Conviction (Consolation Duet #2)

by Corinne Michaels

  I turn and fire burns through my veins. “I think you want to believe that. It’s easier for you to walk away this way. Make me the bad guy so you can deploy and carry out your life without having to worry about me. I’m not the bad guy here. None of us are. Aaron is moving out soon. He wanted to give me and Aara some space so we can adjust and figure out a life.”

  “Did he tell you he’d let you go?” Liam fires off.

  “No.”

  “I’ll never know for sure, Natalie. I’ll always wonder if you really loved me or if I was just the consolation prize. So take the six months and figure it out. Know that no matter what, when I get back I’ll be hoping you’re there. If you are, I’ll marry you. I’ll do anything you want to prove how much I want you.”

  My heart rate quickens, and I wait for him to say more.

  “This isn’t about me fighting for you. I know you keep saying I’m giving you up, but I’m not. I’ll never stop hoping you’ll still choose me when this is all over. I just can’t watch you decide. I see the way he looks at you. He’s made it clear he wants you back. I never wanted to lose you in the first place.”

  I grip his shirt and pull myself to him. “You never will.”

  “I hope that’s true. You have no idea how much I want that to be the case.”

  “Have faith in us, Liam.”

  He presses his lips to the top of my head. “I do, sweetheart. I just need a minute.”

  Liam walks me back to the party with his hands in his pockets. Both of us keep our heads down. I don’t know how I’ll endure six months of not knowing. But I do have faith in us, and I won’t let that falter. I have to make him believe me. As we approach the deck, Aaron is standing there watching us.

  “Hey.” He looks at both of us and guilt eats at me. “I woke up and your mom said you all headed to the lighthouse.”

  “Yeah, I came upstairs but you were asleep. Jackson proposed to Catherine and he asked us all to come,” I explain, hoping he’ll drop it.

  He looks toward the ocean. “Where’s everyone else?”

  “They’re coming. Do you feel better?”

  Aaron looks at Liam with hate in his eyes. “I did until now.”

  “Stop it,” I chastise him. “I’ve been honest with you. I’m not sneaking behind your back and doing God knows what while we were still married. I’m not keeping half truths or secrets.”

  “I thought you would give us time before you moved in on her again?”

  Liam steps forward, pushing me behind him protectively. “I wish you’d seen the wife you love so much when she found out about your girlfriend. The pain in her eyes, the way she cried and then drank herself stupid. Or maybe you could’ve seen the way she wanted to kill Brittany after she found out about her pregnancy. My word means something to her . . . does yours?”

  I never told Aaron about the baby. I wanted to see if he was really lying about his relationship with Brittany. So much for that plan.

  Liam stares Aaron down, and I push him back, but he doesn’t budge.

  “What?” Aaron asks.

  “You didn’t tell him?” Liam turns to me with his jaw slack.

  The blood drains from my face leaving me colorless. As much as I wanted to not mention the baby because I wanted him to tell me, I also didn’t want to acknowledge it. Aaron and I had a host of fertility issues, but the main one was me. I have PCOS, therefore I was the biggest contributing factor. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome causes my hormones to constantly be unbalanced and renders me practically infertile. My doctor explained even if I could get pregnant, I needed to be aware I was very high risk.

  “I didn’t know how,” I mutter.

  “Lee, look at me.” Aaron steps forward, and my heart begins to sputter. It hurts all over again.

  Liam’s eyes implore me to tell Aaron. “Acknowledging the baby to him is a reminder that it’s me who couldn’t have a baby. I didn’t want to face that so soon.”

  He nods and then I turn to Aaron. “I know it all. I know about your relationship you keep telling me is nothing. And I know about the baby you and your girlfriend were having.” I look at the now practically empty home except for my parents and Reanell. “Now’s the time to be brutally honest because there’s nothing that can hurt me more at this point.” Aaron sits on the step and now I wait.

  “I think this is something you and I should discuss privately.”

  I half laugh. “I didn’t get that luxury finding out. I had to be in a crowded bar with all of our friends when I found out that you, the man I would’ve never imagined, cheated. I had to stand there and have her tell me about how much she loved you. And while you may not have loved her the way she did, I saw her pain.” My voice is low, but he cringes.

  “All I could think about was you,” he says, not fully admitting what he did. “So you’re going to throw it all away? Our whole life?”

  And there it is. For the first time, he’s not denying or circumventing how deep their relationship was. “Did you know she was pregnant?”

  “Yes,” Aaron says, barely audible.

  No matter how much I love Liam, this still hurts. Aaron wasn’t just some guy. He was my partner and the one person who promised to love me and honor me. I was guilt-ridden after he was gone about having any kind of feelings for another man.

  “So was all of what you said a lie? Were you in love with her?” I ask him unsure if it matters at this point.

  Aaron stands, and Liam’s arms hold my shoulders from behind. Here I am between them both. “No, I loved her. It wasn’t even an inch of the love I have for you. Being held over there reminded me of that. I made vows and promises to God and anyone who would listen about the man I’d be when I came home,” he says looking straight into my eyes. “I love you, Natalie. I always have and I always will.”

  “You broke the very core of our marriage.”

  “I can fix it,” he pleads with me. “I fought for you. I lived for you. Please, give us a chance.”

  We stare at each other, and I see the man I promised to love in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. I’m torn in half and burnt to ash. Everything inside of me is dead. How do I do this? How do I break him when he’s already broken? I know that my answer right now will kill him in some form, and if I spare him it’ll be in false hope. Then, the added pressure of knowing Liam will hear whatever I say.

  “I can’t do this with you both,” I finally reply exasperated and overwhelmed. “You’re literally killing me. Inside I’m a mess. I cry all the time, I can’t remember the last time I slept without waking in a pool of sweat. You broke me when I found out. I literally tore everything you touched apart. I don’t know who you are anymore,” I say and clutch my stomach.

  I turn to Liam and prepare to unload on him. “And you. I love you so much it is physically hurting me to be away from you. But you keep pushing me into someone else’s arms. You leave in three days and I’m dying inside. How can you push me away and then know you could get hurt or worse? All I want to do is curl into your arms and you tell me it’s all going to be okay, but you won’t give me that. Instead you tell me we need to spend time apart?” I ask as the tears fall. “I hate what you’re all doing to me. Am I the only one here that sees how fucked up this is?”

  I look to them both and they stand there. I want to throw something, scream, cry, and lose it for once. I’m always the one holding it together. Trying to make our lives easy. I’m a mother, friend, daughter, and lastly I get to be a woman. Well, this time . . . I’m a woman first. I have to give myself a chance to come through this.

  “Sweetheart,” Liam steps forward.

  I put my hand up. “I need a minute,” I say the words that I’ve been biting back. I see the flash of pain across his eyes, but right now I’m going to save myself.

  “No, there are no more minutes.” Liam’s entire body is tight and ready to fight. “I’m done with us taking time. I love you. I would never betray you. You and I make sense. So I’m done shoving you away.”<
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  These two men have the ability to destroy me, and I won’t let that happen. I push past them and head inside. My mother stands with Aarabelle in her arms. Tears fall from her face, and I know she heard it all. I walk over and wrap my arms around them both. Her arm holds me close and Aarabelle puts her head on my shoulder.

  “Dada!” she yells, and I turn to see Liam walking in the house.

  Aaron’s face falls, he turns, and then walks out the door. “Aaron!” I call out and rush onto the beach after him. “Aaron, stop!”

  He turns and pain lances across his face. “You let her call him Daddy?” There’s no judgment in his tone, only hurt and disappointment.

  “No,” I shake my head quickly. “And he never encouraged her. It’s just what she called him.”

  “I can’t . . .” he begins and then stops talking. He walks closer to the water and stops and screams.

  I wait in silence, unsure of what to say or do. You can feel the turmoil rolling off him.

  “Everything I hoped for and lived for is gone,” his voice breaks at the end. Aaron turns and his brown eyes cement me to the ground. “I wanted to die so many times. I could’ve begged at the end for them to kill me, but I lived because I kept seeing your face. Each night I closed my eyes and saw you and imagined what she looked like. Now, I come home and you’re in love with another man. No, not just another man. Liam. My best fucking friend and my daughter is calling him Daddy!” he yells, and it’s my turn to break.

  I step closer to him, the urge to comfort him overwhelming me. “It wasn’t like that. You died in my world, Aaron. There was a paper that said you were gone. No hope of a return. We said our goodbyes, and I grieved.” My hand touches his. “I was dead inside. Then he came to Virginia and made me live again. He brought joy, laughter, and love back to us. Liam didn’t steal anything.” Aaron’s eyes close and I go on. “In your letter, you told me to move on. I wasn’t sure I could at first, and then when things shifted further into more with Liam, I found out about Brittany.”

  “You’ll never know how much I hate myself for sleeping with her.” I touch his face softly and he squeezes my hand. “It was my worst mistake. I felt so incapable of making you happy. Everything was about the baby and I couldn’t cope. Then, I convinced myself while I was gone it never really happened. If I could deny it over and over then maybe, just maybe, we could find a way again. But once again . . . can you see how fucked up I am? Can you see how I don’t even know who I am anymore?”

  “You’re in there, Aaron. You’re not a bad guy, but you can’t keep doing this. You have to deal with everything.”

  “Please, Lee. Save me,” his voice is desperate.

  There are two options right now—I can hold on to the hate and anger toward him or forgive and try to move forward. He made a horrible mistake, but it’s not within me to make him suffer. “I can’t save you. But I forgive you.”

  His eyes snap up and I see a small piece of relief. “Does that mean we have a chance?”

  “Please don’t ask me that. I may have forgiven you, but I don’t want to hurt you. So please, don’t ask unless you’re really ready for the answer,” I implore.

  Aaron reaches his arm out tentatively and we embrace. He needs this, and in a way, so do I. The life we shared together was filled with happy times. There was love and passion, but the end was where we failed. It’s both of our faults the marriage was where it was. I know he wants a chance, but my heart is with Liam.

  “I know what your answer is.” Aaron looks away. “I’m going to stay here for a bit.”

  “Okay,” I reply. “I’m going to make some arrangements for Aarabelle. Liam deploys in three days, and I want to see him off. I want us to do what’s best for her, so I can ask my parents to stay here so you can spend some time with her or they can take her?” I give him a little, hoping he’ll see that while I’m not asking for permission, I’m taking into account his feelings. He is Aara’s father, and I won’t begrudge him the time with her.

  “I’d like to spend some time with her, so if they agree to stay here . . .”

  “I’ll ask,” I smile.

  Aaron nods and looks off toward the water as I head to the house.

  Liam stands on the deck as I advance. “He okay?”

  “I think he’s getting there. That hurt him a lot,” I explain.

  He looks at the sky and then back at me. “I never wanted that to happen. I should get going.”

  “Don’t leave yet,” I request. “I’m going to have my parents stay here with Aaron and Aarabelle. You and I are going to spend your last days here together.”

  Liam’s lips lift as his eyes brighten. He steps closer hesitantly before his fingers graze my cheek. “Are we?”

  “We are, and if you’re a good boy, maybe you can break out that eggroll,” I raise my brow and for the first time it feels normal.

  “I’m not sure you deserve my eggroll,” he jokes.

  I lean close to his ear and use the tip of my fingernail to scrape down his chest. “I think you and I both know you can’t resist me. So, you can go home, and then I’ll be over with a bag soon.”

  Liam’s lips just barely touch my ear. I shiver involuntarily as his breath wisps across my skin. “Don’t bring any clothes, you won’t need them.”

  I close my eyes and try to get myself under control as I now need to get the rest of my plan set. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “I’ll be waiting.” He kisses the side of my cheek and walks off.

  God, I love that man.

  My parents were all too happy to stay at the house with Aarabelle. I explained the situation briefly, and they seemed to understand. Aaron was surly but didn’t say much when I left. Once I arrive at Liam’s, I grab my bag and head to his apartment. He opens the door before I have a chance to knock.

  “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” he grins and leans against the door. His dark hair shines in the sunlight, and his white shirt accentuates his muscles. My mouth waters at the sight of him as my body burns to see it all.

  I lick my lips and drag my bottom lip between my teeth. “Well,” I say pushing my hand on his chest. He doesn’t move, but I shove him a little harder and back him into the apartment. “What are you going to do with me now that you have me?”

  Liam grips my hips and then kicks the door closed. He lifts me into his arms while pressing me against the door. “Do you know how much that dress made me fucking crazy?”

  I nod and tangle my fingers in his hair. “I hoped it would. Nothing else seemed to get you to stop being so stupid.”

  His head rests on mine as we both breathe in each other. “You came to me. You’re here instead of there.”

  My hand pulls his head back so he can look at me. I watch the turmoil flicker through his eyes. “I choose you. I just wish you’d believe me.”

  “Let’s skip the heavy shit. I have an idea.”

  “Now I’m intrigued.”

  “As much as I’d love to strip you down and make love to you for hours,” he pauses.

  “I’m good with that.”

  He laughs and kisses me, but before we can get hot and heavy he shifts back. Liam glances at his watch and puts me down. “We gotta go now.”

  “Go where?” I ask confused.

  Liam smiles and holds me against him. “Trust me?”

  “Always.”

  He takes my hand and grabs a bag by the door. I reach for mine but Liam grabs it before I can reach. I smile at him and he winks. “We gotta hurry.”

  We sit in Robin, and Liam starts her up. My mind starts to wonder if we’re going to Corolla. I would love to spend time with him completely alone and enjoy having that house again. Instead of bugging him, I let him surprise me. We only have a few days before he has to leave, so it’s not like we can be going very far.

  I notice we’re not heading south, and now I’m really curious. We continue to head in the opposite direction, until we pull into the airport parking lot. He’s got to
be kidding me. How the hell can we go anywhere requiring a plane ride? It’s not feasible.

  “Why are we at the airport?” I can’t hold back any longer.

  “Because we’re going on a plane.”

  He parks the car in the garage and exits. I sit here wondering what in the world he has up his sleeve.

  “Lee?” he opens my door and looks at me. “Are you going to get out?”

  “Where are we going?”

  “Jesus, you’re killing me. Just get out of the car.” Liam grabs my hand and lifts me out. He kisses me quickly and then hoists the bags.

  “Did you plan all this from the time I told you I was coming over?”

  “I did . . . are you impressed?”

  More than impressed, I’m in awe. He trusted that I would come to him. So as much as he says he doesn’t know if he can believe me, this gives me the assurance he does.

  We step up to the ticket counter, and we hand over our identification.

  “Welcome, Mr. Dempsey. I see you have two in your party traveling to Charleston.”

  I look over at Liam with a smile. He knows how much I’ve always wanted to go there. The cobblestone streets and little romantic restaurants are all Reanell talks about. She and Mason go there every year, and in passing, I mentioned how much I’d love to have a getaway there.

  “I love you,” I say, feeling overcome with emotion.

  Liam wraps his arm around my back and holds me close. “I love you.”

  “Your flight will be boarding in about thirty minutes so you should head to your gate immediately,” the woman smiles and hands us our boarding passes.

  We head through security, and it dawns on me that I didn’t pack for this. I didn’t grab cute clothes and shoes. I don’t even have enough toiletries. I figured we’d be in his apartment. “I’m not prepared for this.”

  “What?”

  “The trip. I didn’t bring anything I need.”

  Liam smiles and we make it to the gate as they begin the boarding call. “Relax, they have stores in South Carolina. I doubt I have everything either, but all I need is you, and I’ve got that.” He leans in and our lips touch. Everything I was worried about fades away.