To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1)

by Donna AnnMarie Smith

  I said, “I guess I’ll go if you do.”

  Beth’s crescent paused outside her mouth. “Stay inside, no pools for you, and if you see Mark, kick him between the legs for me and woman-kind.”

  “Deal,” Mel and I promised.

  Stepping up to my locker, my phone pinged with a text from Jake.

  Party at my place Sat night?

  Well, I didn’t feel like such an outcast anymore. And it did improve my mood to know he thought I was cute. I was still undecided on Jake, we didn’t seem to have much in common, but going to his party wouldn’t hurt anything. I figured next time I saw him, I would tell him.

  I didn’t spot any of the Wrights yet, and I wasn’t sure what I would say to Xander today. I was hoping I could keep my cool around him. There was no need to make a fool out of myself. I had my pride, albeit wounded and rocking in the corner.

  I would have to keep faking until one day I fell out of love with him, which would be in eighty years…at least.

  The walk to the chemistry lab had me sufficiently sweaty. I opened the door and saw Danielle and Xander huddled at their station. With a flash to the clock, I checked the time again. It was early. Danielle never came to class early; I guess she needed the proper motivation. It looked like he was tutoring her. Great. First partner, then tutor, and soon to be boyfriend.

  I did my best to ignore them and the gorgeous smile Xander threw at me. Sitting down, I busied myself until Beth came in. Within a second, she read the situation and grimaced.

  I was convinced there was something anatomically wrong with my tongue that prevented me from rolling R’s in Spanish class. It was possible I spit on the guy next to me, but we both pretended not to notice. Jake wasn’t kidding. Ten minutes into class, Professor Reddish made a girl cry, but he yelled at her in Spanish, so no one knew how not to offend him again.

  By the time lunch came around, nerves gripped me, and I was determined not to repeat yesterday. Grabbing my lunch, I headed to our table. Mel, Tyler, Jake, and Beth were there. I scanned the room and spotted Xander, Calista, Hannah, and Caleb at a table engrossed in conversation. Sitting by Jake, I turned my back to the Wright clan, but I now had the scenic view of Mel on top of Tyler. Keeping my eyes down, I realized I should have brought earplugs.

  Jake scooted over to make room for me. “Hi, Abby.” He looked to me wide-eyed.

  “Hi, I saw your text. I’ll be there.”

  He smiled and relaxed. Was he nervous I would say no earlier? “Sweet.”

  The conversation diverted to football, and how the coach was a total jerk for not starting a kid named Nick. Beth and Mel rehashed a reality show, rich housewives or something. I tuned it out and picked at my lunch.

  Engrossed in making tiny balls out of my sandwich bread, I didn’t hear anyone come up beside me. A warm hand touched my arm, followed by a cloudy scent and my heart leapt. “Hello, Abby.”

  My mouth opened, but before words formed, Jake’s chair screeched and he stood. His attitude changed from relaxed to aggressive like a switch. “Hey, man. Thanks for saving our Abby at the pool party.” His words were meant to exclude Xander, like he wasn’t a part of the “our.”

  A different hand landed on my shoulder and it felt as though I were in the middle of a claim war. Someone would get the branding iron out next and erect a barbed wire fence. I squirmed as the cold from Jake’s fingers seeped through my dress. Between the two, I much preferred Xander’s touch.

  Xander’s jaw clenched and his eyes fixed on Jake, both boys still touching me. “It was nothing,” Xander ground out. His gaze fell on my shoulder, on Jake’s hand.

  Mel’s hands landed with loud thumps on the table. “Alexander, are you going to Jake’s party Saturday night? It’s down the street from Tyler’s. We’re all going.” Mel waved to the table.

  Beth wagged her brows at me and Xander saw her. Subtle.

  Jake flashed Mel a look that said, I wasn’t going to invite him.

  Xander answered her but looked to me. “Yes, I would like to come, thank you. I’ll leave you to your lunch.” His warm hand dropped, leaving me with creepy, cold Jake.

  Xander walked away with his head down. I realized he came over here to say hello and I never said one word to him. Leaving the Union, he texted someone and an irrational flare of jealousy spiked in my blood.

  I had a few things to pick up at my locker so I left everyone to finish. On my way out, I glimpsed Caleb, Hannah, and Calista still at their table, finished with lunch. They sat rigid, not speaking, with the same look in their eyes Xander had—hate directed at Jake.

  After algebra, I went to the biology lab and hit a wall of formaldehyde that stung my nostrils. Frog dissection day, how could I forget? Two hours of watching Will dance our frog across the table and then scream as we hacked into him helped take my mind off things. Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep Will with me for the rest of the day.

  I was last to arrive in culinary class again. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Bradley,” I panted out, wiping my brow.

  She patted me on my sweaty arm. “It’s fine, dear. Don’t apologize. Take the open kitchen there.”

  I looked to where she pointed, or I told myself to anyway, but my eyes stopped on Xander. He was staring at me with what I would guess was a look of concern. I had to stop guessing what he was thinking or I would drive myself nuts.

  We had our own kitchens today. No partners. No help.

  Stepping into my kitchen, I stared at a chicken thigh and two lemons. The title “lemon chicken” and the recipe were on the board. Sure, no problem. I could do this. I was in the corner with Mark on my left texting and Xander was a few kitchens down from me. My eyes sought him out before my brain could stop them.

  The oven turned on as per the board directions and I put salt and pepper on the chicken. I looked up and Xander’s head shot away. Was he staring at me?

  I grabbed the lemon and started zesting, everyone had already moved onto chopping herbs and garlic. My lemon kept slipping off the grater; eventually, I scraped my knuckle. The skin broke, which burned from the lemon. I rinsed it off and asked Mrs. Bradley for a bandage that I had to replace twice because the first two bled through.

  Returning to my kitchen, I looked at my yellow nemesis. I now had to cut it open and juice it. My knife rested against the lemon, but it wouldn’t pierce the skin. I tried again, nothing. My zested lemon somehow had possessed magical armor, impervious to sharp objects. With my last attempt, perhaps filled with a bit of pent-up frustration, I drove the blade down. The lemon spun out of my kitchen and Mark watched it roll by him.

  Xander caught the lemon flying past him with astounding reflexes; he picked it up and washed it off for me. He sauntered over to my kitchen—I knew because I watched him the entire way and that was definitely a saunter. “Is your finger okay?”

  Nodding, I sounded defeated. “We all can’t be Julia Child, right?”

  Mark scoffed, obviously watching us.

  Xander eyed him before bending toward me, his lips skimmed my ear, a smooth chin grazed my cheek, and his clean smell overpowered the garlic wafting from the other kitchens. His breath warmed on my neck as he whispered, “I’m glad you’re not. It gives me an excuse to come over here.”

  I turned into a puddle of girly goo.

  With a warm smile, Xander sauntered right back to his kitchen.

  I did make Greg and Jake happy, though. Their lemon chicken dishes weren’t the worst in the class today.

  20

  Abby

  The rest of the week severely lacked Xander interaction. In chemistry, whenever I snuck a glance at them, Danielle had at least one body part on top of, touching, or pressed into him. She caught me looking a couple of times and made a bigger show of how lucky she was to have him as a partner.

  As usual, they received a perfect score on their daily project. Thursday, I turned to squealing and Danielle had her voluptuous body parts smashed into Xander and kissed his cheek. I almost lost my Fruit Loops. It was a matter o
f time now. I heard my sisters singing Danielle and Xander kissing in a tree.

  I tried to avoid Xander, but he popped up everywhere, and I swore he knew when I was looking at him. Every time I thought I had the covert stare thing going on, he caught me. Nice. I couldn’t even eat in peace. He sat just a table away with his family. I kept my back to them, because if Danielle made her afternoon appearance, I didn’t want to see it.

  This week in culinary class, we were singles, and for each of those days, I was the losing dish in class. Jake and Greg decided to put a ticker up on the whiteboard. Xander was the leader with five points and I had the measly one, because Monday I happened to be his partner. Somehow, even pretty boy Mark was a better cook than me, but I never saw him cooking, just texting and primping.

  Jake turned out to be a talker and the topic was usually “Jake.” He was nice, funny, and good-looking, but after four lunches, it was clear that I didn’t have anything in common with the guy. I didn’t think there would ever be the double date scenario Mel was hoping for.

  Jake definitely had two sides to him. This Jake was nice to be around and this Jake was my friend. But the other Jake—when he was drinking and that creepy moment in the Union—he was different, darker.

  For my weekend homework, I had a test in algebra to study for and a paper due in literature. Saturday morning, after my medical regimen, I completed my homework and exercised from my air-conditioned, carpeted room.

  After a nap, I decided on a tight blue striped T-shirt dress with white wedge sandals, and I let my hair hang down in loose waves. Lining my upper eyelids, I dusted them with copper shadow and mascara. I finished the look with pink blush and gloss. I wasn’t a siren, but cute enough. Knowing Xander would be at the party had my stomach in knots, but I would stick to my resolve and at least appear unaffected by him. That task might require a lobotomy.

  Beth whistled and made catcalls as I neared the Lexus and I rolled my eyes. She wore jean shorts and a green tank top. How something so simple could look that good on her was just wrong. The form behind the steering wheel, though, made me pause.

  Mouth agape, I stood with the passenger door open. “Wow. Are we going to the same place?”

  Mel peered over her sunglasses. “Abby, Rachel will be there and I find it necessary to drive home certain facts.”

  I nodded. “Okay. Your point will get across fine.” As she grinned in appreciation, my eyes wouldn’t move from her dress or lack thereof. “Don’t you tower over me enough? Were the stilettos necessary?”

  Pushing her glasses up, she faced the road. “Yes, they were.” Standing next to Mel, I was going to look like one of Mom’s students.

  The entire week, Mel had been battling dirty sideways glares from Rachel and her crew and there was talk of Rachel getting back with Tyler. With Jake’s house as neutral territory, Mel wasn’t wrong. Rachel could be there tonight.

  The street was packed already, so we parked by the gate and walked; the music was loud enough to hear down the block. Jake and Tyler’s house had similar floor plans, including the yard with a basketball court. Inside, Mel found Tyler and wiggled her fingers as she left us. Beth’s friends from art class called her over and I waved her on. I spotted Mark talking to a cute blonde in the corner and I prayed Beth would be okay.

  It took ten seconds of standing by myself for awkwardness to kick in. A minute passed before I regretted coming. Three minutes…I had played out several scenarios on how to get home and I wasn’t above imagining a Pegasus or a magical rainbow. It was possible I’d seen the twins’ My Little Pony cartoon one too many times.

  From across the room, I heard “Abby!” Jake made his way over through a maze of bodies. I had to admit, his lopsided grin was pretty cute. “Thanks for coming. You want a drink?”

  I shook my head and realized his eyes were unfocused and I smelled the sharp sweetness of liquor on his breath. I hoped he kept it together and didn’t assault my clothing tonight.

  “Thanks for inviting me, Jake. Great house.”

  His eyes widened and his finger did an air-twirl. “Hey, would you like a tour?”

  I looked around while I thought over his offer. “Um, okay.”

  He guided me through the one-level house without taking me into the bedrooms, for which I was relieved. Jake did show me his parents’ office with a custom salt-water fish tank built into the wall. Jake sprinkled food into the tank and we watched the colorful swirls of oranges, blues, blacks, and yellows whirl up to the brown flakes.

  We breezed by the massive kitchen and into a game room hosting beer pong. Last was a dining room, emptied of partiers.

  “Is that you?” I picked up a picture frame from the server of what looked like a young Jake. He was about ten years old, wearing a ski suit on a hill of snow with a huge smile on his face.

  “Yeah, we go skiing up in Flagstaff every year.” He showed me more photos of his family on the walls. His dad remarried a younger brunette and I didn’t see pictures of any siblings. It occurred to me I didn’t know much about Jake outside of school.

  We made our way back to the family room where the music was the loudest. Jake’s ice clinked in his cup. “I’m gonna go get a refill, you want?”

  “No, thanks,” I said and he left me to people watch.

  Through the dancing bodies, I spotted Mel and Tyler in the corner. His hands were really roaming, but she didn’t seem to mind. Looking away, I somehow felt like an intruder, but that view would have been better than the next one that assaulted my eyeballs.

  My stomach dropped and my heart detonated. Over by the back door, they were dancing and smiling. Danielle and Xander. For whatever reason, my gaze started with feet and hers were nestled inside black heels sharp enough the TSA would deny travel. Next, a camouflage miniskirt revealed what color her panties were, and a mesh black top showed a matching satin black bra. Why did she even bother with clothes, why didn’t she come in her underwear for crying out loud?

  Whipping around them both was Danielle’s dyed, streaked hair. For each of her gyrations, Xander kept up with her. She was a good dancer. Slutty, but good. After rubbing her front over his, she turned to rub her backside on him. I guess even coverage was important.

  Xander wore a snug black T-shirt, dark blue jeans that hung low on his cut waist, and black Chucks. I liked those. I liked everything about how he looked, except who was draped all over him.

  I wanted to look away and I should, but jealousy gripped me. I had no claim on Xander, he could do what he pleased with whomever, and I knew that. But that should be me there. Well, I wouldn’t be doing that exactly. But that should be me. Danielle wanted another conquest. It was me who had always dreamed of him. It was me who was in love with him.

  French tip nails were all over him like a rabid squid. I couldn’t see any space between their bodies. At some point, her arms wrapped around his neck and she whispered to him. He laughed. He laughed? What could she say to get him to laugh?

  This was it. I had front row seats to the beginning of Xander and Danielle. Tonight, he would kiss her if he hadn’t already. Groping would ensue, and then removal of their clothes because they were in the way of the groping. Lips would be all over each other, hands touching parts only touched in private. Her blonde hair would spread over him as they moved like that in bed. Oh, they were going to have sex! The way they were dancing, they wouldn’t even make it to a bed; it would be down in the fish room. Those poor fish wouldn’t know it was coming, still happily sucking down their stinky flakes. They would scare the fish!

  I had to get out of here. I was a fool to think I could get over Xander. I was an even bigger fool to think I ever had a chance with him. A thesaurus of insults burst forth in my head. I was a naive, absurd, silly, ridiculous, insignificant, stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl.

  With an abrupt turn, I bumped into Jake, almost knocking the drink out of his hand. “Sorry!”

  Jake seemed unaffected by my klutziness. “You can bump into me anytime, Pink Polka Dots.�
�� Okay, did Jake think the nickname was cute or could he not remember my name when he drank? His green eyes were so dark they were borderline black and they raked over me. “Not bad. Blue stripes tonight. Heels. I like.” He saw me two minutes ago. Did he forget what I was wearing? “Pink Polka Dots, you sure you don’t want a drink?”

  Why did he keep asking me this? Did I have a look that said, I’m thirsty? What would that look like exactly, because I wasn’t stumbling around with my mouth open, begging for water. “No, thanks, I’m good. I was thinking of heading home.”

  Jake looked as though I said cops were at the front door. “What? You just got here! You can’t go. The party is just getting started. We have the whole night. Let your hair down for once.” It seemed like he was trying to jam all his reasons for me to stay in one breath before he forgot them.

  The song changed to something slower and I was happy to have my back to Danielle and Xander. If I had to look at them slow dance, this could get embarrassing for me.

  Jake put his drink on the counter. “Let’s dance.” He held out his hands for me to take.

  It seemed rude to decline when Jake had been so nice, and maybe I hadn’t given him a fair shot because I was hung up on a guy who clearly wasn’t interested. “Okay.”

  Placing my hands around his neck, Jake’s hold on my waist was too firm. He was sweaty, even though his skin was cold. The artificial musky scent he sprayed himself with would probably leak onto my clothes. Why did he put this much on? Was it hard to restrict your body spray to two squirts?

  With a rough tug, Jake pressed me against him. I wriggled back, but there was no moving him. Jake’s chest vibrated against mine and I thought he was singing, but it turned out to be some kind of groan.

  This dance was taking an unexpected turn.

  “Aren’t you glad you stayed? You were going to miss this.” He gestured to himself. Normally, that statement would have been laugh-worthy, but there was nothing funny about him.

  As we swayed to the slow music, his hands drifted farther down and they were definitely cupping the wrong cheeks. My heart raced and I opened my mouth to tell him to back off when his head dipped. I felt his mouth on my throat.