So what do I do about it? This day, or any other, really.
“Karma Sartain, you fascinate me,” Barron whispers, tugging the mask back down. “Well done.” His lips curve into a smile. “Go then. Spend your day with Raz. Maybe tomorrow I'll stop by your place and you can go on a little drive with me?”
“I can't decide if that's creepy or charming,” I tell him, smiling because I know that no matter how I work future days out, that Barron is just a sketchbook away. Once he knows that I know his secret, he doesn't try to fight it. He's the easiest of the three boys, that's for sure.
“Consider it both,” he tells me, pausing as Calix moves up beside us, clearly pissed at being left out of the conversation.
“Before you say anything you might regret, just remember that I love you, too.”
Calix's dark eyes widen, and his attention flicks immediately to Barron, judging, calculating.
“All three of us, huh? You're a very interesting young woman, Karma.” Barron laughs and leans back against the lockers, sliding a can of spray paint and a stencil from either pocket on his blazer. He turns around, presses the stencil to the gray metal locker, and then sprays it with black paint.
When he pulls the stencil away, there's a devil's face left behind, in the shape of a mask. The very same shape, in fact, that he's wearing now.
“Walk,” he tells me, and I listen, because I'm not about getting caught and dealing with trouble from the administration today. Calix does the same, his jaw tight, nostrils flared. “All three of us, Lix. What do you have to say about that?”
“This is the most idiotic Devils' Day trick I've ever heard of. You really are a disappointment, Karma.”
My own mouth flattens into a thin line, but he did call me Karma, so there's hope there.
“Don't, Calix. Just don't. That spitefulness, it doesn't fucking suit you.” We stop walking and I glance back, toward the front entrance. “I have to go before the bell rings, but look, if you—”
I pause as Erina appears in the doorway of the makeshift shop, her eyes lighting on me and Calix.
She starts straight toward us as I glance back at him. Barron is still smirking, shaking his head, and chuckling. He's murmuring things under his breath, but I ignore him. We both know the jig is up; he clearly remembers the past timelines more than anyone else.
“If you want to talk later, at the party or something, let's do that. Because I'm done fighting with you, Calix Knight. It's tearing me apart.” I put my hands on his shoulders and lift up to my toes to kiss his cheek. His grits his teeth, but he doesn't stop me.
Erina, on the other hand, grabs my hair as soon as she gets a hold of it.
“Stop telling him lies!” she shouts as I spin around, tearing my hair from her grip. “Don't you dare,” she hisses, eyes wild with fear. It's very clear now that she not only has the video, but that she doesn't want Calix to know that she does.
I mean, if he did, it would ruin her chances of ever getting with him. She must know that.
“Telling me lies about what?” Calix snaps, turning his ireful attention on Erina. “Stop acting insane, Erina. I'm tired of it. First, you stalk my brothers' emails and now this?”
My brothers' emails … My lips part in surprise as I recall the conversation I heard from outside the train car. Calix and Raz were talking about a girl they hated in a much different way than they do me, about her harassing Calix's family. I kinda thought that might be Pearl, after what Calix told me. But no. No, it was clearly Erina.
“Calix, listen to me,” Erina says, taking a step back from me as I hold my hand to my hair, my breath coming in violent pants. She must sense that I'm about to haul off and beat her ass. “Karma has a video of the two of you, from last year's Devils' Day party.:
“What?!” I shriek, loud enough that several students pause and glance our way.
“Hey Karma, hurry the hell up.” It's Raz, stepping into the hall near the front entrance and calling out to me. But he has no idea what's going on right now.
“You have a video?” Calix asks me, narrowing his eyes.
“She was going to post it tonight, to try and get you to, I don't know, acknowledge her or something,” Erina continues as I feel all the blood in my body rush to my head. I can barely hear past the sloshing sound of it, my pulse thundering like crazy.
“That doesn't sound very like the Karma Sartain we know,” Barron suggests, but I don't get to see his or Calix's reaction because my fist is lifting up and moving seemingly of its own accord.
Before I know it, my knuckles are hitting Erina Cheney in the nose, spattering blood across the stone floors beneath our feet. She stumbles back as I stand there panting. I shouldn't have done that; violence begets violence. What the fuck is wrong with me?
If the universe is trying to make me into a better person, I'm fairly certain that I just failed.
“You cunt!” Erina screams, throwing herself at me and knocking me back into the lockers. She tears my mask off, snapping the elastic and yanking on my hair. But if the universe needed me to not fight back in order to get to tomorrow, well … I'll go another day on repeat if it means beating this bitch's ass.
I shove her back with all my strength and she stumbles. This time, it's my turn to push her into the wall, holding her there as she struggles. My adrenaline must really be going though because it's as if she weighs nothing to me right now. Nothing at all.
“How dare you film my first time.” I slam her into the wall again and she grunts. “How dare you make my mothers cry.”
“What?” Erina manages to choke out, but I don't care if she knows what I'm talking about or not. I slam her into the wall a third time.
“But on top of all that, you have the audacity to lie to Calix about it? Get him to blame me? Don't you have any shame at all?”
Erina pushes me and then swings for my face, but I duck, throwing my body into hers and knocking her down to the cement. Her head hits the floor harder than it probably should, but I throw a punch anyway that cracks her in the cheek. Blood pours from her nostrils as she tries groggily to raise her head up from the stone floor.
I might've hit her again, had Raz not appeared and grabbed me around the waist, hauling me up and back.
“No more, Karma,” he says, dragging me down the hallway as a horde of students in macabre and fantastical masks line the hall, watching us hungrily for any drop of blood they can lick from the floor with their gossiping maws. They could very well be the Unseelie court, the dark, ugly fae court that revels in cruelty and misshapen things.
I spit at them as Erina's girlfriends rush forward to help her to her feet.
When I look back at Barron, I see him smiling at me, offering up a little wave as Raz drags me toward the door. Calix, on the other hand, is staring at me like he's seen a ghost.
“She has the video, Calix. Don't let her post it!” I shout, my voice echoing off the stone walls of the school.
Raz shoves me out the door and then grabs my arm, yanking me down to where Luke's waiting inside the Cadillac, April and Sonja already seated inside of it.
“Hurry up before the teachers flock the fuck over here,” Raz growls, encouraging me into the back seat.
I end up sitting squished between him and Sonja which is literally one of the weirdest places I've yet been on this journey.
“What the hell happened back there?” Luke calls out as we take off down the long, dirt and gravel drive toward the highway. “Karma, you're shaking like crazy, and there's blood all over your shirt …”
“Don’t worry; it’s not mine,” I say, which just makes Luke choke and sputter in disbelief. It’d be funny if I weren’t so pissed off. Erina Cheney, a girl whose name I didn’t even know, is the one responsible for the sex tape. That means that night, when I was bare and vulnerable in Calix’s arms, she was watching.
Fuck, that’s creepy as hell.
“Just a girl fight is all,” Raz says with a smirk. I glance his way and find him with his elb
ow propped on the side of the car, chin parked in his fist. His gaze never leaves mine. “Didn't know you had it in you.”
“Yeah, well,” I start, swiping my hands on my skirts to clear away some of the blood. “She has a sex tape of me and Calix. Not only is she planning on posting it tonight, but she tried to blame me for it. She hold him that I was the one with the video.”
“Are you shitting me?!” Luke shouts as Sonja cackles and Raz's mouth turns down in a sharp frown.
“What are you going to do about it?” April asks, glancing over her seat at me, brown braids flying in the wind as the convertible makes a sharp left turn, sending us flying down the highway.
“I think I just did do something about it,” I reply, and Sonja laughs again, head thrown back, bloodred hair billowing like the petals of a blooming flower.
I sit up and lean forward, grabbing Luke's phone from between the seats so I can change the music. I choose an obscure song that I bet not a single person in this car has heard of—“Wasting Away” by The Confession—and I turn it up as loud as it'll go, sitting back down and resting my head against the seat.
With my eyes closed, I just chill out for a while, letting myself get lost in the music as I try to process … well, everything.
Calix and his proposal the other night, Barron's prophetic drawings, Erina's bullshit.
You must really hate me, universe, I think, giving her a mental middle figure. You must really, really hate me.
After the album is over—it's only five songs long, after all—Luke turns down the music.
“Hey, so, where exactly are we going?”
“Let's get some guns and go shooting,” Raz repeats, and I swear to god, I almost reach over and pinch his nipple to get him to shut up. What is his fascination with guns anyway? One of these days, something bad is going to happen if he actually manages to get a hold of them. I don't have any opinion on gun control—for or against—but seriously, Raz does not need weapons during Devils' Day.
“Why don't we get tattoos?” I suggest, lifting my head up. “I mean, it's illegal for anyone under eighteen to do it, but clearly, Raz, you must have some connections?”
“Fuck,” is his response as he blinks confusedly at me. I must really be going off-script today. Even during the day we spent together at my Aunt Donna's, he didn't look at me quite like this. Like he's impressed. “Actually, I do.” Raz smirks, regaining his composure, and then leans forward to look across my lap at Sonja. “You want to call up that hillbilly cousin of yours?” he asks, and Sonja gives him a little sneer and a raised lip in response.
“My cousin in-law, but sure, Rasmus, I'll call him up.”
“Fuck you, Sonja,” Raz responds, but there's no heat to it. He's still looking at me, studying me.
“Is somebody going to tell me what's going on?” April asks, clearly exasperated at this point. “Luke is with Sonja, Karma is … apparently in love with Raz?”
Hearing those words—in love—is making my head ring. I did it today. I told all three boys. Didn't exactly go fantastic for me, but at least I know it can be done, period.
“Sonja and I … we've been sleeping together for about a year,” Luke whispers. “I don't know how Karma knows, but I should've told both of you. A long time ago.”
I flick my attention toward Sonja, but she's checked out of the conversation, searching her phone for this supposed contact of hers.
Luke pulls over into the parking lot of the only supermarket in all of Devil Springs.
“What if, instead of a tattoo, we got some snacks and went to the lake?” she suggests, turning the engine off and then swiveling around in her seat. “Even if I wanted to get a tattoo today, April can't. So how about we rethink our activity choices?”
“She's available, and she'll see us at the shop in an hour,” Sonja announces, turning back to the rest of us, her red-painted lips twisted into a smirk. She flicks her emerald gaze to Luke. “Don't bitch out on us, Lucille. Don't you want to get inked with me?”
“I …” Luke starts, her mouth slightly parted, attention wholly focused on Sonja. Slowly, she turns her brown eyes back to me, and I shrug.
“You only live once,” I say, and then I laugh because, well, that's not exactly true, is it? Luke and I have both died during these ridiculous repeats, haven't we? “Just get something small. It's on Raz anyway.”
“Yeah, sure, it's all on me,” he replies, still watching me with a sinful little smile in place. “But I think your friend has a good idea. Let's load up on supplies and then head out to Diamond Spring.”
“Nobody knows where Diamond Spring is,” I reply with a snort as Raz reaches out and grabs me, pulling me into his lap. Luke makes a strange sound, and April's eyebrows go up, but neither of them says a thing.
“I do,” Raz replies smugly, leaning forward to put his lips too near my ear for comfort. I shiver, but not in a bad way. Well, okay, it depends on context. One might say it was in a very, very bad way. “My dad owns a hunting property out here; it's how he knew about this stupid ass school in the first place. You want me to take you there?”
“Karma …” Luke warns, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of heading to an unknown, remote locale with our bullies. Then again, we're both in love with them, so they can't be all bad, right? We must see something in them worth loving.
“I'd love to see Diamond Spring,” April says, pushing her glasses up her nose. “I read an article about it online. Not only does it contain immense historical importance, but it's supposed to be a place of reflection. Some even say the waters there have magical healing properties.”
“So the hippies say about all the springs around here,” Raz quips, eyes shimmering as he reaches up a hand and cups the side of my face, running his thumb along my lower lip. My own eyes close as I savor his touch, biting down on his thumb gently. Raz shivers and shifts beneath me, like he’s perhaps a bit uncomfortable in his slacks now. “Let's get some beer and shit, stick it in a cooler, and then go get our tats.”
“You know you can't swim with fresh tattoos anyway, right?” Luke reminds us, but I'm already climbing out of the convertible and hopping down to the sun-warmed pavement. It's still wet from this morning's rain, but the sunlight on my skin is hot enough that I think we might be able to get away with an afternoon swim.
“Come on, Luke, live a little,” I say, holding out my hand as the others climb out on April’s side. Luke opens her door with a sigh and takes me up on my offer, letting Sonja and Raz get a little ahead of us. I notice that Raz keeps looking back at me though, like he isn't sure if I'm really here, with him.
“Are you going to tell me how you knew about me and Sonja?” Luke asks, and I smile prettily.
“I'm living in a time loop, Luke. This is day number twenty-one. I learned about you guys over a week ago.”
“Karma, stop it,” Luke chastises, but then she exhales as we enter the store, giving me a cautious side-eye. Isn’t it strange, how sometimes we can tell the truth and still be looked at like a liar? “Still, however you found it, I appreciate you taking it in stride.” She flicks her dark eyes over to Raz. He's standing near the cooler with Sonja, picking out some beer. How they're going to buy it is beyond me; I'm just assuming one or both of them has a fake ID. “Are you going to tell me how long this thing with Raz has been going on?”
“Since … forever ago,” I say with a smile as April moves up to join us. Like I said, she's one of us through and through, but she can always sense when Luke and I need a moment. “Raz and I have been into each other since freshman year. But if you're asking when we decided to scrap our bullshit and actually give into each other, that happened this morning.”
“How?” April asks as Luke stares at me like she's never seen me before in her life, like I'm a total stranger. That’s a good thing; I’d hate to be predictable, especially after everything that’s happened. I’m done with predictability; I want adventure.
“I crashed my car into Calix's, ran into the store whe
re Raz was, and threw my arms around his neck.” I grin as they gape at me, moving around the store to gather snacks for later. I don't hold back either: cupcakes, cookies, chocolate bars, chips, jerky. What does it matter what I eat today? If I don't save Pearl, then I can't go on to see tomorrow. Then again, maybe the stone heart I sent her will help? Just one kind gesture can make a difference.
“You seem … different today,” Luke tells me, helping me carry the food up to the counter.
“Good way or bad way?” I ask, and her lips tilt into a small smile.
“Good way, definitely.” Her eyes flick to Raz's back as he flirts with the cashier in what I assume is an attempt to get her to overlook his obviously fake ID. I’m not jealous; she’s at least a decade older than us, probably more. She does seem to be enjoying his attention though. “Except, I'm not sure how I feel about this. He's so … cruel.”
My brows go up, but it's actually April who intervenes, pointing at Sonja's back as she, too, attempts to put the moves on the poor, confused cashier.
“Pot, kettle, black.” April points to the assholes in front of us and purses her lips. “If you plan on bringing them both to New Orleans with us, Thad is going to lose his shit. He doesn't play well with cruel people.”
New Orleans.
We’ve briefly talked about where the three of us might go after graduation, but we’ve never really pinpointed a locale. That is, until the day I hung out in Luke’s apartment with her and April, the same night I stole Barron’s sketchbook for the first time. That’s when Luke announced New Orleans as our destination and, somehow, April remembers that.
“They're just … sad,” I say softly. “That's all. Just sad.” I step up next to Raz and dump the food on the counter. He glances down at me as Luke does the same on Sonja's other side. His sharp mouth turns into a grin as the employee rings up everything and sends us on our way. “I'm surprised you were able to pull that off,” I admit as we head outside with bags of groceries and boxes full of beer.
“I have my ways,” he tells me as we load everything into the trunk. “I always get what I want.” The way he looks at me when he says that has me shivering. I can't decide if I hate that statement … or find it dangerously attractive.
Devils' Day Party: A High School Bully Romance Page 30