With Honor

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  Catching his breath and clearing his head, he asked, “What are you doing here?”

  “Thanks for the welcome. Holbert told me you were flying your new jet today.”

  Shawn glanced into the hangar where Holbert had amazingly disappeared at that moment. The man was dead meat. “But that doesn’t require an audience.”

  Her smile began to fade. “He said it’s a big deal. It’s tradition for a pilot to have someone cheer him on as he flies a new machine.”

  Oh, definitely, Holbert was dead. The man needed to keep his matchmaking skills to himself. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, Shawn nodded. “Sure, that’s the tradition. I’m glad you could make it, but you didn’t have to.”

  The smile eased back on her pretty pink mouth. Somehow it made him happy that she was there. He couldn’t argue with that emotion.

  “I’m not bothering you, am I?” Her glance dropped to the documents he still held in his tight grip. He’d forgotten them, and the papers were now wrinkled.

  “Nope. Just finishing up some minor details. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it home early last night. I’ve been going over the specs of the new plane.”

  “Hmm, I thought you were MIA because you figured I wouldn’t respect you after we had sex.”

  Damn, he had to give her credit. One never had to guess what occupied her mind or where she stood. “Are you feeling better?”

  “Just peachy.” There was a slight downward curve of one corner of her mouth.

  “Peachy? Hmm.”

  “We’re not going to be all weird around each now, are we?” she asked.

  This was an opportunity to tell her the truth. Plain and simple. She’d hate him, but at least he wouldn’t feel like a total shit. No matter what he did, doom loomed in his future.

  “Oh, silence. You regret it, don’t you?”

  “No, Jasmine, I don’t. And, I think it’s great that you came down here to watch me fly my jet. I’m just not used to having someone care.” He darted his glance to Holbert, who was back at the plane on the runway finishing up the last details. “I gotta go now. I’m due up in the air.”

  “Sure. Don’t let me hold you up.”

  Getting up from his desk, he moved around it, and stopped in front of her, trying for a casual smile. “I’ll talk to you just as soon as I touch ground. Okay?”

  “Be safe.” Her expression told him he’d hurt her again. Hell, he wasn’t good at this communication thing.

  As he strolled toward his plane, he felt her gaze burrowing into his back. The woman made him crazy. What had he gotten himself into? He knew better than this. A man shouldn’t get involved with a woman whom he couldn’t make promises to, and on top of that, she carried his child. But it wasn’t his baby.

  If his mother knew his actions, she’d roll in her grave or come back and haunt him for his stupidity.Damn, he did have feelings. He was far from being an ice king–he realized that more by the minute. Maybe that’s what scared him the most. Jasmine was different than any woman he’d ever known, and reached beyond his layers of protection. He had no right to have feelings. The lie would unravel and he couldn’t stop it.

  “She’s all ready for flight.” Holbert gave him the thumbs-up.

  “You and I are going to have a talk when I get back on ground, you hear, Holbert?” Shawn gave him his dead meat expression.

  “About what?” He seemed oblivious.

  “This special occasion in which you needed to invite Jasmine to watch my flight.” Shawn shook his head. “Keep your masterminded matchmaking away from me.”

  Holbert scratched his head. “Just thought she might like to see the one and only Conner show off his new wings.” Holbert did a good job at innocence.

  “Yeah, right.” He didn’t have time to sort through this at the moment. His brother may have enjoyed an audience, but Shawn didn’t need his ego inflated.

  Climbing into the plane, he checked all his gauges, prepared for flight, and gave Jasmine one last look. She waved. His heart tugged. He was taking out a plane, just as he’d done a hundreds of times, and this was the first time anyone gave a shit.

  Giving one last glance at Holbert’s mischievous smile, Shawn thought of one gesture he’d like to give him besides a thumbs-up.

  * * * *

  Jasmine watched Shane prepare himself in the cockpit of the plane. Her heart sank. In coming there, she’d hoped to show him she had feelings. So what did he do? His behavior made her feel like the needle that came to pop his favorite balloon. Instead of saying anything, she’d forced a smile to her lips as he said goodbye, but what she’d wanted to do was point her finger at him and give him a piece of her mind. She wondered if she could do it without crying. Her emotions were sensitive these days.

  Holbert raised a hand and she waved back. She would have stuck around to talk, but she didn’t feel much up for it. Pushing her sunglasses back onto her nose, she headed to her car. The job interview she’d scheduled for later in the day would keep her mind occupied. She was anxious to find work. Although she had an honest savings, she didn’t want to dip into her account except for emergency reasons.

  * * * *

  Jasmine sat on the couch half-reading a book. She was tired, but her thoughts kept her awake. She’d been waiting on Shane and her effort was fruitless. She dog-eared a page, ready to call it a night, when she heard the key in the door. It was eleven PM. Forcing her lungs to inhale and exhale, she concentrated on the words on the pages. Shane’s boots thumped across the floor as he came into the room. His gaze was on her; she could feel the heat. Casually, she brought her attention upward. Pretending little interest was difficult. He looked sexy in a white button down and jeans. The man certainly could melt her heart, even when she was angry. No words were exchanged. Sometimes silence was louder. He passed her and she slammed the book. He stopped. “So you do know your way home,” she said, unable to bite her tongue.

  He looked at her curiously “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m sure you can figure it out.”

  “Since we’re playing house now…” He shot her an annoyed expression. “I was here earlier. You weren’t.”

  His words snapped her back to reality. She got up and started toward the kitchen, needing to do something besides concentrating on the insecurity she felt. “I was just about to make myself a cup of tea. Would you care for a cup?”

  “No. I need a beer.” He followed her in and grabbed a cold bottle from the fridge and then took a seat at the bar.

  “I guess you do.” Dark circles lined his eyes.

  “Well?”

  Filling the kettle, she turned on the stove. “Well, what?”

  “I was supposed to cook for you tonight,” he said.

  “I thought the bet was off.” He seemed edgy. Something bothered him and she had the feeling it wasn’t because they’d made love. He played with the salt and pepper shakers. “You don’t call or show up, Shane. I never know when you’ll bounce in or out. I know I can’t expect you to include me in what you do, but it’s out of respect that you’d tell me that you’re leaving and won’t be back. Tonight I had plans. I would have left you a note, but I guess I figured it didn’t matter.”

  “I was worried when I came home and you were gone,” he said.

  “Maybe I worry too. You pull the disappearing act quite often.”

  He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m not used to worrying about anyone or having anyone worry about me. This is new. I thought maybe you’d decided to leave for good.”

  “This is new for me too. I appreciate your concern, and I wouldn’t just leave. Trust me on that. I had an interview. That’s what I did this afternoon.” She couldn’t hold back her anticipation. “And you’re looking at the new editor for a publishing house based in San Antonio.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She batted her eyes lashes. Was he serious? “Shane, why didn’t I tell you about the interview? You were in such a hurry to get up in the air today th
at you left me no time to say anything.”

  He laid his palms on the counter. “I’m sorry. I admit it caught me off guard when you showed up at the hangar.”

  “Caught off guard as in surprised or disappointed?” she asked.

  “Not disappointed. By the way, congratulations. Tell me about your job.” His frown grew heavier.

  She placed fists on hips. “Maybe you should tell me what’s up.” When he shrugged, she leaned on the counter. “Did something happen?”

  “Bad day at work.”

  She moistened her lips, preparing herself for a much-needed speech. “You’ve been avoiding me like the flu bug. I am starting to feel like I’m not welcome here, then you turn around and say you’re afraid I’ll leave. The ups and downs are a bit crazy.”

  He rested his chin on his folded hands. His gaze burrowed into her. “I do want you here.”

  She shrugged and ran her finger around the metal top of the saltshaker. “Good. Will you go to a dinner party with me on Friday night? A shindig for the new job.”

  “Are you sure you’d want me to go?”

  “As sure as I am that I even want to go myself. My new boss is hosting a dinner thing for contributors and financers and thought I should go meet them. I couldn’t say no. After all, he did hire me.” The kettle burst into a whistle and she pushed away from the counter. “I know it’s probably not your thing. If you don’t want to go, I’ll understand.”

  “I’ll go.”

  “Yeah?” Excitement meandered up her spine and suddenly erupted into a smile. “Really?”

  “Really. But you’ll owe me.”

  “I can think of a few ways to pay you back.” She wriggled her brows suggestively. By his smile, he knew exactly what she referred to. When he remained silent, she sighed. “Never mind.” Her cheeks burned.

  He set his bottle down, reached for her hand and led her around the counter. “Don’t pull back.” He opened his legs and pulled her into the V of his thighs.

  Feeling the proof of his desire, she smiled proudly. Every cell came alive while in his arms. His large hands swept across her lower back. His warmth bled through the material of her shirt, into her skin, to her bones. She couldn’t deny him even if she must, to save herself.

  “When do you start work?” Nuzzling the skin exposed by the scoop neck top, he couldn’t have realized how hard he made it for her to think.

  “Tomorrow. I have a meeting first thing. I can work a lot from home. I needed the flexibility for when the baby is born.” She sucked in a breath when he darted his tongue out and licked her cleavage. Grabbing his head, she dug her fingernails into his scalp. Heaven, sweet heaven, enveloped her in its desirable arms.

  “We can’t keep you up too late then. We wouldn’t want you dragging your first day, would we?” He pulled her shirt down lower and then her bra, freeing one breast.

  “I…I think I can manage.” His mouth covered her nipple and suckled the sensitive tip until she moaned in pleasure. “You have a way with your tongue, Soldier.”

  “Tastes like an ice cream cone. Sweet, and melts in my mouth…” He breathed against her skin. Dropping his hand to the center of her thighs, he moaned from deep within his throat. “Yet your flesh is burning.”

  Arching her back, she focused on his touch. “I’m on fire. I’ve never known such an ache like this before.”

  With a flick of his wrists, he slid her pajama bottoms down her thighs. “Let me help you, sweetheart. Let me douse that flame.” He stood up and lifted her onto the counter top and practically tore her pants from her ankles. The cool laminate on her bare skin made her squirm, but the heat of their bodies made her forget. Dragging her panties off her hips, he lowered his head. She anticipated the feel of his mouth, but it didn’t touch where she’d expected. His lips moved first to the top of her foot, then slowly along the inside of her leg, and he nibbled the tender skin of her inner thigh, until she finally felt his breath against her moist center. “Shane…” His name fell from her trembling lips. She clutched at his shoulders as a silent demand for him to take her.

  “Oh, baby. You’re so fucking wet.”

  Jasmine whimpered as his fingers spread her and then entered her with his thumb. His tongue darted against her clit, flicking, licking, nipping gently. She bucked her hips wildly and he held her down with his free hand. One thought oozed through her mind: she needed release. Her life depended on honeyed relief.

  When he moved, she sighed in rejection. He grasped her shoulder with one hand while still clutching her hip with the other, and slid her off the counter top. Her body quivered and she felt like jelly as he placed her on her unsteady feet. Gently, he twisted her around until her back faced him. She realized what came next and braced her hands against the edge of the counter for support, while he used his knee to separate her thighs.

  His cock touched her opening and she cried out. He didn’t rush penetration as he allowed her muscles to adjust to his size. Once he glided fully inside, he began a rhythm of a sexual dance that had Jasmine floating on waves of ecstasy. Each thrust sent her closer and closer to heaven’s gates, until the blaze of satisfaction licked her nerve endings. He leaned over her. She could hear the heavy beat of his heart as his warmth shrouded her. His large hands rubbed her back and buttocks; his body grew taut. His muscles tightened, followed by a muted grunt as he buried his face into her shoulder. He’d found his own release.

  * * * *

  Jasmine awoke with the morning sun gleaming through the window. Running her hand down the side of Shane’s bed, she felt the empty cold sheet. He’d left sometime in the wee hours of the morning. She barely remembered him dressing and kissing her on the cheek.

  Bringing her fingers to the spot where his lips had touched, she smiled at the thought. Had he left a note? Glancing around, she didn’t find one.

  Disappointment edged through her, but didn’t last long. What woman could be negative after experiencing a night of fantastic, mind-boggling sex? Bringing her to orgasm more times than she could remember, he’d been sensual and caring. Their lovemaking had been everything she’d ever dreamed of.

  Rolling back onto the mattress, she revisited memories of making love. After their rendezvous in the kitchen, Shane had then carried her to his bedroom. She’d never been inside it before, but truth was, she peeked in a time or two. Snooping had crossed her mind, but she’d never followed through.

  How could she feel blame in wanting to know several of his darkest mysteries? No doubt he had a few. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she guessed he had a secret or two, just like everyone else.

  Sitting up, she glanced around. So, this was his bedroom. The masculine dark wood furniture, red curtains and king size bed matched him.

  The open closet door drew her attention. His clothes hung neatly in sections, uniforms and casual wear.

  The urge to look closer became too much to deny.

  Pushing back the covers, she got up and walked across the room. She breathed in deeply. Virility and leather lingered in the area. Lifting an arm of one of his shirts, she inhaled the sharp smell of–citrus? Odd, she thought. That wasn’t Shane’s cologne. Fingering through the garments, she didn’t think they were his style either. She’d never seen him wear bright blues, pinks and mauves. He’d always worn earth tones, like the section of shirts on the other side of the closet. Taking out a brown T-shirt, his signature cologne, mint and woodsy, met her senses. Now that was his scent. Placing the shirt back onto the rack, she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Seven o’clock. She didn’t want to be late her first day.

  With a long sigh, she closed the closet door and left his room for hers. She needed to look through her own clothes and find something suitable to wear. Her slacks were getting too tight at the waist. Soon she’d have to shop for maternity clothes. Excitement bubbled up inside of her. She still couldn’t imagine her stomach growing fuller, but she knew soon everyone would realize she was carrying a baby.

  Chapter 10

&
nbsp; Shawn glanced across the enormous dinner table at Jasmine. He wondered how he’d gotten seated at the opposite end of the table from her. She seemed enchanted in the conversation with her new boss, Jason McKeever. Shawn had to give the man credit. He was a nice looking guy, athletic body, and apparently charming considering the group of ladies sitting close to him. They’d been laughing at his jokes–including Jasmine. Shawn had listened himself until he grew tired of literature “shop talk.”

  Shawn clenched and unclenched his hands. He saw it again, the way McKeever dropped his gaze over Jasmine’s chest, lingering a little too long. Hell, who could blame her boss for staring? She looked stunning in a sequined red dress. The neckline dipped low enough to be called a teaser. The style didn’t reveal too much cleavage, yet it made a man wonder what it’d feel like to pull the top down to her waist.

  When McKeever touched Jasmine’s wrist, Shawn’s protective nature came to a head. Torment, he thought. Damn, he had to get his attention onto something else. He dragged his gaze away from Jasmine to the man sitting to his right. Shawn snickered. McKeever got Jasmine as a dinner companion and Shawn got a bald man with a hairy chest, revealed by a shirt unbuttoned past where he’d consider tasteful. The man, who introduced himself as Leonard, proudly anti-war, made clear by his snide remarks about the military. Shawn let the man’s attitude roll off his back. Everyone had a right to his opinion. Shawn listened to Leonard discuss tax reform with another guest. This was more Shawn’s kind of conversation, but he had a feeling Leonard couldn’t handle the truth of politics.

  Turning to his other side to the voluptuous woman, he was hesitant to show her any attention. Earlier she had talked his ear off about her five pet poodles and how difficult it was to breed them. He’d tuned her out once his head started pounding. Ignoring chattiness was easy, but a drunk was a different matter. On her fifth glass of Merlot, sixth if he included the one she’d spilled onto her lap, she couldn’t stop placing her diamond studded, false-fingernailed hand on his leg. With each end of her sentence, she’d squeeze his inner thigh as if to push her words home. He’d have bruises–and a scarred libido.