The Casual Rule

by AC Netzel

  I try hard not to stare, but I can’t help noticing that half of the celebrities I’ve read about in my gossip rags are sitting at these tables. Holy crap. I’m hanging with the A-listers. I hope I don’t end up on one of those “what not to wear” pages.

  Stay cool, Julia. Hide the fangirl dork lurking inside of you.

  “Vince!” Allie exclaims, waving to a good looking sandy blonde haired guy in a pair of jeans and a tight black T-shirt leaning against the bar, talking to the bartender. I knew this must be Vince by the amount of tats I see on his arm. Allie loves her tats. He looks up and waves, motioning for us to come to the bar.

  Allie grabs my hand and makes a beeline for Vince.

  “Hey baby.” Vince pulls her close and kisses her. Allie giggles like a schoolgirl.

  Allie giggling like a schoolgirl? This is new.

  “Vince, this is Julia. It’s our job to make sure she has a good time tonight.”

  “Nice to meet you, Julia. I think we’re up for that challenge.” He shakes my hand then puts his hand on the shoulder of a man standing next to him. “This is my friend Pierce Harrison. We had a consultation for a client earlier today. I invited him to join us. Pierce, this is my beautiful lady Allie and her roommate Julia.”

  I get why his name is Pierce. His baby blues pierce right through you and they’re mesmerizing. His dark brown hair has golden highlights that shimmer when the lights hit them and he has dangerously full kissable lips. He’s handsome, seriously handsome. He holds out his hand and shakes Allie’s and then mine. I smile politely at him.

  “Bruno, please send a bottle of champagne to our table,” Vince tells the bartender. The bartender nods while he grabs a tray. “Let’s sit. Our table is over there.”

  As we’re walking to our table, I pull Allie aside. “Is this a sneak blind date?” I whisper in her ear.

  “I swear it isn’t. I had no idea about Pierce, but look at him…yummy.” Allie winks.

  I have to admit, he is a mighty fine sight. And it’s nice to get out of my self-imposed exile from the real world. The four of us sit at one of the couch clusters. A server in super short purple hot pants and a low-cut silver spaghetti strap top brings our champagne in a silver ice bucket and four champagne flutes. It takes all my restraint not to stare at the celebrities sitting around us. I have to play it cool. It’s killing me. Maybe I can take out my compact mirror and spy on them.

  Vince pours the champagne then hands each of us a glass. “To friends, old and new,” he toasts.

  The four of us clink our glasses together and drink. Our conversation flows like old friends instantly. These are honest-to-goodness nice guys. Seems Vince and Pierce have been working on the Sinful account since the club’s inception. They share stories about building up the buzz for the club, the business end of marketing it and getting the high-end clientele… it’s all fascinating.

  Pierce tells us about his life growing up on Long Island, close to Jones Beach. Pierce, Allie and I compare notes on growing up so close to the beach. It’s amazing how Jones Beach and the Jersey Shore can be so different, yet the same. We come to realize that we have a lot in common. I find I’m actually relaxing and enjoying my evening.

  “There’s something I haven’t seen in a long time,” Allie whispers in my ear.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Your smile. I knew it was there somewhere.”

  I tilt my head and grin at her. Yes, it does feel good to smile again.

  I watch Allie and Vince, and I’m genuinely happy for them. He’s very attentive to her with his arm draped protectively around her shoulder, always asking if she needs a drink or if she’s cold. Allie looks positively smitten. Not in her usual lustful way, there’s something different in the way she looks at him. She likes him. I have a good feeling about Vince. He just may be the real deal for her.

  “We’re going dancing. Do you want to join us?” Allie grabs Vince’s hand.

  “Not just yet, go ahead. I’m going to finish my champagne. I’ll find you,” I tell her.

  “I’ll stay behind with Julia,” Pierce says, smiling back at me.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I tell him.

  “Someone has to protect you from all the vultures. I’d like to stay, if you don’t mind the company.”

  “Of course.” I smile. What’s to mind? Like Allie said, he’s yummy.

  Allie and Vince go down the stairs to the dance floor, leaving me and Pierce alone. It feels a little strange; I haven’t been alone with a man in a social situation, since…. No, I’m not going to think about him.

  “So, have you known Vince for a long time?” I ask.

  “About seven years. We met at NYU and became fast friends. I know you’re both from the Shore, but how long have you and Allie known each other?”

  “Oh, we’ve known each other forever, since we were kids.”

  “Vince seems to like her a lot, hasn’t stopped talking about her.”

  “Allie is the best.” I nod enthusiastically. This makes me happy to hear. Although my own love life is shit, Allie deserves some love in her life.

  “So Julia. Do you have a boyfriend?” Pierce asks.

  “No,” I answer a little louder than I intended, crossing my arms.

  “Sore subject?” I guess he picked up on my tone.

  “Dead subject,” I answer bluntly.

  “Very well, on to the living. What do you do?”

  “I’m an assistant editor at a small publishing house.”

  “That’s very interesting. We have a lot in common then, don’t we?”

  “How so?” I ask, twirling my finger around a few strands of my hair. Have I inadvertently gone into flirt mode?

  “Well, I market clubs from the ground up and you do the same with books.”

  “Yes, I suppose you’re right about that.” A wary smile surfaces on my lips. It feels like a lifetime ago since I enjoyed a man’s company.

  “Although how any of your colleagues could concentrate on working, when one as beautiful as you are in the same room with them is beyond me.” He arches a brow.

  I look down and blush. I look back up at him and smile. “Do men go to a special school for their pick-up lines? Is that where you all get them?”

  “Yes, I took a six week online course from Hookup University, or as we graduates call it, Hookup U. It was the best ten bucks I ever spent. You can’t go cheap for a good education.”

  “No, you definitely can’t.” I laugh. I like Pierce.

  “All kidding aside, you are gorgeous. Haven’t you noticed all the eyes on you from the moment you walked into the room? I know I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I was so glad you weren’t Allie.”

  “Pierce, this room is wall to wall models and actresses. I doubt anyone noticed me at all. But thank you for the compliment.” I tilt my head and smile.

  “Do you think I’m making this up? Don’t sell yourself short. You are the whole package. Look at that guy across the room. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since you walked up the stairs.” He juts his chin, pointing it to the corner of the room.

  I look across the room. Our eyes lock. My stomach sinks. It’s him…and he’s sitting with her. She must be very satisfied with herself. She got just what she wanted; Ben back in her bed. She has a fake smile plastered across her face. All the feelings I’ve been trying to swallow down are threatening to bubble back up. I have to fight it. Ben is leaning back on the couch with a scowl on his face. One hand is twirling a tumbler full of brownish liquid; I’d guess scotch, and the other hand is rubbing his chin. He’s staring at us, just staring. A chill runs up my spine. He looks majorly pissed off.

  I sink down in my chair. I don’t know why I’m slouching; he knows I’m here. It’s not like I can hide. I’m already found. He’s glaring right at me. No. I am not going to continue to allow him to break me. What the hell is he scowling about anyway? He’s got his recycled fuck buddy back. Of all places in the world, in a city with a gazillion clubs
, why did he have to end up here?

  I straighten myself up and hold my head high. I’m done feeling sorry for myself over a man who will never love me. Fuck you, Ben.

  “Pierce, would you like to dance?” I ask. I need an escape from Ben’s ice-cold glare.

  “I’d love to.” He stands and holds his hand out for me.

  I put my hand in his and stand. I straighten out my lace dress, what little there is of it. Pierce places his hand on the small of my back, guiding me to the staircase. I’ll have to thank Allie for insisting I dress up. I peek over at Ben. He is absolutely seething.

  See what you’re missing, you son of a bitch.

  As I’m cautiously walking down the staircase in my five-inch stilettos, paying careful attention that I don’t fall flat on my face, I see a shiny coin laying on one of the steps. I hesitate for a moment, ignore it, and move on.

  We reach the dance floor and lose ourselves in the crowd. Pierce is dancing close to me, and boy, can he move. He has his hands on my waist and we’re moving to the beat. I’m trying to push the fact that Ben is in the same building out of my head and enjoy this moment with a man whose company I was enjoying, and who wants to be with me.

  Pierce is twirling me around as we dance to our third song, when I spot Ben out of the corner of my eye on the dance floor. It’s obvious he’s looking for someone, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out it’s me. I pull Pierce closer to me and turn him to the side so he’s blocking me from Ben’s vision. I watch as Ben surveys the dance floor. He looks frustrated. Good. He turns his head and…shit. He sees me.

  I take Pierce’s hand and guide him to the other side of the dance floor. Once again we’re lost in the crowd, moving to the beat of the music. It’s getting more and more difficult for me to relax knowing I’m being stalked. My eyes are everywhere but on my dance partner, as I look out for another Ben sighting. My paranoia, anger and hurt overwhelm me. This is just plain stupid. I can’t play cat and mouse with Ben all night. It’s not fair to Pierce. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want a scene.

  I just want to go home.

  “I’m sorry Pierce. I need to get going,” I yell in his ear, keeping a careful eye on Ben, who seems to have gotten swallowed up by the crowd once again.

  “Is there something wrong?” he asks.

  “No, I’m just tired. I’m going to grab my coat and purse and leave.”

  “I’ll walk you out,” he offers, guiding me back to the VIP lounge to get my things.

  I grab my cell and send Allie a text to let her know I’m leaving. She texts me back telling me that she’s staying at Vince’s tonight. No surprise there. I’m a little grateful she’s not coming home; I don’t want to do a recap with Allie about our night anyway. Pierce escorts me to the exit.

  “Where do you live?” he asks.

  “The Village. I’ll take a train. There’s a subway station right across the street.” I fight the hollow feeling inside. I won’t cry over this man anymore.

  “I can’t let you take the subway to the Village alone this late at night. I’ll get a taxi for us and make sure you get home.”

  “Thank you, but that’s not necessary.”

  “I know it’s not. I want to. Please, Julia. Let me do this for you.”

  I’m so mentally drained from my near run-in with Ben that all I can do is nod appreciatively.

  Hailing a taxi was surprisingly easy. Pierce opens the car door. I slide in and Pierce slides in next to me.

  “Leroy Street. West Village please,” I tell the taxi driver and we’re off. I stare down at my feet while the taxi drives off into the night.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Pierce asks.

  “About what?”

  “That guy you were trying to avoid. I saw what was going on.”

  “He’s the dead subject.”

  “Is he harassing you?”

  “No. This is the first time I’ve seen him in weeks. I don’t know what his problem is. It’s over. We’re ancient history. I was just caught off guard; that’s all.”

  “The way he was looking at you, I don’t think it’s over for him.”

  “It never started for him. I was just someone to help pass the time.” I stare out the window, trying to hold back the tears that are welling up in my eyes, momentarily lost in the agony of that truth. The drive the rest of the way to my apartment is silent.

  We arrive at my building. Pierce walks me to the front door, asking the taxi driver to wait. I fumble with my keys at the door of my building until I finally get it in the lock and turn to Pierce to say good night.

  “Thank you for seeing me home. Would you like to come in? I have wine, I think, or I can make some coffee.” I know where this might go if I let him in, but I need to feel wanted. I need to experience something other than pain. I want to forget, even if it’s just for a little while.

  “I want to come in, but I’m going to pass. You’re vulnerable. I don’t want to be the guy that takes advantage of you. You’re so beautiful, sweet, and sexy; I don’t trust that I could stop myself.”

  I momentarily feel a pang of pain, rejected again…but as fast as that pang struck me, it’s immediately replaced by relief. My emotions are such a mess. He’s right. Maybe there is hope for mankind after all. I’m not ready. I’d never forgive myself if something happened between us. I’m not that girl.

  “You’re a good man, Pierce Harrison. Maybe another time? Without the drama?”

  “I would like that very much, Julia.”

  He leans in close; our lips hover, nearly touching. We hesitate for a second; I turn my head and kiss his cheek.

  “Good night, Pierce. Thank you.”

  “Good night, Julia.” He smiles warmly. I turn to let myself in the building when I hear him call me from the sidewalk. “Julia?”

  I turn my head toward him. “Yes?”

  “That guy is a fool for letting you go.”

  I cock my head to the side as I look at Pierce and smile, my tears threatening to fall. “Thank you.” I mouth back to him.

  Chapter 19

  Despite the late hour, I can’t sleep. I change into my flannel mourning uniform and head over to the kitchen. Taking a wine glass out of the cabinet, I walk over to the refrigerator and pour myself a glass of opened chardonnay.

  I actually thought about having sex with someone else, practically a stranger. I don’t know how I feel about this. Was it progress or a desperate act? I don’t sleep with guys I just met. Thankfully, Pierce was a true gentleman.

  I sit down on the couch and take a large gulp of wine. I’m such an ass. I can’t believe for a second, I considered whoring myself out to numb my pain, to make me feel wanted. Would I have gone through with it? I don’t know. I don’t think so. I don’t know. At least Pierce had the decency to leave before I made a mistake I couldn’t take back.

  I hate Ben. I hate him. Try as I might, I can’t stop the tears from falling as I stare up at the ceiling. Why? Why can’t I stop loving him? I close my eyes tight. “Please just make this pain stop.”

  Even though he’s out banging who knows who…Who am I kidding? I know exactly who. Still, I can’t bring myself to betray him. What is wrong with me? I don’t understand what tonight was all about. He looked pretty angry seeing me with Pierce. I don’t know why. He’s with his little whore. Perhaps he was coming by to pour salt in my wounds. Maybe he was trying to act adult and civil. He prides himself on the fact that he stays friends with all the girls he screws. Well, screw that. I’m not allowing him to hurt me anymore.

  Grabbing the tote bag with my stash of gossip magazines, other than cupcakes… my only true comfort, I kick my feet up on the coffee table and indulge in reading some trash. Maybe some useless gossip will help me forget how alone I feel for a little while.

  I’m finally dozing off once I’m into my third magazine and second glass of wine, when I’m startled by a loud p
ounding on the apartment door. Allie? I get up off the couch and peek through the peephole. It’s Ben, his arm extending out, leaning on the door. How the fuck did he get into the building? One of my idiot neighbors must have recognized him and let him in. Dammit. My stomach sinks to the ground, pain is back.

  “Julia,” he yells as he pounds hard on my door. “I know you’re there. Let me in.”

  I stay silent. What am I supposed to do? I sink to the floor and lean against the door. My heart aches. I have to find the strength to ignore him, even though every molecule in my body misses him. I can’t be with him anymore. He doesn’t love me. I’m just another notch on his bedpost, just another conquest. I must protect myself; protect my heart from falling any deeper for this man who doesn’t want anything more than a good time.

  “I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” He continues to pound on the door. “I can stay here all fucking night.”

  I’m sure my neighbors are enjoying the show. Screw them. I have to listen to their bratty kids screaming in the hallway all day…now we’re even.

  “Please Julia… please.” His voice cracks as he quietly pleads into the door.

  Tears roll down my cheeks as I weep. I close my eyes tight, placing my hands over my ears and shake my head. I can’t listen anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t do this anymore.

  “Julia… Please,” he quietly pleads. “Julia…”

  I remain silent, fighting the urge to open the door and fall into his arms.

  Fifteen minutes have passed. I haven’t heard a sound from Ben. I guess he finally gave up. I’m disappointed and relieved at the same time. I know I love him, but that’s not enough. He doesn’t want love. He wants sex; he wants a good time and nothing more. I don’t want to live my life in a permanent state of limbo. It’s too painful. Leaving him was the right thing to do. I’d just fall deeper and one day he’d tire of me and move on to his next playmate.