All I Desire (Paradise Beach Book 4)

by Tamara Lush

  “A while back, I saw Chad. But I didn’t tell you.”

  I narrow my eyes. “What? Where?”

  “On the waterfront. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was him because he looked older and bigger. I figured it wasn’t worth telling you about it, at least that’s what Leilani said. I’d set up a hammock for us one afternoon when I saw him.”

  I nod slowly.

  “And, uh, sis?” He scratches his head.

  “Yeah?”

  “I also saw Matthew that day. And his daughter. I didn’t know who they were at the time, obviously. But I recognized him one day at the resort, or I thought I did. And then I was sure it was him I’d seen when we met at the brunch at Mermosa.”

  I gape at my brother. “So, you knew all this time that he had some connection to Chad?”

  Remy shrugs. “I didn’t know what the connection was, though, that’s the thing. Leilani said that maybe it was a business deal, or that he was just an acquaintance. And we both thought you looked so happy with Matthew…aw, hell, sis.”

  I press my hand to my chest, which is tightening with emotion. How angry should I be with Remy? Even if he’d told me, would I have believed him? Does it even matter now?

  “I wish you’d said something. Is that why you were so nasty that day at the party?”

  “Yeah. I saw you happy, but I had some misguided sense of wanting to warn you away without telling you why. Christ, I dunno. I was super shitty to you that day at the party when I said you were his manic pixie dream girl.” He grabs another handful of candy and shoves it in his mouth. “Ma and Dad told me how decent he was to you during dinner. And he seemed like an okay guy. Dad liked him a lot. I just didn’t like how he blurted out about Kate’s pregnancy, though that was your fault, not his.”

  My shoulders slump. Kate has since forgiven me for that particular gaffe, but that’s because she’s a saint. The least I can do is to forgive Remy, I suppose.

  I scrub my eyes with my hands. Can’t I just be alone to process this news? “Well, thanks for telling me, I guess.”

  “Have you talked with him since that party? I heard he beat the shit out of Chad.”

  I smirk. It gives me no small amount of pleasure to know that that’s the rumor going around the island. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but so be it. “I don’t know. I wasn’t there when it happened. And no, I haven’t really talked with him since that night. Just texted.”

  “What are you going to do? You two seemed well-matched.”

  “I can’t believe I’m having a heart-to-heart conversation about my love life with you.”

  Remy stretches. “Ask Damien. I give great relationship advice.”

  I roll my eyes. “Okay, Dr. Hastings, what do you think I should do? Be with Matthew and risk seeing Chad every so often? And what about his kid? What if you were right, that I’m not cut out to be a stepmom?”

  Remy picks some candy from his teeth with his finger. I pantomime a gag. “You don’t do that in front of Leilani, do you? Please tell me no. You are so gross.”

  “Of course not. She only sees the hot side of me. Let’s see. What should you do?” He pauses and stares at me with his whiskey colored eyes. Then he grins, that cocky Hastings smile. “I think you should take a risk and be with him. You haven’t had a real relationship in, well, ever.”

  “Thanks. Way to make me seem like a functional member of society.”

  His grin fades. “Seriously, sis. I feel like you got used to feeling shitty cause of Chad. It hardened you. You deserve good things, too. You can get used to happiness just as easily as anger and pain.”

  My jaw drops. “Whoa. You’re like a philosopher-fisherman.”

  The grin’s back. He stands up. “But you know I’m right. I gotta run. And as far as his kid? I think you’ll figure that out. The two of you seemed like you get along. You can be like her big sister. You’re pretty damn good at that.”

  Tears well in my eyes. I stand up and come around my desk. “Give your inept big sister a hug. You’re smarter than you look, you know that?”

  He folds me into his body. “I had a talk with Damien about what to say to you, so I can’t take all the credit.”

  “Figures.” I pinch his side and he yelps.

  For some reason, when he leaves, I smile for the first time in days. I turn to my phone and tap on Matthew’s number.

  Hey, you.

  His response comes almost immediately. Hey, babe.

  What are you doing tonight?

  Bringing Chloe to soccer. She made the team!

  Awesome! I was wondering if we could talk sometime. In person. You can come to the resort for lunch, or I can meet you somewhere.

  Babe, ALL I want to do right now is see you. But I’m in the cockpit of a plane. One of my neighbors here wants to show off his new toy. We’re about to take off. I’ll be back in a few hours, though. We’re headed up to St. Pete for lunch and back. I’ll come by afterward. Is that okay?

  I grin. I love his adventurous side. It’s so sexy.

  It’s totally okay. I’ve got plenty of work here. Can’t wait to see you later.

  XOXO, he responds. And finally, I relax.

  Two hours pass, and I’ve blasted through a mountain of paperwork. I can’t wait to see Matthew, although I’m still not exactly sure what I’m going to say.

  All I know is that I want him in my life. It’s also crystal clear that Chad has kept me from experiencing happiness in the past, but he sure isn’t going to keep me from it in my future.

  My phone rings.

  “Paradise Beach Resort, Natalia speaking,” I say.

  “Hello, Ms. Hastings? This is Lily Esmonde, the principal at Island Middle School.”

  “Hi there. If you’re calling about having us sponsor the school’s fall festival, I’m so sorry we haven’t gotten back to you.” Crap, am I that behind? I thought I asked my assistant to handle this. I turn to a stack of papers and leaf through, looking for the sponsorship info.

  “No, this isn’t about that. We’re all set with the festival. This is about Chloe Mancini.”

  I go still. “What about her? Is she okay? You should call her father right away. Do you have his number?” I roll my eyes at my stupidity. Of course they have his number. He’s her father.

  “Well, that’s the thing. Chloe’s fine. It’s her dad. He’s been in a plane crash.”

  “What?” I shriek. “Where is he?”

  “Ma’am, calm down. He’s at Island Hospital. We received a call from the local authorities.”

  “Is he alive?” My heart feels like it’s going to pound out of my chest. No. No. No. This can’t be happening. He can’t be hurt. Or… dead. My stomach rolls and bucks.

  “They haven’t released information on his condition. Chloe’s mom is out of the country for work. I haven’t told Chloe about the crash yet, but we asked her who we should call in case both of her parents can’t be reached. In case of an emergency. And she said you. You’re not her official contact, but since I can’t reach her mother…”

  I’m trying not to hyperventilate. “I’ll be right there,” I say.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  NATALIA

  By the time a teacher leads Chloe into the principal’s office, I’ve controlled my shaking. More than anything, I need to be strong for her.

  “Hey, sweetie.” I stand up when I see her. She’s wearing the school uniform, a blue skirt and a white blouse. She’s also toting a backpack emblazoned with the faces of—you guessed it—her favorite K-pop band.

  “What’s going on?” she asks, looking from me to the principal, who shuts the door and sits on a sofa. She pats the cushion next to her, but Chloe edges closer to me.

  Out of sheer instinct, or maybe because I’m the one who needs comforting, I slip an arm around her. She leans into me, probably sensing that something is terribly wrong.

  “My dear, your father was in a… plane accident. He’s at the hospital. You mentioned Natalia as an emergen
cy contact, but she’s not listed on your paperwork, so…” The principal looks at me, crushing a tissue in her hand. “Why don’t I take you both to the hospital?”

  I gulp in a breath and nod. The hospital’s only a couple of miles away.

  “How bad is he hurt?” Chloe’s face crinkles with worry.

  “We don’t know anything right now.” I trace the rust-colored carpet pattern with my eyes. “Why don’t we get to the hospital and find out?”

  “Wouldn’t they tell us right away if he’s dead?”

  I wince. The directness of her question steals the breath from my lungs. This cannot be happening.

  “Let’s think positively, okay?” I hug her to my side, and she gulps in a few big breaths. She’s trying not to cry, which makes me want to sob.

  Stay strong. Stay strong, for her.

  “Thanks for working with us, I know this probably isn’t school protocol,” I say to the principal. She nods and lunges for her purse, looking pale and alarmed.

  The three of us are silent on our way to the hospital. I’m racking my brain, trying to think of who to call for more information, but I also don’t want to alarm Chloe by talking about possibly awful things in front of her. And I don’t know how I’d react if I got bad news over the phone. Well, worse news than I’ve already gotten.

  We pull up to the emergency room entrance and the principal looks at me. “You two get out and I’ll go park.”

  I nod, terrified. Chloe and I scramble out of the car and rush into the hospital. There’s an older lady behind a circular-shaped desk, and we run up to her, breathless.

  “My dad’s here,” Chloe says.

  “Matthew Mancini. Plane crash,” is all I can muster.

  The woman nods and taps on a computer. There’s a pause that lasts seemingly for hours. I want to shake her. This is Paradise Beach, not Chicago, lady. How many plane crash victims have been admitted today?

  “Go down that hall into the ER, and a nurse will meet you there.”

  Chloe and I race off, holding hands. The ER is empty and spooky-silent. A woman in white bustles out of a doorway. I recognize her as someone I went to high school with.

  “Hey, Linda,” I pant. “We’re here for Matthew Mancini. What can you tell us?”

  “Hello. Yes, he’s here. Who are you to the patient?” she asks, looking from me to Chloe.

  “I’m his daughter,” Chloe answers.

  “And I’m his…” My voice trails off.

  “Girlfriend,” Chloe pipes up. The almost-sobs are back.

  “Okay. Well, here’s what I can tell you. Mr. Mancini’s quite lucky. He suffered a mild concussion, so we’re keeping him here overnight for observation. He’s given me permission to talk with his daughter and anyone else who comes in asking for him. Would you like to see him?”

  I let out a huge breath and nearly start weeping. “God, yes.”

  The nurse smiles. “Follow me.”

  She leads us down another hall and the walk seems endless. My heart’s thumping erratically and with each step, my legs feel like they’re turning to rubber. I glance at Chloe, who’s staring straight ahead. I wonder if she’s ever thought about her parents being in this kind of danger because they’re pilots.

  I take her hand. It’s gummy with sweat, or maybe mine is. She squeezes and I squeeze back.

  “Here he is,” the nurse says, stopping at a room to our left. She opens the door and there’s Matthew, lying in a bed.

  He looks at us and a grin spreads on his face. “Cubster,” he cries. Chloe lets go of me and flings herself on top of him. I notice that he has a red lump on his forehead. Other than that, he’s his regular, handsome self. Sexier, possibly, because he’s got a few days of dark stubble on his jaw.

  I’m in the doorway, weeping like a fool.

  “Daddy, you’re alive,” Chloe cries, still folded in his arms.

  “I am alive. Just a little rough landing. No big deal.” He winks at me. “I didn’t want them to worry you, but I guess they did. I guess they found my next of kin card in my wallet.”

  Chloe sits up. “The principal asked me who my emergency contact was because they couldn’t get ahold of Mom. She’s flying to Brazil this weekend. They asked me who they should call locally and I said Natalia.”

  Matthew looks at me, those dark eyes flashing. “I’m glad they called Natalia. Really glad. You did the right thing, Chloe.”

  He beckons with his hand, motioning me to come closer. I’m still a mess as I sit on the bed and crumple into him. He kisses my forehead.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I say, sitting up to gently smooth back his hair. “That’s where you hit your head?”

  “Yeah, just a little bump. No biggie. The pilot, my neighbor, had a problem with his takeoff and we overshot the runway. I made contact with the windshield.” He grins, and for the first time, I notice how tired he looks.

  “Which neighbor, Dad?”

  Chloe and her father talk about which neighbor and which plane—thankfully, that guy’s okay, too, though the plane’s nose is questionable—and I thread my hand into Matthew’s.

  “You’re both treating this as a minor inconvenience,” I observe, finally allowing a smile to emerge.

  “We’ve talked about contingency plans for accidents,” he says casually. “Haven’t we, Cubster?”

  She nods, all serious. “I think Natalia and the principal were more scared than I was.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “I think she’s right. Chloe was a bedrock of cool. And speaking of the principal, we should go find her.”

  “I’ll go! I’ll go!” Chloe says, leaping up. “Can I just walk out to the lobby to look for her? I’ll just take a peek.”

  Matthew touches her cheek. “Sure, Cubster. Just be careful and don’t go outside. Okay?”

  Chloe skips past the bed, obviously thrilled to be helpful. Or, she’s a little adrenaline junkie like her father; I’m not sure which.

  I turn to Matthew and press my hand to his cheek, the one opposite the lump on his forehead.

  “Hey,” I whisper. “Hey. You’re okay. Thank God, you’re okay. I don’t know what I would have done if…”

  I’m crying again. Great.

  “I’m fine. It’s nothing. It’s really good to see you. To talk with you again. I didn’t think it would be in a hospital, like this, though.”

  I sob out a laugh. “Matthew, I’m sorry I went radio silent this past week. I needed time to think.”

  “That’s okay. I understand. No apology necessary. I missed you, though.”

  “I missed you, too. And I want you to know something.” My throat feels sludgy with tears.

  “What’s that?”

  I fiddle with the neckline of his hospital gown. “Maybe this isn’t the time, or the place. And if you have a concussion, you might not recall what I’m about to say.”

  He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Tell me.”

  “I’m in love with you. And I don’t care that Chad’s your half-brother. I’ve decided that I need to live in the present, not in the past.” I sniffle. There. I said it. While looking straight into his beautiful eyes.

  A grin spreads on his face. “I don’t think I’ll forget that anytime soon. Concussion or not. And seriously. Chad doesn’t need to be in my life. In our lives.”

  Oh God, his words are making my insides gooey with happiness. Is this for real? I laugh and kiss him softly on his lips. “Does that hurt?”

  “Nope. I think it helps. A whole lot.”

  “Mmm. Here’s another.” I kiss him again.

  “Hey,” he whispers against my mouth. “I love you.”

  And we kiss softly, at least until Chloe walks in with the principal.

  “Eww, gross,” she says, and we all laugh.

  Epilogue

  NATALIA

  Two Months Later

  “Hey, girls, stick close to us, okay? I don’t want any of you getting abducted or anything.” I wave at the group o
f four ten-year-olds, drawing a circle with my finger. “Don’t wander off.”

  Chloe looks at me, hands on hips, squinting into the sun. “We’re just going to look at this sand sculpture right here. Okay, Dad?”

  “Fine,” Matthew says.

  We watch as the four of them giggle at a particularly muscular-looking sand sculpture of a shirtless merman.

  “I’ve gotta get a photo of that. I think that’s Remy,” Matthew says. He and my brother have become such good friends in recent months that we joke that they’re having a bromance. They fish together at least once a week, and Matthew’s teaching Remy to fly a small plane—much to Leilani’s displeasure.

  I giggle. “I love you, you know that? I love you for being another brother to Remy.”

  Matthew presses his lips to mine. “And I love you for being the cool aunt to Chloe.”

  I hold onto my straw hat while we smooch. I’ve been wearing something other than black lately: white. Even though it’s a week after Labor Day, I’ve shifted my wardrobe to something lighter to reflect my mood. Today, I’m in a white sundress and white flip-flops.

  Since the plane crash, Matthew and I have been almost inseparable. We’re not living together because we don’t think Chloe’s ready for that yet, but the day is coming. Maybe next year, after Max and Lauren’s wedding, and after Damien returns home. In preparation, I’ve started to purge a lot of my crap.

  Matthew’s told his mother that since I’m in his life, he’d prefer not to see Chad at all. The feeling’s mutual, apparently, and while I initially felt terrible and like I was causing a rift in the family, Matthew insisted that I shouldn’t have guilt.

  “I’m choosing my own family,” he said. “That’s up to me, and I’m quite comfortable with my decision. Besides, why would I want a guy like that around my daughter? I’m not losing anything; it’s not like we were close.”

  How could I argue with that?

  Meanwhile, my family has adopted Matthew and Chloe as their own. I was worried that they’d hold Chad against him and disapprove of our relationship. But Dad and Matthew had a private talk one afternoon shortly after the plane crash, and since then, no one’s uttered a peep. Angus Hastings has a way of getting his point across, and I think Matthew respects his methods.