Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes

by Denise Grover Swank

  I took the cup and opened the fridge to get creamer. “Where’d you get bacon? I know I didn’t have any bacon.”

  “I had some. I went home and got it and pancake mix, too.”

  “Pancakes?”

  “Have a seat. They’re almost ready. I noticed your kitchen’s pretty bare. Haven’t been to the store in awhile, huh?”

  I sat down. Joe already had plates and silverware on the table. “Well, you know, I’ve been busy. Plus it’s just me.”

  “It's just me at my house and I’m better stocked than you. Plannin’ on taking a trip?”

  “No,” I murmured sipping my coffee.

  Joe brought over the pancakes and bacon then sat down next to me. “So, we need a plan.”

  I choked on my hot coffee, which hurt like the dickens. “A plan?”

  Joe stabbed a couple of pancakes on the stack and dumped them on his plate. He looked up and grinned, like a kid excited about to spend his allowance at the toy store, full of anticipation and glee. “A plan for your list. I checked it over this morning and you still have several things to do.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve kind of given up on my list.”

  Joe stopped, his fork in mid air. “Why?”

  “It’s stupid.” I said with a sigh. “Twenty-four year olds don't go around doin’ stupid things on lists.”

  “Why not?”

  I shrugged again.

  “Well, I’ve been lookin’ forward to it. I hate that I got stuck at work and stood you up last night. I’m really sorry, Rose.” He reached over and picked up my hand, stroking the back with his thumb. When I didn’t respond, he set it back on my lap. “If you like, I can take you there for lunch.”

  “Nah, that’s okay.”

  “I already have ideas for today but I know how much you hate me tellin’ you what to do, so we can do whatever you want.”

  I sighed again, and looked at him. “I think I’d rather just spend the day here. Alone. Thanks, anyway.” I tried to keep the hurt from leaking into my eyes, but the joy dropped out of his as he studied me.

  He was quiet for a moment then took my hand again. “Rose, you have no idea how sorry I am I had to cancel last night. I really wanted to be with you, but we have the entire day today. Let me make it up to you.”

  If I stayed home, I wouldn’t be surprised if Joe watched my every move. But if we went out, I had a chance of getting away from him. I pulled my hand away. “Okay.”

  He looked relieved. “Do you want to hear my plan or do you want to come up with your own?”

  “Yours is fine.” I swirled a piece of pancake on my plate, no longer hungry. Being with Joe hurt more than I thought possible, every word out of his mouth a reminder of his betrayal.

  “You don’t even want to hear it first?” He sounded incredulous. And hurt.

  I grimaced and shook my head, putting my fork down. “I’m not hungry. I’m going to take Muffy out and take a shower.”

  “I already took Muffy out.”

  “What? She was sleepin’ with me when I woke up.”

  “When I got up she must have heard me. We went out, she did her business and then she went back to your bed.”

  So much for my guard dog.

  “Then I’ll just take a shower and get dressed. I’ll clean up the kitchen when I get done,” I said and left Joe in the kitchen.

  I took a long time in the shower and when I came out there was no sign of Joe. He must have gone home to get dressed, but the kitchen was clean and a laptop sat in the chair in the living room.

  For the first time that morning, my spirits lifted.

  I sank to my knees on the floor, turning the open computer to face me. My stomach fluttered, tossing around the bacon and pancakes I’d choked down. The black screen lit up to a bright blue when I pushed the illuminated power button.

  I’d never used a laptop, just my dinosaur computer at work and the one at the library. I moved my index finger on the touchpad, getting used to the feel of it. The screen asked for Joe’s password. I racked my brain, trying to figure out what password Joe would use, which felt like looking for a leprechaun on Thanksgiving Day. In a spirit of hatefulness, I typed in Hilary, stabbing the keys with my fingers. Not it.

  I was so intent on my task I didn't notice Joe until he asked dryly, “Do you need help?”

  I screamed.

  He leaned against the doorway, his face expressionless. “Did I surprise you?”

  I jumped to my feet and instantly regretted it. Talk about looking guilty.

  “I wanted to check the weather forecast. For today.”

  Joe walked over, picked up the television remote and pushed a button. “You have cable now. You can find out on the Weather Channel.” He flipped the stations until a weather map appeared on the screen. “Why were you using my computer? Where’s yours?”

  “I don’t have one.”

  His eyes widened and the hard look turned to confusion. “You don’t have a computer?”

  “No, I mean, yeah. Momma said they were the gateway to hell. She took the brand name Gateway a little too seriously.”

  “So where do you check email, write Word documents, use the Internet?”

  “I go to the library, every Saturday. I spend the afternoon there to get away.”

  “And that’s the only computer you have?”

  “Other than the one at work.”

  He got a strange look which reminded me of Muffy’s face the night I feed her eggs. “I’ve got to use the restroom. I’ll be back in a minute.” He practically sprinted down the hall.

  Guess I pegged that one right.

  When he returned, he was more serious than he was at breakfast. “Okay, let’s go.” He sounded like I was marching him to his execution rather than the other way around.

  “Nobody’s forcing you into this, Joe McAllister.”

  “I said we were gonna have a fun day and we’re gonna do it,” he said, his voice riddled with irritation. If I hadn’t been so aggravated at him I would have laughed.

  “We still have to get my car,” I said, while he locked my side door.

  “Yeah, we will. Later.” He handed me my keys but refused to look at me.

  We got in Joe’s car and took off down the street. “Where are we goin’?”

  “It's a surprise,” he said, his voice gruff and no-nonsense. He reminded me of the night he left me to go to work. Fear percolated in my chest. What if Joe was taking me somewhere to kill me?

  I started to hyperventilate.

  Joe swerved the car to the side of the road. He turned toward me, resting his hand on my head rest. “Are you okay?” He sounded kinder, but it wasn’t enough to settle my fears.

  I sucked in air like a fish on dry land, but my head just got fuzzier. Both of my hands fumbled for the door handle and I struggled to pull the lever. I got the door open and practically fell onto the side of the road.

  “Rose!”

  I scrambled to my feet and stood up, gasping for air, trying to figure out what to do. Joe had already gotten out of the car, walking in my direction.

  I can’t let him get me.I took off running down the sidewalk, away from my house.

  It was a stupid plan, in fact, not a plan at all, just instinct. Run away. Joe had longer legs and was in better shape and he caught me in seconds. I’d like to say it was because my blood was poorly oxygenated from the hyperventilating, but I’d be lying. He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face him.

  “Where are you goin’?” Then he saw my face, the terror and panic. His eyes widened. “Oh, my God, you’re scared of me. Why?”

  I took deep breaths trying to get my wits about me because obviously my reactions so far hadn’t worked out so well.

  Joe started to pull me into a hug, but I stiffened and he let me go, dropping his hands to his sides. “Don’t run off, okay?”

  I nodded, but silently added until I need to.

  “Why are you scared of me? What did I do?”

/>   I couldn't very well tell him the truth. “You were upset that I used your computer.” I mentally congratulated myself for thinking so quickly. Maybe my brain worked better with more oxygen.

  Joe heaved a deep breath and put his hands on his hips. “Rose, I just wondered why you were using mine. I didn't realize you didn’t have one. I have some work stuff on there that I’m kind of private about.”

  “Mechanic stuff?” The disbelief was undeniable. So much for thinking.

  His face started to harden, but he caught himself. “You’d be surprised. Most people don't realize new cars are run by computers.”

  I had to admit he was good. I almost believed him.

  “Rose, we’ve fought before and you’ve never been afraid of me. Why are you scared of me now?”

  I didn’t know what to say. My eyes filled with tears, only maybe I could use it to my advantage. “I’m sorry. First Momma was killed, then Sloan and the break-ins. It’s all too much. I’m sorry.”

  “Do you think I’d hurt you?”

  I thought for a millisecond before I answered, “No, of course not.”

  But it was a millisecond too long. He looked more hurt than he had a right to. “We can go home if you want.”

  “No! I’m okay. Just tell me where we’re goin’.” I still hoped to get away and it would be easier to lose him if we were around other people. “I can’t take any more surprises right now.”

  “The park first, to fly a kite.”

  “Really?” His response surprised me.

  “Yeah, I bought one a few days ago. I also planned to dance with you but you already did that one.”

  I gave him a hesitant smile.

  “I was gonna offer to help you with number thirteen but after what just happened, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

  “Number thirteen?”

  “Get a boyfriend.” He sounded embarrassed.

  Regret and sadness for what my life could have been washed through me as I faced the reality of what it was. People died all the time, every day. What did one more insignificant person matter?

  What was the point of this stupid list?

  When we got to the park, Joe told me he’d hold the kite and I was supposed to run with it. It took several attempts until the kite became skybound. Joe ran over to me and fed line until it flew higher and higher. He stood next to me but our magic had disappeared, replaced with fear and wariness. Joe sensed it too and asked me if I was ready to go.

  We walked to the car, side by side but a million miles apart, and I saw a family setting up a picnic. A mother and father with two small children. The father tossed a baseball to his son and the daughter sat on blanket playing with a doll. I watched with sadness and envy.

  “Why does that make you so sad?” Joe asked after he put the kite in the trunk.

  “Because it’s what I’ve always wanted, but I’ll never have.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  I looked at him, my face reflecting my emotions. Empty. “Let’s not pretend anymore, okay?” I moved to open the passenger door.

  Joe shut the door and backed me up to the car. “You’re right, let’s not pretend anymore.” He put both arms on either side of me, blocking me in, but his face was soft and sad. “Come on, Rose. Why are you afraid of me? I keep telling you that I only want to help you. Please, let me help you. Tell me about Sloan.”

  “I told you everything there is to know about Sloan.”

  He looked up at the sky in frustration then leveled his gaze with mine. “You’re not telling me everything. Why?”

  “I need to go to Walmart.”

  “What?”

  I knew it was out of the blue but I needed a flash drive. I didn't have one to give Daniel Crocker.

  “Okay, but not yet. We still have to work on your list.”

  “I don’t care about my stupid list anymore!” I shouted.

  Joe sighed and dropped his arms. “Well, I do.”

  He drove to the Henryetta airport, which was nothing more than a couple of metal buildings and an airstrip. But I couldn’t help the tiny bit of excitement that lit up my face. Joe noticed but didn’t say a word. He’d made an arrangement with a crop duster to take us up, making it clear we couldn’t cross over the county line. We sat in the rear seat while the pilot prepared for takeoff in the single engine plane. I was nervous. I really wanted to fly, but I wasn’t prepared for the confined space and my claustrophobia threatened to break loose at any minute.

  The pilot taxied to the runway and revved the engine, the wind rushing in the open windows from the spinning propeller. I looked at Joe, whose entire focus was on me, gauging my reaction. I turned away embarrassed, but he sensed my hesitancy and gently placed his hand over mine in my lap. When I didn't shake it off, he rested more weight on it.

  The plane hurtled down the runway, the engine so loud I couldn’t hear myself think. It lifted, ever so slightly and we were off the ground. The wind picked up the wings and we flew higher, over the edge of the runway and the fields. At the end, the plane made a sharp turn, causing Joe to lean into me. The move caught me off guard and my eyes widened, afraid we were going to crash.

  Joe leaned into my ear. “It’s okay. This is normal.”

  I nodded, trying to swallow my fear as the plane straightened and climbed higher, making the cars and houses below look smaller. But the fear had already taken hold and the claustrophobic fright I held at bay was nearly ready to explode.

  Joe squeezed my hand in reassurance. I knew I shouldn’t trust him, but he was all I had at the moment. I squeezed back, trying to slow my breath and calm down, the panic building. Joe put his arm around my shoulders and whispered in my ear. “It’s okay, Rose. I’ve got you.” I turned to look at him. His eyes were so sweet and gentle I couldn’t believe he would ever hurt me. Why would he go to all this trouble if he wanted to kill me?

  He took my stare as encouragement and kissed me. The plane, the fear, the stupid flash drive were all gone and the only thing left was Joe. He pulled away and smiled a smile that looked so genuine I’d bet my life on it, in fact I knew I had. I was literally betting my life on Joe McAllister.

  I was either incredibly smart or incredibly stupid. Either way tomorrow would tell.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  After Joe helped me calm down, I loved the rest of the flight. When we landed, we went back into town to get lunch at Little Italy. Joe didn't ask any more questions about Sloan or hint at a flash drive. We acted like normal people on a normal date.

  I tried to forget about Hilary’s phone call. I kept telling myself there was more evidence that I could trust Joe than against.

  I had no proof that Joe broke into my house. In fact, the way he acted last night seemed to prove otherwise. I had no proof he broke in the second time either. I didn’t even know if he had a set of keys. But what about the gun? And the phone message?

  After lunch, we sat in Joe’s car and he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “The only things left are ride a motorcycle, play in the rain and number thirteen.”

  “And fifteen.”

  “I think you have fifteen covered. Of course, we need to review the Seven Deadly Sins, to see if you’ve covered them.”

  I’d forgotten about the Seven Deadly Sins and fifteen wasn’t covered.

  Joe’s cell phone rang and his smile disappeared when he looked at the number. “I’ve got to take this.” He said then got out of the car.

  I watched his two-minute phone call unfold, wondering who he could be talking to and what could produce such an animated conversation. Joe was clearly upset when he got into the car. “Do you still have to go to Walmart?” he asked, jamming the keys in the ignition.

  “Yeah.” I answered, confused by his abrupt change of attitude.

  “We need to go there now.”

  “Okay.”

  We drove in silence and dread crept back in, a now semi-constant companion. If Joe really wanted the flash drive, he would find it
odd when he saw me buying one. I needed to tell him I didn’t have it.

  “Joe, about Sloan and….”

  “Rose, stop.” He cut me off, his voice harsh. “Don't say another word.”

  “But you…”

  “Not another word.” He said through gritted teeth, gripping the steering wheel so tight I thought it would bend under the pressure.

  Joe pulled into a space near the back of the parking lot. “I’ll wait here.” He looked straight ahead, his mouth in a tight line.

  I started to protest, but changed my mind. It was probably better this way.

  I bought the flash drive in the electronics section and headed out of the store, suddenly uncertain I made the right decision about Joe. I stood outside the entrance doors, people streaming past me on either side. If I wanted to ditch Joe, it was now or never. I had my keys in my purse and I could easily walk the mile to my car at the funeral home. I’d hide somewhere until it was time to meet Daniel. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a win/win situation. If Joe was bad, I needed to ditch him when he least expected it. If he wasn’t, I’d apologize later.

  I walked down the sidewalk in front of the store, away from Joe’s car. I stopped at the corner of the building, preparing to cross the parking lot.

  “Going somewhere?” Joe asked, leaning against the side of the building. He sounded bored, but I knew he was anything but.

  My heart stopped and I twisted the bag in my hands. “Uh…I was looking for you.”

  “You must have really gotten turned around. The car’s back that way.” He looked casual, standing with his back against the brick wall, pointing in the opposite direction with his thumb. But he clenched his jaw and his eyes were cold.

  “What are you doing over here?” I asked, keeping my tone light, as though we had just run into each other by accident.

  “Making sure you don’t get lost.” He pushed away from the wall and took my hand in his, but it wasn’t a friendly hold. He meant it when he said he was making sure I didn’t get lost.

  We walked to the car and drove home, both of us on edge. Joe’s anger simmered under the surface and my anxiety choked all conscious thought. We were almost home when Joe finally spoke up. “Where were you going, Rose?”