The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

by Nagaru Tanigawa

  “Why, hello.”

  An optimistic voice broadcasted from within the red light.

  “Took you long enough. I was expecting you to appear in a more tangible form.”

  “Regarding that, I need to tell you a few things. No beating around the bush. I’ll be frank. This is an abnormal situation.”

  The red light flickered.

  “With normal closed space, I am easily able to gain entry. However, that wasn’t the case this time. I could only appear in this incomplete form after borrowing the power of all of my colleagues. And it probably won’t last very long. The power that rests within us is beginning to disappear.”

  “What’s going on? Are Haruhi and I the only ones here?”

  “Precisely,” Koizumi responded. “In other words, what we feared has already begun to happen. Suzumiya has finally given up on the current world and decided to create a new world.”

  “…”

  “As a result, our superiors are in a state of panic. Nobody knows what will happen to our world once it has lost its God. If Suzumiya happens to be feeling merciful, our world may continue to exist without change. But it could also return to nothing in the next second.”

  “Why did this happen?”

  “No one knows.”

  The red light faltered like a flame.

  “In any case, you and Suzumiya have completely vanished from our world. You are not in ordinary closed space. It is an entirely new dimension created by Suzumiya. Perhaps all the previous instances of closed space were merely practice runs.”

  “Funny joke. Tell me which part I’m supposed to laugh at. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

  “That wasn’t a joke. I am dead serious. The world you are in is probably the manifestation nearest to the world Haruhi desires. Though we aren’t sure what it is that she wants. Indeed, who knows what will happen?”

  “Setting that aside, why am I here?”

  “Do you really not know? You have been chosen by Suzumiya. The only person from the old world Suzumiya truly wanted to be with. I thought that you had realized this long ago.”

  Koizumi’s light was about as dim as a flashlight running out of batteries.

  “It would appear that I’m almost out of time. The way things look now, I probably won’t be seeing you again, but I suppose I’m rather relieved, for I will no longer need to go hunt Celestials.”

  “Do I have to live in this gray world all alone with Haruhi?”

  “Adam and Eve. If you reproduce enough, it’ll work out, won’t it?”

  “… Don’t make me hit you.”

  “Just a joke. All kidding aside, I would assume that this closed area of space will only last momentarily. It should soon turn into a familiar-looking world. However, it probably won’t be entirely the same. You could say that the world you are in is now the real world and the former world would be closed space. It’s a pity I won’t be able to observe the differences between the worlds. Well, if I happen to be born into the new world, please treat me kindly.”

  Koizumi was turning back into a ping pong ball. His human shape collapsed and shrank like a burned-out star.

  “We can no longer go back to the old world?”

  “If Suzumiya desires it, then perhaps. The possibility is slim though. As for myself, I would have liked to spend more time with you and Suzumiya, so I regret this turn of events. I enjoyed being in the SOS Brigade. Oh, that’s right. I forgot to deliver the messages from Mikuru Asahina and Yuki Nagato.”

  Koizumi said the following words before completely disappearing:

  “Mikuru Asahina wanted to apologize. She said, ‘I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.’ Yuki Nagato’s message was ‘Turn on the computer.’ I’ll be going now.”

  The end was quite quick. Like a candle being blown out.

  I pondered Asahina’s message. Why is she sorry? What did Asahina do? I decided to think about that later and turned on the computer per the other message. As the hard drive produced sounds of seeking, the OS logo showed up on the monitor… except not. The OS screen, which should have booted up in a few seconds, didn’t show up. The monitor remained black. There was only a blinking white cursor on the left edge of the screen. The cursor began moving soundlessly to spell out a curt message.

  YUKI.N> Can you see this?

  After a brief period of bewilderment, I pulled the keyboard towards me. My fingers began typing.

  Yeah.

  YUKI.N> The connection has not been completely severed with your spacetime. But it is only a matter of time. The connection will be closed soon. That will be the end.

  What should I do?

  YUKI.N> Nothing can be done. The eruption of abnormal data in this world has completely vanished. The Data Overmind is in despair. The possibility for evolution has been lost.

  What was that whole possibility of evolution thing anyway? What part of Haruhi could possibly be considered evolved?

  YUKI.N> A high level of intelligence refers to data processing speed and accuracy. The intelligence of organic life forms has limited processing capabilities due to error and noise data from their physical bodies. As a result, once they reach a certain level, evolution stops.

  So our physical bodies are the problem?

  YUKI.N> The Data Overmind was created from data to begin with. It was believed that their data processing ability would increase infinitely until the universe burned up. But that was wrong. Just as the universe had its limits, evolution had its limits. At least, as long as they remain a discarnate entity of data.

  And Suzumiya?

  YUKI.N> Haruhi Suzumiya possessed the ability to create data from nothing. An ability the Data Overmind does not have. A human, a mere organic life form, is creating more data than it can process in its lifetime. If we could analyze this ability to create data, we could find a clue regarding autoevolution, or so we thought.

  The cursor flickered. I could feel her hesitance before the words began racing again.

  YUKI.N> We are counting on you.

  Counting on me?

  YUKI.N> We wish for you to return to this world. Haruhi Suzumiya is a vital observation subject. An important being that may never be born into this universe again. I also individually feel that I want you to return.

  The letters were fading. The frail cursor slowly produced words.

  YUKI.N> Another visit to the library would

  The monitor blacked out. Increasing the brightness didn’t help. Nagato’s final typed words were brief.

  YUKI.N> sleeping beauty

  The loud rattling of the hard drive scanning almost made me jump up. The access light blinked and the monitor displayed the familiar OS screen. The whirring of the computer fan was the only sound in this world.

  “What are you telling me to do, Nagato? Koizumi?”

  I let out a deep sigh and casually, really, just casually looked out the window.

  The window frame was covered in blue light.

  A giant of light stood in the courtyard. Up close, it looked like a blue wall.

  Haruhi jumped into the room.

  “Kyon! Something’s here!”

  Haruhi almost ran into me as I stood at the window before coming to a halt next to me.

  “What is that? It sure is big. A monster? It isn’t a mirage, right?”

  She sounded excited. Like her earlier gloom had never happened. Her eyes shone without a hint of anxiety.

  “Maybe it’s an alien. Or the revival of some super weapon developed by an ancient race! Is that what’s keeping us from leaving the school?”

  The blue wall stirred. My mind flashed back to the scene of skyscrapers being trampled down. I immediately grabbed Haruhi’s hand and ran out of the club room.

  “Wha—H-Hey! What are you doing?”

  We practically fell into the hallway. At the same time, a large roar vibrated through the air. I pushed Haruhi to the floor and covered her with my body. The clubhouse shook violently. I could hear the sounds of hard, heavy objects crashing into the floor down t
he hallway. Based on the volume of sound, the giant apparently hadn’t targeted the clubhouse with its attack. It was probably the building across the way.

  I grabbed Haruhi’s hand and pulled her up as she sputtered. I then took off running. Oddly enough, Haruhi followed without complaint.

  Is it my palm that’s sweating? Or is it Haruhi’s?

  The taste of dust in the decrepit clubhouse was gone. As I dashed as fast as I could to the stairs, I heard a second crashing sound.

  We raced down the stairs. I could feel Haruhi’s body heat through her hand. We cut across the courtyard and headed down the slope to the track. Upon first glance, Haruhi’s face next to me looked, though I may be mistaken, somewhat happy. Like a kid on Christmas morning finding all the presents she’d wanted next to her bed.

  We kept running to put some distance between us and the building. When I looked up, I became truly aware of how big the giant was. The one in the place Koizumi took me to had been about as big as a skyscraper.

  The giant raised its arm and smashed its fist into the school building. The first hit had already split open the cheap four-story structure, so it collapsed rather readily. Debris flew in all directions, causing deafening noise.

  We stopped after advancing to the center of the two-hundred-meter track. A gigantic blue humanoid rose against the gloomy monotone canvas like a Hollywood special effect.

  I was thinking about how this was what Haruhi should be taking pictures of for our Web site. She didn’t need to put up pictures of the Computer Research Society president groping Asahina, much less pictures of her in costumes. This scene is what she should put on the Web site.

  As I was thinking about that, the sound of Haruhi rapidly speaking reached my ear.

  “Do you think it’ll attack us? It’s just a hunch, but I don’t think it’s anything evil.”

  “Dunno.”

  As I responded, I was thinking to myself about what Koizumi explained when he first took me into closed space. If we left the destructive actions of the Celestials unchecked, the world would eventually be replaced. As in this gray world would take the place of the former world. And then…

  What would happen next?

  According to Koizumi, a new world was apparently being created by Haruhi. Would the Asahina and Nagato I know be in it? Or would it be a world where abnormal became normal, where these Celestials walked freely and aliens, time travelers, and espers were everywhere?

  If that were to happen, what would my role be in that world?

  There was no point in thinking about it, since I didn’t have a clue. I didn’t know what Haruhi was thinking. I’m no master at reading other people’s minds. I have no skills at all.

  As I stood deep in thought, Haruhi’s cheerful voice sounded near my ear.

  “What is all this? This weird world and that giant.”

  It looks like you made them. Both this place and that thing. Anyway, what I want to ask is why I’ve been dragged into this. Adam and Eve, you say? That’s just dumb. I won’t accept such a clichéd turn of events. I refuse to.

  “Don’t you want to go back to our old world?” I asked, sounding like I was reading off a script.

  “Huh?”

  Haruhi’s shining eyes seemed to dim. I turned to her white face juxtaposed against the gray backdrop.

  “We can’t stay in this place for the rest of our lives. It doesn’t look like there’s a place to eat when we get hungry. There probably aren’t any stores open. And if that invisible wall extends around this entire place, we won’t be able to get out. We’ll surely starve to death.”

  “Hmm, you know. It’s kind of strange, but I’m not really concerned about any of that. I just get the feeling it’ll work itself out. I know something’s wrong, but I just, I don’t know… I’m having fun right now.”

  “What about the SOS Brigade? It’s the club you made. You’re just gonna ditch it?”

  “That doesn’t matter anymore. After all, I’m really enjoying myself right now. There’s no need to go look for anything mysterious anymore.”

  “I want to go back.”

  The giant suspended its dismantling of the school.

  “I discovered something after being thrown into this situation. I may complain all the time, but I actually liked how my life was. Including that idiot Taniguchi and Kunikida. Koizumi, Nagato, and Asahina. You can even include the vanished Asakura.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I want to see them again. I feel like I still have so many things to tell them.”

  Haruhi’s head lowered a bit. “I’m sure we’ll see them. This world won’t be covered in darkness forever. The sun will rise tomorrow. I can tell.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I don’t mean in this world. I want to see the old them in the old world.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  Haruhi made a pouting face and looked up at me. She had this strange mixed look of hatred and sorrow like some kid who had her present taken away.

  “Weren’t you fed up with that boring world? It was just an ordinary world where nothing special ever happened. Didn’t you want something more interesting to happen?”

  “I did indeed.”

  The giant began walking. It kicked down the wreckage of the collapsed school building and advanced into the courtyard. It karate-chopped the passageway between buildings and punched the clubhouse. Our school was being blown apart. And our club room.

  I looked over Haruhi’s head to see the base of more blue walls standing in different positions from the giant. One, two, three… I stopped counting once I got to five.

  The giants, unhindered by the red balls of light, began destroying the gray world as they pleased. It must have been my twisted mind telling me they were probably having a good time doing this. Every time they waved their limbs, the landscape vanished, like a piece of space being shaved off.

  Half the school was gone without a trace.

  I was unable to sense if the closed space was expanding. Plus I really didn’t know anything about the whole “expanding until this space becomes the new reality” thing. I just knew that was how it was. Right then, if a drunk middle-aged guy sitting next to me on the train were to say, “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m actually an alien,” I probably would have believed him. I already had three times the amount of experience I’d had a month ago.

  What can I do? It would have been impossible a month ago, but now, I could do it. I’d already received a few hints.

  I resolved myself and spoke.

  “Haruhi, I’ve been through some really fantastic experiences the past few days. You probably don’t know, but there are actually a bunch of extraordinary people interested in you. You could even say that the world is revolving around you. These people, they consider you to be a unique girl and are acting accordingly. You may not have realized, but the world was definitely moving in an interesting direction.”

  I wanted to grab Haruhi’s shoulders when I realized I was still holding her hand. Haruhi, however, had a look on her face like she thought I had mad cow disease.

  Unconsciously, Haruhi avoided my eyes and watched a giant take apart the school like it was completely natural.

  As I looked at her from the side, I become newly aware of the softness of the curves of her face. Nagato said she was the “potential for evolution.” According to Asahina, she was a “time warp.” Koizumi treated her as “God.” Then what about me? What did “Haruhi Suzumiya” mean to me?

  Haruhi was Haruhi and nobody else. I wasn’t going to use such overblown language to dodge the question. But I didn’t happen to have a decisive answer. Isn’t that natural? If someone points to the classmate sitting behind you and asks, “What is she to you?” how are you supposed to respond?… No, sorry. Guess that’s still dodging the question. Haruhi wasn’t just a classmate to me. Of course, she also wasn’t the “potential for evolution” or a “time warp,” much less “God.” She couldn’t possibly be.

  The giant t
urned toward the track. It has no face or eyes, yet I could feel it looking at us. It began walking. Each step carried it meters. Despite its sluggish movements, the creature’s approaching figure loomed before us.

  Think. What did Asahina say? Her warning. And Nagato’s last message. Snow White. Sleeping Beauty. Even I should know what Sleeping Beauty was referring to. What do the two have in common? The answer became clear once I factored in our current situation. So clichéd. Way too clichéd, Asahina. And Nagato. I wouldn’t accept this stupid turn of events. No way in hell.

  Or so my rational thought insisted. Nagato might call it “noise.” Humans are not rational creatures. I released Haruhi’s hand, grabbed the shoulders of her sailor uniform, and turned her toward me.

  “What is it?”

  “Actually, ponytails turn me on.”

  “What?”

  “That ponytail you used to wear looked so good it was criminal.”

  “Are you an idiot?”

  Her black eyes appeared to reject me. As Haruhi raised her voice in protest, I forced my lips onto hers. It’s expected to close your eyes in such situations so I did, which is why I didn’t see the expression on Haruhi’s face. Maybe her eyes were wide open in shock. Maybe her eyes were closed like mine. Maybe she had her arm raised over her head about to smack me. I have no way of knowing. But I wouldn’t have noticed being smacked right then. I’m willing to bet that anyone in this situation with Haruhi would feel the same way. I strengthened my grip on her shoulders. I didn’t want to let go just yet.

  I could hear roaring sounds in the distance. The giants were probably punching and kicking the school again. But in the next second, a sense of weightlessness threw me off balance. I fell, experiencing an excruciating impact on my left side. My kiss shouldn’t have warranted a judo throw. But then I opened my eyes and froze upon seeing a familiar ceiling.

  I was in a room. My room. I looked to the side to find my bed and discovered that I had fallen onto the floor. Naturally, I was wearing my sweats. Half of my disheveled blanket had fallen off the bed. My arm was behind my back and my mouth was wide open like an idiot’s.