by MK Meredith
“A beautiful depiction of the place I learned how to love, the place I truly…fell…in love.”
Jimmy stared at her hard with an intensity she'd never seen before, and excitement shot through her to the tips of her toes.
“Bel.” He dropped the photograph back to the tabletop as he said her name. His voice was like marbles rolling along her skin—smooth but heavy with weight.
He paced as if he didn't know what to do with his hands or his mouth, and the fear she so dreaded crept in with a vengeance, making her feel as though she might be sick to her stomach.
Grabbing his camera from the countertop, she shoved it into his hands. “It's time for that surprise.”
He looked down at the equipment, dumbfounded. Before he had time to put any more thought behind what she said or what he felt she wanted to hear, she pulled the tie on her wrap dress and let the silky fabric fall to the floor.
And there she stood in nothing but a lacy black bra and panty set.
As he watched, she slid a piece of fabric from inside her bra and placed it over her eyes, tying it at the back of her head. It was a black lace masquerade mask. One of the only ways she'd be able to handle the photo shoot she was setting him up to take.
“Holy fuu…” Without finishing the word, he slid behind the camera and snapped a shot.
Everything was so different with him that even with the ache in her heart, she felt beautiful and confident in her own skin. With him she wasn't too skinny or too bony or too frail. She was hot-blooded and sexy and desirable.
But the mask did help. It hid her disappointment, shielded her heart just enough to manage the ache there.
She moved to her black chaise lounge and draped herself across one end.
Jimmy muttered under his breath.
“Do want me to stop?” She slid a finger under the edge of her lacy bra.
“Hell no! Don’t you dare,” he growled. Click, click.
She rolled onto her stomach, pushing her chest forward and letting her hair tumble over her shoulder. It was easy to get lost in the fun of it all, not the part where she was half nude and having the photographs taken of her but the pure entertainment of watching Jimmy in his element.
He crouched, then stood on tiptoe. He jumped on a chair, then lay on the ground with his muscles flexing and his breathing strained. She'd bet her next paycheck that he was so focused on his camera he forgot where he was.
Then he leaned in for a close-up of her face.
She stared into the lens, unable to stop the love she felt, but the fear it wasn’t returned was too much, so she closed her eyes.
Without warning, his camera was gone, her mask was ripped away, and he rolled her onto her back, covering her body with his own. Her body arched against his hands, and she couldn't help but push for more and more.
Not one to waste an opportunity, she yanked his shirt up, helping him pull it over his head. Then he shoved away, kicked off his boots, and ditched his jeans. As he slid over her, the weight of his delicious body left her feeling high.
“God, you feel so good.”
“Understatement of the century. I’ve never seen anything so fucking hot.” He slid his tongue along hers, teasing, tasting, and she gave back tenfold.
The jarring ring of his phone yanked them from the web of desire they'd weaved about themselves.
“Son of a bitch.” Jimmy's curse bounced off the walls. He shoved away from her, the muscles in his ass flexing with each step toward his phone.
With quick, jerky movements, he placed it to his ear. “Hello.”
Her body hummed, and her eyes gave thanks for such a well-formed man.
But her heart braced for what she knew was coming.
Slowly he turned to face her.
The hilarity of it all was painful and took her breath away. There he stood as though sculpted out of stone, his erection huge, his body glistening, but the look on his face was one of sheer disappointment and frustration.
That acted as a bit of a salve.
“There’s been an emergency. I have to go.” He gave a helpless shake of his head as he yanked on his shirt.
“Oh my God. What happened?”
He grimaced. “Margo happened, that’s what.”
She stood from the chaise lounge, grabbing the blanket from the back and wrapping it around herself. “You need to go. I understand.”
Cleo needed him. Bel just wanted him…heart and soul.
He shoved one leg then the next into his jeans, jumping as he pulled the pants up over his hips. “I don't think you're gonna wanna go out in public looking like that.”
She pointed to her chest, and her heart leapt to life. “Me?” A small vibration of disbelief morphed into hope.
Jimmy looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. “Is there someone else here? Because if there is, I’ve finally done it and lost my mind. Yes, you. Cleo asked for you to come.”
Sweet elation collided with disappointment, leaving her feeling a bit off-kilter as she quickly grabbed for her dress.
She was trained to listen to details and did not miss that the request was from Cleo.
But it didn’t matter. There was no way that she’d ever let that sweet girl down.
CHAPTER 17
J immy kept Cleo on the line.
He’d hated having to return his sweet girl home after the last altercation, but the law kept his hands tied. Frustration constantly simmered under the surface.
Without Cleo admitting to exactly what had happened, nothing could be done.
But she was terrified, and he couldn’t blame her.
The system wasn’t working, not when it kept putting a sweet kid like Cleo in a dark situation over and over again. Not when it expected her to be stronger, braver than the adults involved.
“Bel, call 911 and give them this address.” He rattled off Margo’s apartment. He appreciated that she didn't ask any questions, just did as he asked.
“Cleo, it's okay. We're on the way.”
“Please hurry, Uncle Jimmy. I'm scared. She's shaking, and there's some foam coming out of her mouth.”
He could hear the panic in her voice, and it killed him. It was all he could do to keep his truck on the road, and he slammed his hands into the steering wheel, which didn’t help either. “We're almost there, Clee. Hold on for me…we're almost there.”
He sped into the parking lot, bouncing over a curb. He threw the truck into park and opened the door.
“Apartment two fourteen.”
“Go,” Bel said.
He bounded up the stairs two at a time as he had over and over and over again. This had to stop. It wasn’t fair to Cleo. She deserved a better life.
Shoving open the door, he found Cleo standing over her mother holding a cell phone, dropped to his knees, and pulled the little girl to his chest. “It's okay, kiddo, I'm here. I'm always here.”
And the strain in his chest to make it so nearly did him in. This was it. No more. He didn't know who he had to fight or what he had to do to make them see that, in this case, he was the best home for this little girl.
Bel came through the door, followed close behind by paramedics.
“Hey, Clee, the professor’s here.” He kept his voice light, hoping to manage a bit of his niece's fear. He watched her fold herself into Bel’s embrace and found the heavy burden in his chest lighten just a bit.
Bel was here. It wasn't her family, and it wasn't her mess, but she was here. She didn't ask questions. She didn't make demands. He didn't know if he’d ever met a stronger woman, and he didn't know if she'd ever see past the shame of his part in all of this horrible mess.
The paramedics administered a shot that had Margo sitting up with a full gasp. Her eyes rolled wildly until they fell on the trio.
“You!” Her voice was a raspy wisp of breath. “This is all you! You killed Jack. Always there for everyone else, but you just had to be late? Why were you late? He’s dead, and I can’t…I tried, but I can’t…” Her voice
broke as an anguished cry left the rest of her words slurred and unrecognizable.
Just as quickly, she sniffed and yanked her gaze to Bel, and she sneered. “You must be the new pretty wife option. You know that's the only reason he’s with you, right? He needs a mother for Cleo. To steal her from me once and for all.”
“That's enough,” Jimmy said. A sick feeling tightened in his gut as the color drained from Bel's face.
“Tell her,” Margo said. “Tell her the truth. That’s what you told me. Cleo was there, she heard it.”
Seeing Margo like this, hearing her act like a completely different woman than the one who’d married his brother, with dreams of being an interior designer and having a big family, left him feeling helpless.
He tore his gaze away from so much pain to find comfort in Cleo, taking in her tear-stained face and the white-knuckled grip she had on Bel’s hand.
Anything.
He’d do anything for this special little girl.
Finally, he looked Bel in the eye and hated himself for what he saw there.
A stricken look of betrayal, disbelief, her skin pale, and a slight tremble in her lower lip.
Without saying a word, he could see she felt used, possibly tricked.
Why couldn’t he get things right? Why was every damn thing he did so fucking wrong? “It's not what you think, but yes…I said it.”
Panic, the cold, hollow feeling of loss, almost overwhelmed him. He had to make her understand. She had to see.
The EMTs continued to administer treatment, dodging Margo as she tried to slap their hands away.
His words, his actions…had the power to take Bel from him forever.
The thought made his knees threaten to buckle beneath his ass.
He loved her.
Like no one he’d ever loved before.
“Please, you need to listen to me. I love you.” He took her hand.
But she pulled it away.
I love you, too.
But Bel didn’t say a word.
The pain in her chest was suffocating, but the scared child in her arms needed her more than she needed to breathe. So, she braced against the rush of emotion, hiding her face for a moment in Cleo’s hair.
She was numb.
He loved her?
The words she dreamed of hearing but would never let herself admit out loud.
He cared for her, this she knew. But love?
Now she’d never really know.
How could someone love her if they weren't willing to share who they were? He would share his photography, his body, his time…but he kept Cleo, the most important part of him, hidden as long as he could. Then considered their relationship as a means to an end.
She didn’t even know what to think of his brother. Clearly, there was more to that story. But to find out this way…
Squeezing her eyes closed, she concentrated on the feel of Cleo against her chest.
“I must seem like a stranger, but—”
She flinched at his words.
Raising a hand, she tried to find her voice. It was as if her throat had closed along with her emotion. He was right. Apparently, she didn’t know him. And the reality of it all was like a slash to the heart. “Why? Why would you do this?”
She pressed a kiss to Cleo's head. “And after I've already fallen in love with this sweet girl.
“Bel, please. Let me explain.”
Her heart ached with the need to touch him. “You say you love me, but to love someone is to trust them, to share your life. You don’t. And as brave as I am now, it’s not without common sense. I'm not going to put myself in a situation like that because you've taught me that I deserve better.”
A portion of Bel’s heart felt as though it had split down the center and fallen open, the pain was worse than anything she could remember…even watching her mother walk away years ago. What she and her brother offered wasn’t enough to make her stay.
“I don't accept any of that. Except the part about you deserving better, of course you do. That is the God's honest truth, but I do love you. Not because of what I can get from you. I want to be the man you deserve.”
He shoved a hand through his hair, leaving a few clumps sticking up. “And how can you say I don’t trust you? I brought you here tonight. To this.” The look on his face was as distraught as she’d ever seen it.
She wished she could hold him.
Instead, she lifted her chin. “No…you didn’t. Cleo asked for me.”
She stood and guided his sweet niece into her uncle's arms. He immediately wrapped the little girl tight against him, and that only made Bel love him more.
What a good man.
What a good, good man.
She wanted to be loved like that. For just being. Not for what she could do or give but just for being her.
Stepping to him, she forged through her own pain and cupped his cheek before letting her hand drift to his chest. How she could even stand on her own feet evaded her. “I can understand why you said what you did to Margo about marrying me. But a part of you meant it. The possibility would haunt me. I’d feel insecure and paranoid and as though I had to prove that I’m worth staying for.”
He placed his hand over hers, pressing it against the beating of his heart.
And she'd been working to get over all of that baggage her whole life.
“I can’t risk that again.” She gave a slight tug until he released her hand.
She squatted to Cleo's level and wiped away a tear. “I need to go now, but your Uncle Jimmy is going to take such good care of you,” she whispered.
“When will I see you again?” Cleo asked.
Bel met Jimmy’s gaze and swallowed hard. “I’ll try to see you soon. I promise.”
Cleo wrapped her arms around Bel's neck one more time. And Bel sunk into the embrace, wanting to remember and never ever forget. How Cleo could still hold so much love in her heart after everything she had been through overwhelmed Bel in a direct contrast to everything she knew.
“Okay,” she said and let her go to stand.
Jimmy had a long road ahead of him, securing Cleo’s future. He didn't need any distractions. And the whole time she’d be trying to prove to him that she was worth it, he'd be trying to prove to her that he hadn't used her.
She blinked against the tears that threatened, her eyes stinging with the effort, her heart breaking with each passing second. She kissed his cheek, and his hand immediately dived into her hair, palming her head and holding her to him. “P-please don't make this harder,” she whispered in his ear. “Not in front of Cleo.”
“Please don't go, Bel.” His voice was ragged with emotion, and she couldn't imagine what he was going through.
She grabbed his hand that held her and kissed his knuckles. “You've got this. And you know we’re all rooting for you.” Tears now threatened, filling her eyes. She needed to go before she couldn't.
“Damn it, Bel, I do love you.”
She pressed her lips together to hold the trembling in and gave a small nod as she fled the apartment.
CHAPTER 18
Bel ran her fingers along the smooth fabric of Gage and Sam’s couch, plopped down, and grabbed a pillow to hug to her chest. The past six weeks had been a whirlwind, and her head still felt like a spinning top that wouldn’t stop.
“So, they want you to go on tour?” Sam asked, handing her a glass of champagne.
Gage sank down next to her on the couch with a glass of his own.
Bel nodded, unable to resist the smile that stretched her lips wide. A university tour. It was insane. “I actually had one at UC Davis as a test run.”
“And they loved it,” Gage stated proudly.
Bel couldn’t believe it. “They loved the seminar, and I got an offer for a book. Once my research is in book form, it'll be used for academic studies across the nation.”
“How was it presenting to a brand-new crowd?” Sam settled into the large leather chair on the other side of the
coffee table, curling her legs up.
“Exhilarating. Almost the most exciting thing I’ve ever done, and I’m really looking forward to more.” Her adventures with Jimmy were never far from her mind.
The news was more than anything she could have ever imagined, and she was beyond delighted, but there was still a heaviness in her heart that she couldn't quite shake. She wondered what Jimmy was doing right now. On a sigh, she lifted her glass, pausing when she noticed that Sam's was filled with water.
“Cheers to my badass sister who fooled everyone into thinking she believed in love.”
“Hey!” She nudged Gage in the shoulder as their glasses clinked together. “It's not that I don't believe—the science and chemistry are there. I just don't necessarily trust it. It doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me. But the two of you are a different story,” she said, giving Sam a curious look.
She studied her sister-in-law for a moment, then a burst of excitement rose in her chest. “Is there a reason you aren't having any champagne?”
Sam covered her stomach with her hands and pressed her lips together in a watery smile. “Yes, but you're the only one who knows.”
“As far as chicks go.” Gage snorted.
Sam shrugged. “Most of our friends don’t know how to keep secrets. Think about it. Addi…Raquel.”
Bel could only laugh.
“It’s still really early in the pregnancy, and we don't want to say anything quite yet.”
A wave of emotions swamped Bel, and she launched at her brother, wrapping her arms around his neck, tears immediate. “You’re going to be a dad!”
His grin was the biggest she'd ever seen it. “Can you believe it, sis? I'm probably going to screw the kid up.”
She threw him an incredulous look. “You're going to be an amazing dad. So amazing that Mr. D.C. Cutler's going to have to step up his game if he wants to keep pace.”
The pride and contentment and joy in her brother's eyes warmed her heart in unimaginable ways.
Now this was love.
The love between Gage and Sam, the love he clearly felt for his unborn child, and the love she had for her big brother, who had always been there for her.