Nigma (The Waifs of Duldred Book 3)

by Ana Salote

  ‘I keep forgetting Oy’s a Nondul,’ said Gritty.

  Alas was lowering flasks through the gap. ‘Come and drink,’ he said.

  ‘Show respect to the water,’ said Lil. ‘Nothing else would have cleared that scorpit poison so quick. It’s more quenching than other water. You’re the first flanners to drink it. Take it slow.’ She waited. ‘What does it taste of?’

  The waifs held the water in their mouths as though they were being tested.

  ‘I give in,’ said Gritty.

  ‘Nothing,’ said Alas.

  ‘It tastes spotless,’ said Oy.

  ‘Exactly,’ said Lil.

  Gritty pushed Oy playfully. ‘Know all.’

  They damped their heads and filled the flasks again. It was time for Lil to go home.

  14 Stony Silence

  The Cracnazy was a giant rocky maze. Within minutes of entering it the waifs were lost. They didn’t see how anyone could be anything but lost. Once in, only chance would lead a traveller out again. Yet Lil knew exactly where she was going. At every turn she chose the next path without hesitation. In the evening she slept contentedly inside a craic. In the morning she declared it was the only sound night’s sleep she’d had since her capture by the Felluns. She followed twists and crooks with the unconscious ease of someone pottering about her own home. The paths formed a series of rings linked with passages. Lil sidestepped suddenly through a crack. Before them was a solid wall. Lil stood with her hands on her hips and looked at the wall in disbelief. ‘A blinder,’ she said. ‘I walked into a blinder like a lost flanner. I don’t believe it.’ She struck it with her fist. It was real enough. ‘Fellund must’ve thrown my tuning worse than I thought.’ She turned her head from side to side, listening. They went back to the rings. Lil tried out various paths between them. One of the rings spiralled inwards.

  ‘We ain’t been here before,’ said Alas.

  ‘I know that,’ Lil snapped. She chose an exit at random and walked with the testing, uncertain gait of the lost. The maze opened out; again they were faced by high blind walls. Lil felt for her tuning fork. She looked at the walls and the patch of blue above. Her breathing was fast and shallow.

  ‘I think I can find my way back through the rings,’ said Alas.

  ‘Something’s wrong,’ said Lil. ‘I should be hearing Craicanmar by now. I know I sounded the paths right. I know their songs.’ She handled her tuning fork. ‘The fork is warped but it isn’t that. Craicanmar’s lost its tune.’ The enclosure filled with Lil’s fear.

  ‘It’s easy to get lost,’ said Oy. ‘I been lost plenty of times.’

  ‘I am not lost,’ said Lil. ‘It is lost.’

  ‘Perhaps you’ll pick the tune up again if we keep going,’ said Alas.

  Lil held her fork like a lifeline and walked dumbly out of the blinder. They returned to the place where they had entered the rings and tried a different path through them. There were no more blinders. The sky above grew cloudy. Wind began to gust along the passages. Something was happening to Lil. There was a growing look of fright on her usually blank face. She grew smaller as though a weight pressed on her shoulders and spine. Her swinging pace became unsteady.

  ‘Are we back on track, Lil?’ asked Alas.

  ‘I hear the Lofver,’ she said, ‘the high place that sits above Craicanmar.’

  Gritty smiled. ‘It can’t be far then. I can’t wait to see this place after all you’ve said.’

  ‘It’s not a place for seeing.’ Lil’s bleak mood touched them all.

  Before long, Lil led them out of the mazes into a rubble strewn valley swept by strong winds.

  ‘Is this it?’ Gritty mouthed to the other waifs. Alas shrugged and spread his hands. Lil’s face was full of grief. ‘Lil,’ Gritty persisted, ‘is this Craicanmar? What’s wrong? Has it got a bit run down?’

  Oy caught Gritty’s eye and shook his head.

  ‘This isn’t Craicanmar,’ said Lil. ‘We will see it from Lofver.’ She pointed upwards.

  They crossed the valley and began to climb. Lofver was a peak that had eroded to shards and crumbled inwards leaving a plateau gashed with deep crevasses. They reached the top. The wind was strong there. The plants did not fight the wind; they went with it. Thorny branches and rubbery arms grew into its stream. All the plants were coated in yellow dust. Lil leaned into the wind and made for the far edge. The crevasses were overgrown; Alas went ahead and stood sentry over them. Alone, Lil would have walked straight into them.

  They could hear something like the racket of a distant factory. As they neared the plateau’s edge the sounds separated into booms and rumbles. Nearer still they heard crunching and knocking.

  Oy walked beside Lil and watched her. Lil’s face did not change, but now and again her head fell forward and her earlids closed. Then she straightened and forced them open. Oy unhooked Lil from plant spikes and tried to steer her by the elbow. Lil wanted no touching.

  Gritty reached the edge first and came back solemn-faced. ‘Don’t go no nearer, Lil,’ she said,

  Lil ignored her. They advanced together. When they were close to the rim they could see the dust billowing up. The racket there was very loud. Lil walked on. She didn’t slow. It wasn’t certain that she would stop at the edge. The waifs surrounded her and gripped her skirt. They all looked down into the bowl of a quarry. Between the dust clouds they could see carts running on tracks. Thousands of dusty Chee chipped and hacked at the cliff faces. Others loaded carts with stone. Constant blasts sent up fresh clouds.

  Lil’s sadness gathered. Her throat gave up three bell sounds. ‘Gone, gone, gone,’ she knelled. She tipped her head back and loosed a desolating howl. It cut through the blasts and the rumbles and the knocking. In the quarry everything stopped: work, speech, breath.. The waifs sat down as though pressed there. They rested their foreheads on their arms. Lil stood pining. Her pupils travelled her ruined valley in fractions. She was probing for hope. But there was nothing left; the music had been smashed out of it. There was nothing that could be put back together.

  Lil turned her face away from the valley. ‘There’s no changing it,’ she said. ‘It’s gone.’

  ‘Not gone,’ said Gritty. ‘Spoiled maybe, but the Felluns will clear out one day. I expect there’ll be some craics left, and...’

  ‘Can’t you hear?’ said Lil. ‘Listen. Gone.’

  Gritty shook her head, not understanding.

  ‘She means forever gone,’ said Oy, ‘like... like a stone in the Ganny.’

  They returned to the valley to sleep. There was oblivion and then they woke still tuned to sadness. They were talking about Lil when she emerged late from her craic.

  ‘Ask her,’ Alas said.

  ‘Ask her what?’ said Lil.

  ‘Morning, Lil,’ said Gritty. ‘We were just saying, since Craicanmar is... not what it was, you could come home with us.’

  ‘Your home’s no home to me. I will see you out of the Cracnazy then I will find out where my people are.’ Lil was brisk and factual.

  ‘What will you do then? Find a new place to suit round here?’

  ‘You don’t understand anything,’ said Lil. ‘Get your things.’

  Gritty was hurt, but Lil took no notice. She waited while they rolled their blankets then she took the lead without looking back. The waifs followed quietly through the mazes, turning and turning in a world of walls, losing all sense of time and direction. They moved like an entranced caterpillar till Lil stopped abruptly. She reached her hand between the rocks and pulled out a miniature version of herself.

  ‘Who are you?’ said the child rudely. Her temper was no better than Lil’s.

  ‘Someone who is about to slap you,’ said Lil, ‘unless you drop that attitude, Dol Mosmolay.’

  ‘How do you know me?’

  Lil pointed to the furry green patch on the girl’s cheek. ‘You are Mol or Dol. Dol was a whiner so I guess it is you. I’m your aunt.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Dol. ‘Have you come back?’


  ‘To what?’

  ‘Nothing right tuneful is left, I know,’ said Dol. ‘Those that lived couldn’t agree on a new place. They are all out searching solo.’

  ‘Tell me what happened,’ said Lil.

  ‘The Felluns want stone to build work villages; soft stone’s good enough for that,’ said Dol. ‘Craicanmar has good open faces to work. They came and started smashing – smashed us out of the rocks, killed some, took others captive.’

  ‘What about Tinrede?’ said Lil, intently.

  ‘Who’s he?’

  ‘The Tuner, Tinrede.’

  ‘I thought he was made up.’

  ‘He isn’t made up. When he finished tuning Craicanmar he kept to his craic except when there was a sounding at the Ganny.’

  ‘Is he aged-tall, long hands, beautiful ears, frilly like open flowers?’

  ‘That would be him.’

  ‘He was the one who resisted. He led the Felluns a chase in and out of craics. They blasted him out, smoked him, crooked him; when they finally got a hold on him, he loosed some terrible, terrible songs. He said he would sing till they killed him. So they did.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘They bound his hands, legs and mouth. He stopped struggling and died.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I saw him choose death.’

  ‘Your mother?’

  ‘Taken. Most of us were taken. I was no bigger than a lizard so I snuck away. They never saw me go. Mol has gone her own way listening for better tunes. What will you do?’

  ‘My fork is warped,’ Lil confessed. ‘Now the Tuner has gone it can’t be righted. I will go to stand.’

  Dol made a pie mouth. ‘That isn’t you, Auntie. I’ve heard about you. You’re a fighter.’

  ‘There’s nothing left to fight for,’ said Lil.

  Some days of travel through the Cracnazy remained. Lil’s dull silence dragged them all down. The mazes grew tighter and twistier.

  ‘I can’t stand much more of this,’ said Gritty. ‘If only we could go ten paces in a straight line. How much further is it, Lil?’

  Lil did not answer; there was no need. Within minutes Gritty had her wish. They were out. It wasn’t the out they had hoped for; they were still enclosed by rock walls, but there was a good stretch of open ground and a wide sky. Gritty twirled with her arms wide.

  ‘We’ll have a breather,’ said Alas. The waifs sat among broken stones and ate Clair’s bread. Lil walked away from them.

  ‘Hear that?’ said Gritty.

  They stopped chewing and listened.

  ‘Reckon I know what that is,’ said Alas. He called to Lil. ‘Is that the storm wall?’

  Lil turned around. She gave them a long look. Then she did a circuit of the enclosure testing the walls.

  ‘She makes me shiver sometimes,’ said Gritty. ‘Ganny eyes without the water. Deep holes of nothing.’

  ‘They were always deep and full,’ said Oy, ‘not scooped empty like that.’

  ‘She’s looking for craics,’ said Alas.

  ‘Perhaps she’s going to make this her new home,’ said Gritty.

  They watched as Lil disappeared into several craics in turn. Some she tested more than once. One was tested three times. That was the one she chose. She went in and stayed.

  ‘She needs time to herself,’ said Oy.

  The waifs did not disturb her. They were glad to stay the night in the open space. The sounds from the storm wall frightened and excited them. The last barrier was close. It was formidable but they had a map. Real hopes crowded their minds as they made camp for the night.

  In the morning they were ready to face the mazes again. Lil did not emerge. The waifs waited. They agreed to leave Lil to rest after the shock she’d had. But when midday came they went to rouse her. The problem was they could not remember which of the vertical craics Lil had preferred.

  ‘It’s one of these three I’m sure,’ said Gritty, putting her eye to the craics. ‘Here, I got it. I can see a scrap of blue dress. Lil,’ she said softly then louder, ‘Lil. Are you rested enough? It’s midday. We should be getting on. Lil, are you awake?’

  A voice came from the rock: ‘Of course I’m awake. I didn’t come here to sleep, I came to stand. I told Dol I was going to stand. Didn’t you hear me?’

  ‘I didn’t know what you meant and I know you don’t like questions.’

  ‘Stop asking then. I’ll tell you but only so you’ll leave me be. You don’t need me to lead you out now. Climb up top and you’ll see the way. To stand means to grow backwards. I shall shrink and shrink further into this craic till I crumble away and leave nothing but a print on the walls. That’s it.’

  Gritty put her hand over her heart and swallowed. ‘I know how sad you are but what silly talk. We’re ready to go, Lil, but if you need longer we’ll wait.’ There was no answer. ‘Tell her Alas. Oy, she listens to you – tell her.’

  Oy and Alas told her but Lil only shifted and sighed. The waifs went away.

  Alas was eager to leave. Oy had a schedule in his head counted out in the number of doses of Linnet’s medicine that remained. They could afford to give Lil three days to come out, but no longer. Hunger and thirst would surely force her out by then. If it didn’t then she was serious; she meant what she said. Gritty was frightened. Lil always meant what she said.

  Gritty went to talk to Lil several times a day. Lil would not answer. Gritty sat and stared at the craic till she knew its every contour, every splash of lichen, every crumb of loose rock. When she wasn’t talking to Lil she talked to herself.

  At last Lil replied. There was frozen anger in her voice. ‘What is wrong with you flanners that you can’t ever mind your own business?’

  ‘I can, I can. But this standing nonsense. You can’t mean it.’

  ‘There you go again, telling me what I can and can’t mean; saying that Dresh ways are nonsense. You offend.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I should have said it don’t make sense to me.’

  ‘It doesn’t need to. It has nothing to do with you. But I see you won’t leave me in peace till it does make sense, so listen: Craicanmar has gone; there’s nothing left in this world for me.’

  ‘There’s us. Ain’t we like family now? Just a little bit?’

  ‘No. I can’t find what I’m listening for. It’s gone. Now you go and let me stand.’

  ‘What are you listening for?’ Gritty put her eye to the craic. All she could see of Lil was a fine dark line. ‘Make me understand. Let me help.’ Gritty walked up and down kicking at stones.

  ‘Will you stop shuffling and go away,’ said Lil.

  Gritty rushed back to the rock. She spread her arms on either side of the craic and put her face up against it. ‘I can’t. I just can’t.’

  ‘This is my last word. I’ll never get my tuning back. Craicanmar was the master fork. Tinrede could have done it but he warn’t spared. There’s no hope.’

  ‘You don’t know that. There might be a wonderful life ahead for you: people and places and happenings you wouldn’t want to miss if only you knew they were coming.’

  ‘I shall never miss people or happenings. The one place I missed has gone. There’s nothing else to live for.’

  ‘You’re wrong.’

  ‘I’m never wrong.’

  ‘Really? What about when you drank Oy’s tea and lay down to sleep. Till then you acted like lying down would kill you. It didn’t. In fact I think you liked it well enough to lie down again in the desert. How else would that scorpit have bit high up your arm.’

  ‘Maybe it climbed.’

  ‘Maybe not. And I saw sand in the back of your hair.’

  ‘Maybe the wind blew it there.’

  ‘Maybe not. It doesn’t matter. You’re needed. I never knew about Craicanmar, Lil; no one did. We didn’t know the Dresh were there tuning things.’

  ‘It’s gone now. I’m no use on my own.’

  ‘You are some use. You carried us out of the desert. In Fellund you kep
t me going though you didn’t know it. You helped Linnet. You tuned Oy and brought his jenie back. I know you can’t retune the whole world.’

  ‘Then I don’t want to be in it.’

  ‘Ain’t it worth doing bits of it? Ain’t it really worth it?’

  ‘Why would I do that? What is it to me?’

  ‘I can’t tell you if you don’t feel it.’ Gritty was exasperated. She went on arguing but Lil would not be drawn to speak again. Gritty doubted that she was even listening.

  She went back to her friends. ‘Stony silence,’ she said. ‘I know what that means now. Whatever I said she gave me back silence. It was a deeper silence than the silence of the stones because she was willing it. I can feel it as I stand here: stubborn, stony silence.’

  Alas said they couldn’t wait forever. Gritty begged for two more days. Oy and Alas saw that she was desperate and agreed.

  Gritty went back the next day and the next. Oy went with her and again by himself but Lil wouldn’t speak to him either. Alas didn’t go. He didn’t know what to say.

  The time had come to go on. It was always the plan to leave Lil at Craicanmar. No one wanted it to be this way but they had to respect her decision. Gritty ran off for one last try. Lil had disappeared so far into the craic that none of her was visible. Gritty put her mouth to it. ‘Lil, the boys are wanting to go now. Please, please, please come with us. Won’t you? I don’t know why this matters so much to me. I only know I feel a whole lot better when I’m around you than when I’m not. I love your song: I s’pose that’s what it is. I don’t want it to be gone from the world.’

  Silence. Gritty left in tears.

  The boys saw her coming and stopped packing. They could see the clear tracks through the dust on her face. ‘No joy?’ said Alas.

  Gritty shook her head and began to roll her blanket. She stopped and curled over with her head on her arms. Her shoulders shook. Oy put his arm around her and leaned his face against her back. Alas threw his things down and ran off towards the rocks.

  He wasn’t gone for long. He came back and finished the packing. Oy talked soothingly to Gritty and helped to strap her bag. Alas took a final look around the site.