“Tease,” I snarl.
His laugh echoes through the house, causing me to laugh and I turn to start on dinner. I also find some bread to toss into the oven and ingredients for a salad. The thought occurs to me that I could never make something so basic for Tyler, he literally would’ve refused to eat this just out of principle. Quickly the thought leaves me, and I fight against the tightness in my throat.
Regardless, I never felt so domestic before, the fear of not pleasing Nathan not even an idea, I’m not worrying he won’t like it like I always did with Tyler. I have a feeling that even if it was shit and burnt to a crisp, Nathan would eat it for me. I’m just starting to cook the beef when I feel his body press against my back, his hands moving along my forearms to replace my hands on the handle of the pan and the wooden spoon.
“Let me,” he whispers in my ear which causes my body to shiver.
He smells clean and that underlying scent that is Nathan, his hair wet and down, a few droplets falling onto my bare shoulders, causing me to shiver again slightly until I feel his warm tongue lick the water off my skin. I moan and arch my back, pressing my ass against his groin. Jesus Christ Skye, horny much?
“Damn,” he whisper-groans.
I look at him over my shoulder. He’s looking down at me pushing against him.
“Sorry,” I say breathlessly.
He reaches a hand out to cup my cheek, turning my body to face his, his other hand snaking around to my ass to pull me tighter into him. I feel his cock hard under his jeans, and the heat between us has me wanting to spread my legs and demand he fuck me, but I can’t. His lips slam against mine, my hands slide up his bare torso to his chest, finally gliding into his hair to pull him closer. He kisses me like he can’t get enough of my taste, like I’m the last of the pudding in a bowl and he’s using his fingers to collect it and savor. The way he nips my lower lip, and laps at the inside of my mouth with his masterful tongue, he’s making my knees weak and covering my skin in goose bumps.
“Can I have you for dinner?” he groans.
Of course, I want that, and I’m about to say ‘yes,’ when suddenly he pulls away and flips off the burners. The pasta has boiled over, and the meat is smoking. I cover my face with my hands, holding in my laughter. I watch as Nathan pulls the pots and pans to unused burners before opening the window beside the sink, then the smoke detectors begin to go off.
He bows his head as his shoulders begin to shake with silent laughter, and when he looks at me with a huge grin, I can’t fight the urge anymore and I burst out laughing. The rooms filled with smoke and noise as he places two kisses on my forehead before walking toward the entryway to stop the alarm. I remain in the kitchen and flip on the ceiling fan before tossing the burnt meat and pan into the sink and running cold water over it. One by one the house is quiet again, but only for a moment, before I hear Nat King Cole’s distinctive voice coming in from the living room.
“How do you feel about pizza?” Nathan asks, returning to the kitchen.
There is a relieved feeling inside me, the difference between Nathan’s reaction to this and the way Tyler had, I don’t want to linger on the thought too long because that is the past and Nathan is the future. We order Chinese since I’ve been craving egg rolls and wonton soup, ending up ordering three meals on top of the soup for us to share. I feel to the point of busting when I drop my fork onto my plate, Nathan is on the couch while I’m on the floor, my legs under the coffee table as I lay back and sigh.
“I want to die,” I state.
“Basically,” he agrees as he lies down on the couch.
Thankfully he put a shirt on when the delivery man came, and thank God, I can’t take another weak moment before we have ‘the talk.’ I glance around the room and notice some charcoal sketches that look similar to the ones I remember from his apartment at the clubhouse. These are in frames on the floor leaning against the wall. They are beautiful depictions of hands, eyes, and ears. All three drawings are huge and over exaggerated in size, but still hauntingly realistic.
“Are you going to ask me about Milton’s visit?” I ask.
He’s silent but I know he heard me.
“I’m waiting for you to talk to me about it,” he says.
I inhale deeply and feel the breeze blowing in through the windows, the crickets outside, and Louis Armstrong on the record player.
“Those drawings are stunning.”
“My brother did those.”
I nod to myself since I don’t know if he’s looking at me or not, and I don’t really have the strength to turn towards him to check.
“He killed himself,” Nathan states matter-of-factly.
With that I do turn my head, and he is looking at me, before he looks towards the drawings.
“That’s why I left Plantain, after you left for Lancaster I had to get out of here. Everything reminded me of you, and I wanted you to come back but knew you weren’t going to, so I left Rob, that was his name. He said he would be fine and my sister said she’d check on him. But he wasn’t fine, and she wasn’t coming to see him as much as she should have, and I wasn’t fucking here,” he says, his voice tight.
I sit up because I hadn’t expected him to talk to me, especially about something like this, something personal. It was then I realized I barely knew this man, and I wanted him to just keep talking. Slowly, I move to my knees and crawl over to him. He lifts his hand to brush over my hair, his eyes still connected with mine as I move onto the couch to lie at his side. He presses his palm to the back of my head as I rest on his chest, my face against his neck.
“He was sick ever since I can remember. He used to be overly aggressive when we’d play and throw tantrums, but my parents passed it off as him just being a boy. When he started going through puberty though, he started getting violent. Threatened a teacher, threatened to kill the girl who lived next door to us…my parents had money and were well respected where I come from, so they were mortified by his behavior. Tried giving him medication for whatever diagnosis the doctor of the minute said was wrong with him, then when that didn’t work they’d send him to another doctor. Rob was genius smart, but he couldn’t control what was going on inside him, so he’d get frustrated and lash out at school, but he was my brother, ya know?”
He pauses and I nod my head against him, he inhales deeply before resuming.
“He was eighteen and just got kicked out of high school right before graduation, got denied from every college he applied to, not because of his grades but because his behavior was a liability. My dad went ballistic. They got into an argument and Alexandra was home from college at the time, took me-”
“How old were you then?” I interrupt.
“Fourteen. She took me to the movies so I didn’t have to listen to them fight, and when we got back,” he stops.
He takes so long to start again; I begin to raise my head to see what he’s doing.
“Rob had burnt the house down with my parents inside.”
I gasp and raise my head, my mouth agape as his eyes focus on the drawings once again.
“I don’t know if they died in the fire, or he killed them before he set the fire, because I never wanted to hear the details of what happened that night. The court found him mentally insane and sent him to a nuthouse, he was there for a few years, and they got him on the right meds. Then, somehow his lawyer got his ass out. I wanted to believe he was better when the court sent him to live with us under my sister’s care. But they didn’t think about the fact that he’d killed our parents, sick or not, he killed them. He took them away from ever seeing my sister and me again. I hated him, I never stopped. Even more so when he went off his meds repeatedly. We moved here because my sister thought a smaller town where we had land would keep him busy. He started painting again and seemed calm for the first time I can remember, but his moods and the stupid shit he did to lash out just fucking wore me down. My sister left and it was just him and me. I joined the MC an
d had a family for the first time, but even then, I didn’t know who I was. I acted a way I thought I should be being a biker. I was a dick, and Rob just got worse. He was so paranoid and delusional, he started painting the shit he saw and heard, and I just couldn’t be around him anymore. So ya see, when you and me hooked up and I had a vision of a normal life and then you left…I reached my breaking point. So instead of staying here with a manic-depressive schizophrenic and probably losing my own mind in the process, I left…and he killed himself.”
His eyes move to mine and I see the shine of unshed tears while my tears are flowing down my cheeks freely.
“I love this house, but it’s haunted me a long time. The what if’s and regrets, the ghost of how I wish things would’ve been different my whole life, and thinking about if my parents were still alive, haunting me here. Until you came, and the heaviness that used to fill these walls were replaced with your sunshine.”
I sit up and pull myself up the couch so our faces are parallel. I have nothing to say to what he’s told me about his brother, or what he’s just said about me. I feel like anything I say will sound like things he’s probably heard a million times before. So instead I lean down and place a kiss on his forehead, then between his eyes before kissing his eyelids and then the tip of his nose, resting at his lips.
I feel everything for this man; the way he says I saved him he’s done the same for me. I rest my head down in the crook of his shoulder and study his profile until he looks over at me, and we both just look. I want to memorize every detail of his face as I run my index finger along his scruffy jaw, and the warm smooth skin of his neck, until my eyes heavy with sleep close with Nathan being the last thing I see.
15
I’m in a house I don’t recognize I hear men shouting and glass breaking. They’re distant, and I begin to walk towards the sounds. Even though my instincts are telling me not to, I still approach. Turning the corner to see a huge living room, pristine and clean, familiar yet not. The two men are shouting but I can’t make out the words, one is older than the other, they are both red faced and screaming. Suddenly stopping and turning to face me, my heart leaps into my throat and I feel threatened.
I feel like I want to say something but can’t, and the younger man begins to smile as if he knows me, but I realize he’s looking over my shoulder and I feel my body tense. The hair on my arms rising as a cold chill consumes me. I feel a hand on my bicep squeeze, causing me to turn to face Tyler. Again, I try to speak, to move, but nothing. His hand tightens as he begins pulling me down the hallway and I’m fighting as hard as I can, reaching for doorframes and banisters as we pass by, but nothing will help me break free.
“I told you I’d find you Skye.”
“No!” I shout.
I jolt upright and repeat the word over and over.
“No, no, no, no, no!”
Until I realize it was a dream, we’re still on the couch and Nathan is beside me, his eyes wild from being woken from a dead sleep. It only takes him a moment until his hands are cupping my face.
“Look at me,” he keeps saying until I do. “Skye, you’re okay, you’re okay.”
I can’t catch my breath, stars dancing in my vision because I can’t fucking breathe. There’s a sharp pain on my bare thigh from Nathan pinching me, and the pain focuses me, allowing much needed air to sink into my lungs. I feel my bottom lip begin to quiver, as the tears fall down my cheeks. The dream was so real and I can’t shake the feeling of dread and fear, the anger that Tyler is still able to attack me anytime.
Nathan pulls me to his chest before standing and walking towards the stairs, leading to the second floor. My hands are fisted in his t-shirt and I’m holding onto him like he’s just pulled me out from drowning in the ocean. We enter a dark room and he sets me on the bed, when I don’t release his shirt, he picks me back up again and carries me into an adjoining room. There’s a dim night-light glowing by the sink as he sets me on the bathroom counter.
“I need to get something from the closet, I’m not leaving,” he says with his hands over mine.
I nod and he turns to open the bathroom closet behind him, retrieving a washcloth. He turns back to me and with his eyes asks permission as his fingers rest at the hemline of my tank top. I nod and he lifts the fabric up as I raise my arms for him, baring my naked torso. He turns the water on, placing the wash cloth under the stream, the water is cool on my heated and sweaty skin as he washes me. I feel exposed more from my dream than from being literally nude, but his gentle touch and the soft pressure he’s using, is helping me get out of my dream and into the now.
My breath is hiccupping as my body trembles slightly. When he’s done, he lays the cloth onto the counter, before taking me into his arms again and carrying me back into the bedroom. He moves to his dresser and opens a drawer before closing it and setting me on my feet. Nathan undoes the button to my shorts, sliding them down my legs and leaving me in my panties.
I wonder if he notices my stomach, but I realize he’s never seen me so naked before, and maybe won’t think twice about my bloated tummy. He’s not really even looking at me like that anyway, in a sexy way, just comforting me and the feeling is overwhelming. He slips one of his massive shirts over my head, and I pull my arms through. Taking my hand, he walks us to the bed, pulling down the sheets for me to get in.
“Stay with me,” I say, my voice is small and quiet.
I curl into the sheets as I hear his belt buckle clank and then his jeans being tossed over towards the closet door. His warm body presses up behind me, his arms wrapping around me. We don’t say anything as I try to match my breathing to his, trying to melt into him while my dream still clings to me.
“I was dreaming,” I say sleepily. “I haven’t had a bad dream in a while, not since the first night I moved here. Then after knowing this was your house, they stopped. I think maybe what you told me about your brother triggered something.”
I feel his arm tighten around me.
“When I left here after the wedding, I went and stayed with my parents. I didn’t want to go back to Lancaster, and even though I told you I needed to go sort things out with my fiancé, I had already made my mind up that I was never going back to him. You helped me realize that there was nothing there for me, that nothing he could say to me would change anything. He found me at my parents, just like he said he would. He attacked me,” my voice breaks as I inhale deeply and bite my lip to stop the hot tears that begin to slide down my temple.
Nathan pulls me closer and kisses the back of my head. I place my hand under his resting under my breasts and entwine our fingers.
“I was in the hospital for a while and he’s still out there, that’s what’s scares me. He found me before, and I know if he wanted to, he can find me again, that I won’t ever be safe until I know he’s gone for good-”
“That won’t happen Skye, I won’t let him get to you.”
I know what he’s saying is sincere, but he can’t protect me from everything. I know if Tyler thinks he can get to me, he will.
“You have me, the MC, and Milton. Milton said if he took one step into town he’d know, you have to believe that. You can’t live every day afraid.”
“But I am afraid, he tried to kill me Nathan, kill me. You can’t just let something like that not fuck with your head a little every day.”
Nathan’s body pulls away from me, the arm on my torso urges me onto my back. He’s propped on his elbow looking down on me, a fire in his eyes I have never seen before.
“But you survived, you are living, you are alive. He didn’t kill you or your spirit, you smile every day and you have people who love you,” he pauses. “Maybe he does come here, but you will survive. You’re strong and too full of life to be taken down by anyone.”
I let out a long sigh and run my fingers under my wet eyes, Nathan runs his hand over my hair before lying back down beside me, allowing me to cuddle up beside him.
“Thank y
ou for talking to me,” he says softly.
I again try to match his breathing with my own, until it turns rhythmic with sleep just before I too pass out.
The next morning, I wake to birds chirping, and the smell of bacon. The sun has barely risen and my head aches behind my eyes from crying, but it’s nothing coffee won’t fix. I feel refreshed though, cleansed, not only physically but also emotionally. Telling Nathan about my dream and my fears, I feel like I have conquered some demon.
I sit up and notice the room I’m in, the bed is massive with white sheets and a white down comforter. There are dark red curtains hanging open on the windows, which is the only pop of color in the white walled space. A wood dresser and side table are the only furniture besides the bed, and one lamp sits in the corner of the room.
The door opens and Nathan appears, shirtless, in boxer briefs carrying a plate and a mug. He smiles at me so widely the dimples are on display, and I can’t help but grin right back. He hands me the mug before sitting down on the other side of the bed, showing me the array of food piled high.
Pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage and oh God. I shove the coffee mug at him before bolting towards the bathroom. I can’t even close the door, let alone barely get the lid of the toilet up before I’m puking. Thankfully I digested most of the Chinese from last night, but apparently not all of it. My elbows propped on the rim of the toilet bowl as I try to take deep breaths. Nathan comes in and flicks the light on, handing me a glass of water as he shovels a piece of bacon in his mouth, seeming totally not disgusted that he just heard me barfing.
“You okay?” he asks as I sip the cold water.
“Yeah, I think it was the Chinese and the crying…I’m better now,” I sniffle.
I stand and then wash my face, looking at my blood shot eyes in the mirror before groaning and splashing water onto my inflamed skin and rinsing my mouth. Nathan leans his back against the counter as he finishes his bacon, and I glare over at him.
Come as you Are: Plantain Series Book Two Page 13