To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1)

by Donna AnnMarie Smith

  I had to get a grip. It was just a nightmare, but so different from my usual one. He’d never been in my room and never almost raped me. Blowing out a deep sigh, I padded back to bed. Pushing the man from my mind, I allowed myself to think of Xander again. The thought of him warmed me, calmed me, and sleep came.

  “Two more days until school, Abby!” Olivia’s feet bowed the mattress with her tiny jumps.

  “I know, I know.” Ugh, it was six in the morning. “Are you excited for second grade?” I croaked, rubbing my eyes. Olivia was the early riser and you had to get a bullhorn to wake up Emma.

  After a botched pirouette, she exclaimed, “Yes! I met my new teacher yesterday and she’s pretty!”

  “All right, Liv. Why don’t you go get breakfast and I have to hop in the shower.”

  Tangled hair whipped around her as she bounced out into the hall. I closed my door and went toward my bathroom. A slice of light forced me to stop cold; the pink curtain was pushed aside—something I didn’t notice last night. Moving the heavy fabric, the window was unlatched but closed. Maybe Margaret cleaned in here and forgot to lock it. The alternative forced a shiver down my back, but last night was just another nightmare. If it had been real, I wouldn’t have been dressed. I shrugged it off, locked the window, pulled the curtain back into place, and headed into the shower.

  In the summer, the tap water was one temperature. Hot. Even with the tap all the way on cold and letting the water run, it would only get cool enough to be tolerable. With the shower beating on my back, my nightmare reentered my thoughts, chilling me. Once more, I forced the thoughts out of my head and replaced them with Xander. Did he go to the party or did he have a date? Maybe he had a girlfriend. That thought twisted my stomach. I had it bad. The real live version of Xander was even better than my dream. If there was any doubt before, there wasn’t now. I was hopelessly, madly in love with Alexander Wright.

  I brushed my teeth and decided to braid my hair back. With the weekly pillboxes filled, I swallowed this morning’s and took out the supplies to check my clotting levels. The alcohol cooled on my finger, I pricked it with the lancet, and placed a dot of blood on the strip. Once I cleaned up and put everything away, I put the results into my online account for Dr. Joe.

  I was sure there would be a cleaning list to accomplish today. Mom had already done the back to school shopping. Maybe Margaret would be in the mood for board games later. Downstairs, Margaret was already making breakfast. One look at her and I knew Olivia was determined to wake up the entire house. A third of the coffee was missing and Margaret’s deep sips told me she might finish the whole pot.

  “Good morning,” she yawned. “What do you have planned for today?”

  I crunched down on the bacon. “Hmm…” The overcast sky beckoned me. “Maybe I’ll go for a walk before everyone gets up.”

  She stopped flipping a pancake and waved the spatula at me. “Baby girl, take your cell, and leave the damn dog.”

  I took her advice. I also grabbed a bottle of water this time and put on my running gear. It was warm and muggy, but the clouds hid the sun and I didn’t have a seventy-pound lab pulling me.

  Before I put my earbuds in, the chatter of sparrows filled the air as they flitted from roof to roof, and then swirled around the oak tree across the street. I could have sworn something moved inside it, but it must have been my imagination.

  A few of my neighbors had avoided landscaping because of the heat; I had to duck under tree limbs hanging over the sidewalk. I stared at the Reynolds’ yard as I went past. Margaret called it “Saguaro Row” because their yard consisted of six saguaros, five ocotillos, and each type of small cacti known to man covered every available space in the rocky landscape. Either the Reynolds didn’t want anyone in their yard, or they were fascinated by the desert.

  Ants and their sandy hills occupied the cracks in the walkway. I stepped around them for fear of getting the bugs on my sneakers. When I was a kid, I sat in an anthill and my entire leg erupted in red bumps from their painful bites. I freaked out and earned myself another ambulance ride. I learned my lesson: avoid ants and invest in bug spray.

  Looking to the south, the Sierra Estrella Mountains caught my attention. I wondered what the Valley would look like from its peak and how long it would take to walk it. But like everything else requiring physical effort, I would never be able to hike. Then my mind wandered to all the things I would never do. Kissing was at the top of that list. And I was thinking about Xander’s lips again.

  A sharp pain shot up my leg from my foot twisting at a bad angle against the curb. Nursing it, I looked around. I wasn’t far from the neighborhood park. Gimping to the swing, I tried my best to avoid putting any pressure on my foot and the sinking sand wasn’t helping. I gripped the metal chain to ease down onto the seat. The burning metal should have been enough to remind me that plastic had the ability to absorb the scorching temperatures of the sun. After searing the back of my thighs, I pulled my sock down to reveal an already bruised and swollen ankle.

  Way to go. For the first day of school, I’d have crutches as an accessory. Danielle would get a real kick out of this. I took out my cell phone knowing Dad was home.

  I felt a warm touch on my ear and my bud slipped out.

  “You’re a little old for a playground,” the low, husky voice said.

  Xander was behind me, smiling. My heart rate jumped and my stomach either flipped or flopped, I couldn’t tell which. My eyes anchored down, then up. Running sneakers, legs bound in muscle, low-lying shorts with a white T-shirt tucked in the waist, ripped abs, tanned chest, strong jaw, and full lips stretched into a wide grin. Wait…that smile was bigger than it was a moment ago. He knew I was staring. He knew I was checking him out. Crap.

  “Hi.” I completely failed at keeping my voice steady as I took the bud from him.

  Holding up his hands, Xander’s eyes widened. “Did I scare you? I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  Xander scanned the park. “What are you doing over here?”

  I grimaced. “You’re gonna laugh.”

  His mouth tilted up on one side. “Let’s risk it.”

  “I twisted my ankle.” It sounded more like a question.

  “Are you a magnet for accidents, Abby?” Laughing, he walked around me.

  With a frown, I took my other earbud out and silenced Florida Georgia Line. “Yeah, I guess.”

  Xander knelt before me, holding up his palms near my foot. “May I?”

  “Sure.” I cringed, that may have come out a bit eager.

  With care, he lifted my leg and rested it on his knee. I was absorbed watching him; he even made untying a sneaker sexy as his muscles flexed and stretched from the tiny movements of his deft fingers. His hand skimmed over my foot and tugged off my sock. I was happy my toes were freshly painted pink. Long fingers wrapped around my ankle and they were warm against my sweaty skin. I figured this would hurt, but it didn’t. In fact, once his skin touched mine, the pain was gone.

  Across the street, a child cried out and stomped her feet. The mother stood her ground over the tantrum subject—a bike much too big for her. Xander’s hands heated over my ankle, fingers massaged me, and a sharp pain returned for a second, drawing my eyes back to him. When I looked down, he drew his fingers away. Both the pain and the bruises were gone. That’s just not possible.

  I turned my ankle over on his knee. “Wow. Can I add masseuse to your résumé?”

  His eyes sparkled up at me. “What?”

  “Well, I already have lifeguard, hero, dog rescuer, water boy, and now this.”

  Pulling his face into a serious expression, he confessed, “Technically, Caleb saved the dog.”

  “Maybe I should start one for him, too,” I offered.

  A chuckle rolled through him and a spark of heat shot through me. “Are you keeping tabs on us?”

  A nervous laugh bubbled out and I blushed. “No.” Yes!

  Xander rested his hand on my leg, whic
h was still perched on his knee. The touch was so casual, confident. Here I was a nervous wreck, staring at the half-naked man touching me, trying not to act like a spaz, and he acted like touching a girl’s leg he hardly knew was something he was all too accustomed with. And now I was thinking about the long line of girls that he had dated, kissed, and… Oh, I had to shut down that train of thought.

  He examined the grounds again with his brows knitted. “No dog?”

  “No, definitely no dog.” My head swiveled, too. “No brother?”

  “No, not today.” With a quiet laugh, a secretive smile appeared. “We can keep each other company. I promise I won’t run away from you until I get you home. No leash required.” He slipped my sock and sneaker back on.

  As I tied my shoe, Xander stayed kneeling. I didn’t look up, but I knew he was staring at me. He stood, held his hands out to me, and I took them. Butterflies. Swarms of the fluttery bugs were in my stomach.

  His voice turned into a sexy rumble that I imagined would vibrate through all of those impressive chest muscles. “Can you stand on it?”

  I stood and it felt fine, like nothing happened. How did he do that? He slid his shirt back on and I tried to avert my eyes from the last sliver of golden skin on his stomach, failing spectacularly.

  He must have caught me because that grin grew a few notches. “Good. Let’s get you back home before you get yourself into more trouble.” He was joking, but for some reason that comment made me feel like a charity case. He wanted to get rid of me so he didn’t have me as a burden anymore and he could get on with his shirtless running and non-sweating. How did he not sweat in this heat?

  A few steps into our trek home, he asked, “Are you sad summer is ending?” He was staring again.

  “No, I’m glad to go back to school. I’m getting a little stir crazy in the house.” After a pause, I braved a question. “How do you know Tyler?”

  The smile fell and awkward beats passed before answering. “I met Tyler through our parents. They’re mutual friends.” His voice sounded tight.

  “Are you new to this area? I’ve never seen you around before…the pool party.” Okay, not a complete lie. I had seen him at the hospital—I was sure of it. And there was that little thing about making out with him in my dream every night, but that was best left unsaid.

  More silence and he looked to the clouds. “Yes.”

  “Are you and your brother going to school nearby?”

  “Yes,” he clipped.

  Hmm. I had to ask a question he couldn’t answer with a one-syllable word. “What year are you in school?”

  He sighed. “Sophomore.”

  Okay, that sigh wasn’t good and the growing lump in my throat wasn’t either. I had annoyed him, which I didn’t understand. Either he wasn’t a talker or he didn’t want to talk to me. Maybe he was being polite and hoped I would say no to a walk.

  I didn’t know why I let myself get emotional over this guy. I hated it. I only knew the real Xander for twenty minutes. What was I expecting? This dream connection I had to him, irrational love for him, it was all me, in my own head, not his. My heart began beating faster and my breaths became shallow. I blamed the heat for the tears stinging my eyes, too. Biting my lip, I looked away.

  Xander came to an abrupt stop. “Abby, are you all right? Do you need to sit down?” He grabbed my wrist and I couldn’t help but let out a gasp. His touch was inhumanly warm.

  “I…need a moment.” I couldn’t swallow past that stupid lump and realized I left my water over by the swings.

  Leaning closer to me, his other hand cupped my cheek, forcing me to look into his eyes that were warm and concerned. How did he flip his switch like that?

  My heart slowed down and my breathing came back to normal. His hand was hot, but comforting against my skin, and he hadn’t let go of my wrist yet. We were standing there, staring into each other’s eyes in the middle of my neighborhood, our bodies inches away, close enough his cloudy scent blew over me. There was a flicker of something in his eyes when he let me go, a flash of regret maybe. His mixed signals were so confusing. I wanted to ask him so many questions, but I didn’t want to risk another one-word answer again. I kept quiet for the rest of the way and so did he.

  Nearing my house, I noticed the open garage door. Great. My parents were getting it ready to fix the drywall. Again. Bickering drifted out and Xander forged on. He didn’t hesitate. Crap, he was going in. I put a hand on his bulky bicep and tingles zinged through me.

  Without any filter, I blurted out, “Um, I should warn you, I’m adopted. You’d probably figure it out when you see how different I look from my family.” Well, that was smooth.

  He gave me a small smile and waited for me to go in. Mom and Dad wore matching looks of curiosity at this strange boy in their garage with their daughter.

  “Dad, Mom, this is my, um…friend, Alexander Wright.” Once again, it sounded more like a question. Was he my friend? Did twenty minutes qualify us as friends? Would Xander get offended I had labeled him as a friend?

  “Mr. Miller, Mrs. Miller.” His deep voice echoed in the garage.

  He shook Dad’s hand, then Mom’s. My parents didn’t speak. They were in shock or experiencing heatstroke. Giggles erupted from the corner, and much too late, I saw Emma and Olivia were here. Oh, I hoped they didn’t embarrass me.

  They bounded over to him. “Are you Abby’s boyfriend?” One second. Record timing.

  “Emma!” I was going to have to make her pay later. Maybe a wet willy was in order. My cheeks heated again. “Xander, these are my sisters, Emma and Olivia.”

  Glancing up to gauge his expression, he was watching me instead of looking at the girls. I mouthed, I’m sorry to him. His smile returned and he knelt, holding his hand out to the twins. They giggled at the gesture and shook his hand, pumping his arms up and down and he played along. He was good with kids. Maybe he had younger siblings.

  Mom finally spoke. “Alexander, would you like to come in for a while?” She gestured toward the door like there was a brand new car wrapped in a red bow behind it and I stopped breathing.

  “I would, thank you,” Xander said. “But I think Abby needs to lie down.”

  Mom and Dad snapped back to reality.

  “Abby? Did something happen?”

  I waved Dad off. “No, I’m fine. Worn out from the heat.” I hoped Xander wouldn’t mention the ankle.

  “Are you repairing this yourself, sir?” Thank goodness Xander changed the subject.

  Mom laughed. “He’s going to try.”

  “Yes, Alexander. I am.” Dad made a point to look at Mom and she rolled her eyes.

  Xander grinned at their exchange. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get going. It was a pleasure meeting everyone.” Leaning down toward me, his eyes twinkled, voice low. “I kept my promise, Abby. No leash.”

  “Bye,” I whispered.

  Holding my gaze, his smile faded and his brows pulled together. For a moment, I was stupid enough to believe this was it. He would ask for my phone number or a date, and then I remembered all the people gawking at us. He gave me a slight nod and turned. My heart dropped.

  As Xander strolled down the sidewalk, I watched him tear off his shirt, tuck it in his shorts, and break into a run. Kissing noises reverberated in the garage from the twins. Mom snapped at them to stop it, but she wasn’t convincing since she was laughing along. I hoped he was out of earshot with his superhuman hearing.

  “He’s cute!” Mom’s blue eyes widened.

  “Mom!”

  “Well, he is!” she said as if she were the authority on hot men. “How long have you been friends?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I met him a few weeks ago. I don’t know him very well.”

  She poked her head out of the garage to catch one last look at the Greek god running around like a mortal. “He likes you.”

  “Why does everyone think that?”

  Dad answered, “Abby, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.” The real
ization hit him as his head plunged out of the garage, staring after the guy he thought was interested in his daughter. Concern stretched across his face.

  I shook my head at him. No, he was wrong. He wasn’t there when I asked Xander those personal questions on our walk. Four times, I’d seen him and each time, it ended with a varied good-bye and nothing more.

  15

  Xander

  “He’s cute!” Was the last thing I heard before turning the corner.

  Circling back around the block, I hid among the rooftops, waiting. Hours later, the twins scrambled outside to play in the sprinklers and dance to country music. The back door opened again and everything else disappeared. Without telling my body to move, I crawled into a tree for a better vantage point.

  Abby wore the sexiest pink polka dot bikini with tiny bows on the hips and another one in the middle of the top. My entire body tensed and my hands gripped the tree limbs, snapping one. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. Toned muscles lined her stomach, the bikini bottoms hugged her slender bottom, and bronzed legs stretched from Earth to Heaven. My attention directed up to her breasts and stopped there for much too long. The soft, creamy skin of her tender swells hid behind those pink polka dots. Another part of the tree snapped. If I wasn’t careful, I would take the whole damn tree down.

  I was happy she was comfortable here and she didn’t hide her scar all the time.

  Sitting in a lawn chair under an umbrella, Abby mouthed the words to each lyric of every song. She made funny faces and arm gestures while I smiled the entire time.

  Emma cried out, “Abby, you’re not going to sing are you?”

  “Yeah, Abby. Please don’t ruin the songs!” Olivia pleaded.

  A grin that was an intoxicating combination of sin and innocence crept across those lush lips. Shooting to her feet, she belted out the words to the song. Her singing voice was off key and out of tune, but she laughed. She danced. I watched her small hips sway and arms move. No one on Earth could qualify this as dancing, more like flailing. She didn’t care. Abby was having fun. The way she smiled, her whole face lit up brighter than an angel’s light right into my heart. Mesmerizing me.