by Laura Winter
“Sorry Caden,” Madeline giggled.
That’s how I recognized the guy. He had been our tour guide a week ago. Madeline had run up and asked him all the hard questions she could think of. She had been quite the spectacle to the crowd. Mostly she was concerned she would never see her friends because we were going to be too busy with homework and studying.
“Hi Madeline. It’s nice to see you again,” Caden said, smiling. He nodded toward Madeline as he looked at me. “Your sister is a little ball of energy. I’m not sure how you keep up with her every day.”
I slid past Caden and into the elevator. “She’s not my sister,” I replied, slightly confused.
Caden turned around to give me a weird look. He was probably curious as to why we were carting around a five year old not related to us.
“She’s my sister,” Glitch blurted out, probably seeing the same look I had on Caden’s face.
That just made Caden even more confused. He eyed Glitch up and down as the doors closed.
“That was weird,” I said, looking over to Glitch. He just shrugged.
The doors opened on the eighth floor and Madeline sprinted off toward the girls’ room, dodging the boxes and suitcases people had left outside their rooms while moving in. Not surprisingly, Madeline was already strangling Finnley in a hug when we got to the room. Ellie was helping Luci sort through the rest of her boxes while Finnley wrestled with Madeline on her bed.
Their decorations were very conflicting. Well, Luci’s decorations were organized and color coordinated. Her wall decor was perfectly spaced and neat to brighten up the right side of the room. Finnley didn’t actually have anything on the walls. She had just dumped all her stuff onto the desk and into the closet so she was probably done.
“Ellie,” Madeline sang while Finnley was still strangled in her arms. “Can I stay here tonight?”
Finnley groaned and wiggled out of Madeline’s grip. “Mads, you get to take over my room at home. You should be happy we are leaving.”
Madeline huffed. “Fine. But I’m gonna study hard so I can come to college with you next year.”
Ellie sat back on Luci’s bed in a daze. “It’s Finnley all over again,” she sighed before looking up at me. “Nate, will you help me wrestle the little devil to the car?”
“Finnley or Madeline?” I asked. “Just kidding. I got her.”
I scooped Madeline up and over my shoulder as everyone laughed and said their goodbyes.
“Bye Finnley, bye Luci, bye Glitch!” Madeline giggled, waving as I carried her out the door.
Ellie caught up to us downstairs after a few minutes, clearly still emotional about leaving her daughter. She sat down on the other side of the bench, squeezing Madeline between us.
“Nate, do you think her uncle is going to come after you again?” Ellie asked, looking like she might cry again.
I shook my head, but it was Madeline who spoke up, acting like an adult.
“Jackson doesn’t come after any of us,” she said, reaching over to hold my hand. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, clearly hiding from Ellie that Finnley and I were going to look for him.
Ellie relaxed her shoulders. “Okay. I just don’t want to—”
“I know, and I’ll protect her,” I said, cutting her off. “You got her back again, and I won’t let anything break that.”
Ellie frowned. “But she lost you in the process. I know that’s not easy, believe me.”
“She’ll get there,” I sighed, watching a couple walk by holding hands. Finnley and I still had our moments, but it definitely wasn’t the same as it used to be. “Hey, I meant to ask you something a while ago… when you got into that place to rescue us, did you happen to get any of our things? Like…”
Getting out of that place had been a mad rush. We hadn’t stopped to look over any of the things in Jackson’s office. We were able to remake the key necklaces to hide our scars, but there was still something missing.
“I didn’t find her ring. I’m sorry,” Ellie whispered, reaching over Madeline to give me a hug. She knew. Ellie gave me a minute before she pulled away, smiling to hide her emotions again. “Now, call your mother every day or she’ll drive me more insane than this one.”
She pointed to Madeline who just giggled. I walked them to the door before Madeline jumped up and gave me a hug.
“Bye Nate!” She shouted as she dropped to the ground and ran off toward the car.
46
Finnley
First day of college and I was already regretting my 8:30am class. I was on my third cup of coffee and it wasn’t doing anything to help me stay awake. It was impossible to sleep in that tiny dorm bed and even harder to sleep when I was used to being with Nate.
I was clearly still winning the day because class started in five minutes and even the professor wasn’t here. Only four other students sat in the small lecture hall, and despite all the empty seats around, someone decided to sit right next to me.
“I think you’re in the wrong class,” Caden said, dropping his bag in front of him. He shook a protein shake in his other hand.
“I’m not,” I groaned, picking up my pen to pretend to write things in my notebook. Why was this guy always around? I was too tired to try to read his thoughts.
Caden stopped shaking his bottle. “It’s a sophomore advanced English class.”
“And I’m smart,” I said, glaring at him. “Are you sure you’re not in the wrong class?”
“Yeah, remember when you guessed that I was a pitcher? Well, you were also wrong about me being an average student,” he replied, leaning back to chug the rest of his drink. “Don’t tell the baseball guys, though. They prefer to keep their reputation as the party team. They’d never forgive me for being a nerd, let alone be seen hanging out with one.”
“I’m not a nerd, I’m a genius.”
“I didn’t think there was a difference,” Caden replied almost instantly.
I set my pen down but kept my eyes locked on my notebook. I couldn’t look at him, not when I was supposed to be engaged to Nate. I was supposed to have this connection with my fiancé, even more than the Blue Soul, but it wasn’t all there yet. I was missing too much, and Jackson had built up protection against us getting there. Would I ever be able to feel that emotion with Nate again?
“You know,” Caden said, pulling me out of my trance as he checked his watch, “if the professor doesn’t show up in fifteen minutes we get to leave.”
“He’s here,” I mumbled, playing with my empty ring finger.
I didn’t look up but sure enough I had guessed the professor’s thoughts correctly as the door opened and he hurried down the steps, chattering loudly but mostly to himself.
“Wow, I lost the bet I made with myself. I guessed there would only be three students here this morning,” the balding, overweight man said, waddling down the aisle quickly. He was only two minutes late and it already looked like he had run a marathon across campus to get here.
Caden leaned in uncomfortably close to whisper to me. “How did you do that?”
“Magic,” I said, flipping my notebook page. I hadn’t realized I’d scribbled the lyrics playing around in my head.
Sad Songs. Kyd the Band.
For an advanced English class, it didn’t actually sound that hard. The professor assumed everyone knew how to read a syllabus so he started the lecture after he finally settled in. Caden was writing furiously in his notebook, trying to keep up with the notes even though his thoughts seemed to understand everything that was being said. Despite being tired, it was nice to have more than one thing to focus on. I think I really did miss the voices in my head. They distracted me from my own thoughts.
As soon as the professor released us, I shoved my notebook into my bag, crumpling all the loose papers inside, and hurried out. Unsurprisingly, Caden caught up to me. I growled loud enough for him to hear.
“Are you going to stalk me? Because I can kick the shit out of you if I have to.”
I adjusted my backpack over my shoulder and kept walking. All I wanted was to use my class break to get caffeine without being followed. Just one minute alone to process the nightmare of spiraling thoughts I had just uncovered during class. Or if I could just survive until lunch when I could meet up with Nate, I could put all of this to rest… right?
“You think you can beat me? You’re half my size,” Caden said, not struggling to keep up with my strides. Okay, so I wouldn’t be able to walk away from this. Why couldn’t he walk slow like Nate?
“I’m barely three inches shorter, and I guarantee you won’t be saying that after I break your jaw,” I replied. I was especially dangerous now that I had my powers back, unlike my last punch to Jackson’s face. Oh, to be able to punch him now. I refocused as Caden waved his hand in front of my face, trying to get my attention. “What?”
“Uh,” he said, confused. “I asked if you wanted to get coffee with me. I have a class break and I didn’t have time to grab breakfast after lift this morning.”
I folded my arms, watching him carefully. “I have a boyfriend.”
He rolled his eyes. “So you’ve said. Am I going to have to preface everything I invite you to with the words ‘just as friends’?”
“We aren’t friends. I don’t know you.”
Caden slid in front of me before I walked away. “Usually that’s what people do when they get coffee together. They get to know someone so they can be friends.” Why am I still trying with her? This is what happens when I finally find someone actually smart and cool and ruin my chances by being myself.
Great, now I felt like an ass.
“Fine, coffee,” I groaned, pushing past him toward the glorious smell of coffee.
I stole the sugar jar off the counter and carried it over to the corner table. Caden was a monster, just like Nate, because he didn’t put anything in his coffee. I just needed as much sugar as I could get to survive the rest of today.
“So?” I asked, waiting for him to say something.
He watched me dump the sugar into my cup without looking. I didn’t worry about spilling because I was a pro at it. Caden was still impressed.
“So… what?” he asked.
“I have four friends total in my life, one of which is a five-year-old, so I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say here,” I said, shrugging.
He chuckled. “Well, why don’t you tell me what you did this summer? I’ll start and make it easy for you to one-up me. I played baseball in a summer league about ten hours away from here and I wasn’t the worst player on the team.”
Caden leaned back in his chair. I swear he was doing it on purpose to distract me… and I was embarrassed it was working. I didn’t want it to work; I wanted to not be in this weird, complicated middle ground of knowing Nate but not being able to feel what Clara had felt about him. I mean, I felt something more than the Blue Soul, but it wasn’t close to what he felt about me. And if I couldn’t get it all back, what would happen to us?
“You zone out a lot,” Caden said, throwing a straw wrapper at me. “Is this a side effect of the genius?”
“It’s a side effect of me spending eight weeks in a mental institution over the summer. Oh, and I was the best player on the softball team there.”
I didn’t flinch as Caden burst into laughter. “I thought you said you were a genius, not certifiably insane.”
“I didn’t think there was a difference.” Shit. The words just fell out of my mouth. Had I accidentally flirted with him? No, I was just trying to be a smart ass. I changed the subject. “So, normal social standards require me to ask what you’re studying.”
“Biology, specifically with a genetics concentration. Minors in geology and psychology,” he said, shrugging like he wasn’t also brilliant.
“So you couldn’t settle on one thing?”
“What can I say, I have a wide range of interests,” Caden replied through a mouthful of breakfast sandwich. “What about you?”
I shrugged. “Not sure yet. I was pretty good at chemistry… at least I think I was, but it’s probably best if I stay away from exploding chemicals. Maybe I’ll stick to a safe major like English or writing or something.” I brought my knee up to my chest. I had forgotten how to have a normal conversation not related to powers. I’m not even sure I had ever thought about my future before, as myself or as Clara.
“Well I don’t know what chemistry you took in high school, but I would have loved exploding chemicals. You have to be careful about those creative folks though. I hear they’re a little messed up in the head,” Caden replied, tapping on his temple.
“Like psychology folks? I told you I was in a mental institution. I think I’ll fit in fine,” I smirked, sipping my coffee.
Caden looked at me funny. “You’re a little odd, you know that?”
“I’ve been called worse,” I shrugged. “So why are you hanging out with me? Most people don’t try so hard after they meet me the first time.” I felt my phone buzz in my pocket but didn’t reach for it. I wasn’t thrilled to have Caden ask for my number again.
“I guess the hair and little girl wrapped around your neck intrigued me at first. But it’s not often you get the chance to meet someone like you,” he replied.
“Someone with purple hair? Yeah, it’s not that common around here,” I said, reverting back to my standoffish self. Trying to be nice was hard work, and Caden wasn’t making it easy by being superficial. The only reason I had friends now was because they had known Clara first. She was a fireball, but she still had a kindness in her that I couldn’t have anymore. That part of me had been ripped away without mercy. Clara didn’t see the world how I did. She was lucky.
Caden frowned. “I said it intrigued me. I meant meeting someone who is actually smart and has a personality. Usually you get one or the other.”
Shit, so he wasn’t being superficial?
His phone buzzed on the table, but he didn’t flinch. I nodded toward it. “You gonna check that?”
Caden shook his head. “You didn’t check yours so I didn’t want to be rude.” He shrugged when he saw my surprise. “What? It’s not that hard to hear a phone vibrate. Boyfriend?”
I pulled it out and nodded. Nate was checking in to see how my first class went. I looked up at Caden who still hadn’t checked his notification.
“You gonna keep your girlfriend waiting?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.
“Don’t have one. It’s probably my mom checking to make sure I ate breakfast or something. You know how they worry about the little things.”
“Yeah, that’s an understatement,” I replied. My mom was texting me every twenty minutes to make sure I was actually alive and not kidnapped again. In fairness, my track record the last few years wasn’t great, as Finnley or as Clara. It wasn’t hard to pick up that Luci and the boys were giving her full reports on my activities, including my food and coffee intake. Once we were done with Jackson, I needed to get away from all their worrying.
“So, did I pass the test?” Caden asked as he finished his coffee. He leaned back in his chair and stretched, making it really hard not to stare.
“What test?”
“The friendship test. Do I get to be your friend?”
I studied him for a second. Maybe having a friend who was smart and would give me a break on all this power stuff would help clear my mind. “I guess we can be friends.”
Caden looked satisfied with my answer. “So, can I walk you to class? Just as friends,” he laughed.
“I thought you couldn’t be seen with me in public? Aren’t you worried the baseball team might see you?”
“You think any of them are awake right now?” He laughed to himself. “They showed up to lift still hungover from last night. I’m sure they all went straight to bed after. I don’t have to avoid you until about two this afternoon.”
“Fine, but if I find out we have another class together, I’m going to really suspect you’re stalking me,” I said, throwing
my bag over my shoulder. I picked up my coffee and waited for Caden to join me.
“Unless you have genetics, lab, and psych today, I won’t follow you around. Though I suppose if you are in those classes, I should be worried you’re the one stalking me,” he said, holding the door open for me as we left.
47
Nate
Hey.
Finnley wrapped her arms around me from behind, balancing a full bowl of cereal in her hand. Good thing she was coordinated or I’d have a lap full of milk. She slid in next to me.
“Is that all you’re eating?” I asked, reaching around her hips. I loved when she sat next to me. I usually judged couples who sat on the same side of the table, but it worked for us. Not only did I get to be close to Finnley, she was also left handed so we could still eat and hold each other.