by MK Meredith
His was a love that never faltered.
And neither had her dad's.
It wasn't that she didn't believe.
Jimmy had made her see how strong love could really be.
“I don't even know what to say. Congratulations!”
She drained her glass and, with her fingers over her lips, released a small burp. “But when can we tell everyone? There needs to be a party. Raquel’s going to be in heaven.”
She nudged her brother again. “So, will Dad. Grandpa D.C. I can't wait to get a load of him in his element.”
Gage rolled his eyes. “He’s going to be determined to make this kid like him more than it likes me.”
“But that's just it. He'll try, but that baby won't love anyone more than he or she loves its mom and dad.”
“So, what about you, Auntie Bel?” he murmured. “Have you talked to Jimmy?”
Her heart squeezed at the sound of his name. “No.” And the pain of it throbbed in her chest like a thumb under a hammer. “He’s got a lot on his plate. He’s fighting for Cleo and clearly isn't comfortable sharing it with me.”
“Is that what this has all been about? The fact that he wasn’t comfortable sharing what was going on with his custody battle?” Sam asked.
“He doesn’t trust me. That’s not love. I knew he was fighting for Cleo, that she was in a bad spot. I didn’t know about his brother, but of course, I don’t blame him for his death though it killed me to see that he clearly blames himself.”
“Do you love him?” Gage bumped her thigh.
“Yes. More than I ever dreamed possible.”
“Then what are you doing, Bel? You gave me a hard time about being an ass about Sam because you were lonely. You’ve always wanted someone special. You found him.”
She studied him. “What would you have done if Sam wouldn’t have trusted you about Ethan? If she kept you out of it?”
His eyes flickered with an emotion she recognized immediately.
“Exactly,” she said.
Sam settled on the arm of the couch next to Gage and rested her arm around his shoulders. “Like he’d have given me a choice.”
“That’s just it. I can’t force Jimmy to trust me, and I don’t want to. I don’t want a halfway love. If I’m going to risk falling, I need it all. Otherwise, I’m too scared I’ll be too easy to walk away from.”
“Bel, he’s not Mom.” Gage squeezed her hand.
“I second that,” Sam said softly. “But what’s more? You aren’t risking falling in love. You’ve already fallen.”
J immy unwrapped a printed canvas and leaned it against the wall of the Malibu Country Mart Art Gallery. Stepping back to take a look, he tried to figure out exactly how he got to this point.
Raquel was a force to be respected. Of that, he had no doubt. She didn’t just know people who knew people. She was the people.
An art show.
For a split second, he’d considered using his full name, James Callahan, but when he heard Jack’s voice in his memories, it was Jimmy every time.
So, Jimmy Callahan…Life and Love in the Pursuit of Happiness would be the new featured collection in Malibu’s most exclusive gallery.
He wished Bel could see it and pulled in a breath against the crushing weight of her absence. She’d crossed his mind no less than every other second of every single day. The love in his heart only grew stronger, and the time apart only showed him how integral she’d become to his very breath.
He checked his watch for the tenth time that morning. Cleo would be eating lunch right around now. He’d been fighting tooth and nail to get custody, but he was fighting past sins that weren’t easily erased. Until he could figure out how to get her into his care, his mind was constantly tracking where she’d be at what time. And in and around work, he’d drive by her school and drive by the foster home she was staying at to make sure she was okay.
And outside of his weird helicopter-uncle tendencies, he spent every free moment he could with her. She was strong. The strongest Callahan he knew, and he couldn't be prouder.
The sound of a clearing throat had him spinning around.
Margo shifted from one foot to the other with a wary tightness about her eyes. She looked tired, but her hair was clean, and her face had color to it. That alone had given her ten years back.
It was the best he'd seen her look in a couple years.
“I was told I could find you here.”
He dipped his chin, bracing for whatever she had to say. “I loved Jack.”
“I know you did,” she said softly. “And I love Cleo.”
He nodded because though he believed it to be true, the pain and fear his niece had faced should never have happened, no matter how much the adults in her life were hurting.
“I heard you just finished rehab?” His voice grated against his ears with emotion.
She stared at the floor, then her eyes flickered back to his. He could tell it was hard, but her determination shone in the slight lift of her chin and the hitch in her shoulders. “I broke when Jack died, but I loved him so much I couldn’t hate him for leaving us…so instead I hated you.”
The words he needed to say clogged his throat with a wave of too many emotions.
“I should have been there,” she insisted. “I was his wife. I should have been there. I should have demanded that he get the help he needed…for us…me…and Cleo.”
She took a tentative step forward. “He died because of his own actions. I don't know how or why we'd lost him along the way, just as I can't explain how I lost myself even with Cleo standing in front of me, begging me. Begging me to not leave her alone, to not let the bad guys into our home, to not lock myself in my room to cry.”
Her lips wavered with the shame of it all. “I'm admitting myself back into rehab. I'm not ready.”
“But Cleo.” He reached out for Margo as if holding on to her would keep Cleo close.
She raised a hand, then settled it against her chest. “I'm signing a power of attorney for custody over to you for Cleo’s care.”
All the air left his chest, and he froze. Afraid to move, afraid to speak, to even breathe. “Margo, I—”
“She needs you. And I need you to fix all the damage I've caused. The power of attorney leaves the courts out of it. I know it's not fair, but you’re our only hope, Jimmy Callahan. And please, ask Bel to forgive me. Raquel came and visited me at the hospital.”
His chuckle was low and raw. “Of course, she did.”
“She told me how wonderful Bel was and about her background. She’s a psychologist? That’s good. I think she’d be really good for Cleo.”
She nodded with conviction as if making a final decision, and it left him nervous.
“Margo, I don’t know what to say.”
“No matter what I’ve ever said to you, you have always been there for me, Jimmy. I didn’t deserve it, but you were.”
“And I always will be. And, listen, we’ll get clear on a regular visiting schedule, and when you get out—”
She put her hand up with a chuckle of her own. “One day at a time, Jimmy. Just promise me you’ll love my little girl the way I was supposed to.”
“I promise.”
He put a hand against the wall for support as he tried to handle the rush of feelings threatening to overwhelm him.
“So why haven't you fixed it yet?” She looked around at the canvases lining the walls. “I know it's none of my business, but I was just wondering.”
He shook his head in confusion. “Fix what? The blow-up with Bel?”
“I owe you an apology for that to. I was so miserable I couldn't stand to see you happy even though I know you've missed Jack just as much as I have.”
The image of his kid brother’s grin back when they found happiness even in the worst of times popped into his mind. “Cleo helps with that.” His voice was gruff.
Margo’s eyes glistened. “I see him every time I look at her. I think instead of finding the jo
y in it, I tried to make myself numb against it.” This time, tears did fall. “I love her so much, though she’ll probably never believe it.”
Jimmy put his arms out, and to his surprise, she stepped in and laid her head on his chest. “I have it on good authority that the bond, the love between a child and her mother, is the strongest force there is and full of forgiveness.”
“Am I ever going to be okay?” she whispered.
“You already are. You've made sure that Cleo is safe. You’re getting the help you need, and you have family that loves you. You’re going to be okay because you’ve finally returned.”
“Thank you, Jimmy. Now it's your turn.” She stepped away. “It’s time for you to forgive yourself.”
The ache of it all swamped him. “I should have been there.”
“He should have been there. His death wasn’t your fault any more than my breakdown was. You’ve always been the protective big brother…to all of us. It’s time to use some of that instinct on yourself.” She grabbed his hand. “I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. It’s time to go fix this with Bel.”
He rubbed at the ache in his chest at the mention of her name. “She doesn't want to be with me, Margo. Just leave it alone.”
“No, now you don't get to tell me that. I can't remember shit from that night, but I remember how she looked at you. No woman looks at a man like that if she isn't all in.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair and turned back to his canvases for the art gallery. But the intended distraction was ironic as Bel’s face looked back at him from almost every piece. “She doesn't believe me. She thinks I don't trust her, but I was just trying to protect her.”
“From me,” Margo said.
“And me. She has just enough doubt that she's not willing to risk it.”
Margo laughed, and for a second, he worried that she was losing it.
“Then show her, you big lug.” She swung her arm out to encompass the array of art pieces for his show. “How you feel about her is staring you right in the face. You have an incredible…incredible talent. All of these pieces tell a story. Life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. Just make sure she comes to your show. She’ll see.”
She turned to leave.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
She smiled the way she used to when Jack was alive and she was full of promise. “Child services is going to accompany me while I go pick up Cleo from school and give her an important gift.”
“Gift?”
She nodded, an expression on her face that he hadn't seen in years but one that gave him more hope than he’d felt in a lifetime.
“You.”
CHAPTER 19
Bel yanked open her front door, hoping to stop the incessant pounding.
Gage barged on through. “Good, you're dressed.”
She threw her hands out in exasperation. “Yes, I'm fairly trustworthy when it comes to dressing myself every day.”
“Don't be a smartass. We’re running late.”
“Late for what? I can't go anywhere. I have a lot of packing to do. My schedule is set so that I have everything ready to go, and I'm not running behind.”
Her first out-of-state tour stop was in a couple of days, and she was making sure that she was prepared for anything. Well, at least as much as she could be.
Then she found out the launch of her book would fall right in the middle of the yearlong appearances, and the publisher was working on setting up a whole event. She’d felt as though she’d been hit over the head with how fast everything had moved since March.
“There’s somewhere important you need to be,” he said, ushering her to the door.
“Where are we going?”
“You'll see. Addi and Sam and the crew are already there, well, except for Chase. She’s out of the country again.”
Bel was envious of her new friend’s destination travels.
“Ferrara, Italy, I believe. Something with a Huntington House hotel opening. There was a whole mess-up with the manager and a language barrier, but a businessman there named Drago DeLuca is helping her out.”
“That’s fortuitous.” She doubted her luck would ever work out as well. Grabbing her bag, she followed Gage to his car. “You're being awfully mysterious about this.” She didn't want to ask too many questions. She was leaving in a few days after all. Maybe they were throwing her a going-away party. She certainly wasn't going to be the one to ruin that surprise.
But as they got closer to Malibu Country Mart, her suspicion began to grow. “Why’re we going here?” Jimmy had a gallery opening, but she’d decided not to go. The last thing he'd want to see on such a special day was her face. That she was sure of.
“I always thought you were quick.”
“Turn the car around, Gage.”
“Sorry, everyone's expecting us.”
“I am not going to Jimmy's show. That is a special occasion, and I'm certainly not going to ruin it by showing up.”
Her brother threw her side eye that was full of judgment and a little bit of don't be a jackass. “You're going because the Cutler family are not assholes. We support our friends and we support our family.”
She recognized his tone. When he got like this, there was no arguing against him. It's one of the reasons he'd made it so far as an actor. If he wanted something, he made it happen.
Sam knew. Theirs was not an easy story, but they were now happily married and having a baby together. Gage was a risk-taker, a man of action.
Like Jimmy.
Her palms were sweaty with apprehension, and she wrung them together at her waist. As they stepped through the doors and her eyes focused, she was overcome by the surreal experience of seeing her face staring back at her ten times her size.
“Excuse me.” A waiter approached. “Can I offer you an eggnog? I was told you get the big glass.”
Bel blinked twice, then against any logic or common sense, burst out laughing.
Her heart flooded with the memories of all her adventures with Jimmy, starting with the moment she’d first met him and wanted to dump eggnog over his head. And she would have, too, if she hadn’t been so thirsty.
Accepting the offered glass, she took a sip. “What’s going on?” The gallery walls were covered in large black and white photograph canvases of Malibu, of Cleo…and of her.
Gage clinked his glass of eggnog to hers in a toast.
Addi giggled. “I have a toast to go with that.”
Sam, Raquel, and Bel all turned to their feisty friend in unison. “No!”
The weight of reality settled upon her shoulders as she looked at the growing crowd.
Sam slid her arm around her. “You okay?”
“I’m confused and trying to figure out if I should be embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed, darling? That makes about as much sense as you being embarrassed about your book deal. Right now, you should be in awe at the naked display of love.” Raquel took a delicate sip from her glass as her husband, Martin, pulled her into his side.
“We’re very proud of you,” Martin added.
Her father joined the group.
“Dad, when did you get here?” Gage asked.
“I was right behind you. You better work on your situational awareness, son. You’re going to be a father soon.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Gage shook his fist in a mock threat. “I’ll give you situational awareness, old man.”
Bel broke away from her family and friends to walk through the show. The title was Life and Love in the Pursuit of Happiness, and the beauty she saw left her breathless.
The photos were angled in such a way that it offered more of a feeling than simply something to look at. As she walked, she was taken on a tour of the most beautiful things about Malibu, then laughed with Cleo as she soared through the sky on a swing…
As she continued, she recognized her adventures. The photographs weren’t focused on the event but rather on her. What she was doing was the faded back
drop, but she was center stage.
Her head spun, and she pressed her hand to her stomach.
Her smile, her eyes…and that was when she saw it. The photographs told a story.
A love story.
Hers.
Love shone from her eyes, glowing with increasing intensity.
She set her huge glass of eggnog down on a nearby tray, laughing at the sight of it next to the small, chic shot glasses with a sprinkle of cinnamon. There were also mini Malibu rum shots, sparkling water and raspberries, martini-glass shrimp cocktails, bacon and bruschetta squares, and mini chocolate eclairs that made her think of Addi.
“First you want all the eggnog, now you barely take a sip? This is why they say women are impossible to understand.” Jimmy’s voice rolled along her skin like warm velvet just as it had since the first time she’d heard it.
She swore her heart stopped for a split second before beating with renewed life.
“I was hoping you’d come.”
“I didn’t want to ruin your show.” She turned to him…and that was her first mistake. He looked magnificent. Dressed in black from head to toe, his shirt rolled revealing his tattoos, and making her yearn to follow the lines she’d come to love…with her tongue and lips and fingers…
“Ruin it? Professor, you’re the star.”
She didn’t know where to look, and her eyes flitted around until finally settling on his.
And that was her second mistake.
“I love you, Jimmy.” The words flew from her mouth before she could stop them.
He stepped toward her, but she put her hands up, stopping him from yanking her into his arms as the expression on his face promised.
“Wait. I love you, but I know me. I know I’ll never fully believe in a love where there isn’t any trust.”
His jaw flexed. “You’re being stubborn.”
“I’m not,” she insisted.
“No?” He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “Look around you, woman. You may be the expert in love, but you’re blind when it comes to you. The truth is staring you right in the face.” Grabbing her by the shoulders, he turned her to stand head-on and face how much he loved her.
There in front of her was the photo from her chaise lounge with the mask on her face.