Arnos Hell

by Eamonn Murphy

  “Then why did you jump? The beep wouldn’t make you jump, an old hand like you.”

  “It was the...” Eddie stopped. “Maybe I didn’t hear the beep.”

  “Oh, don’t be silly,” said Nancy. “Are you saying the phones are talking to...?

  She sat bolt upright. Her face convulsed as if she had bitten her tongue. “Hello. Who is this? Hello?”

  “Did you hear the beep?” said Eddie.

  Paula shot him a warning look. “Don’t.”

  Nancy took her headphones off and stood up. “Something is going on.”

  “Something is,” said Bob. “Look at the wallboard.”

  They all looked. The wallboard normally showed incoming calls, and, separately, the number of call handlers, health information advisors and nurses logged in. It was now blank. Nancy looked at it for a second and strode to the supervisors’ pod. It had a white phone with a separate exterior line which was unmonitored and was used for communication between the different areas. She picked up the phone. She put it down.

  “There’s no dialling tone.”

  Bob pressed buttons to make an exterior call on his headset. “I can’t get a dialling tone either.”

  “We’ll sort that out in a minute,” said Nancy. “I’ll just find the number for the duty manager.”

  Bob vaguely knew that there was always a manager on call in case of an emergency at night. He had never heard of the manager being called though. He gave Eddie a questioning look. Eddie shrugged but looked worried.

  In the silence, Bob heard a faint thump from the library. He thought Caroline must have dropped a book.

  Chapter Seven

  Nancy sorted through a file at the Supervisor’s desk, doing her best, Bob could tell, to appear pragmatic, efficient and in control. “Here it is,” she said. “The telephone number for the duty manager. Now all we need is a working telephone”

  “I have my mobile,” said Mandy. She rummaged in her handbag.

  “I have one too but the battery is flat,” said Paula. “And Caroline has one but she’s still in the library.”

  Mandy was still rummaging. Eddie said, “If you girls would restrict yourselves to essentials in those black sacks you carry everywhere it would be easier to find stuff.”

  “Shut up,” said Mandy. “Here it is.” She flipped it open and pressed buttons, frowned. “No signal. I may have to go outside.”

  Eddie waggled his eyebrows like Groucho Marx. “Would you like me to come with you, dear?”

  “Don’t be silly, I’m not a baby.”

  Nancy scribbled the number on a piece of paper, handed it to her. “I put the phone number for Acuma House on there as well. If you can’t get the duty manager ring that and you’ll be through to the supervisor in Almondsbury. Explain what’s happened.”

  “No problem.” Mandy walked towards the exit. The two glass doors slid smoothly into their niches and she vanished from sight.

  Eddie leaned back in his chair. “A nice lady. Still, it’s true what I said. If women didn’t carry so much junk about everywhere their life would be easier. I mean, we blokes only have a couple of tiny pockets and we manage.”

  “I only have a dinky little handbag,” said Paula, waving a small black leather accessory for all to see.

  “You are exceptional. Most females carry enormous sacks everywhere.”

  The mention of sacks reminded Bob of his strange dream. “I never told you about the ant sacks.”

  “Ant sacks?”

  “I dreamed of a man warning me about ant sacks. I thought they might have something to do with your Ant-Men.”

  Eddie shook his head. “The Ant-Men from Jupiter sometimes carry guns and clubs but never sacks. Yours must be different Ant-Men.”

  “What on Earth are you two talking about?” said Paula.

  “The Ant-Men from Jupiter, of course,” said Eddie. He sounded mildly exasperated as if it were a stupid question. “They come for you in the night when you have been drinking for a while and then stop. Perhaps they sense your weakness. I would not wish upon you, Paula, an encounter with the Ant-Men from Jupiter.”

  “And their ant sacks,” said Bob.

  “Anzacs?” Nancy interrupted. “What did you say about Anzacs?”

  “Not Anzacs,” said Bob. “Ant sacks.”

  “What on Earth are ant sacks?”

  “We’re not sure,” Bob admitted.

  “But the Ant-Men from Jupiter don’t carry them,” said Eddie.

  “They only carry guns and clubs,” said Bob.

  “Sometimes they bite too,” said Eddie.

  “Do they play ant music?” said Paula.

  “Not that I can remember.”

  She sighed. “I used to dream of Adam.”

  “Adam Blake, the twenty-first-century boy?”

  “No, silly, not that twit. Adam Ant.”

  “I never dreamed of Adam Ant,” said Bob.

  Eddie gave him a suspicious look. “Are you sure about that?”

  “Absolutely sure?” said Paula, a twinkle in her eye.

  “Absolutely,” said Bob. “In fact, I’m adamant.”

  “Stop!” Nancy clutched her hair with both hands. “Stop!” Everyone went silent. “God, it’s like listening to a Harold Pinter dialogue. I thought you said ‘Anzacs.’”

  “No, ant sacks. What are Anzacs?” asked Bob.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Just a crazy dream I had last night when I fell asleep here.” Nancy looked ashamed as if a woman of her years, and a supervisor too, at need, should not be having mad dreams.

  “You were on nights yesterday, weren’t you?” said Paula.

  Nancy nodded. “What was the crazy dream?” said Eddie.

  She smiled. “I dreamed of an Indian telling me to beware the Anzacs. It was silly. Too much cheese for supper, I suppose.”

  “A red Indian?” asked Bob. “Geronimo? Sitting Bull?”

  “No. A proper Indian, from India. He was wearing a purple smock and a broad-brimmed hat of some sort. He had a big moustache.”

  Bob stood up suddenly. “I thought he was a Turk!”

  Eddie blinked. “You thought who was a Turk? What are you shouting for?”

  “I dreamed of the same man but I thought he was a Turk telling me to beware the ant sacks. I thought it was just a silly dream.”

  “It was just a silly dream.” Eddie sounded exasperated for real now.

  “But Nancy had the same dream. Isn’t that odd?”

  “It’s certainly unusual,” said Paula, “but there must be a sensible explanation. You may have both seen the same film or television program recently and dreamt about it.”

  “A television program about ant sacks,” said Eddie. “I missed that one.”

  “I don’t recall seeing this Indian man in any film,” said Nancy.

  “Nor me.” Bob was frowning at his computer screen as if it might hold answers. “This is odd.”

  “There has to be some rational explanation,” sighed Eddie, who detested, Bob knew, every kind of hocus pocus from homoeopathy to astrology. The only spirits Eddie believed in came in a bottle.

  “Caroline is a long time back there,” said Pauline.

  Bob stood up. “I’ll check on her.”

  “No hanky panky,” Eddie called as he walked away. “We’re still at work, you know.”

  Bob moved swiftly through the dim section of the call centre. The library was a small room at the back, almost a cupboard. He could see a bar of light under the door.

  “Caroline?” He opened the door. “Caroline!” She was slumped on the floor, curled into a foetal position, unconscious. The others heard his cry of alarm. They came rushing towards him. Bob hovered in the doorway, looking worried, while Nancy knelt down beside the girl and rested her head in her lap.

  “She seems to have fainted. She’s breathing okay.”

  “Why would she faint,” said Bob. There were a few booklets scattered about the floor as if she had dropped them.

&nb
sp; “Don’t be silly,” said Paula. “There could be any number of reasons why she fainted.”

  Bob heard a faint hammering noise from the far end of the call centre, near the tearoom and the supervisor's pod.

  “What now?” said Eddie, in exasperation. He half turned his head to look back at the other end of the call centre. The hammering noise became louder.

  Mandy? Bob stood up and ran back to the call centre entrance but Eddie was ahead of him. In the corridor, they could see the nurse. She was pounding on the glass doors with her fists and seemed to be shouting. The glass doors suddenly opened and she fell through, sprawling headlong on the carpet. She was screaming.

  Chapter Eight

  Mandy was sobbing with her face pressed tight to the carpet as if there were sanctuary there. Eddie picked her up gently and sat her down in a chair. Nancy had remained with Caroline. Bob was looking at the doors and wondering why they had not opened for Mandy, why she had to pound them with her fists. Paula, oddly calm, seemed to be studying something on her computer.

  Eddie was kneeling beside Mandy and speaking softly, trying to find out what had happened. She was sobbing and looking at her lap, trying to pull herself together.

  “I saw someone,” she said finally. Her cheeks were wet and she wiped her eyes with the back of one hand impatiently. Modern girls, Bob reflected, did not like playing the helpless female part. Times had changed.

  “Whom did you see?” he said.

  Mandy almost screamed in reply: “I don’t know. I didn’t get his name, for God’s sake!”

  “All right, all right,” said Eddie.

  “What did he look like?” Bob persisted.

  Eddie stood up. “Take it easy, Bob. She’s scared.”

  Bob grimaced. “I’m getting worried myself. Something’s going on. The phones have stopped working, we were hearing strange things on them, the computers are on the blink and now she saw someone.” He knelt down and took Mandy’s hand. “It might be important. What did this bloke look like?”

  Mandy gazed into the middle distance. “He looked like a soldier, I think.”

  “Like a soldier?” said Eddie. He seemed surprised.

  She nodded. “Yes. He was scarred and bloody and dressed in rags. He only had one eye. There was just a bare socket for the other one. God, it was awful! I somehow got the impression he was a soldier.”

  “Are you sure? What would a soldier be doing here?” Eddie seemed almost annoyed at her disclosure now. “I assume it would have been a beggar or some street person who got in here somehow, past Adam Blake’s super-duper twenty-first-century security system. What would a soldier be doing here?”

  “I don’t know!” She retorted more loudly. “I’m just telling you what I saw!” She thumped the table next to her with her small clenched fist.

  Then Paula spoke, quietly. She was still looking at her computer screen. “Has anyone else actually read this Dardanelles website?”

  Bob looked at her. “No. Why would we? Presumably its some internet glitch that made it keep popping up.”

  “It’s about Gallipoli,” said Paula.

  “Gallipoli?” said Mandy. She was still breathing deeply but appeared to have calmed down a little. “Isn’t that a film with Mel Gibson?”

  “It’s about some battle in World War I,” said Eddie. “I saw it once on telly but I was half-pissed. I’m not a big fan of Mel, not being a girl.”

  “It was a major battle against the Turks in the Dardanelles,” said Paula. “We lost.”

  “Turks,” said Bob, thinking of the moustached man in the broad-brimmed hat. Had he been Turkish, or Indian?

  “We, the British, lost?” said Bob.

  “More the Australians and New Zealanders,” said Paula, “though the British organized the catastrophe. Many of the casualties were of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. Guess what they were known as?”

  Eddie shook his head.

  “Anzacs.”

  “Beware the Anzac,” said Bob. “This is making sense.”

  “No it isn’t,” said Eddie irritably. “A Turk saying ‘Beware the Anzac.’ Why should the Turks beware the Anzacs if they won? And what’s it got to do with us here and now?”

  Bob ignored him and spoke to Mandy again. “Did this soldier look Australian?”

  “Were there corks dangling from his hat brim,” said Eddie. “Was he called Bruce?”

  Mandy gave a sob that might have been a laugh.

  Bob persisted. “Did he speak to you at all?”

  Mandy shook her head. “He screamed at me but not with any distinguishable words. I think he wanted to scare me. I got as far as the next floor down and he suddenly appeared in front of me. I turned and ran back. I fell a few times on the way but he didn’t jump on me or anything, just stood there screaming, and chased me when I stood up again. I was terrified.”

  “May I?” Bob gently took the mobile which she still clutched in her hand and flipped it open. He pressed a button. “Still no signal. Damn.”

  Paula said, “I don’t mind going down and trying to phone.”

  Bob shook his head. “Don’t be silly. Where’s Nancy?” He looked towards the back of the call centre. He realized he had forgotten about Caroline and felt a stab of guilt. “Is Caroline awake yet?”

  “I’ll go and see.” Paula headed that way.

  Bob noticed that Eddie was still looking exasperated as if any unexplainable happenings were a personal affront. The last thing he wanted to do was fall out with Mandy but he couldn’t restrain his true opinion. Even so, he was looking confused too. He tapped his friend on the elbow and said, “You don’t like this, do you, Eddie?”

  Eddie turned angrily. “No, I don’t. I’ve half a mind to go find this beggar and kick him out myself. I think it’s a stupid Halloween prank.”

  “Could a beggar affect the computers and the phones?” said Mandy.

  “He might be in league with a computer hacker. They can get into banks sometimes, and even into the Pentagon computers. Obviously, he’s not a real beggar. Or a soldier.” He glared as if daring them to disagree then said. “Sorry, Mandy. That’s how I feel.”

  She shrugged. “I hope you’re right.”

  Nancy shouted out for someone to give her a hand. Bob ran back to the library and found that Caroline was now awake. She was standing with Nancy holding onto her left arm. “Give me a hand to get her to a chair.”

  Bob took her right arm and they led her gently back to the other end of the call centre. Eddie handed her a glass of water. She sipped it.

  “I feel so silly.”

  “Anyone can faint,” said Paula. “And it’s been an odd night. Stressful.” She glanced at Mandy who was still looking white and shaken. Caroline and Nancy were not yet aware of what had happened to the other girl.

  Bob turned to Nancy. “What are we going to do?”

  “Well,” she said, “We’re not doing anything useful here. Our first duty is to get in touch with the duty manager or the centre at Almondsbury and let them know we’re not taking calls.” She scratched her head and looked around at her staff. “What happened to Mandy?”

  “Mandy could not contact the duty manager,” said Paula carefully. “She met an intruder on the next floor down and had to run back here.”

  Nancy was understandably puzzled. “How could an intruder get in here? Who was it?”

  “An Australian soldier, apparently.” Eddie could not restrain the sarcasm in his voice.

  There was some heated discussion and eventually, Nancy got the gist of the situation. She scratched her head. “I have no idea what’s going on but – as I said – our duty is to notify someone. If there might be an intruder here then I can only suggest we all go together.”

  “I can go alone,” said Bob.

  Nancy shook her head. “I don’t want anyone going alone. He might be dangerous.”

  “Eddie could go with him,” said Mandy, with perhaps a hint of malice.

  “Leaving us girls
here alone?” said Paula. “What if they miss him and he comes in here? I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “I think you’re right,” said Nancy. “Very well, we shall all go together. Gather up your things in case we can’t get back in.”

  Those that had things to take fetched them. Bob and Eddie had jackets; the girls had handbags and coats. Soon they were gathered in a compact group by the supervisors’ pod and ready to depart.

  “Let’s go,” said Nancy. She stepped briskly towards the exit doors.

  The doors did not open.

  Chapter Nine

  “Great!” said Eddie.

  Nancy stepped back from the doorway and then stepped forward again. It still did not open. She realized she looked silly and stopped. She blinked and frowned at the doors as at a naughty child that has refused to do the expected thing. Bob felt sorry for her. “Oh dear,” she said.

  Bob sat down and the others followed suit. To stand staring at a pair of disobedient electronic doors made them all feel stupid. He said, “What do you think we should do, Nancy?”

  “I really don’t know. I am open to suggestions.”

  “Ah, shared governance,” said Eddie. NHS Direct had been, for several years, piloting the idea that staff should have more say in the running of the service and there were various forums and committees for them to express their views. Bob knew Eddie was cynical about it. But Eddie was cynical about everything.

  Bob said, “What can we do?”

  Nancy looked at the doors in exasperation. “Very little. They are solid doors. We have no tools or anything of that kind here and even if we did it wouldn’t be a good idea to mess with them. I’m sure they’re very expensive.”

  “We can’t just sit here!” cried Mandy.

  There was a general silence. Then Eddie said, “Why can’t we just sit here? There is food in the fridge and water in the kettle. We have made every reasonable effort to do our duty. We can just sit here and natter until dawn when the early shift comes in and go home to bed.”

  “Will the early shift be able to get in?” said Paula.

  Eddie shrugged. “I don’t know. But they’re not stuck inside if they can’t. They’re out there in the world with all its resources at their disposal. We’re stuck because we can neither get out nor communicate with anyone outside.”