by Laura Winter
“Since you are all being disrespectful to our new student, let me introduce…”
The teacher’s voice faded out before I could get the name. In fact, I don’t even know who the teacher was referring to. There wasn’t a new student. Everyone had been present during attendance.
Suddenly my neck felt too weak to hold me up. My head fell forward and slammed into my desk, sending me into darkness.
32
Finnley
“No!” I screamed, stopping to turn around. “Mom!”
I knew Sean had chased after me, and despite telling her not to follow, my mom hadn’t listened. My dad wasn’t far behind. But now, her thoughts were gone from my head. They were there just a second ago and now… Sean was getting closer.
“Keep running, Finnley,” the voices sang. “Keep running.”
I wasn’t safe here. My legs burned as I turned and continued to run, weaving between trees and dodging branches. I couldn’t use my powers now, I needed to save that energy if I could, but I wasn’t going to make it much further. I couldn’t get to the house without leading them there with me. That was my hiding space, undetectable, and it needed to remain safe. Where else could I go?
I burst through the trees to the clearing in Forest Hills.
“No… no…” I looked around, helpless. I hadn’t meant to come here. I thought I was going away from this place. How could I have been so stupid? So distracted?
“It’s okay, Finnley. This is where we will protect you,” the voices rang again.
“Liars,” I hissed back. This is where I was going to die. This was the clearing from my nightmares.
Sean crashed through the trees and slowed to a stop. “Finnley,” Sean laughed, slowly moving toward me again.
I spun and continued to sprint across the clearing. Sean’s thoughts gave away his move, though, and I shifted left in time to avoid the fireball that roared over my right shoulder. I stumbled to a stop as the flames engulfed the trees, blocking my exit trail.
The voices sang back in my head. “Now is the time, Finnley.”
“Shut up,” I screamed, banging my fist against my head. I turned to face Sean. “You killed her, didn’t you?”
His smile curled. “Just following orders, princess. Didn’t even give her a chance to heal.”
The voices were back in my head. “We told you this would happen if she followed. You warned her. But we can still save you. Before your dad gets here. We can protect you, but you need to let us out.”
I gritted my teeth, fighting to stay focused on Sean’s thoughts. He was creeping closer, taking advantage of my distraction. I gripped my hands tighter against the little marble in my left hand, still refusing to connect with it.
“Kill him,” a single voice rang through my head. The others chimed in. “He killed your mom. We can help you get your revenge. Then we can stop your dad.”
“No, no, no!” I shouted back as they dug against me.
Sean looked confused, but continued to creep forward. “Come on now. I don’t want anything to do with you. My job is to get that power source and leave.”
The voices in my head flashed the scene again. Sean takes the power source and fails to use it, my dad takes it forcefully and uses me to get the power, and we both die by his new strength.
“Liar!” I screamed, the voices echoing in my head.
“Finnley,” the voices continued. “Your dad is too close. He’s going to use us, he’s going to steal us from you, and then he’s going to kill you.”
I started to shake. I had seen it a million times. My dad would use me to get the energy, and then he would kill me. The nightmares happened every night. I watched him stab me over and over again, right here in the middle of the clearing I tried so hard to avoid.
But the voices showed a new image this time. They showed me what would happen if I used the power. I could stop my dad, I could keep Aidan from manipulating me, and my mom. Sean lied to me, she was alive. My mom was alive again, but only if I stopped my dad before he found her body.
“What the…”
Sean’s voice brought me back to the present. The earth around us was shaking. My dad was close and the voices were getting stronger.
“Now,” the voices sang, getting louder as they chanted. “Now, Finnley, now!”
I had to save my mom. I had to protect myself. My hand gripped around the stone and I closed my eyes.
But I was too late. I felt the piercing pain and opened my eyes. My dad stood in front of me, snarling as he shoved a knife deeper into my stomach. I heard the skies rumble in response, getting closer until the noise was right on top of me.
I woke up to every light turning on in the room, blinding me just like the flash of lightning from my dad. But I wasn't in the clearing. I never was. I was always in this same room, in the same clothes, and choking down the same medicine.
I tried to sit up, but my arms and legs wouldn’t come with me.
“Idiot,” I said, pulling against the restraints that kept me tied to my bed. “You did this to yourself.”
“Shut up.” The nurse stood in the doorway with the cup of pills in her hand, glaring at me. There were a few bruises around her neck from where I had gripped her… how many days ago was that?
“I’m not talking to you,” I growled, dropping my head back to the bed. No pillow either. “You did that too. Why won’t you help me? All you ever do is hurt me.”
“Stop talking to yourself,” the nurse snapped.
I yanked against the restraints again to look at her. “Stop listening to me, I’m not talking to you. The voices are hiding, but they’ll listen to me. They said they’d help protect me from my dad and Aidan, but they aren’t here.”
The nurse rolled her eyes. “There are no voices, Finnley. Now, are we doing this the easy way or the hard way today?”
“Mean lady,” I mumbled, trying to dig into her head. What was in that cup anyway? What was she feeding me? Was she working for my dad?
I was clearly annoying the lady. She tapped her foot on the ground, impatient. “What’s it gonna be? I can go get the doctor, or I can get…”
“I’ll take them,” I replied, wiggling against the bed. I wouldn’t let her finish her sentence. I could take them today and give myself an easy morning. “I won’t fight… or bite.”
She came over and shoved the pills in one hand, unlocking the restraint before giving me the water from my table. I kept my promise and didn’t fight, swallowing and proving I had taken all the pills. Only then did she nod and unlock me from the bed.
“You know, maybe if you didn’t shout so much those voices would come back. They can’t get a word in with all your screaming and mumbling,” the nurse growled, finally releasing my legs from the bed. “Maybe if you’re quiet, your dad and Aidan won’t hear you and find you.”
“You’re right, mean lady,” I said, sitting up to rub my ankles.
The nurse just rolled her eyes, spinning to leave. I tried to dig into her head again. Why couldn’t I hear her? Why wasn’t my brain working? She was up to something, her and the doctor, and I would figure it out soon. But not now. I was tired and weak. I’d save up my energy and read her mind later.
Voices down the hall started shouting for everyone to get out of their rooms so I rolled out of bed and went to hide in the common area.
33
Finnley
I sat in the corner and rocked, holding my knees to my chest. There were more people in here today, and I knew they were watching me which made me fidget more. They didn’t watch with their eyes, but I could feel it. Their thoughts were blank, I was blank, but they had to be thinking about me. Why couldn’t I hear them?
The medicine. That mean nurse lady tricked me. Those poisons kept the voices away, they took my mind away. That’s why I couldn’t hear them. That’s why the voices were missing from inside my head.
The metal cuff on my wrist dug into my forehead as I pulled my hair into my fingers. The purple, tangled mess
was sweaty and gross. The color bothered me. I didn’t want the purple anymore. What a terrible idea to color my hair. Why would someone let me do this? And why wouldn’t anyone let me change it? I just wanted it out of my face so I didn't have to see the color. It just made me sick.
“Go away,” I whispered to a clump of hair that dropped in front of my face.
Immediately, I threw my hand over my mouth. I couldn’t make a noise or Aidan and my dad would find me. They were coming for me, but if I was quiet, they wouldn’t hear me. Without the voices, no one would be able to protect me. They should have been in my head, but the mean nurse lady took them away. I couldn’t find the voices if they kept shoving pills down my throat and sticking poison in my neck.
I had to behave better because the poison made me sleep. That’s when I was most vulnerable. Aidan and my dad could see me when I slept. They could sneak in and kill me, just like they did every time I closed my eyes. I was lucky to wake up to the mean nurse lady instead of them. Was that why they tied me down at night? Maybe they tied me down so my dad couldn’t come and steal me.
I wrapped my arms tighter as the door opened. Had someone heard me? I wasn’t making noise, how could they find me? Maybe they heard my fear, because the nurse and her big monkeys walked through the door. But they weren’t looking at me. They were more concerned with the new person.
My grip released from my knees as I scrambled forward, hiding behind the couch. I peeked over the edge to watch a boy my age walk in. He looked confused and worried, arguing with the nurse.
“I don’t understand why I’m here. I’m not crazy. It doesn’t make sense that my parents would just send me here with no explanation.”
“Shh, don’t fight her,” I whispered to myself.
The boy was dressed in the same clothes as the rest of us. Usually the new people wore different outfits or scrubs, any kind of clothing that couldn’t hide sharp things. I would know because I looked for them on everyone who came inside. I needed protection for when I was weak. Or I could use it to get rid of this purple hair.
The mean nurse lady turned away from the cute boy. “You’ll be able to see the doctor in the morning when he gets you your medicine.” She closed the door behind her.
“I don’t need medicine, I just want an answer,” the boy sighed, running his hand through his dark hair. He seemed disappointed.
“Whatcha doin’, Finnley?” Madeline asked as she slid on her knees, crashing into the back of the couch. It made a loud noise and the boy spun around. I ducked before he could see me.
“Quiet, Mads. There’s a new guy. He might know where my voices are.” I thought about putting my hand over her mouth but the monkeys didn’t like that. I put it over my mouth instead, trying to signal her to be quiet. She was bouncing and giggling uncontrollably.
“You think he’s cute. He is cute. You shouldn’t care about the voices. You know he doesn’t have them. No one does,” she said loudly as she jumped up and ran away, squealing.
I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes, relieved to be hidden.
“Hi.”
My eyes shot open. The cute boy was standing over me, holding his hand out to help me up. I stared at it for a minute, wondering what made him think I couldn’t stand. It’s not like I didn’t have use of my legs. I got up on my own and wrapped my arms tight around my stomach. “You’re tall.”
“You’re tall too,” he said, looking slightly offended that I didn’t let him help me stand. Maybe he didn’t know the rules. Yeah, that’s the only reason he would offer to help me.
I shook my head. “The monkeys don’t like touching. Don’t get me in trouble,” I whispered, dropping my chin into my chest.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to get you in trouble,” he replied, shifting in his stance. “Who are the monkeys?”
“All of them,” I said, waving around the room. I pointed to the biggest one who stood in the corner as he watched Madeline who had run over and thrown all the puzzle pieces on the ground. “The big one is mean.”
“Why are you in here?” he asked, looking around at all the people.
He seemed frightened by everyone’s lack of awareness, especially because Madeline and I were the only ones who were somewhat functional, and we didn’t exactly look normal. She was a wild creature and I was the skittish one. Well, besides Skinny. I couldn’t figure out what anyone else was doing here because they never answered me when I asked the same question. But now someone could respond, and was trying to get a lot of information out of me. That was suspicious.
“Why are you in here?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. If he was asking questions that no one else did, could he be a spy for my dad? What if he was working with Aidan too? I shouldn’t have started talking to the cute boy. I couldn’t trust him.
He frowned. “I don’t actually know why I’m here. They told me my parents admitted me, but I don’t know how that’s possible. I haven’t seen my dad since his retirement party, and I haven’t seen my mom in three years.” His green eyes locked on mine. Strange. The harder I looked, the more I thought something was off about them.
He started to get uncomfortable as I continued to stare at him. When you were locked in a loony bin, you didn’t really care about looking crazy. Everyone here already thought you were, or you wouldn’t actually be here.
“But you don’t look crazy,” I said, finishing my thought as he smiled. I leaned forward to get a better look, but he saw my movement and stepped back. I saw his face change in an instant. He thought I was insane. He was afraid of me. I shifted back to my heels as I backed into the couch. “Sorry,” I whispered.
He hesitated. “I just didn’t want to get you in trouble if you touched me.”
“I’m not crazy.”
“What?” he asked.
“You look at me like I’m crazy. I’m not.”
He shrugged and laughed. “The purple hair kind of contradicts that statement.”
“Do you have scissors?” I looked him up and down, trying to see if he had anything sharp I could use.
He stepped back again, nervous. “What?”
“Scissors? Or something sharp?” I asked, making sure I pronounced all the words clearly. I pulled a piece in front of my face and tugged at it. “I don’t like the color. I don’t want to see it. Or do you have a Sharpie? I can change the color so I don’t look crazy.”
He shook his head. “I was just making a joke. I don’t actually think your hair makes you look crazy. It’s different. I like it.”
I sat back down on the ground. “Don’t make jokes in here. They have a poison for that.” I pressed my hand over my chest. My heart was racing faster than it ever had before. I couldn’t get it to slow down so I just rocked back and forth to keep up with the beats.
The cute boy sat down with me, still keeping his distance. “So, if you don’t want to tell me why you’re here, why are other people here?” he asked, pulling at his sleeve. I saw he was wearing the same metal cuff I had.
“I have one of those too!” I smiled wide as I lifted my right sleeve showing off my cuff.
The cute boy didn’t smile. “Your wrist is bleeding,” he said. He tried to reach out but hesitated, remembering he couldn’t touch me.
I looked down, and for a split second, I swore the blood was blue. I squeezed my eyes shut and looked again. No, it was red. The damn poisons were messing with me.
“It’s okay,” I sighed. “We also match with Mads and Skinny.”
Without looking, I pointed my right arm around my body and behind me to show where Madeline had just knocked a chair over. My left hand reached over my head to point at Skinny on the couch.
“Skinny?” he asked, confused as he looked over the back of the couch.
I shrugged and dropped my hands back in my lap. “He won’t tell me his name so I had to improvise. He doesn’t really mind it, or much of anything. He just sits there.”
“No one else has these…” He tugged at the metal on his wrist, try
ing to figure out what to call it.
“Cuffs,” I said, helping him. “I don’t like that word though. It makes me feel like a prisoner.” I realized I had stopped fidgeting and pulled my knees against my chest, rocking again.
The cute boy’s face turned to concern. “Do you think you’re a prisoner here?”
I felt something burning in my chest. Somehow, my heart was hurting, and I felt it near this boy. Was that why my heart was racing? Why was this stranger concerned for me? No one was ever worried about me.
“They think I’m a prisoner, but I’m just hiding. They stole something from me, but I need it back before I can leave.” I threw my hand over my mouth. “Why did I just tell you my secret? I don’t know you. How can I be sure you don’t work for them?”