Lessons of the Heart

by HELEN HARDT

  “This true, Ruthie?” Garth’s maleness permeated the entire prairie. “Is he your beau?”

  “Mr. Mackenzie—”

  “Damn it, stop calling me that!” He gripped her shoulders and turned her. His chiseled face was taut, tense. His bronze eyes burned. “Is this who you want to be with?”

  “Garth, don’t hold me so tightly. Please.”

  He loosened his grip but did not let her go. “I asked you a question.”

  Doc stepped forward. He was clearly no match for Garth, but Ruth admired his fortitude.

  “I need to ask you to leave, Mr. Mackenzie. Miss Blackburn and I—”

  “Are done with whatever business you had tonight,” Garth said. “I need to speak to Ruth.”

  Ruth forced her gaze from Garth’s. She couldn’t say what she had to say when those beautiful eyes were piercing into her. “I wish to finish my outing with the doctor. I will speak with you later.”

  Garth dropped his hands to his sides. Her flesh tingled where he had grasped her shoulders. Burned through her dress, her skin, all the way to her heart.

  “No need to speak later. I came for Mary Alice. She wants you to dine with us tomorrow evening. She has some…questions.”

  “Of course. I’m happy to speak with her. How about six o’clock?”

  “Fine.” His face noncommittal, he turned and walked back toward the house.

  Ruth watched him, unable to turn back to Doc. Garth’s strong back in retreat brought mist to her eyes. His blond locks curled around his neck under his black Stetson. His posterior, taut in his trousers, drew her gaze. She’d seen its beauty unclothed. Natural.

  Oh, he was magnificent. Raw and untamed. And alone. So alone.

  She loved him. She loved his daughter. He may not love her, but he sure needed her.

  “Garth!” Her own voice startled her.

  He turned, his bronze eyes sunken. He did not speak.

  “I…” She took a deep breath. “I need to speak to Doc for a few moments. Would you please wait for me outside the house?”

  He nodded and resumed his walk.

  “I have the feeling I won’t like what I’m about to hear, Ruth,” Doc said.

  “I’m truly sorry, Doc. I can no longer accept your suit.”

  “You’re in love with Mackenzie.”

  She nodded. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “I understand. I’ll see you to the house.”

  Though her legs itched to run to Garth, Ruth allowed Doc to escort her quietly back to her father’s house where Garth stood waiting next to his buckboard and team. Doc tipped his hat to both of them before heading away in his buggy.

  Sudden chills rippled over Ruth’s flesh despite the pleasantly warm evening. Her body trembled, and tiny flutters flew through her belly. Did he still want her?

  “Well”—Garth’s voice was still hoarse from the fire—“what did you want to talk to me about?”

  Ruth swallowed, and then said boldly, “I’ve decided to accept your proposal.”

  His eyes widened. “My proposal?”

  “Well…yes.” Heat flooded her cheeks. “You said you’d marry me to…well, to have me.”

  “What about Doc Potter?”

  “I ended that. I…that is…” Goodness, why did she have to do all the talking? For once, she had no idea what to say.

  “You’ll marry me?”

  “Yes, Garth, I will. If you still want me.”

  He gripped her elbow and rushed her to the door. “Your pa’s inside. He can marry us now.”

  “Now?” What on earth was he thinking? “Now is out of the question, for goodness’ sake. You have to court me first, and then we’ll—”

  “I didn’t offer to court you, woman. I offered to marry you. And I’ll have you. Tonight.”

  Gracious, what had she done? No, he hadn’t offered to court her, but she’d assumed… Lord above, first item on her agenda would be to teach her new husband some manners. Truth be told, courting did seem a bit ridiculous at this point. They’d shared so much already. She loved him, and she was ready to be with him. So ready.

  Pa would never agree. Unless…

  “Garth,” she said, her voice shaking. “Let me speak to my mother and father. You stay out here. Please.”

  Before he could argue, she rushed into the house where her parents were sitting in the front room.

  “Ruth, you look…dazed, dear,” her mother said, smiling. “Must have been some nice walk with the young doctor.”

  Land sakes. The doctor. Well, she’d just set them straight. That’s all there was to it.

  “No, Ma. Doc Potter and I will no longer be seeing each other.”

  “Oh?” Her mother’s eyebrows arched. “Why not?”

  “Because—” She gulped, and her tummy did a somersault. “Because I’m going to marry Garth Mackenzie, that’s why. He’s outside, and we must marry tonight.”

  That got Pa’s attention. “Tonight? Are you out of your mind, daughter?”

  “No, Pa. It must be tonight.” She cleared her throat, summoned her courage. “You see, he and I have had…intimate relations.”

  It wasn’t exactly a lie. Though she and Garth had not engaged in the act itself, they had been intimate on more than one occasion.

  Her mother stood, fire flashing in her blue eyes. “I raised you better than this, Ruth Ellen Blackburn.”

  “I want to marry him, Ma. I love him.” That was no lie. No lie at all.

  Pa stood, his violet eyes glaring. “Did he force himself on you?”

  “No! Goodness no.” Again, no lie. “I went with him willingly. I swear it.”

  Pa inhaled sharply and let it out in a slow stream. He reached for his service book on the mantel. “Bring him in, then.”

  “Charles,” Ma said, touching his arm, “you can’t mean you’re in favor of this.”

  “I’m in favor of nothing, Molly, but the deed is done. Ruth’s choice was made then. I’ll not have my grandchild born out of wedlock.”

  Chapter Ten

  Ruth canceled the last week of school. First she’d let her students out early that fateful day last week. Then she’d canceled today’s classes because she’d been caring for Mary Alice all night. Now, after leaving a note on the schoolhouse that there would again be no more school due to Miss Blackburn’s marriage to Mr. Garth Mackenzie, she sat next to her husband on his hard buckboard, bumping along to his home.

  Their home.

  “I’ll bring you to your pa’s tomorrow after breakfast,” Garth said. “You can get your things packed up then.”

  She nodded. She hadn’t taken anything with her. The ceremony had been mercifully brief, and though her father had shaken Garth’s hand, his face had betrayed his anguish.

  “Is there anything you need?” he asked.

  “Need? What do you mean?”

  “For tonight.”

  “Oh. Yes, I guess. I don’t have anything to sleep in.”

  He chuckled gruffly. “You won’t need anything to sleep in.”

  Her neck warmed and she fingered her collar. “I don’t have much. Just my clothes, a few things in my hope chest. My books, of course. And Miranda.”

  “Miranda?”

  “My mare.”

  Garth nodded. “That it?”

  “Yes.”

  The team plodded on. Ruth stared at the dry open prairie. Dust clouds rose from the wheels as they rolled forward. Green prairie grass grew on either side of the broken trail to the Mackenzie farm. In the distance, Garth’s house appeared and became progressively larger.

  Progressively scarier. Ruth gripped her own thighs, and her fanny bounced against the plank seat. The aroma of stale smoke hung in the air. The fire.

  “I’m sorry,” Garth said. “The smell will fade in time.”

  “I know.” She wrinkled her nose.

  “Behind the barn, on the way to the creek, the grasses are singed black as night.”

  “They’ll grow again,
” Ruth said.

  “Don’t know if my wheat will come up. Too early to tell.”

  Her heart opened to him. To her husband. She unclenched her thigh and laid her hand on his hard muscled one. “Everything will be fine, Garth.”

  He didn’t turn to look at her, but his lips curved into a slight smile. Ruth released a breath. Yes, everything would be fine. One way or another.

  It had to be.

  * * *

  Mary Alice had been happy to hear the news. Joyous, in fact. Ruth felt sure the girl would be calling her “Ma” within a few weeks. Her heart warmed at the idea.

  Safely tucked away, the young girl slept now. Ruth had spoken to her for a few minutes, and Mary Alice had assured Ruth she was feeling better. She looked better, too. Her color was returning, and she’d eaten today. Ruth said a short prayer of thanks as she watched the child’s chest bob up and down in slumber.

  Time to see to her husband.

  Time for her wedding night.

  Garth sat in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee. “Mary Alice all right?”

  Ruth smiled, hoping she hid her trembling lips. “She’s fine. I think…this will be good for her. I mean, I’ll try to be good for her. Be a good mother.”

  “I know you will.” He scooted his chair out from the table and held out his arms. “Come sit with me?”

  She stepped toward him and he drew her into his lap. “I can take care of you,” he said. “I know this house, this farm, doesn’t look like much, and then the fire… But I will provide for you and Mary Alice. And any other children we might have.”

  “I know that, Garth.”

  “You might have had more with Doc Potter.”

  “I didn’t choose Doc Potter. I chose you.”

  His stubbled cheeks flushed a light pink. Ruth couldn’t help smiling.

  “You understand what comes next, don’t you?”

  “Of course. I’m not a child. I’m twenty-two years old.”

  “Sounds young to an old timer like me.”

  “You’re thirty-six. You’ve hardly got a foot in the grave yet.”

  “How’d you know my age?”

  “I asked Mary Alice. The day I came over and made you the chicken pie.”

  “You asked about me?” He smiled a lazy smile. A “feel good” smile.

  Ruth’s heart leaped. “Yes, I asked about you. You’re an interesting person, Garth Mackenzie. You intrigued me from the start.”

  “You intrigued me too, Ruthie. You’re so pretty, and so smart, and you just told me where to go, didn’t you?”

  “Well, somebody had to. Mary Alice was failing for no good reason. And now that I’m here, things will change. Tomorrow I’ll get this place in tip top shape, and then we’ll—”

  He hushed her with his fingers on her lips. They burned hot.

  “Tomorrow we’ll figure this whole marriage out. I promise. But tonight I want to make love to my wife.”

  She nodded, her lips quivering. He stood, and his strong arms lifted her off her feet. He strode slowly through the front room to his—their—bedroom. Once there, he set Ruth on the bed, closed the door, and latched it. He sat down next to her and began working the buttons to her bodice.

  His gaze penetrated hers. “I could drown in those midnight eyes of yours.”

  So hot, and then cold, and then hot again. Ruth shuddered as his fingers grazed her skin. When her bodice was loosened, he pulled the pins from her hair until it fell down her back in soft waves.

  He kissed her neck as he pushed the fabric of her dress down her arms.

  “Garth, I—” How could she tell him she was frightened? Not of him, but of disappointing him?

  “Shh,” he said. “I’ll try not to hurt you.”

  “I know. I’m not worried about that. I mean, I know it will hurt at first. I just…I’m not sure how to please you.”

  “You will please me, Ruthie. I promise.”

  “But I don’t know what you want.”

  “I’m not that hard to please, honey. Trust me.”

  He fumbled with her chemise and petticoats, and soon she lay against the cool cotton covers in nothing but her pantalets. Her nipples poked forward, two hard berries, and a strawberry flush glossed over what she could see of her body in the moonlight streaming through the open window.

  Garth’s bronze gaze singed her body. Tiny tingles raced along her skin, igniting sparks along the way, and culminated in the moist spot between her legs.

  The spot her pantalets still covered, but wouldn’t for much longer.

  He didn’t speak, just scalded her with his eyes and then his strong hands, as they swept from her cheeks over her shoulders, over the slope of her breasts, to her waist, her hips, where they eased the pantalets over her bottom, down her legs, and onto the floor.

  He sucked in a breath. “God.”

  She closed her eyes. Did he not like what he saw? Had he decided she wasn’t what he wanted after all? Beautiful she was not, and her figure was more lithe than womanly. What she wouldn’t give, at this moment, to possess Naomi’s feminine curves.

  A flutter touched her eyelash. She opened her eyes slowly.

  “Such long eyelashes.” Garth caressed her cheek with his thumb. “As much as I love to see them resting against your cheek, I want you to keep your eyes open.”

  “W-Why?”

  “So you can see me touching you. I want you to be a part of this. Don’t close your eyes.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do. And when you said ‘God,’ I thought you didn’t…”

  “Didn’t what?”

  She steadied herself, but her voice still trembled. “Didn’t like what you saw.”

  A soft rumble hummed in his throat. “I said ‘God’ because I do like what I see. You’re very pretty, wife, and I want to kiss every inch of you.”

  That’s a lot of inches, Ruth thought to herself. Her eyes closed again, seemingly of their own volition.

  “Open, Ruthie. Open your eyes and look at me.”

  She complied, her nerves skittering, and met his burning gaze. Garth unbuttoned his shirt, and Ruth tensed, waiting for the sides of fabric to part like the Red Sea. When they did, she gulped at the pure masculine glory exposed. A mat of golden hair covered his hard chest, and two mahogany nipples eyed her. Ripples of solid muscle walled his stomach, and a golden pathway of hair arrowed to the waistband of his trousers, and to his arousal that bulged beneath them.

  She’d never seen a male member, of course. Even this morning in the hotel, when he’d lain naked on his bed, his sheets and legs had covered that part of him. Though she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t taken note of him, her concern at the time had been Mary Alice.

  Now, though, she focused solely on Garth. Her husband. Land sakes, that sounded odd, even in thought. After a few years of accepting spinsterhood as her lot in life, suddenly she was married to the most beautiful man on earth.

  A man who was unbuttoning his trousers at this very moment, readying to expose his full self to her. She forced her eyes to remain open.

  Garth leaned down and removed his boots, pushed his trousers and then his drawers over his hips.

  Oh, my! It was big. But beautiful, in its way. Darker golden than the rest of him, it stood straight and proud. Her fingers itched to touch it. Why not? She’d never been one to shy away from a challenge. And he’d touched her down there last night, and would again. Soon, she hoped.

  She extended her arm and let the tips of her fingers brush its tip.

  Garth jerked away.

  Ruth’s tummy dropped. “Gracious, I’m sorry!”

  “Don’t be. I want you to touch me. Just not yet. I don’t want this night to be over before it’s begun.”

  What? She turned her head to hide the mist in her eyes. She knew she’d do something wrong. He’d probably be petitioning for an annulment tomorrow.

  But such negative thoughts fled when he lay down next to her and gathered her close. The heat of his ski
n sizzled against her. From their foreheads to their toes, they touched, bare skin to bare skin. A delicious sensation.

  When he shifted gently, the tip of him grazed a place between her legs that shot a spark through her. Her breath hitched, and a spiral of rapture surged through her belly.

  He took her lips then, while he still pressed against that lovely place, and she opened to him. A groan rumbled beneath his breath, and he thrust his tongue into her mouth with a sweet urgency that she returned. Ruth fingered his sleek shoulders, his strong arms, all the while reveling in his warm and silky mouth.

  When he released her lips, a soft sigh escaped her. He rained kisses over her cheeks, her neck, groaning unintelligible words as he ventured lower, to her chest, to the mounds of her breasts. His firm lips slid over the rosy swells and then clamped around one nipple.

  She remembered this—that wonderful licking and tugging that made her body quiver. His erection pushed against her thigh now as he lowered his body to suck her nipple. She arched into him, her secret place searching for his hardness. Such a void, longing to be filled.

  Garth moved to the other nipple, and shivers raced through Ruth as he kissed the swollen nub while he plucked at the other with his strong fingers.

  Such hunger, such longing! She wanted every part of him to touch every part of her. If she could crawl into his skin with him she would. She wished to become him, experience everything he could offer her, if only for one timeless moment.

  “Oh, my.” The whisper left her lips in a delicate sigh.

  Garth smiled against the flesh of her breasts and then ventured lower, kissing her belly, her navel, the triangle of dark curls between her legs. A cushion of breeze fluttered through the window and floated over Ruth’s moist nipples. She closed her eyes and shivered at the titillating awareness.

  “Ah!” Her eyes shot open when a jolt of energy rushed through her. Between her legs, Garth’s blond locks fell over her pale skin, tickling her. His firm lips were on her. Kissing her. Kissing that delicious place.

  Unseemly, oh yes. But she couldn’t have stopped him if her life depended on it. Rainbows of color pivoted around her, and she lifted her hipsoff the bed, pushed into Garth’s face. Closer, had to get closer.