To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1)

by Donna AnnMarie Smith

  “Pat it dry!” Xander warned.

  I blinked up to him. “Huh?”

  Xander stepped into my kitchen, grabbed a few paper towels, and dried my fish. “Pat it dry first or the water will hit the oil and scald you.” Wow, he was really watching me.

  I lowered my fish into the pan, and while it cooked, I cut my broccoli. With the first inept strike of my blade, the cutting board flew off the counter and hit my toe. I let out a quiet yelp. Xander’s eyes locked on me with a serious expression and I shrugged. Lining my knife over the stalk again, warm hands appeared on mine, and Xander’s strong frame pressed against my back. Oh, his touch was distracting, but being a danger in the kitchen had its perks.

  His lips brushed my ear. “I need you in one piece for our date on Saturday.”

  Wrapped up in his arms, I tilted my head back to him. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be, I’m not.” Xander went back to his kitchen and I collected myself from my close encounter.

  Once again, Xander’s dish was the best in class, earning another tick on the board, but Greg and Mark tied for second. Sophie’s was a close third. Jake’s fish didn’t cook through and mine was a burned mess that no one bothered to taste. With a glance to the points, I was leading for last place.

  Jake was at my locker when Xander and I walked up. “Hi, Jake.” I didn’t know what mood he would be in since I did blow him off at his own party.

  “Hey, guys.” He smiled brightly. Maybe the alcohol deadened the hit to his ego or maybe I made more out of the one-way make out grope fest than he did. Jake was confusing.

  I noticed his workout bag. “You have football today?”

  “No, heat advisory. We’re gonna hit the school gym.”

  Greg greeted Jake by ruffling his hair and the long brown strands stood up at all angles. “Hey, Abby.”

  “Nice fish in kitchen stadium today,” I said. “You’re turning out to be a good cook, Greg.”

  Greg puffed out his already huge chest. “Yes, I am. I’m secure enough in my manhood to admit it.”

  Jake scoffed. “Manhood, yeah right.”

  Greg turned on him. “You wanna go, Turner?”

  “Are you going to the gym, too, Greg?” Xander asked.

  Primping his hair like a girl, Greg batted his dark eyes. “You don’t look this good without working at it.”

  Jake admired him. “Greg, you do look quite fetching today.”

  “Aw, thanks, Jake. You do know how to compliment a guy.” Greg slugged Jake on the arm and Jake flew back two feet. We all laughed.

  There was talk of who could bench press the most and we left them to their bromance. Still smiling from my Jake and Greg encounter, Xander said, “I do like your smile, Abigail Miller.”

  A goofy grin plastered onto my face. “Thanks, yours is pretty nice, too.”

  27

  Abby

  The week crawled by, probably because I could think of nothing but Saturday night. Every day, Xander picked me up in the morning, took me home after school, and stayed longer than necessary before leaving. Margaret kept her comments to herself, but her glares spoke volumes.

  Xander and I touched at all possible moments as if we had our own gravitational pull. We ate lunch with his family every day and Xander scowled at Hannah when she tried to sit between us. I wasn’t complaining. I cherished every second, smile, and look into his amazing eyes.

  I didn’t know any more on the Wright subject than I had on day one, but it wasn’t from lack of trying. Anytime I asked them about their life, it became awkward. Just inquiring about their majors gave me panicked expressions. After a few days, I refrained from asking anything. I wanted his siblings to like me.

  Mel and Tyler had a couple of tiffs this week, but they managed their way back into each other’s mouth. I suspected Beth was lonely by how quiet she was. Both of her best friends had boyfriends; I was all too familiar with that. Beth and Mel assured me that they were happy for me.

  Though I complained, Mel and Beth gave me a silver bangle bracelet with flower cutouts, but it wasn’t a birthday gift. They called it an “awesome friend gift.” Cheaters. Xander noticed it and I had to cover with a lie, which I hated doing. My family wasn’t much better. Friday night, there was dinner at Gino’s, chocolate cake, and presents, but they spared me the candles and singing.

  That night, I dreamed of Xander. We were sitting at dinner and I demanded answers for each of my questions: how he healed my ankle, the dancing, the dreams, and why he and his siblings refused to answer my questions. He didn’t have any answers for me and I walked out on him.

  When I woke, I promised myself I wouldn’t do that tonight. I had questions, yes. Xander Wright was a mystery and I knew he had secrets, but so did I. I hadn’t been honest with him, either. My gut told me to trust him and I did. I hoped the fact he was my dream guy and I was hopelessly in love with him wasn’t blinding me. I had to give him a chance to open up to me, to learn to trust me. For now, it was enough to be with him.

  Margaret knocked on my door during my mini-panic attack over what to wear tonight. My room, which was normally spotless, was now strewn with clothes. Gripping my hair, I was lost.

  “Did a department store explode in here?” She scanned for a place to sit, and when she located my desk chair, she shoved ten pounds of clothes off it.

  “I don’t know what happened. I remember grabbing a few hangers, but when I looked up, my closet was empty.” I plunked down on the bed.

  She looked around the room as if it had changed in the last five seconds. “Let’s start with the basics. Do you want to wear a dress or a skirt?”

  That was easy. “A dress.”

  She asked, “What color?”

  LBD’s were good for a first date, right? “Um…black?”

  Rising out of the chair, she began sifting through the mess.

  “I thought you didn’t like Xander. Why are you helping me?”

  She had five black garments draped over her arm already. “I see how you look at each other. The boy has it bad for you, baby girl. I think he’s pretty serious. If you like him, I owe it to you to give him the benefit of the doubt. Now, we have to hurry because you look a damn mess.”

  We decided on a cute black dress with a slight scoop neck, high enough to cover my scar. It had a mesh overlay with a dot pattern and the skirt flared above my knees with three-quarter sleeves. I put earrings on and slipped into black suede platform heels.

  Margaret helped with my hair; she curled it and put it up in a simple twist with a few curls to accent my face. After lining my eyes, I dusted them with dark brown, applied pink blush and pink gloss, topping the look off with mascara.

  Margaret’s eyes shined. “He’s gonna fall over himself when he sees you.”

  “I hope so.” I truly did. I wanted tonight to be amazing and I wanted to be amazing for him.

  My dad, mom, and sisters were waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Emma and Olivia both squealed and said I looked pretty. Mom cursed under her breath because she forgot the camera and Dad announced he needed to get his gun ready.

  I rolled my eyes. “Dad, we don’t have a gun.”

  “Well, we should. I’m gonna have to scare Alexander somehow.”

  “Daddy!”

  He feigned an innocent shrug.

  Mom came back downstairs and snapped a few pictures. She wiped her eyes and complained her contacts were bothering her, but I knew better. Xander rang the doorbell and Mom told me to go back upstairs.

  “Why?”

  Her arms flew up and the camera would be in the wall if not attached by a string. “Because that’s what they do in the movies. The boy comes, he sees you walk down the stairs, his jaw drops to the floor, and that is what’s going to happen now. Get up those stairs!”

  I surrendered to her. “Okay, okay.”

  Standing at the banister, I realized how lame this was. How lame I was. I was doing what most girls got to do at age sixteen. Four years was a huge gap on th
e dating curve. I wondered how many fathers Xander asked for permission. Did he kiss on the first date? Would I kiss him wrong? Too much tongue or too little lip? Would he compare me to all the others? He had to have a few sexual partners at least. There were girls out there that knew what he looked like naked.

  I pushed the thoughts out of my head and drowned them in acid. I didn’t want to ruin tonight with jealousy. Even with the dreams, I had no claim to him. This was my first date with Alexander Wright and I wanted to enjoy every second.

  “Kate playing movie scene again?” Margaret giggled when she saw my face and sidled up next to me, both of us straining to hear what was going on downstairs.

  Dad opened the door, greeted Xander, and Mom was thanking him for something. Everything was too muffled to hear. Why couldn’t they talk louder?

  “Abby!” Cue taken, Mom.

  Margaret gave me a hug, wished me luck, and I flashed a nervous smile back at her. I went downstairs, gripping the wooden railing, praying I wouldn’t fall in my heels. My heart was beating fast already—the only thing worse than falling was having a heart attack tonight. Making my way down, I fought to control my breaths. My eyes found Mom first, holding a bouquet of yellow roses away from my sisters. Gazing up at me, Dad smiled.

  On the opposite side of the room, I saw him. Everything and everyone but Xander melted away. He looked impossibly sexy wearing black boots, belted dark blue jeans, and a long sleeve black dress shirt hugged all the muscles in his torso and arms with a skinny black tie. His dark hair was brushed to the side but still tousled the way I liked it. In his hand, another much larger bouquet of long-stem pink roses in full bloom. How did he know those were my favorite?

  Xander’s lips were slightly open and I had never seen his hazel eyes this wide before. Watching me step down, his face flushed. Stopping in front of him, the sweet, floral scent of the roses drifted up between us like a rosy cloud.

  Dad whispered to Mom, “See. We need a gun.”

  I ignored him and greeted Xander.

  Xander looked down at my dress and back up to meet my eyes. “Abby, you look incredible.”

  Mom gasped and I ignored her.

  “So do you,” I breathed out.

  Mom sighed and I ignored her again.

  “Are those for me?” I looked to the roses.

  He broke his stare and nodded. “Yes, these are for you.”

  “Thank you, they’re beautiful.” If he were standing any closer to me, he would be able to hear the loud thumping of my heart.

  “They don’t compare to you, Abby.”

  Another sigh erupted from my mom loud enough the neighbors could hear her. She was too much sometimes. Xander chuckled at her.

  I said, “We should go, Xander, before she breaks out into a show tune.”

  Mom took my flowers and said she would put both bouquets in water. Xander knew how to score major points with my parents; little did he know, the one needing convincing was upstairs. Xander put his hand on the small of my back as he led me out the door.

  Dad yelled after us, “Have fun. But not too much fun. Hospital bills.”

  I groaned.

  It was still bright out with the sunset hours away. Stepping down the drive, birds and cicadas sang as if they were our cheer squad. Xander held my hand and helped me into the cab of the 4Runner. This time, I caught him staring at my legs. He turned crimson and I smiled. I didn’t mind. I smelled something sweet in the cab mixed with the hot air and leather seats.

  I watched him cross in front of the windshield and knew I had to be dreaming. There was no way this was really happening. This beautiful man wanted to take me out on my first date?

  He slipped behind the wheel and started the engine. A large hand wrapped around mine, pulling my attention to him. Xander’s eyes were earnest, his voice soft. “In case I forget to tell you, this was the best night of my existence.”

  28

  Xander

  Abby was going on a date with me. She said yes. It still hadn’t sunk in yet. I would make this a special night for her, for her birthday.

  Hannah, Calista, and Caleb gave me advice. Too much advice. Every time I turned around, they told me where to take her, what to say, asked if I would kiss her. Their concerns became mine and I panicked over things I hadn’t even considered.

  Doubt plagued me and guilt riddled me to the core. I had to make a decision. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked Abby out on a date. I wasn’t fair to her; she didn’t know what I was, or what she was getting into. She had the right to know. My fingers hovered over my cell. I should cancel the date, back away so she could have a normal relationship with a human. The image of her smiling at another guy, touched by another, kissed by another soured my stomach. I jammed my phone back into my pocket.

  I had to get out of the house.

  I went for a fly. Usually, my siblings would have joined me, but they saw it on my face—I needed to be alone. We were closest to home when we were flying. Closest to Heaven. I wandered without a clue where to go, letting the moonlight guide me. After soaring through the mountains, I flew down into the valley and passed by a park. The nights were cooler and a few people lingered around the basketball court and playground. Perching in a tree, I watched the humans.

  My gaze caught an older couple strolling hand in hand, surrounded by their children and grandchildren. They smiled at each other and wrinkles from years of happiness had embedded on their faces. Only love passed between them. How precious that love must be to last so many years and share it with a family, their hearts growing with each addition.

  In that instant, my doubts vanished. I knew what I wanted.

  Through loops and turns, I flew around our mountains and stopped at a lookout point. The city lights stretched for miles. The stars were bright and looked close enough to touch.

  Sitting in the dirt, I spoke to God. I told Him I loved Him and I would always be faithful, but soon, I could no longer serve Him. He didn’t answer and I didn’t expect Him to. He knew my heart. Guilt plagued me, as though I was abandoning Him, breaking my Vow, but to walk away from Abby would destroy me.

  I made my choice, and when it was time, I would act on it. My desire was to be human, to grow old with Abby, to be loved by her as a man. I had to be patient. Now was too dangerous.

  This spot wasn’t far from Abby’s house. I imagined us here, imagined kissing her. Would she let me? I wanted to take her here and share this spot with her. The spot on Earth where I chose her.

  Through the unsolicited advice, there were a few useful ideas. Calista remembered seeing pink roses in Abby’s hospital room, which spurred Caleb to suggest flowers for Mrs. Miller, as well. Her parents seemed to like me. Mr. Miller shook my hand, and Mrs. Miller loved the flowers.

  When Abby came down the stairs, the world stopped spinning and breathing didn’t seem important. My eyes caught her legs first. The smooth, sexy muscles were highlighted by heels. The dress flirted around her thighs and emphasized a tiny waist. The black dress was striking against her tanned skin. Abby’s dark hair was up, showing the curve of her neck.

  Dark chocolate eyes shimmered, cheeks flushed, and her lips were pink and kissable. An erratic heartbeat grabbed my focus. Was she nervous like me? Could she tell?

  Abby twisted her fingers mindlessly in the car and her breaths came faster. Reaching over, I interlaced our fingers and felt her racing pulse beat against my palm. I had already sent my gift to my hand so she wouldn’t be alarmed when my skin heated like a hot plate. I didn’t want her to be nervous, but I took it as a good sign.

  I drove us to the movie theater; the parking lot was full, bustling with young people going out on their dates or group outings. And for the first time, I was one of them. After helping Abby down from the cab, I held her hand through the parking lot.

  Pulling the thick glass door open for Abby, the smell of buttery popcorn blew out with the cold air. She smiled and thanked me with each chivalrous gesture like she always did. Without asking, I chose a
romantic comedy, and at the concession stand, I ordered bottled waters, junior mints, and red vines. All credit went to Hannah.

  Abby blinked up at me. “How did you know those were my favorite?”

  My brows shot up and my pulse quickened. “Good guess?”

  She squinted. “Liar.”

  Crying took Abby’s attention off me and to the little boy that had lost his parents in the lobby. Abby bolted over to him, held his hand, and pulled him out of the dense crowd. Kneeling down to him, she dried his tears and stayed with him until his mother found him.

  I couldn’t help but smile as I carried our goodies to her. We found our seats, I threw the armrest up, and Abby snuggled against me. I found any excuse to touch her, lean into her, and during the movie, I held her hand in my lap. All my concentration went into those tiny fingers and how they would twirl in my hair, if I would kiss her tonight and how her lips would feel against mine. My first kiss.

  When the house lights came back on, I found her warm eyes. “Did you like the movie?”

  She nodded. “Did you?”

  My lips quirked to the side. “I don’t know. I was distracted.”

  Abby’s eyes widened.

  I tugged her hand and said, “Let’s go, I’m starving.”

  “Even after eating all the candy?”

  My face fell. I guess I had. “Sorry.”

  She laughed. “It’s fine, I’m just teasing.”

  The sun began its late descent, allowing the moon to have its turn. I drove and she didn’t ask where, letting me guide our date.

  From Calista, I knew Abby loved Chinese food along with her favorite restaurant. It struck me how much I had missed, that I didn’t have to be lost all these years. I could have been in Abby’s life, waiting for her. I could have been happier knowing her.

  Pulling into the lot, Abby turned in her seat. “How did you know I love Chinese food?”

  “Good guess?” I smirked.

  “Double liar!”