, when the sun goes down, they will come back to you and shine through the night.”

  “Fireflies can live in captivity as long as you keep them away from direct sunlight and take care of them.”

  “But just because you can catch them, it doesn’t mean they are meant to be caught or be held captive, Aubrey. One day, one mistake is all it takes.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Fireflies are meant to be free and brighten up darkness. You keep them close, but you admire them from afar.”

  I pondered on his words for a while. I knew they had a double meaning, but I was so sick and tired of him speaking in codes. I needed to figure out a way to make him understand that whatever was going on between us, I wanted more out of it, and I was done skittering around it.

  “What if the firefly wants to be caught? What if the firefly wants to be by your side night and day?”

  “It can’t.”

  “Why not?

  “Because some darkness’s can’t be brightened.”

  “See, that’s where you’re wrong. Fireflies come out and glow even when the weather is at its worst so––.”

  “I’m not talking about the fucking rain, Aubrey. I’m talking about life––my life.”

  Good. Now we’re getting somewhere.

  “And I’m just telling you, that at some point in your life if you want something, you’ll need to reach out and catch it before it flies away.”

  His jaw clenched. “What do you know about what I want?”

  I placed my remote on the table and slowly climbed over his legs to straddle him. I waited for him to push me away. He didn’t. His eyes moved, trailing the length of my body, stopping at my lips, then meeting my gaze. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, his hands lingered down my back and dug into my waist, his fingers gripped my thighs as he pulled me closer to him yearning my proximity. I felt his hot breath on my skin as he exhaled, and his chest moved up and down as all the air he sucked in painfully, breathed its way out.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he croaked.

  “Then don’t.”

  “I’ll never be able to take care of you the way you want me to,” he racked his lips across my skin.

  “I’m not asking you to.” My heart ached as the words quivered out of me.

  “Then I’m begging you, please don’t let me do this.”

  “Mi––”

  “Aub, I’m sorry,” he exhaled achingly. Breaking the connection between us, he made us both stand up. “But I can’t.”

  I wished he had much less self-restraint than I. If he had, I wouldn’t have left with a broken heart and a million unanswered questions.

  ***

  Present

  “Micah?”

  He pulled on my bottom lip and his eyes lowered to his lap. Following his gaze, my next breath caught in my throat. Resting between his fingers was a shimmering white gold ring with one single beautiful diamond.

  “Aubrey Bankes, I love you. You are the most perfect thing that could ever happen to me, and I want to keep you forever. Will you let me take care of you for the rest of your life?”

  I nodded, wordless. Tears ran down my cheeks, and then I kissed him. I kissed him like I wanted to kiss him the day he begged me not to let him hurt me. I kissed
him like the night he took my lips for the first time at Jekyll’s when he decided that he was done fighting against what he desired.

  I kissed him like I was going to kiss him every day for the rest of my life.

  “So now you know why I went to see your dad last weekend,” he grinned breathlessly.

  “Were you nervous?”

  He smiled. “Not as half nervous as I was when I approached your brother.”

  “You asked Vince?”

  “Ask is a strong word…and he kind of figured out something was up after I paid for the third round of drinks at Jekyll’s.”

  “Did he want to throat punch you?” I teased. Knowing my overprotective brother he probably growled a shit load of swear words before telling Micah it was about fucking time.

  “And then some,” he retorted. “He also not so politely advised me that if I were to break your heart, he’d kill me.”

  My heart swelled. Leaning in, I grabbed my fiancé’s face and held his gaze. “I fucking love you, Micah Lambert.”

  He wrapped his arms around me and flipped me over so he could hover over me. He gleamed of joy. “I fucking love you too, Firefly.”

  The fire alarm went off just before his lips touched mine.

  Chapter 4

  Micah

  Present

  Fucking hell! An entire three days without an incident and this has to happen now?

  “Is that disappointment I spot in your eyes?” Aubrey questioned winking.

  “Yes.”

  “Well that’s a first,” she chortled. “Go. I’ll wait for you at my place, dressed in my black garter and corset.”

  “Aubrey,” I growled, but she just smiled back devilishly.

  This better be a false alarm.

  “I will love you forever.” I vowed against her lips. “I promise”

  As usual when it came to hearing the fire alarm, I had a mixture of emotions course through my veins. As much as I loved my job, there was always this gnawing feeling in the back of my head called fear. It crept up on me in a cunning way. Fortunately, my desires of making up for my past mistakes always overcame my anxiety. But as I glimpsed back at my future wife watching me sprint towards the open door, my jitters felt different in a way I couldn’t explain.