The Last Christmas Cowboy

by Maisey Yates

  Yeah, he really hadn’t thought this through. Or thought at all about how impossible it was going to be to ignore the Dalton contingent. They were everywhere.

  They were... They were West’s family. Somehow.

  They’d never been his. But somehow, they were.

  You never spoke to any of them. You could have. You didn’t.

  He was not having this breakdown right now. There would be ample time. They’d been living across town from each other for years. There was no reason for it to all come to a head here. Hell, sometimes they were all in the same damn grocery store. It was just, they weren’t usually wearing matching suits. Which did make the whole thing a little bit harder to ignore.

  Then Pansy and Ryder started to walk down the aisle, and he determinedly put his focus on them. Decided that he wasn’t going to think about his own shit anymore. There was no time for that. Not here. Pansy was getting married. But still, he found himself looking at Rose, and he felt...something. His whole family was here. And so was Rose. And all of it just seemed...

  His family.

  He had never thought of them that way before.

  They were the Daltons.

  He’d had a family.

  His mom had been his family. She had... She had sacrificed for him. Had given up her dreams for him.

  And then she had died. She had never gotten to be in that space where it was any easier. She had never found love. She had never gotten to be free of the millstone around her neck that was...this kid that she’d been saddled with because Hank hadn’t taken responsibility for his actions.

  No, they weren’t his family.

  His mother had been his family. And that was it. There was nothing more to say.

  There never would be. He would not allow Sammy and her big, dewy eyes to make him feel guilty about anything. He didn’t have to give answers to the questions in McKenna’s gaze. He just didn’t. He didn’t know the woman. He didn’t owe her a damn thing.

  He didn’t owe any of them anything.

  He gritted his teeth against all the emotion that was rising up inside of him. Things he didn’t have a name for. Things he didn’t like at all.

  And he focused on West and Pansy. On the miracle that was the two of them saying their vows. Looking at each other like two people who had never lost. Who had never been hurt. He knew that wasn’t the case. Not for either of them.

  It was a hell of a thing.

  And the day was about them. He was determined to let that be true.

  When the wedding was finished, when they had kissed and been pronounced husband-and-wife, the island tables were cleared, and everything for the reception was set up.

  There was a band, and Colt picked up his guitar and started to play country music, like he did at family gatherings. Colt wasn’t necessarily big on performing music, but the guy didn’t have a shy or modest bone in his body. And Logan had a feeling it was all the same to him, riding a bull in front of a crowded stadium of people, a ride that might be televised on national TV, playing a guitar for family at a barbecue, or playing it now in a hall full of people.

  The song was fast and fun, and couples went out onto the dance floor in droves. Including McKenna and her husband, Grant Dodge, Gabe and his fiancée, Jamie. Jacob, his wife, Vanessa, and their baby.

  His nephew.

  That hit him uncomfortably.

  Then there was his half brother Caleb, who was dancing with his stepdaughter Amelia, who he supposed was his niece. Caleb’s wife, Ellie, looked on with a sweet smile on her face. Logan turned away from the scene.

  And there was Rose.

  “Dance with me,” he said.

  “Sure, cowboy,” she said.

  She didn’t seem embarrassed at all, and she went into his arms with ease. It was a quick dance, so it didn’t require him to hold her too close. A blessing, because if he had to do that, he might’ve embarrassed them both.

  “I hope Sammy didn’t bother you too much earlier.”

  “Look, she’s not an idiot. Sammy knows more about me than a lot of people do. And, she’s pretty insightful at that. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that she picked up on it.”

  “I think McKenna might have, too.”

  “Yeah, it’s that thing of having us all in the same room. But look. This isn’t about me. It’s about West and Pansy.”

  “I know,” she said softly. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Look, my blood isn’t exactly news to me. I understand that it’s a point of interest for the rest of you. But I made my decisions about what I was going to do with the Daltons a long time ago. I’m sticking to it.”

  “All right,” she said.

  “I want to dance, not talk,” he said.

  What he really wanted to do was lead her out of the barn, and find someplace quiet. Kiss her. Strip her naked. Yeah, that was what he wanted. What he wanted to do was bury himself and all of his problems in her beautiful body, and find his release.

  And when the song changed to something slow, he thought about suggesting it. He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her fully against him.

  “Logan,” she whispered.

  “I don’t care,” he responded.

  But then, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and when he turned, it was to see Hank Dalton coming toward him.

  He froze.

  Because he might have been around his half brothers quite a lot during the course of his life, but he’d never seen Hank Dalton anywhere but at a distance. And the man had certainly never looked at him. Certainly never crossed a room to speak to him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. And he stared at Logan with eyes that matched his exactly. “But I have to ask. Who are you, and who’s your mother?”

  Logan just stood there, stunned.

  “I don’t think this is the time,” Rose whispered.

  But it was that, that soft denial, that said more than his answer ever could have.

  “Who is she?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Logan said. “She’s dead.”

  “You’re Jane Heath’s son,” he said. “You’re my son, aren’t you?”

  And that was when he realized that everyone on the dance floor had stopped. Everyone was staring.

  All this had come home to roost and in public no less.

  Well, wasn’t this a shit show.

  “This is West and Pansy’s wedding,” Logan said. “Not a family reunion. So maybe we save the conversation for another day.”

  “I’m your father,” Hank said. “I’m sure of it. I remember her. And I was really sorry to hear that she died. I didn’t know she had a son that could’ve been mine, though.”

  “You know what, Hank,” Logan said. “It’s real interesting to meet you right about now. But this isn’t news to me. I gather that it is to you. I’m not sure how.”

  His gut twisted with the knowledge. That Hank hadn’t known he was his. He was sure that he would have. How could he not have? How could he not have known? Given that his mother had been offered that payoff.

  None of it made sense, and he didn’t want to sort it out now, but he couldn’t deny the fact that Hank looked shocked. That he looked like he hadn’t known. Hadn’t expected this.

  “I didn’t know,” Hank repeated. “I didn’t know about you.” He shook his head. “Where did you grow up? Who took care of you?”

  Rose stepped in front of him. “We did. We took care of him. And it’s not...”

  “What the hell?” That came from West, who had crossed the space between them and was now standing directly in front of Logan. “You knew? You knew all this time? You knew that I had come back here looking for family, and we... We’ve been having dinner together. You knew and you didn’t tell me.”

  “Because I haven’t told anyone,” Logan said. “And I
haven’t admitted a damn thing. Look, you had to come here and make your own decisions about what you wanted to do with the Daltons. I grew up here. I made my decisions a long damned time ago. And I made my family. I don’t know why anybody wants to have it out here and now.”

  “How could you just keep it a secret like that?” Pansy asked. “I brought your half brother home to you, and you just kept it a secret.”

  “Yeah,” Logan said. “It was my secret to keep. I don’t owe any of you anything. And I don’t owe you any damned explanations for my behavior. It’s not up to you what I do or how I handle this. But hey, here you go. Here’s your wedding gift. I’m a damn half brother.”

  “Were you just never going to tell me?”

  “West,” Logan said. “You marrying Pansy brought you about as close to me as anything could have. I didn’t figure it mattered.”

  “It matters,” West said. “I...I threw everything aside for Emmett, because he’s my blood. I came back here to Oregon looking for family, because the Daltons are my blood, imperfect or not. You knew that. You knew all that, and you didn’t confide in me.”

  “Have your wedding,” Logan said. “Have your wedding, and enjoy yourself. Don’t make it about me. We’ll talk when you get back from your honeymoon.”

  “You expect me to just go on like this didn’t happen?”

  “It doesn’t change anything. I went to high school with them,” he said, pointing at Gabe, Jacob and Caleb, who were staring. “It wasn’t like we had some supernatural connection. We didn’t even ever talk.”

  “This is my fault.” It was Tammy Dalton who stepped forward then, a petite blonde with Dolly Parton’s sense of style. “I’m the one who talked to your mother. I didn’t know who she was, and I didn’t want to. I gave her money and I sent her on her way. Hank didn’t know.”

  Her words hit Logan like a punch to the gut.

  “He didn’t know,” he echoed.

  It didn’t change anything, though. Didn’t change his mother’s pain. It didn’t bring her back, didn’t make any of this better.

  It didn’t matter.

  It couldn’t.

  “No,” Tammy said. “He never knew. And it’s something that we’ve been dealing with, the two of us, because we hurt each other in a lot of ways, but we hurt other people with it. And I’m sorry, I’m so very sorry.” She choked up. “Now it’s ruining West’s wedding...”

  “My wedding isn’t ruined,” West said.

  “I...I don’t know what to say to this,” Logan said. “And it’s not the right time to be saying anything. This wasn’t supposed to happen today.” He looked at West and Pansy when he said that.

  “And I’m sorry,” Hank said. “Because everything I did more than thirty years ago just keeps coming up and up again. Just keeps coming back to bite... Well, everyone else in the ass. All these things that I did. And no matter how many times I say I’m sorry, I just still...keep having to look at how I hurt people. And I don’t mean to say that to make you sorry for me. It’s just... I can’t seem to be sorry enough. And you’re right, you don’t owe me a thing. But I suspect I owe you an awful lot. So if you’ll let me... If you’ll let me, I’d like you to be part of this family. We are not perfect. We’re still finding out how not perfect we are. But we’re trying. We’re trying to be a family.”

  Logan pulled away from Rose, and he turned and walked away from all of it. Out of the barn. Outside.

  He heard footsteps behind him, and he expected it to be Rose. But when he turned, it was McKenna.

  “What?” He sounded mean. He didn’t care.

  “I just wanted to say, that... I didn’t have anyone, either. I mean nobody. I came here to get money off Hank. I didn’t come here to find a family. I didn’t give a shit about my brothers. I didn’t care at all about Hank Dalton. I grew up in foster care. My mom’s not dead, she just didn’t want me. And I...I didn’t expect anything. I didn’t want it. I came here, I started working for the Dodge family, and I met Grant. I got a whole lot more than I bargained for there. And then... And then I met Hank. And he told me to leave. He offered me money. And I was... I was devastated. Because it turned out that part of me really did just want a family. I thought that I was independent and strong, and that I didn’t need anyone. And then it turned out I needed a whole lot of someone’s. So maybe you do, too. I don’t know. But speaking as someone who never had anyone, who came into the Dalton family... I think you should give them a chance.”

  “You don’t understand,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I had someone. I had a family. I had my mother. She loved me. And she died. Hank hurt her, McKenna. I’ll never forgive him for that. I don’t expect I should have to.”

  And this time, when he walked away, nobody came after him. And he did his best not to feel disappointed by that.

  * * *

  LOGAN WAS GONE, Pansy was livid, and West was fit to be tied. Rose felt like she was split in half. Because part of her desperately wanted to go after him, and another part of her figured she needed to stay at her sister’s wedding reception and deal with the intense amount of drama that was happening.

  “You knew,” Pansy said. “You knew that he was West’s brother.”

  She understood. Her sister could only feel defensive of the man she loved. The man she was afraid might be hurt by this.

  But Rose felt the same.

  Logan had protected his mother with everything he had. Logan had felt rejected by the Daltons. He owed them nothing.

  “He didn’t want to make today about him,” she said. “And he didn’t. Hank’s the one who did that. Logan doesn’t deserve your anger.”

  The Daltons were having a heated discussion among themselves, which Rose had the sense was common in that group.

  “She’s right,” West said. “Look, I handled it how I did but he doesn’t owe us or me anything. He had a different life. That’s the thing. We all had different lives.”

  “Whatever Logan wants to do is up to him,” Ryder said. “Let’s get back to the wedding.”

  And they did, to the best of their ability. Rose felt torn because it was her sister’s wedding, but knowing Logan was in pain made it impossible for her to enjoy herself.

  It took another two hours for the guests to disperse and then for the Daltons to go home. It had been decided that today was not the day for anyone to try and enforce a family reunion.

  “I should go talk to him,” West said.

  “No,” Rose said firmly. “You go on your honeymoon. He’ll be here when you get back. I’ll talk to them.”

  She knew that the way she had taken the lead on this issue said a lot. But still, it wasn’t anything her family seemed willing to call her on at the moment. And she was going to go ahead and take that. If there were hard conversations to have, and there were, they could wait until after the dust settled. They could wait until after the wedding was over. Until after Pansy and West returned from their honeymoon.

  Yes. It could wait. It could all wait.

  For now, it was a wedding. And it was Christmas Eve.

  And there was a big stack of presents with Logan’s name on it, and she was going to make sure he got them.

  They saw the bride and groom off with great fanfare, and then Rose began to fill a plate with leftover dinner from the buffet table.

  “Hungry?” Ryder asked.

  “No,” she said, stubborn. “I’m taking some food to Logan and I’m going to see how he’s doing.”

  The glare she gave everyone came with a warning.

  “You’re going to go talk to him?” Jake asked.

  “Yep,” she said, daring him to comment.

  The girls, for their part, were looking in other directions because they suspected Rose’s deeper connection to Logan, and obviously weren’t going to be the ones to confirm anything.

  “Maybe I should go,” R
yder said. “He’s my friend.”

  “He’s my friend,” Rose said. “I work with him all day every day. I... He’s my friend.”

  That seemed to shut her brother up, and set him back a little bit. He didn’t say anything, though. Not as she took a plate of food and beers and loaded them up into the truck.

  She drove across the property and picked up all the ingredients for the cookies, concealing them in a tote bag, then hauled it all to Logan’s cabin. Gathering her items, she tromped up the porch with her arms full, banging on the door with her foot.

  The door jerked open, and there was Logan, his suit jacket gone, the tie gone as well, his shirt unbuttoned halfway down and untucked from the black slacks.

  This was a whole different kind of hot.

  Him all angry and disheveled. She had never particularly thought about the way that suits looked on men. But today had been quite educational, and this was yet another moment of pure fascination. “What are you doing here?”

  “I brought you dinner.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “It’s Christmas,” she said softly.

  “You know I don’t like Christmas,” he said, his voice rough.

  And what a mess of a Christmas it had been. Everything had gone wrong. Everything. And this pain he’d hidden for so many years had been dragged out in the open with a full audience.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “I know you didn’t want that to happen. I just... Let me try to make it better?”

  “You can’t.”

  “Then can I make you feel better for a while?” She shifted. “My hands are full and I’m freezing. This dress is pretty, but it’s not doing anything to keep me warm. Can I come in?”

  “Where does Ryder think you are?”

  “Ryder knows where I am.”

  She let that truth settle between them.

  “So anyway. Food.”

  “I don’t know what all this is going to mean. If everyone is pissed at me. West married Pansy. He’s part of the family.”

  “Not the way that you are. Not to me.”

  “That’s awfully sweet of you, Rose. But still...”