I know he can feel my accelerated breaths, my pulse pounding. The song changes to “Comedown” by Bush, and the song perfectly beats in time with the throbbing inside me. I lean forward and run my lips over his, his breath hitching as his fingers twitch against my skin. We’re not kissing, just sharing air, and it’s turning me on even more. The old metal chair creaks as I scoot my butt further towards the edge of the seat, parting my legs, and pressing my thighs against his ribs.
My insides are trembling, and I’m not sure what I’m thinking because my body is moving at its own accord. His hand is resting on my sternum, his palm pressed against my heart. I reach for him, and slowly place my hand over his on my knee to run up my leg to the hem of my skirt, before slipping beneath the material to the sensitive flesh of my inner thigh.
My eyes on his as he watches our hands, his long fingers reaching the edge of my panties first, and the touch causes me to swallow hard and moan quietly in the back of my throat. The instant his fingertips trail over my wet panties, his eyes shoot to mine and his other hand moves down to lift my skirt. I raise up so he can push it up under my butt, exposing me. He inhales deeply and looks back down, his thumb trailing up and down over the wet spot of my panties, and my breath is now coming out in shaky panting bursts since he’s inadvertently rubbing my clit.
“Ohhh, your fingers feel so good,” I whisper.
He stays focused on his fingers now, moving harder and in smaller circles over my underwear. My hands move to his shoulders, then his hair as I pull him into my lips. My mouth is frantic against his, my tongue lashing out to taste him, to consume him and the heat between my legs is making me crazy. I feel like if I don’t come I will lose my mind.
Nathan cups the side of my neck as he sucks my lower lip, he’s groaning along with me and at the moment I want to reach my hand down to free his cock from his pants, but then the hand at my neck leaves me and he does just that. I run my hands down his chest to find the hard flesh that’s erect and hot in my palms, he’s big and it occurs to me that I’ve never gotten a look at him before. He certainly felt huge inside me in the woods, but I guess I didn’t realize just how massive he was until now. I can’t even wrap my hand completely around him, doing my best to make a fist, sliding up and down his length.
“Mmm,” He growls against my lips.
His fingers move frantically over my panties as I grow wetter, and the fabric is clinging to my skin. Every time I reach the head of his cock, I twist my wrist and his body jerks. I want him so fucking bad, and the thought of his dick in my mouth makes me come. My back arches as my hips grind into his hand, hoarse gasps tear from my mouth as my body tenses. When I come back to earth his hand is over mine, guiding my fist up and down his cock as he breathes fast and hard, his eyes liquid as they focus on mine.
“Stand up,” I order.
He stands quickly, holding the thick base of his cock as my lips find the tip. We’re moving fast like we always do once we start touching. I look up at him as his lips part, inhaling a shaky breath, his eyes watching my lips wrap around him as his cock disappears inside my mouth.
I feel my cheeks flush and behind my watery eyes there’s a drunk feeling, this man makes me literally feel fucked up. Never has anyone turned me on like he does, he takes me out of my head so that the only focus I have is on what we’re doing and us.
But it’s more than that, he makes me think about myself, about my body and what I want, and right now the feel of his oversized dick in my mouth is what I want.
He’s so hard and thick and the biggest cock I have ever seen, the skin is tight over him, the veins protruding and running along my tongue and the roof of my mouth. The size of him is overpowering at first, and I can’t fit him all the way in. It feels like ages since I’ve given head, and I want this to be good for him, so I push past the panic that I might choke, and get my bearings.
I gag and my eyes water, embarrassment hindering my need. Until his eyes open, and he looks down at me and I see he likes it. His fingers run over my hairline before he glides his thumb under my lower lip. His touch sooths and takes my mind off thinking and focuses on feeling.
Feeling him inside me, that I’m the one making his hands tremble, the one who’s made him so hard I feel he might tear his skin. Pulling back, I let him slip free so I can catch my breath, immediately I grab him and pump my hand. Spreading the wetness from my mouth all over him as I lean closer and kiss his balls, sucking one into my mouth before releasing and doing the same to the other.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Nathan pants as his hands slide into my hair. “I can’t…fuck, I can’t wait-any-”
His hands pull at my hair and guide my mouth back onto his cock, I take more of him this time, my hand brushing against his short pubic hair. I bob my head in sync with my hand and watch as his brows furrow, his mouth opens to let out a groan before coming inside my mouth. The warm liquid shooting down my throat and I swallow everything he gives me.
I’m still hot and want more, I don’t think I could ever get enough of him, and the thought of him taking me right here on this desk, sends my pulse into a pounding frenzy. His dick hasn’t even softened and I know, I know if I just looked up at him and asked him, he would fuck me. But really, that’s not what I want.
We can’t rush into that like we always have done, there’s too many things I’m keeping from him, that it wouldn’t be fair that I use sex as a way to somehow keep him with me, when really maybe when I tell him we’re having a baby will cause him to want to leave. I watch as Nathan tucks his dick back into his jeans, that bad boy still looking like it didn’t just blow its load in my mouth. I blink up at him, an unwanted thought occurring to me.
“Was it…not-” I look down at the bulge in his jeans.
His hands cup my neck as his thumbs press into my jaw, forcing my head up.
“No, that was fucking awesome. But I can’t stop thinking about taking you home and fucking you all night.”
A rush of relief washes over me.
“And we have to go to dinner, or Missy will hunt us down.”
It’s then I remember that we’re in a public building, in front of a ton of windows, the evening traffic passing by just outside. I press my hand to my forehead and groan, I swear to God these hormones need to get better as pregnancy goes on, or I will be in trouble. Nathan moves my hand down from my face and kisses my palm, before pulling me into his body. His huge arms wrap around my shoulders as I bury my face into his neck, his chuckle rumbles against me as he kisses the top of my head, and I know he’s laughing at why I’m embarrassed.
Sunday dinner was uneventful for the most part, mainly very loud with all the kids running around. Sven recounting a story about the first time Dornan got on a motorcycle took over in conversation, having everyone laughing. Then Dornan retelling the story the way he remembered it. By Monday I felt as if I had never left Plantain, everything seemed right, and the progress that Nathan and I were making in our relationship was new and exciting.
After dinner, last night he walked me up to my door and kissed me goodnight, before heading to the main house. I liked that we were moving slow, besides what happened at the car lot, Nathan was true to his word and followed my lead. He could have easily taken me inside and fucked me all night like we both wanted, but a simple kiss kept me needing and waiting with anticipation for the next time we were alone.
It was already afternoon when I had a few minutes of down time to search the internet for a nearby OBGYN, I needed a doctor not in Plantain. I didn’t need to worry about my pregnancy getting out before anyone I knew actually knew, and knowing this town, it would spread like wild fire. I jotted down a few names of offices I would need to call later. I wanted Nathan to come with me, so the time to tell him was quickly approaching. I just needed to figure out how and when. I still wasn’t sure what his reaction would be, so I decided that we shouldn’t do anything intimate until then.
“Skye.”
I glance
up to see Maven standing at my desk looking through some papers, Nathan behind her with a customer, showing him some part of an engine in his grease covered hands. The bell over the door chimes and I look over to see Officer Milton entering the shop, and my first instinct isn’t that he’s here to see me until he comes to stand at the counter.
“Hello,” I smile while turning down “1979” by the Smashing Pumpkins on my iPod dock sitting next to my desk phone.
“Hey, I just wanted to come by and drop these off,” he says sliding a thick stack of folded papers towards me.
I look at them unsure at first, until he clears his throat.
“You left before I could give them back, and I haven’t had time to drop them until now. But I wanted to let you know I filed them with the county and city, and also included a picture of Tyler into the database, along with his license information.”
My heart stops, I mean literally stops. The room grows quiet, and I’m glad my back is to Maven and Nathan.
“I want to assure you we will do everything we can to protect you,” Milton says in a lowered voice, but I know everyone can still hear him. “If he sets one foot in this town we will know.”
I’m frozen, my heart begins to beat again rapidly and not because of the mention of Tyler’s name, but the fact that now Nathan was going to wonder what the hell had happened in Lancaster. It’s not that I didn’t want to tell him, but I thought I could go a little longer before I had to. Honestly, these past few days I haven’t even thought about Tyler, or what happened, and I like it that way. I feel my face heat and I just don’t know what to say to Milton, no words not even close to leaving my mouth. Instead I set my hand on the papers and bundle them against my chest, holding them in my hands like they are some guarded secret.
“I also included some information on self-defense classes the station offers, and there’s a number to get in touch with a post-traumatic stress counselor.”
My skin grows clammy as my hands begin to tremble, it’s from embarrassment and the thought that Nathan might be hurt by hearing all this and it not coming from me. It’s incredibly nice what Milton’s done, giving me all the help he thinks I need, and I want to thank him. But I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I want to sit down, or puke, or die even, when Maven comes into my peripheral and bumps shoulders with Milton.
“Hey buddy, you come to search the place?” she winks and I thank God for this woman.
Milton chuckles and maybe now registering the awkwardness of his visit, looks a bit flushed. As the two talk I bend down and hastily tuck the papers into my purse, making sure not to look at Nathan. Righting myself, I watch Maven and Milton and nod accordingly along with their conversation, until I hear Nathan resume his discussion with the customer.
It takes me a while to finally get back to being calm after Milton leaves, I don’t know if it’s coincidence or conscious avoidance, but I haven’t seen Nathan since. He didn’t come to the counter with his customer or even come in to ask me what I was doing for lunch. Guilt is all consuming, and I wonder if this might be it, if not telling him what happened with Tyler, will be his final straw and he’ll be done with me.
The even more overpowering thought that if this is it, then tonight I have to tell him I’m pregnant, put it all out there and if he’s decided he doesn’t want me, then he needs to know all I’m keeping from him. What the hell else could I pile on this man? I leave him once without saying shit. I leave him again for another man, now this and then dropping baby news too. I won’t be surprised if I’m too much drama for him. At five thirty I walk into the garage to see Smokey cleaning his hands off in the sink, I don’t see Nathan as I quickly glance around the area.
“Hey Skye,” Smokey tilts his chin.
“Hi, do you know when my car will be ready?” I ask.
“Nah, Drag’s got that thing all gutted, waiting on a part I think he said,” Smokey says this with the shit-eating grin he often displays when he’s up to no good.
“Well, I need a car,” I huff.
It’s silly that Nathan has to cart me all over town, and now if I’m about to be on my own, I really need a car.
“Ask Dornan, I’m sure he can lend you a car from the lot. I know Drag said you didn’t need one, but-”
“Wait, what?” I furrow my brows.
“When Dornan heard your car was being fixed, he told Drag to tell you to go to the lot and get one until your car’s ready, but Drag said it wasn’t necessary.”
My face must look as confused as I feel, because the smile only grows wider on Smokey’s face.
“I fucking knew it,” he shakes his head, returning his attention to his hands.
I grab my purse, pulling the strap down across my chest before I head out to the street. What the hell did all that mean? Nathan never asked me if I wanted a loaner car, so I guess that means he wanted to drive me around. But couldn’t he just say that since we live together sort of anyway? I begin to walk home, my mind running through every scenario and possible rejection that could happen if I ever saw Nathan again, since he’s currently M.I.A.
I make it out of town and I’m just about to turn down the dirt road that leads towards the house, when I hear the roar of a motorcycle, Nathan passes by me before stopping just ahead. A mixture of joy and annoyance rushes through me, happy he’s stopped, but pissed he disappeared all day. I keep walking right past him, and he lets out a small chuckle, causing me to whirl back around and face towards him.
“Something funny?” I ask in irritation.
His posture straightens.
“You don’t want a ride?” he asks.
“No, no I don’t.”
“You’re gonna walk five-miles home?” he asks.
“I’ve already walked four, so at this point, why not?” I retort.
Slowly he pulls his helmet off and rests it on his thigh, the wind whipping loose strands of hair that have come free from his hair tie. The setting sun casting an orange glow on everything, and causing his features to look more defined.
“Where were you all day?” I ask, my voice almost accusatory.
He furrows his brows and looks down from my eyes.
“I was working,” he says in confusion.
“Well you didn’t come see me after…” and my words catch. I don’t want to bring Milton’s visit up. “You were avoiding me?”
I watch him swallow and his eyes search mine as they look away.
“Skye…get on the bike,” he states.
I feel my anger rising again, because it’s something other than the raw pain I feel. Being angry is better than bursting into tears.
“Why haven’t you fixed my car?” I ask.
“That thing is a piece of shit,” he replies immediately.
“Well it’s my piece of shit!” I shout.
“You want a car so you can bolt again?” he growls, his eyes pinning mine.
I can see anger, but fear too in the depths, and it all makes sense now. I open my mouth to speak before snapping it shut, he’s right, I can’t blame him for thinking that. I’ve left this man more than once, and now that things might be happening for us, I know where his fear is coming from. Instantly I feel guilty for even being upset.
“No, Nathan,” my voice low.
I walk closer until I’m right beside him, lifting my hand to run my index finger over his temple, tucking his hair behind his ear.
“My car is the only thing that’s mine. I just, I don’t like depending on someone. On you,” I whisper the last words.
I watch his eyes look over my face before nodding.
“I’ll get it back to you as soon as I get the part I need.”
I feel bad for flipping on him like that, but getting some of the millions of emotions I feel out, makes me feel better, but I don’t want him to be the one I take it out on. Slipping my purse over my head, I lift the saddlebag cover and swap it with the helmet. He watches me as I put it on before he does the same
and rights the bike. I get on behind him and we drive home.
There’s a tension I feel on my end. I want to air everything that’s going on, but I’m terrified. I want to live in this universe we have created, and I don’t want anything to get in the way of that. For once I feel like I fit somewhere, with someone. As soon as Nathan parks his bike beside the house and we’re both standing there, I waste no time wrapping my arms around him. I want him to know I’m sorry for yelling at him when all he has done is help me. He sighs and encloses my body with his arms.
“How about I make you that dinner I owe you,” I say.
“I won’t ever turn down a home cooked meal.”
And with that one sentence I know we are back to the way we were. I follow him into the house and I move to the kitchen, opening cupboards and the hall pantry trying to piece together what I want to make. I find spaghetti noodles, marinara sauce, and ground beef, setting everything on the counter.
“Is pasta okay?”
I shout into the other room then smile when I realize I spoke way too loud, since he’s standing in the doorway.
He chuckles. “Of course…I’m gonna jump in the shower. Unless you need me…”
For a moment, my mind wanders to the needing him part, his arms are raised, braced against the doorframe, his t-shirt tight and lifting just above his jeans where I can see that beautiful trail of brown hair.
“To help cook,” he raises his brows.
“No, I think I got it,” I say quickly before making contact with his teasing eyes. “Go shower you pig,” I retort and we both chuckle, since it’s pretty obvious I’m the pig in this scenario.
As he turns his back to me, he lifts an arm, reaching back to pull his shirt over his head, muscles incased in tan perfect skin. I feel my tummy tighten, and my pussy clench as I watch him walk. When he reaches the banister to the stairs, he turns and gives me a wink along with a dimpled smile.
Come as you Are: Plantain Series Book Two Page 12