by S S Bazinet
Elise looked around the kitchen. “I love it here. It was already beautiful when I moved in, but Arel insisted that I do whatever I needed to make it my home too.”
When Rolphe hesitated, Elise noticed he was frowning. “What is it, Rolphe?”
“I hope that William and Annabel work things out.”
“They’ve been downstairs for a while, and I haven’t heard any raised voices. So I guess they’re doing alright.”
“They’ve had a lot of challenges.”
Elise put the kettle on and took a mug out of the cupboard. “Rolphe, can I talk to you about something?”
“Of course.”
“Annabel told me a story about an angel who took off her wings.”
“I imagine she was an exquisite angel before that happened,” Rolphe mumbled. He looked up with flushed cheeks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
“So you believe it’s true?”
Rolphe studied his clasped hands. “Perhaps we shouldn’t talk about it.”
Elise pulled out a chair and sat down. “When Arel told me all those things that first night, you told me he’d been sick.”
“Yes, it was the truth. He had been very ill.”
“But was it the whole truth?”
“You need to talk to Arel about these things. Now please, excuse me, I better give Myra a call and make sure she’s okay.”
Elise watched Rolphe leave the kitchen in a hurried fashion and wondered why he suddenly seemed so nervous. She was feeling a little shaky herself. Going over to the counter, she poured some boiling water into her mug. She was about to carry it to the table when she realized she’d forgotten to put a tea bag in.
She reached for a box of peppermint tea. So many things were happening that were confusing, and her stomach needed soothing. But she didn’t know if anything would sooth away the doubts she had. If Arel did tell her the truth, there was so much she didn’t know or understand about her husband. On the other hand, did she want to know more than she did? Their lives had been so idyllic. Why would she want to do anything to change that?
Fifty-Nine
WILLIAM SAT IN the privacy of the lower level of Arel’s home. Annabel sat beside him. When he’d first come back to the house, she’d hugged him and made him feel welcome. But once they were alone, both of them seemed unable to speak freely. After minutes of silence, William knew he had to be the one to bring up the subject that was on both their minds.
“Annabel, it wasn’t fair of me to call you up and announce that I wanted a divorce. And I’m sorry for any distress I caused you. How can I make it up to you?”
“First of all, I’d like to know what prompted you to make such a call.”
“I suppose it was a moment of insanity on my part. But I do love you.”
“I see.” Annabel grabbed a throw pillow and hugged it tight. “I totally panicked after your call. I didn’t know how I was going to survive without you. At first, I thought it was because I loved you, but I’ve come to realize that there was more to it. We both know how scared I’ve been, how I’m always wanting a normal life. But I’m starting to understand that a normal life isn’t going to cure my fear.”
William reached out for her hand. “Annabel, I wish I could do something to change the way you feel—”
Annabel smiled and carefully pulled her hand away. “Strangely enough, I’ve felt better about everything since I’ve thought I’d have to be on my own.”
“Really?”
“So maybe your bout with insanity wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Maybe it’s what I needed.”
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“I don’t want to go back to the way things were.”
“You don’t want to be with me, to be married to me?”
“A part of me wants that more than anything. That’s the part that loves you. But there’s another part of myself that’s starting to feel good about being on my own.”
William sat back, digesting Annabel’s words. “I want that for you, too.”
Annabel smiled. “I’m glad. One of my fears is that you wouldn’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
Annabel put the pillow aside and stood up. “I want to stay separated.”
“Oh.” William managed one word, then remained quiet, trying to get his thoughts straight. He hadn’t expected Annabel’s announcement.
Annabel stepped back. “Could you stay at the condo for a while longer?”
William stood up too. He was still doing his best to understand Annabel’s proposal. “If that’s what you need—”
“For now, yes, that’s what I need.”
William looked around the bedroom, trying to decide what to do next. He was used to Annabel’s behavior being insecure and self-doubting. He hadn’t expected her to change so suddenly. “Then I’ll pack up my belongings.”
Annabel nodded. “I think it’s better if you do.”
* * * * *
Elise decided it was time to check on Arel. Meditating or not, she needed to talk to him. She still loved him, but was she fooling herself about what that meant. Had she been fooling herself all along? Arel seemed like the perfect partner, but perhaps she’d been ignoring things about his personality that she didn’t want to face. She knew that talking to him would help her to understand their relationship a little better.
She knocked on the door and quietly let herself in. “Arel?”
She called out his name in a soft whisper. Arel could be easily upset when something unexpected came his way. That was one thing she knew for sure, and she didn’t want to startle him. “Arel, sweetheart?” she called a little louder.
Arel’s eyes were closed. That was normal. However, when he meditated, he was usually sitting in a more erect posture. This time, he looked like he was asleep. Elise smiled, knowing Arel was probably tired and was doing more napping than meditating. But when she tiptoed over and went to gently shake his shoulder, his head fell back and his body nearly toppled off the chair. Elise had to hold on to his arm.
“Honey, wake up!” she called in a louder voice. It didn’t do any good. Arel remained unresponsive. Still clinging to his arm, she did what she could to get him reseated, but as he started tumbling over, she didn’t have the strength to keep him from falling to the floor.
“Oh my lord, what’s going on?” she cried. She didn’t know if she should call 911 or get Michael. Deciding on the latter, she ran from the room, yelling out in a panic. “Michael, come quick! There’s something wrong with Arel!”
Michael and Rolphe both answered her cry of distress. Both men quickly hurried to the master bedroom. Elise stood back as they gathered around Arel’s limp body. She listened as Michael gave a quiet order to Rolphe. “Let’s get him on the bed.”
Elise had entered the room with a need to know where she stood with Arel. Now she had her answer. With tears streaming down her face, she wanted him no matter what. She’d had the feeling before and let her doubts and uncertainties taint her feelings. Now, seeing Arel unconscious and wondering if he’d be okay, she didn’t care if he was an alien from outer space. He was her alien, and she’d deal with whatever that meant.
She crept over to the bed where Arel was laying. His head was at an off angle, and Michael gently straightened it. “What’s wrong with him? Is he going to be alright?”
Rolphe came over and put an arm around her shoulders. “Try not to worry. I think he’s doing a bit of astral traveling.”
Elise stiffened. “Astral traveling? To where? And why didn’t he come back when I shook him?”
“I’m not sure about how to answer any of your questions.”
Michael looked up. “Rolphe, maybe you better get William.”
* * * * *
William was in the downstairs bedroom, packing his suitcase. Annabel was giving him space and had gone out for a short walk around the block. He had mixed feelings after their conversation. He was happy that she was beginning to develop the self-confidence she nee
ded. On the other hand, he did love her. She’d become part of his life, and he hoped they had a future together. But nothing was certain. He was just getting a handle on his own life.
The sound of heavy footsteps on the outer stairs, made him look up. A couple of moments later, Rolphe burst into the room. The tall, imposing man’s face was contorted in a mask of anxiety. “What is it, Rolphe?”
“I have a bad feeling. Arel is off on another astral trip, and we can’t wake him up. Neither Michael nor I can penetrate his shields.”
“Arel is very capable. Have some faith that he’ll be back when he feels like it.”
Rolphe rubbed at his chest. “I wish I could believe that.”
William threw a pair of slacks on the bed and started for the door. “Sometimes I think you’re like some mother hen, Rolphe. You need to get a grip.”
As William climbed the stairs, he reminded himself to take his own advice. Arel would be fine. He was sure of it and walked into Arel’s bedroom with a renewed sense of poise and control. Elise wasn’t nearly as composed. She grabbed his arm before he could get past her.
“William, look at my Arel! He won’t wake up, and Rolphe says he’s on some kind of trip to who-knows-where. What are we going to do?”
William patted her hand and smiled. “Relax, this isn’t the first time Arel has gone off somewhere. Before you know it, he’ll be back in his body, bugging us all.”
“Back in his body?”
“Yes, astral travel involves the consciousness leaving the body. Arel is quite proficient at it.”
Elise blinked back. “You mean like when Freddie was lost? Arel seemed able to see where he was.”
“In this case, Arel’s left his body behind and actually projected his consciousness to another location.”
“Can you do it too, William?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Then go after him and tell him to come back!”
“Here’s the problem with that solution. I don’t know where he’s at. But like I said, you don’t have to be concerned. Arel is extremely skilled at this type of thing.”
Annabel came walking into the room, looking rosy cheeked after her walk. “What’s going on?”
Elise let go of William and reached out to Annabel. “Arel is gone. William and Rolphe said he’s left his body. Now, William is trying to convince me not to worry!”
Annabel looked up at William. “Is Arel alright?”
William nodded. “You know Arel. This is par for the course. So maybe you can take Elise and make her a cup of tea. And I’ll stay here and make sure all is well until Arel returns from wherever he’s gone.”
Annabel smiled at Elise. “William is right. You might not be aware of it, but this is typical behavior for Arel.”
Elise scratched her head. “I see I have a lot to learn. I guess I really am married to a space man.”
William ushered Elise and Annabel to the door. “Why don’t you two talk about it while I stay here? I’ll let you know when Arel comes back to us.”
After the two women left, William shut the door and walked over to where Michael was sitting on the bed. “Okay, so now that Arel has Elise scared out of her wits, what’s going on, Michael?”
Michael returned a quick glance. “I’m not sure.”
“But Arel is going to be fine, right?”
Rolphe came round to where William was standing. “We think Arel is with Col, but wherever they are, neither of us can breach the barrier that Arel has erected.”
William rubbed his eyes. His own energy was low, and he needed to recuperate after going off the rails himself. “So what else is new?”
“You don’t think he’s doing what I did with Col, do you?” Rolphe asked. “It was a great idea if a person wasn’t worried about permanently leaving their body behind.”
William wandered over to a chair and sat down. “Like I said to Elise, let’s have some faith in Arel. Right, Michael?”
“I don’t think Arel is always the best at planning, my friend,” Michael said. “But I know he always means well.”
William adjusted his shoulders, trying to stay clear-headed. He refused to entertain any doubts about Arel’s safety. He was doing very well at the task until he thought about the time Arel’s heart gave out, and Arel almost left the Earth permanently. He resisted the thought. “Poor planning or not, I’m going to believe in Arel,” he stated in a firm voice.
Rolphe sat down next to him. “And while you’re doing that, William, I’m going to pray.”
Sixty
IN TERMS OF Earth time, Arel didn’t know how long it had been since he’d taken up his station with Col. He only knew he’d been exploring extensively for what felt like a long time.
His original intention was to find out who Col was when he was still one of the “good guys” in Arel’s soul group. He’d succeeded in learning a lot, but Col refused to discuss any of it. That’s when Arel decided to simply pass the time in a meditative state, like Rolphe had done.
At first, it was a bit challenging to completely release his hold on personal thoughts. But when he did, he realized how amazing and freeing it could be. With no Earthly concerns to think about, his mind expanded in new and exciting ways. He began to play in fascinating cosmic realms, full of kaleidoscopes of color and swirling fields of malleable energies.
If he wanted pure serenity, he could tune into a black, velvet void that existed beyond the manifest worlds. Floating there, it was as if he was supported by the softest, most comfortable energy blanket in all of Creation. He could also dive into its depths. Like a deep sea explorer, he could dissolve into the most satisfying essence of pure love. It was the ultimate “going home” experience.
The only problem with what he was doing was that he often forgot about Col. He tried to wake himself up off and on, but it wasn’t easy. He was a child again, frolicking in a cosmic playground. Returning to where Col existed was getting more and more difficult.
* * * * *
If he’d had a mirror to look at himself, Col was sure his face held no expression. His once fiercely, brutal countenance would be as dull and lacking as a bag of sand. But he couldn’t see his face because he didn’t have a mirror. He didn’t have a single object in his space of confinement except for the park bench.
As for his mind, it felt duller than a bag of sand. And why wouldn’t it be dull. There was nothing to think about anymore. He’d used up all his thoughts during those first years with Arel. Since there was no outer stimuli, he’d played wonderful mind games at first. But eventually, even his mind games went bust. These mental pursuits, played over and over, without a moment’s rest, involved a future, and at this point, Col knew he didn’t have one.
On the other hand, his cell mate, Arel, cocooned in his little, protected bubble, seemed perfectly content. Col longed for enough mental or emotional interest to curse the bastard. But he’d used up all his rage and hatred too. Lengthy rampages, bouncing off the walls, always ended the same way. They never changed anything. He always ended up sitting on his few feet of space. After years and years of the same repeated actions, he had nothing left.
Still, there were those precious few instances when Arel would rouse himself out of his blissful stupor. Those were the only times Col held out any hope of something changing. And when Col saw Arel’s eyes move the tiniest bit, he knew this was one of those times.
He waved, whistled and even threw himself against the protective bubble that surrounded Arel. Most of the time, Col’s efforts went unnoticed, and Arel blanked out again. If that happened this time, Arel might not respond for another lengthy span of time. Col couldn’t let that happen. He started jumping up and down, crying out with desperation. “What is it with you two simpletons? First it was Rolphe constantly meditating, now you! You’re supposed to be here helping me to reach for the light!”
Arel’s eyes opened a little. “Did you say something, Col?”
Col immediately got as close as he could to where Arel s
at. “You did it again, you moron. You drifted off and left me here!”
“We’ve been together for a long time, Col, probably a lot more than a couple of years. It’s hard not to drift off.”
“Years? It feels more like centuries to me. Besides, you need to get back to your wife. She must be worried as hell.”
“Now, Col, how many times do I have to tell you that time there is different. She’s probably still having her afternoon tea.”
Col had another concern that needed discussing. “Well it ain’t teatime here! Aren’t you aware that we’re moving?”
Arel glanced around. “Are we?”
“Yes, every time you go into one of your trances, this place moves further and further from where we started. Take a closer look. The stars we used to see are gone.”
“Yes, you’re right, but it’s fine. Just relax.”
“Relax? That’s your advice? Where are we going to end up?”
“Who cares?” Arel smiled wistfully and closed his eyes. “It’s so peaceful here. I don’t know if I ever want to leave.”
“Wake up!” Col tried to scream out the words, but his scream wasn’t much more than a weak squawk. “Arel, let’s talk! I’m ready to tell you all!”
Arel’s lids lifted the slightest bit. “You’ve said that before, but you were lying.”
Arel was right. Col had made the same declaration about coming clean a number of times. But no matter what story he made up, Arel seemed to know that he wasn’t telling the truth. How could he? He’d been training to be a master of darkness for so long, any truth about his past was buried. Now, watching Arel close his eyes again, it was clear Arel had lost interest.
“Arel! Don’t go to sleep! What if you don’t wake up? Tell me what you want!”
Arel blinked a couple of times as if he was trying to understand what Col meant. “Sorry, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so stress-free before. You’ve been living in paradise, Col.”
“You are insane! I’m a prisoner!”
“Do you know what I think?” Arel mumbled. “I think you’re too uptight.”