by Aidan Wayne
Neither Shade nor Chase made any move to approach him or speak to him until Chase had asked about dinner, but Chase got up twice and Shade shifted position significantly three times. Jason’s reaction every time was that of a war vet who was expecting the fight of his life in the next moment. Heartbeat increase, spiked adrenaline, subtle shifts in body posture.
Jason wasn’t the threat Shade had originally thought he might be, but he might still be a threat to Chase for different reasons. They would have to be careful. He said as much to Chase, who acknowledged the concern both for the reality of the situation and Shade’s personal paranoia.
But then what’s the point of him even having a Companion? Shade asked, trying not to scowl as Jason eased back into his armchair, picking up his book again. He’d already finished it once, but, back rigid, he opened it up to the beginning again and resolutely started to read.
You can’t tell? Chase asked, incredulous. Look at him.
I am, Shade said. And he’s not going to unwind for you—
Us, said Chase sternly.
He’s not going to unwind for us, Shade allowed, anytime soon. His biofeeds are like he’s being tortured.
I get the feeling he’d prefer actual torture, Chase replied. But you’re right. I’ve picked up on it too. But that’s our job. They want us to deal with his PTSD, particularly his touch aversion. Time and patience. That’s all. Aloud he broke the silence for the first time since Jason went to eat his dinner. “Jason?”
WHEN CHASE called his name, Jason jerked up, muscles thrumming to alertness. “Yes?”
“Would you mind if we spent a few minutes talking and getting to know each other a bit more? We went over compatibility basics and history at the Delegate, and neither of us want to attempt physicality until you’re more comfortable with the idea of us, but talking is a good way to bridge some gaps. And it’ll help pass the time.”
“You know you guys don’t have to stay here, right?” Jason paused. “You don’t, do you?”
Chase shook his head, one hand on Shade’s arm. “Oh no, we’re free to come and go as we please, as long as it fits the parameters of your care. But establishing a connection with you is my primary objective right now.”
“What about going to get your things?” Jason tried.
“I usually wait to unpack completely until at least a week or two has passed. That gives us enough time to see if we really will work well together. Otherwise it’s a lot of wasted effort. Not that I think it’ll be a waste in your case, but it’s still a good habit to have.”
“Oh,” Jason said. That was a good answer. And a nice dream; if they didn’t unpack, it’d be easier for them to leave. “Okay, then, talking… um, sure. Did you have a topic, or…?” He trailed off, uncertain. He didn’t know how to make small talk with civilians anymore.
“Why don’t we start with something simple,” Chase suggested. He nodded to the worn book in Jason’s hand. “It’s obvious that’s a well loved novel. What is it?”
Jason looked down at his book, surprised but relieved by the question. “It’s Bridge of Birds, by Barry Hughart. It’s, um, I’ve had it for years.”
“And what’s it about?”
“It’s a story about ancient China. But written as if magic was real. It’s, uh, it’s fantasy, but historical fantasy? I just—it’s well written and an easy read. A good book to get lost in. I always feel like I notice something new when I read it. Or I reremember something, at least.” He had to skip the parts where Rabbit described the torture, but even with that hiccup, it was one of his top go-to books. All the books he had on his shelf now were safe ones.
“I see,” Chase said. “That’s interesting. I’ll have to try it, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure,” Jason said. “What are, uh, what’re you two reading?”
Chase raised his eyebrows. Why? Because Jason had picked up on the fact that Shade was reading digitally again, not just napping or monitoring? That shouldn’t have been a surprise. It was kind of obvious.
“I’m reading your book on apartment decorating,” Chase said. “It’s surprisingly clever.”
“That’s why I have it, yeah,” Jason said, lips quirking up. “I don’t really use the advice, but again, it’s an easy read. Don’t have to think to enjoy it.”
“Brain candy,” Chase said. “I know a woman whose mother describes books that way.”
“Brain candy,” Jason repeated. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“And Shade is reading Asimov,” Chase said. “He always does in new situations. It’s his comfort reading, I think.” Shade shrugged and nodded, glancing at Jason before closing his eyes again.
“Asimov? I don’t… I don’t really know much about him.”
“One of the original creators behind the idea of sci-fi and artificial intelligence,” Chase explained. “Certainly one of the most popular. He coined the rule of three.”
“Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah, I know that.” A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. Jason glanced at Shade. “Comfort reading, huh?”
“Even if those rules aren’t ingrained into our systems anymore, Shade believes that sometimes it’s good to be reminded of why we don’t hurt others,” Chase said, after a moment.
Jason swallowed. “Yeah, I—that makes sense. I get it.”
IT HAD been amazing to see Jason talk about his book. He’d looked fond. The change in expression did wonders for him. He didn’t look so hunted.
Chase covered a few other mundane topics while trying to stay away from obvious triggers like “favorite food” or “job.” They discussed television (Jason admitted that he couldn’t handle a lot of that anymore; he mostly watched reality cooking shows and documentaries), favorite movies (all of Jason’s favorites had come out no earlier than five years ago), and favorite animal.
Jason had frozen solid for nearly twenty seconds and then muttered, “dog,” eyes darting to Shade before quickly shunting his expression. And that was very, very interesting indeed.
He’d excused himself shortly after that, retreating into his room. They could both hear the click of a lock, then a second one, after he closed the door.
“That went fairly well,” Chase said, after a moment. “And he’s just as smart and observant as his job gives him credit for.” Shade shot him a look and got up to check the kitchen again, on the off chance that Jason had eaten something more than the sandwich and they both just hadn’t noticed somehow.
Chase wasn’t optimistic.
JASON SPENT a few minutes just breathing, trying to collect himself after locking the door. He was in his space, on familiar territory—his mat—and he was alone and safe and not going to hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. He stayed with his head on his knees until his hands stopped shaking and then pushed himself up, going to brush his teeth and wash up for the night, getting it out of the way. It was still early, but maybe he could try for sleep. It wasn’t like he didn’t need it.
What he really wanted was a go at the bag, or a training partner who he could work with, but he didn’t get the latter for at least another week, until it was determined how Jason was doing with the Companion program, and the former was probably too loud for this time of day, with new people.
He started to stretch out instead, working on his breathing. Stretching was harder because it didn’t allow the same reflex-fight-mindlessness of fight training, but it did allow him to catalog his body, make sure everything was still there, still working right. And considering how hard he’d gone for the past few days winding himself up, it was pretty much time to stretch out everywhere.
He focused on his upper body for as long as he could stand, then moved on to his hips and legs, staying in positions until his feet started to tingle. The minutes ticked by.<
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When he was loose enough that he was starting to drift, he got up, easing himself off the floor. It was a shaky start, but he managed to wobble over to the closet where he kept his bedding folded up. He grabbed his pillow and comforter and gloves and lay down on the mat.
The problem wasn’t that sleep didn’t come easily. He worked his body so hard that he fell asleep quickly enough. The problem was what came with the sleep.
Jason closed his eyes.
HE WOKE up in one shot, body tensed from the urge to leap to his feet, the gloves on his hands a warm, steady reminder that he was home and safe. As he calmed his racing heart and struggled to push aside the nightmare (memory, a soft voice talking in French, barely a whisper as they told him—) He focused on his breathing, the sounds in the room. Nothing but the quiet buzz of his computer, which he had the bad habit of leaving on.
He’d—make something. Tea. Tea sounded good. Something hot and easy, comforting but no digestion required.
In the middle of unlocking his door to leave, Jason remembered that he had company now. That probably would be monitoring the fact that he was awake at—he checked his phone—two in the morning. But he guessed that was part of why they were there. He tried not to get his hackles up about it as he made his way to the kitchen, the door to his old bedroom staying resolutely closed.
The tea was just about done brewing when he heard the door swing open, followed by the sound of feet padding down the hall. Chase entered the kitchen a moment later. Slowly, with his hands up and open. Jason was glad he’d fought the urge to throw his mug at him.
“Hello,” Chase said, after Jason shrugged at him to acknowledge his presence.
“Hey.” Jason closed his hands around the mug, grounding himself with the heat.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
“I sleep fine,” Jason said. “I just wake up.”
Chase nodded. “I’ve met a lot of people like that.”
“Shade too?” Jason asked, after a minute.
“Neither Shade nor I really sleep in the same way you do. Though our processors rest as we back up the day’s input and cycle through experiences.”
“I know. And it sounds kinda like sleep,” Jason said into his mug. “If you don’t mind my saying so.”
“Not at all,” said Chase. “It does, in a way. And yes,” he added. “Shade sometimes has the same issues.”
The silence stretched. Jason tried to drink his tea. It was harder with Chase there. But damn if he didn’t have to get used to it, at least for a week. He could deal. He dealt with plenty worse out in the field all the time.
Of course, that was work. It wasn’t in his safe space. Which was supposed to be the one area of his life he could totally control the way he wanted it.
He could deal, dammit.
“I didn’t mean, uh, to make things awkward. Before,” Jason said, trying to break the silence, do his part. It wasn’t Chase’s fault he was here, not really. He was just doing his job. “With Shade and the… dog thing.”
“You picked up on something,” Chase said. “That’s all. I can explain a little more, if you want?”
“Does he?” Jason asked. “I mean, I don’t care either way. But it’s his shit. So only if he really doesn’t mind.”
“That’s why he doesn’t,” Chase said. “I have standing orders that if they ask, don’t tell. But figuring it out on your own and then apologizing for it clears you. And it’s good that you know a bit more of what you’re getting into with us. Past the initial briefings. We are hoping for a long-term arrangement. Or as long as you need a Companion, anyway.”
“You are?” Jason tried not to sound too incredulous. He drank some more tea.
Chase nodded. “We’re already quite compatible on paper,” he said. “And from our observations today, we both feel that this might be a very beneficial relationship on all our parts.”
“You do.” He couldn’t quite help the flat tone on that not-question.
“Oh yes,” Chase said. “But I can talk about that more later. For now, Shade?”
Jason looked around the kitchen, then glanced in the direction of the bedroom. “He’s awake, huh?”
“And listening, if you don’t mind.”
“We’re talking about him,” Jason said. “Course not.”
Chased smiled. “See, it’s things like that. That’s what I mean. Anyway, Shade’s last assignment as a Companion went… badly. The man was in need of a Companion, certainly, but should never have been allowed one. He was heavily into mods and robotics and loyalty.” He sighed. “As I’m sure you guessed, he tried and, to a point did, manipulate Shade into more animalistic characteristics. As of now Shade has enhanced smell and hearing, as well as several more doglike expressions and habits that he uses unconsciously. While the modification was several years ago, he also still remains mostly nonverbal. When he does talk, it tends to be disjointed and simple, though he can speak normally while synced. We think the speech limitation might have to do with human communication.”
Jason shook his head, reeling. To have been hacked, have characteristics implanted in you…. He’d experienced some terrible things, but that was mind-rape. He couldn’t even imagine what Shade had gone through to heal, how he and Chase had worked on it. He almost wanted to ask, but that was overstepping like crazy. “Some people are monsters” was what he ended up going with, trying to shove all his feelings into that sentence. “That really sucks. I’m sorry he had to deal with that. Is dealing with that.”
“It’s part of who he is now,” Chase said, after a moment.
“Yeah,” Jason said. He took another sip of his tea. “I get that, a little.”
“DOESN’T LIKE me,” Shade muttered when Chase reentered the room several minutes later. He moved over on the bed, allowing Chase to reclaim his side now that Shade had the real thing again and didn’t need the scent reminder.
“He likes you fine,” Chase said, curling around Shade. “For all that he can.” He wound his fingers into Shade’s and synced them up, closing his eyes and fully immersing himself in the experience.
Remember, he’s still new to this, to us, Chase said. If anything, he empathizes with you and so is even more worried about doing something wrong. This is not a man who is good with normal interactions.
Fight, flight, and freeze, Shade said. Instinct. He has that too. And…. Paused. Chase brushed his other hand through Shade’s hair, encouraging and comforting.
That, Shade said. He doesn’t have touch. Any touch. Except hurt.
We’ll work to fix that, Chase said. We’ll wait until he lets us in and fix that. That’s what we’re here for.
I… don’t like being reminded, Shade said, after a long enough moment that Chase thought he’d begun drifting.
Of what?
Of what I was like. Pain, fear, needing to follow, but not knowing why, not wanting to. That’s him. I-I was so unhappy. That’s him.
I know, Chase said, continuing to stroke Shade’s hair. I know. We’ll fix it. We made the pact. Until he’s better, we’ll work to fix it.
You made the pact, Shade said, sounding sullen. I’m just here. I can’t work.
And yet you’re paying attention to his habits, you’re monitoring his food intake, you’re learning how he interacts with the world around him. And you’re already emotionally invested in his well-being. You weren’t like this with our last human.
The last human didn’t want both of us. She just wanted you. She didn’t need an extra.
Which is why we suggested she get matched up with a much more suitable, and single, Companion. She got what she wanted, and now we have Jason. Who cares enough about you to worry that he’s crossing lines.
It’s something, Shade grudgingly allowed. More than a lot of people, H and AI alike, did.
I think tomorrow you and I should leave for a couple of hours to “run some errands,” Chase added. I want to give him his space back for a little bit. I think he needs it, and I want to know what he�
��ll do with the time. Besides, we need to learn the area better anyway. I have to find a good local grocery store. And someplace we can go on walks together. From the drive in, it looked like this building is in a pretty central area, but better to see it all ourselves. And we can pick up our things too.
Not going to wait the week?
Do you feel we need to?
Shade shook his head. Okay, he said, sounding fainter. His programming made him tire at a more natural rate than Chase did. Tomorrow.
Good night, love.
Good night, Chase.
“SHADE AND I want to go out for a while,” Chase told Jason the following morning, when he emerged from his room. “We’d like to get a better idea of the area, where things are, that sort of thing. I always do it when I take on someone new. Usually I’ll go together with my human if they can and have them show me around, but we were thinking about going alone together, if you don’t mind.”
“That’s fine,” Jason said, feeling a little brighter even with the lack of sleep. He looked over them both, dressed and fully alert. He was still in his sleepwear, trying for a semblance of a normal morning. “Did you want to go right now?”
“If you didn’t mind.”