“Stay there,” Elijah said with a wave of his hand. “Warm up in the dining room. When Joanna comes down, tell her what happened. I’ll be back shortly. Can you do that?”
Alex nodded. “Of course. Go make sure Caroline is all right.”
Elijah looked back, finding that Thatcher was already nearing the stable. He understood his urgency. If it had been Joanna who is in trouble, he would be wild with worry.
“I’ll be back.”
* * *
Joanna woke up languidly, stretching her arms over her head. She was sore, and yet… strangely satisfied. Why? What had happ—oh. Oh, yes.
She remembered now. She opened her eyes and rolled to her side, reaching out, expecting to find Elijah, her lips already curling into a grin at the thought.
Her hand came up empty.
She opened her eyes, finding nothing there but the impression of where his body had been. She sat up, holding the blanket around herself as she looked around the room.
No Elijah. Nor any sign that he had ever been here.
She frowned as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She supposed that this is what she should have expected. He had likely been thinking that they should avoid being found together, that was all.
Perhaps he was downstairs.
She dressed as well as she could without any help. Her blasted stays were too difficult to do alone, so she ended up just managing to tie the ends, but so loosely they nearly fell off when she pulled on her dress.
A knock came at the door and she ran over to it, opening it hurriedly, convinced Elijah was on the other side.
She was to be disappointed.
It was a middle-aged woman she supposed was the innkeeper’s wife.
“Pardon me, my lady, but I noticed you were without a maid and I was wondering if you needed any help getting dressed.”
“Actually, that would be lovely,” Joanna said, stepping back and turning around so that the woman could quickly help her with the last of the fastenings.
“Will there be anything else?”
“No, thank you,” Joanna said, not wanting her to linger, for she was eager to go downstairs and find Elijah, who was sure to be in the dining room having breakfast. Perhaps he was waiting at a table for the two of them, she reasoned.
When she descended the staircase, she looked around the room, searching out his dark head of hair, that silhouette that she would know anywhere.
But he was nowhere to be found.
Instead, another familiar figure stood from one of the tables and approached.
“Joanna.”
“Alexander,” she said in surprise, “what are you doing here?”
“Won’t you have a seat?” he asked, ignoring her question as he swept his hand out to the chair across from him, ignoring her question.
She dutifully sat, but she wouldn’t let him free from his question, which she repeated.
“I was looking for you.”
“For me?”
“Well, you and Caroline and Thatcher,” he expanded. “The three of you gave us quite the merry chase.”
“Yes, that is what Elijah said, and I do apologize to you, as I did to him.”
She paused for a moment, hoping she wasn’t revealing too much when she asked, “Have you seen Elijah?”
He ignored her again, aggravating her further, instead continuing to tell her how he had come to find her.
“Elijah traveled east; I went west to Oakley, but, finding no sign of you anywhere, I circled back, arriving here. I had an inkling this is where Caroline would be, anyway. As it turns out, I was right.”
“She left,” Joanna said simply, accepting the cup of tea the innkeeper poured her with a thank you.
“I’m aware,” Alex said, waiting to continue until the innkeeper had left them. “Took the stagecoach, I’m told.”
“Yes,” she inclined her head. “I was to take the sleigh home with the horses. I just need to hire someone to drive me. Caroline left me money to do so, but I suppose if you and Elijah are here now—”
“Ah, yes, Elijah,” Alex said, his lips turning into a smile she recognized, one that she had always thought was a laughing one, particularly at Elijah’s pranks, but now it gave her something of an icy shiver. Was there more to this smile of Alex’s than she had originally thought? For if she wasn’t mistaken, he seemed rather… satisfied. Smug. “I actually had breakfast with him this morning.”
“Did you?” she asked, looking at the table in front of her as though there would be evidence of his meal left behind, but all she saw was Alex’s own cup of coffee.
“I did,” he said, and then chuckled. “You slept in. You had a late night, I hear.”
Joanna’s cheeks burned hot, angry with embarrassment. “Elijah told you?” She knew the brothers had once been close, but she had never thought he would betray her like that.
“Of course he did,” Alex said, leaning back as he leveled his gaze upon her. “He had to.”
“Why would that be?” she asked, even as a voice inside her head was shouting at her to stop asking questions and find Elijah herself.
“So that he could collect his earnings.”
“His earnings?” she echoed, although she was no longer able to fully follow what he was saying. Her body suddenly felt awkward, cold, as though she was not completely inside of it but hovering just above it, half in and half out.
“Oh, my dear Joanna,” he said, his smile falling as he tilted his head and looked upon her with pity. “You didn’t know. But of course you didn’t.”
“Know what?”
“Well, you know how Elijah is.”
She did know how he was, but she wasn’t sure if she and Alex were reflecting on the same aspects of his character.
“Yes…”
“When you joined the house party, so soon after his return, I told him it must be fate. He laughed at that, although he agreed that you could easily fall for him. We made a bet on it. I thought for sure I would win. After all, you were not keen on his affections whatsoever at the start and I knew how much you hated him from years past. But then, however he convinced you, he did it well, for by the end, you were quite enamored with him. Caroline’s little scheme played perfectly into his hands, for it apparently afforded him the opportunity to bed you as he wished.”
Joanna could only stare at him in shock and utter horror.
“You’re lying,” she finally managed, although she heard the own lack of conviction in her near-whispered words.
“Why would I lie about such a thing?”
Her thoughts returned to last night, to Elijah’s tender words, to the way he had made love to her, to the promises he had sealed with his words and with his actions. Although… he had never said anything about what the future would hold — for him, or for the two of them.
“He just… he wouldn’t lie about it,” she said, but the words and the excuses were flimsy, even to her ears.
“Oh, Joanna, you poor thing,” he said, and Joanna wished she could reach out and smack that look of pity off of his face. “You believed the best in him. But Elijah is Elijah, and he will never change.”
“He did,” she insisted, shaking her head, still unable to believe Alex’s words, despite the drips of doubt that began to invade, “he did change. The war changed him.”
“One can never truly, completely change,” Alex argued. “I’m sorry, Joanna, but look at the facts. Where is he now? You would think that after a night together, he would be here awaiting you, but instead you find me at your breakfast table. He left — went home. Didn’t want to have to face you, wasn’t man enough to tell you that none of it meant anything.”
But it had meant something. It had meant everything.
She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling as she fought for breath, despite inhaling deeply unable, it seemed, to get enough.
“Why are you still here?” she finally managed, proud of herself for keeping the tears at bay.
&nbs
p; “I hadn’t finished my breakfast, so I told him that I would wait for you and tell you that he had pressing matters that took him away. But I decided that you deserved to know the truth.”
“Well… thank you,” she said, although she didn’t mean anything of the sort. Every inch of her had gone numb. Everything she had imagined, all that she had envisioned for the two of them vanished in but moments.
For as much as she hated to admit it, there was one glaringly obvious fact that she couldn’t ignore. If Elijah cared anything for her, he never would have left.
“I… I have to go,” she said, pushing back and away from the table abruptly, the tea left half-finished in front of her, but she didn’t think she could manage another sip.
“How are you going to get back to Briercrest?” he asked, and she just shook her head, unable to even consider it. She just needed to get out, away from here, away from the place where she had thought her life was beginning but where, in fact, it was all being taken away.
“I’ll escort you home.”
“No!” she practically shouted before calming herself. “No thank you. I would like to be alone.”
“I’ll hire a driver to escort you home,” he said, much more kind than Alex had ever been before. Why was he doing this for her? Did he feel guilty for his brother’s actions? “You can take my horse.”
Joanna had no idea what he would need the sleigh for, but she supposed she wasn’t in any position to question it or to argue.
“Fine, thank you,” she managed instead.
Joanna wanted nothing more than to say no, to get away from the entire family — except Caroline, but she was well away from here — but she didn’t have much choice. She still had belongings back at Briercrest, for she had only packed for one night away.
She would return, collect her things, and then take the next stagecoach for London. It was all she could do.
For she had been well and truly tricked, and she was the greater fool for having allowed it all to happen.
She should have known better.
She had known better, but she had allowed her heart to overcome what her mind already knew.
And she would never allow it to do so again.
Chapter 20
Elijah had felt relief many times before — at the end of a battle, when he determined that his friends were still alive, when he found himself in one piece.
But he had never felt relief quite like this.
For now he was returning not to a lonely tent where everyone was melancholy and morose — a circumstance not much better than the battle itself.
He wasn’t even returning home, but that didn’t matter. For it wasn’t that he was returning somewhere, but rather to someone.
He closed his eyes, able to picture each moment of his night with Joanna as vividly as it had occurred, which was both a miracle and a mercy. He could hardly wait to do it all again.
Caroline was, blessedly, all right. She had taken quite a tumble in the carriage, but despite Thatcher’s insistence that she be thoroughly checked over by a physician, she was declared well and healthy — just bruised and scratched.
And cold. They were all cold.
He was hardly off his horse — Caroline and Thatcher traveling in the physician’s carriage behind him — when he was passing the lead off to the stablemaster and nearly running through the door and into the inn.
He came to a stop when he found his brother, alone, sitting in the dining room, lazily twirling one ankle where his leg was crossed over the other.
“Elijah,” he said with a nod, “how is everyone?”
“Caroline is fine,” he replied. “Thatcher is seeing to her.” He looked around the room. “Where is Joanna?”
“Oh, Joanna,” Alex said with a sigh, standing and walking to the door, where Elijah stood, still clad in all of his outerwear. “Unfortunately, she is gone.”
“Gone?” Elijah said, looking at his brother incredulously. “What do you mean, gone?”
“I mean just that,” Alex said with a shrug as though it were of no consequence. “When she learned that you had left her, she decided that you were not worth waiting for. Something about, once a jester, always a jester.”
“She did not say that.”
“Perhaps not in those words,” Alex said, waving a hand in front of him. “But she is looking for a man, Eli. One who can care for her, provide for her. You can hardly take care of yourself.”
“I would disagree, for I did through three years of war,” he said, gritting his teeth, his spine stiff and straight with suspicion. He had a feeling he knew just what had run Joanna off, and he didn’t think it was her own assumptions.
But what caused this pang deep in his chest was the question of why she would have believed anything but the truth. Why had she not believed in him, and in what he felt for her?
Because he had never told her any of it, he realized. They had been so busy enjoying one another that they had never stopped and shared with one another how they actually felt. He had been scared of rejection and he supposed she had felt the same.
And now she was gone. He hoped returning to Briercrest and not all the way to London, for if she had, he had no idea how he would ever find her.
“How long ago did she leave?” he demanded to Alex, who shrugged lazily.
“Shortly after you departed.”
“That was hours ago!” Elijah exclaimed, aghast.
“So it was.” Alex sighed. “She’s likely returned to Briercrest by now.”
“What did you tell her, Alex?” Elijah pressed, angry now.
“It’s just a joke, Eli,” Alex said with a bit of a chuckle, but it was no laughing matter to Elijah.
“Did she seem to find it humorous, Alex?”
“Do any of the people we are pranking, Eli?”
Elijah rubbed his temples where the headache had formed long ago but was now pounding in earnest.
“No,” he said, shaking it, “but we were wrong. And that was years ago.”
“What about the prank on Baxter?” Alex asked.
“Well…” Elijah bit his lip, “I suppose old habits can be hard to break sometimes. But I’m doing my best. That, however, is not something I need to prove to you. I’m going, Alex. I need to find Joanna.”
He stopped, turning suddenly toward his brother. “Why didn’t you accompany her back?”
“She was quite clear that she had no wish to be in my presence — nor yours,” Alex said.
“Where did she go?” Elijah asked quietly.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Much to the surprise of most of the patrons, Elijah suddenly lost his temper. He rushed forward, taking Alex by the collar, pushing him back up against the wall.
“Where. Is. She?”
“All right, all right,” Alex said, holding his hands up. “She went back to Briercrest. She said something about collecting her belongings.”
Elijah pulled out his pocket watch, reminding him of Joanna and her own.
“If I leave now I can hopefully catch her,” he said before casting a reproachful gaze upon his brother. “Let’s just hope there is enough time.”
* * *
Joanna stared at the costumes that currently lined her bed, mocking her, waiting for her to continue.
They were nearly done. All but one — the one that mattered the most.
She hadn’t wanted to make Elijah’s costume into the jester, but perhaps it was appropriate, she now considered.
He would have to figure out how to finish it himself. For she was done. She was done with it all.
She opened the wardrobe and ripped out the few dresses she had brought with her, stuffing them, along with the rest of her meagre belongings, into her valise.
At least, out of all of this, Caroline had found her happy ending. She had discovered enough love for both of them.
Joanna had snuck in through the servants’ entrance, and they had been respectful enough of her to promise to keep her s
ecret. She figured they considered her as much one of them as she was one of the guests she had dined with each night.
She just needed to get out of here without anyone knowing she had arrived. That way she could avoid any questions about her absence, as well as that of Caroline’s.
She took one final look around the room, and opened the door to leave.
Only to find that there was no way out.
The entrance was filled with a man, tall, broad, dark, and angry.
Joanna hated the fact that underneath the anguish his presence caused her was a deep yearning for him all over again.
One of his hands now came up against the top of the doorjamb as he stared down at her.
“E-Elijah,” she stammered, feeling rather lost for words. “Wh-what are you doing here?”
He lifted his brows.
“What am I doing here? Well, first off, I live here. Secondly, I’m here to keep you from leaving.”
Her jaw dropped. “Keep me from leaving? I think that opportunity passed this morning, when I woke up alone and found that you had not only bedded me and left me, but that it was all to win some stupid bet against your brother.”
She was not normally one to be overcome by anger, but now she was fueled by hurt at his absence. “How could you do such a thing?” she said, near tears.
“Joanna…” he held his hands up as he stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. “Calm yourself and listen.”
“Calm myself?” she repeated, narrowing her eyes at him. “You cannot be serious?”
“I understand you’re angry, but I am too,” he insisted. “How could you believe such a thing about me?”
“How? I will tell you how. You are the same man who made me kiss a dog in front of all of your friends. Who caused me to lose a pocket watch that meant more than I could ever properly explain. Who placed coal in my stocking. Who says he is changed but just the other day pranked his brother into making a fool of himself.”
Elijah hung his head, scratched his temple, dug his toe into the carpet, before finally looking up at her.
“You’re right. I am all of those things. But…”
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