A Mother's Love

by Katie Flynn

  Upon receiving his letter he had gone straight to the captain, who had explained his reason for taking Aidan on. ‘I’ve a son, Murray. His name’s Andrew, and when he was a nipper he contracted the polio virus. It turned out to be a bad one, and for a while it looked as though we might lose him. Thank God, he pulled through, but it left him with muscles so weak and bones so fragile the doctors feared he might never walk again.’ He stopped pacing the room and stared Aidan square in the eye. ‘The day you walked into that town hall and started demanding a place in the RAF you reminded me of Andrew. You’re very alike, the two of you, both physically and mentally. You see, despite the doctors’ predictions our Andrew insisted we should try, and after many gruelling months he was finally able to walk, although like yourself he needs help sometimes. He manages his condition well, so that most people wouldn’t ever know there was anything wrong, and that’s because of his attitude.’ He smiled approvingly at Aidan. ‘Something else you’ve got in common.’ He sat down on the opposite side of the desk. ‘And that’s why I thought you deserved a chance. If we’d listened to the doctors Andrew would probably be in a wheelchair, but we never gave up on him, because he wouldn’t let us.’ He looked under the desk at Aidan’s legs. ‘We had a chap like you flying a few years back. All it took to get him straight was a special built-up shoe so that his legs were evenly matched. It might not look pretty, but under your trousers no one will ever know, except yourself of course. I want you to go to my doctor, who will check you’re fit enough before passing you on to a chiropodist who’ll measure you up and order a special shoe for you. Any questions?’

  Aidan had left the captain’s office feeling as though he could conquer the world. The man genuinely believed in him, and had set the wheels in motion to get him into the air. After that initial meeting the rest of his time to date had been a whirlwind of tests, both physical and mental, as well as examinations which were designed to pick off those unfit for aircrew.

  Aidan himself had breezed through the process, and had become the protégé of Captain Mathias, who was determined to see him succeed. Aidan was grateful, he truly was, but the thought of meeting Ellie again on home ground was as appealing as that of flying. He looked down at the hated built-up shoe. It was ugly, with its thick sole and heel moulded into the upper; it was heavy, and reminded him of the shoes he’d seen worn by the monster in the posters advertising the Frankenstein film, yet without it he couldn’t fly the plane properly. He imagined turning up to see Ellie for the first time whilst wearing it. Even though it was almost totally hidden under his trousers, the fact that he walked with barely a trace of a limp would in itself draw the attention of those who knew him well, and they would want to see why. He grimaced. He could not, would not, show Ellie the shoe. He heard his mother’s scolding tones in his head. ‘Pride comes before a fall, our Aidan,’ she would say, but he didn’t care. Anything was better than letting Ellie see that awful thing.

  He looked at the walking cane that he had purchased on his way up to Scarborough. It was made from bamboo and it had a brass top. He and a few of the trainees had had a group photo taken with Aidan standing in the middle, his right hand in the pocket of his flying jacket, the left holding on to his cane. Everyone who saw the photograph remarked that he looked dapper or suave with the cane; he very much doubted anyone would say that about the dreaded shoe. He tapped his chin thoughtfully with his fingers. If he could meet Ellie on the farm, there would be no need for the shoe; in fact, it would just get filthy dirty and be more of a hindrance than a help. But what if she said no? What if she was so used to city life, going to dances, the cinema and such, that she didn’t want to go back to Oxton?

  He stared miserably down at the page before him, then cursed inwardly. This was all a pipe dream! For all he knew Ellie might have a boyfriend. He was sure she would not be short of suitors; she might even have plans for marriage and a life with someone who could offer a better future than a farmer. For no matter how he looked at it, he knew he was destined to take over Springdale. His parents would not be able to tend the animals or the land as the years went by, and besides, he loved farming as much as he loved flying, although for the time being flying was his priority.

  Before the war, he had envisaged renovating the old barn in the back meadow. It wouldn’t take much doing either, he considered: the roof needed some TLC and of course glass would need to be put in the windows, but it already had a water supply, and was not as far from the main road as Springdale itself. It would make a perfect home for newly-weds, intent on bringing up a family. He imagined himself and Ellie there, Ellie by the sink or, more likely, ankle deep in mud herding the cattle back to their meadow. He smiled; that was better! Ellie loved the animals and would want to get stuck in to the farming side of things, and he imagined their children would be the same.

  He cast his eyes to the ceiling, and tried to shake the thoughts from his mind. It did no good to daydream about a future that was far from certain, certainly not when they were so many miles apart.

  He picked up a piece of paper and looked around for his pencil. He would write back to Ellie and fill her in on his news, not that there was much, and suggest a meeting, but only if their paths crossed. Ellie might well be leading a new life, with a boyfriend whom Aidan knew nothing about, but he did not need to hear that news just yet, so he would leave things be and see what came along.

  When reveille sounded, the girls from Ellie’s barracks were up betimes and out on the yard before any other. Corporal Caldecott looked pleased, although slightly suspicious to see such an early, well-turned-out section standing in front of her.

  Ellie tried to keep a smile from forming on her lips. She was very proud of her section, which had empathised with the corporal and deemed it their duty to make her life a little easier. Marching around the yard, Ellie noticed that other sections kept glancing in their direction, and by the time parade was over all eyes were on Section B, who ripped off a textbook salute in perfect unison. When the command came to fall out. Evie was one of the first to come over, her face full of suspicion.

  ‘What’s got into you lot? Bit eager, aren’t you? Tilly told me about Caldecott’s kid and if that’s what’s made you turn into a bunch of robots then I think you’re overdoin’ it a bit.’

  Ellie grinned. ‘Were we really that different from yesterday?’

  Evie’s brows rose towards her hairline. ‘You know damned well you were.’ She eyed her shrewdly. ‘What’re you after?’

  Still grinning, Ellie shook her head. ‘Just because we’re enthusiastic doesn’t mean to say we’re after anything. Not everyone expects to gain something from their actions, you know. Personally speakin’ I’m glad to be home. I am a Liverpool lass, after all.’

  Evie sniffed primly. ‘If you don’t want to tell me then you don’t have to, but it’s not fair on the rest of us, you creepin’ round her like that. She’s goin’ to expect it from all of us.’

  Ellie’s grin disappeared, to be replaced by an irritable frown. ‘We are not creepin’ around anyone! For heaven’s sake, Evie, don’t you feel sorry for her at all? Or is it really all about you?’

  Evie shook her head reprovingly. ‘Not at all, but you won’t find me schmoozin’ up to anyone for extra favours.’

  Ellie fought the desire to say ‘That’s not what I’ve heard’ and said instead, ‘Is that all? Can I go now?’

  Evie relaxed a little. ‘Have you heard off that mate of yours, that pilot chap?’

  ‘Not since telling him that we were going to be coming back to Liverpool. Why?’

  ‘Just wondered. Do you reckon you’ll meet up with him now you’re fully trained?’

  Ellie tried to keep the smile from her lips. She had never met anyone as eager as Evie to find herself a mate she considered worthy. She crossed her fingers behind her back. ‘I promise that if I ever meet him and you’re in the vicinity I’ll introduce you, although I don’t think he’ll be your type.’

  Evie furrowed her brow.
‘Why not? I thought you said he was training to be a pilot?’

  Ellie let a giggle escape. ‘I did, and he is, but … oh, never mind. If I don’t see you before, good luck for tonight.’

  Still looking confused, Evie shrugged. She had no idea what the silly girl was on about or why she found the whole thing so amusing. She supposed it must be the lack of breeding. People from the slums weren’t likely to be intelligent or come from good stock, unlike herself, but rather than get into a debate with someone who, in her opinion, was only half cooked she replied, ‘The same to you,’ before wandering off to join the rest of her section.

  Gwen jogged up behind Ellie. ‘Fancy a stroll round the camp? Kill a bit of time before we go on duty?’ She nodded in the direction of the medical unit. ‘I’ve never been prodded about so much in all my life as when I joined up. What about you?’

  Ellie gave a mirthless laugh. ‘We didn’t have no money growing up, certainly not enough to spend on doctors and dentists and the like. The only time we ever got a doctor out was when me mam was really ill, and even though he did help a little at the beginning, in the end there was nothing he could do. I’m not sayin’ they’re no good, just that they’re not miracle workers.’

  Gwen looked shyly at Ellie. ‘Your poor mam. You must miss her an awful lot.’

  Ellie nodded. ‘Being in the ATS helps, because they keep you busy so you don’t have time to sit and dwell on things. She died around this time last year, so it’s still quite raw, if you know what I mean.’ She gave Gwen a determined smile. ‘She always wanted me to complete my School Certificate, and to get a “proper job”, not to spend my life cleaning and washing for other people the way she did. But things changed when she fell ill, and when she died I left school and took on all her work so I could pay the bills. I know being in the ATS probably isn’t what she had in mind for me, but I still think she’d be proud of me if she could see how I’ve coped since she’s gone. First workin’ on the farm, then joining the ATS.’ She stopped speaking as Evie walked past.

  Gwen rolled her eyes. ‘That reminds me, what did she collar you for just now?’

  ‘She’s been asking about Aidan again. I told her I’d introduce them.’ As the words left her lips, Ellie felt an unpleasant lurch in her stomach.

  Gwen chuckled. ‘Poor Aidan. Why would you do that to him?’

  Ellie shrugged. ‘I just wanted to stop her pestering. Besides, the likelihood of them ever being in the same vicinity is pretty remote. If I meet Aidan it’ll probably be at his parents’ farm or somewhere close to where he’s stationed. You don’t think I was wrong to make her think there was a chance of them meeting, do you?’

  Gwen shook her head decidedly. ‘Nope. It’s her own fault for pestering all the time. Besides, she’ll have found some poor bugger and tied him down before she’s ever likely to set eyes on your Aidan, by which time it will be too late.’

  Later, back in the Nissen hut, Ellie drew her diary out from underneath her pillow and turned to the correct date. Smoothing down the page with the tips of her fingers, she placed the nib of her pencil to the paper and started to write. So here we are at last! Tonight is our first night on duty. I don’t know how the others feel but I’m filled with mixed emotions. I’m a little daunted at the idea of working the night shift, but I suppose we’ve all got to start somewhere. Fingers crossed for a peaceful night.

  Despite what she had written in her diary, however, deep down she had visions of grandeur. How she and the rest of her section would make the history books, as the ones who saved Liverpool from the biggest air raid the country had seen to date. She could see it now: the bell would ring out, sounding the alarm that the city was under attack; the spotter would scan the skies for the enemy and shout out the position of the squadron coming towards them. There would be … oh, seven planes flying in single file within their sights, all enemy, all Heinkels. Ellie herself, being on the height-finder, would look through the binoculars and get the first plane in view before calling out the coordinates to the girls on the predictors, who would, in turn, line up the planes and call out the information. There would be a repetition of the figures, the large shells would be placed in the gun, and the call of ‘On target’ would go up before each shell was fired. She could see the German planes, one by one, being shot down before they reached the city, ensuring that not one single Liverpudlian was hurt as the planes either exploded over the sea or came hurtling down, great plumes of smoke streaking behind them, until they too disappeared beneath the waves. Then there would be wave after wave of bombers, and her section would destroy them all. They would go into the city the next day, so that she might show her friends the sights and sounds of Liverpool, and, being in ATS uniform, they would be recognised as the conquering heroes who had saved the city from damnation. The newspaper stand would scream the headline, Local girl saves Liverpool and destroys three quarters of the Luftwaffe. There would be hearty handshakes, slaps on the back, and drinks all round. Sighing happily at the thought, she looked at the top of the page before replacing the diary underneath her pillow. The date, she was sure, would remain etched on her mind for the rest of her life. It was the first of May, 1941.

  Ellie looked at the scene below her. Everyone was in position, all eyes on the aircraft that were steadily droning their way across the sky. She watched the two women on the height-finder. One of them, she knew, was herself. She listened to the information being yelled out.

  ‘One zero five and a three zero.’

  ‘Range, one one two and a three one, kept on target.’

  ‘One one two and a three on target and a three one kept on target.’

  ‘Engage.’

  ‘Fifteen two hundred … fire.’

  ‘Fifteen two hundred; set.’

  ‘Fifteen two hundred, two tonner … fire!’

  It seemed odd to hear her voice from outside her own body as she continued to shout out orders. She appeared so calm, concentrating solely on the job in hand. She did not turn away from her position, not even for a second, and yet here she was, all alone, high above herself, watching her section putting all they had learned into practice against the enemy for the very first time.

  The German bombers were not far from her now. They appeared to be flying at high altitude, and she smiled: the ack-acks might not be able to reach them at such a height, but neither could the bombers be sure of hitting their targets. She watched them droning their way towards Liverpool; they reminded her of mosquitoes on a hot summer night.

  Something caught her attention, and turning her head she saw a lone bomber coming in from a different angle. It seemed odd that this one pilot was not in formation with the rest of his squadron. The plane was so close now that she could see the German pilot staring straight ahead, apparently unaware that he was being watched. She was near enough to peer into the cockpit, and she saw a photograph of a young woman, her dark hair curled back from her face. She appeared to be holding some sort of bundle. Ellie looked hard at the picture and realised that the bundle was a baby wrapped tightly in a blanket, no more than a few months old. A small child with pigtails, wearing a frock that was far too big for her, clutched her mother’s knees. The pilot’s family, Ellie concluded. Yet how could people as cruel and evil as the Luftwaffe have family?

  She jumped slightly as the pilot raised his hand, gesturing to one of his crew members and jabbing a frantic finger in Ellie’s direction. She could see that he was shouting, and a face appeared at the window behind him, its owner speaking reassuringly to him and waving a dismissive hand towards the window. The pilot was still clearly terrified, so Ellie did something that she had not done since she was a small child. Placing her thumbs in her ears she waggled her hands and stuck her tongue out. She saw a drop of sweat trickle down the side of his face. Slowly, he turned towards her. His eyes rounded as their eyes met and Ellie shook her head disapprovingly. This proved too much for the pilot, who pulled hard back on the stick in front of him, sending the bomber into a steep climb. Ell
ie saw the plane collide with another, and there was a moment’s pause before both planes exploded in mid-air. She gasped, and held a hand to her mouth in horror. What had she done?

  She blinked as she felt solid ground beneath her feet once more. She was looking through the binoculars and shouting the coordinates of the craft in her sight, hearing her figures being repeated even as she was yelling out the position of the next craft. The procession seemed endless, and with information overriding itself Ellie was surprised that none of the orders got lost in the melee. Pushing all thought of the humanity of her targets aside, she got on with her job.

  It had started just before eleven p.m. The alarm bell had sounded and everyone had jumped to attention, all eyes turned towards the heavens where the powerful searchlights criss-crossed the inky dark sky as they searched for the Luftwaffe.

  Ellie had expected one or two squadrons, but when the enemy approached their numbers had blotted out the stars, turning the brightly jewelled sky black. She had stared, her mouth dropping open as she and the girl next to her – she could not remember who it was, just the sound of her voice as she read out her figures – had locked the height-finder on to the first target. They had followed it across the sky and called out the information before going on to the next one. Ellie wondered how many planes had escaped being tracked. She knew that even one plane down was a target saved and that the guns helped force the bombers to fly too high to be successful, but even so, the sight of those planes and the noise they made had demonstrated a power which no one had thought possible.