A Cat's Guide to Bonding with Dragons

by Chris Behrsin

  “You are so loud at night,” Salanraja said. “Why can’t you just stay asleep?”

  “I can’t help it, I’m nocturnal.”

  “Then learn not to be. It’s not as if there’s anything to hunt in Initiate Rine’s room.”

  I scented a cat outside the door, and I heard it stalk by. In a way, I wished I was out on duty hunting rats with it. Maybe I belonged out there. After all, that’s what the descendant of the great Asian leopard cat should be doing at night, hunting. But instead, I was here unable to do a thing – the cat that had contributed to the inevitable annihilation of the universe.

  “You’re so negative lately,” Salanraja said. “Can you not think about something a little more motivational?”

  “What? You can hear my thoughts?”

  “I can hear the ones that you shout loud enough. They’re full of all kinds of little secrets. Which is one of the reasons I’m so frustrated with you. Humans trust dragons to share their worries and help them through problems. But you seem to want to keep everything bottled inside.”

  “So, you know about the demon rats?” I asked.

  “I do… You should have told me. The more information I have, the more I can communicate to the Dragon Council about what to do next. But you kept that part about swallowing that crystal a little quiet inside your head. You didn’t even seem to want to think about it.”

  I curled up into a ball. “So, what am I going to do about it?” I asked. “Astravar can just take control at any time, can’t he? What if I lose control of myself completely? What if he turns me into a demon cat?”

  “Don’t be stupid, he can’t turn you into a demon. Demons were born in the Seventh Dimension and they must be summoned from there.” Salanraja sounded frustrated. “I don’t know what it means. You’re dangerous, yes, we know that. But you’re going to have to learn to deal with it by yourself. Now let me get some sleep.”

  I growled, and then I went back to whispering in my thoughts. That seemed to be the way to stop her prying, and also for me to let her get the sleep she ‘needed’.

  Really though, I didn’t want her to cotton on to what I was planning. Because I knew I couldn’t stay in Dragonsbond Academy any longer. I didn’t belong here. I belonged in the wild, like my great Asian leopard cat ancestors. Either I would learn to survive there or die.

  I walked over to the door and tried scratching at it. If Rine hadn’t locked it properly, maybe I could paw it open and sneak out. But I wasn’t so lucky. I had to revert to Plan B instead.

  Initiate Rine was now facing towards me on his bed. His mouth was wide open, and he was snoring from the bottom of his throat. I meowed so loudly you could probably call it a yowl. Then I jumped on to a spot on the mattress right by his stomach, and I crawled on top of Rine and put my mouth to his ear.

  “Initiate Rine,” I said and meowed a couple more times. “Wake up, it’s important.”

  He pushed me away. “More sleep,” he said. “No, not there, Ange… Please, Ange…”

  “Now Rine,” I said, and I walked back up to his ear and then licked it. When a cat wanted to wake you up, he meant it.

  Rine opened his eyes, and I dropped down in front of him and looked right into them. “What in the Seventh Dimension?” he asked.

  “I need to go to the toilet,” I replied.

  “Oh, just go under the table or something. The cleaner will clean it up in the morning.”

  “Please,” I said. “I can’t hold it in any longer.”

  Rine raised his voice. “I said just go underneath the table.”

  “But I can’t do it there. I must do it on something soft. This bed looks perfect…”

  “No!” Rine replied, and he slung his legs around and put his feet on the floor. “Oh, you are such a pain in the bum.”

  I jumped off the bed and stood by the door. “Oh, thank you, Rine,” I said. “But if you would hurry up, I’d be so eternally grateful. Really, I’m not sure how long I can hold on. It’s a matter of life and death.”

  “Give me a moment.” Rine rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and yawned. He put his slippers on and walked over to lift the key off a hook on the side of the wardrobe. He took hold of his staff at the same time.

  “Stay with me,” he said as he unlocked the door. “I wish I had a leash or something.”

  I followed him obediently into the light of the corridor, looking up at the cold blue crystal on his staff as we walked. I didn’t want to find out what he could do with that, and so I didn’t plan on trying to run away from him. Or at least not while he was looking.

  He led me out into the bailey, and then he stopped and leaned against the wall. The air had a breeze on it which was frigid enough to create frost. I looked up at Rine, and I licked my lips.

  “Come on,” Rine said, tapping the butt of his staff against the cobblestones. “Or are you telling me you don’t want to go after all?”

  I turned towards the thin crescent of the moon. The silhouette of a cat stalked in front of it over one of the walls. A rat scurried down the stone, but it wasn’t fast enough for the cat which caught it within its claws and then squealed in delight.

  “Ben,” Rine said. “You’re really making me want to cook you alive.”

  I turned back to him. “I can’t go while you watch. I need at least some privacy.”

  “What?” Rine said. “You’re a cat for demons’ sake.”

  “I’m not just a cat,” I replied, and I almost used the great Asian leopard cat line, but I realised just in the nick of time it probably wouldn’t work.

  “I’m a talking cat,” I continued. “Which means you should treat me with more respect than a normal cat. I mean it. Turn away. Otherwise, we’ll be here all night.”

  “Fine,” Rine replied, and he turned his eyes upwards and whistled.

  “No peeking, now,” I said.

  “I’m not looking.”

  “Not even from the corner of your eye?”

  “Not one bit,” Rine said.

  I didn’t believe him. But this was the best chance I was going to have. So, I crept slowly towards the wall, looking out for a shadow I could use to my advantage. But Rine had been smart and taken me to a place fully covered by the moonlight, and there wasn’t a cloud to be seen in the sky.

  I started scratching at the ground, behaving very catlike as if I was preparing the terrain to receive its offering. All the while, I kept one eye on Rine as I scanned the wall for a way up with the other. Clearly it wouldn’t be easy for a human to climb. But I wasn’t a human.

  “Rine, are you sure you’re not looking?”

  “I’m not,” he replied. He had his staff clutched in both hands now, and I could see his arm muscles were tense underneath the folds of his clothing. Whiskers, he was expecting me to try something. Fortunately, I remembered a little something he said in his sleep.

  “I thought I said I didn’t want anyone looking,” I said.

  “I’m not…”

  “Not you. Ange.”

  “What, where?” Rine sharply turned his head away from me.

  “Over there by the fountain,” I replied. “Fooled you!”

  I scarpered up onto the wall and caught the stone rim at the top, which I grappled with all the strength I had in my paws.

  29

  To Swim or Not to Swim?

  The wall wasn’t as easy to climb as I thought it would be. I must have lost a lot of my strength, because I’d had plenty of practice climbing up the loose stones of the castle on the hill back in South Wales. Us cats used to gather there and have all kinds of competitions. I won most of them until the Savannah cats arrived in the neighbourhood.

  The moonlight and the long shadows had made the stones on this wall in Dragonsbond Academy seem to stick out much further than they actually did. So, when I got to the top, my shoulder muscles were screaming out at me in pain. But I made it and pulled myself over.

  But by the time I did, Rine had worked out that I’d created a
decoy and there was no Ange waiting nearby ready to steal his affection.

  “Hey!” he yelled, and he raised his staff. Something cold and blue shot out from his crystal. I ducked behind a parapet so it didn’t hit me, and shards of ice erupted from the stone.

  I continued to run along the wall, hoping that I could just jump down the other side. But the moat was down there, and I really didn’t want to have to leap into water, particularly given how cold it was. From this height, I wouldn’t have a chance of catching myself on the steep bank, even with the balance of a cat.

  So, I darted my way along the parapets. A guard blocked my path. He wore shiny armour and a cone shaped helmet with a ridiculous looking nose-guard protruding from it. Really, those helmets made the guards look like elephants with half their trunk missing. But I didn’t have time to stop and mock. I weaved my way between the guard’s feet and carried out along the chemin de ronde. It wouldn’t be long until he realised the commotion that Rine was causing below the wall was about me.

  I found a staircase at the end of the chemin de ronde and I sprinted down it. I reached the bottom. The door was open in the guardhouse, but I wasn’t interested in that. Instead, I sprinted towards the portcullis, hoping to squeeze underneath it.

  But when I narrowed my shoulders and pushed as hard as I could, I couldn’t make it past my belly. Whiskers, I had far too much mutton and turkey inside me. It was as if Salanraja and Rine had planned this to trap me in here. If they fattened me up, I’d have no chance of escape.

  I growled, and I groaned and pushed even harder. But my efforts achieved nothing.

  “Stop right there, Ben,” Initiate Rine said from behind me. “Take one step further and I’ll freeze your bum.”

  I froze stock still, and I listened to the clanking metal boots and armour coming from the guardhouse. “Captain Onus here,” a man with a gruff voice said. “Am I to understand, young Initiate, that you’ve woken up the entire guard because of a cat.”

  “That isn’t any old cat,” Rine replied. “He’s a descendant of the great Asian leopard cat.”

  “What?” Onus said.

  “He’s special. And the Council of Three have ordered that he must not leave this castle. This is a matter of great importance, Captain.” The whole swallowed a warlock’s crystal thing must have been top-secret, as he didn’t mention it. This was probably for the best, really.

  “It’s a cat,” another guard said, this time female.

  “Just seize him,” Rine said. “I know I’m a kid, but these aren’t my orders.”

  “Fine,” Onus said. “I’ll do it myself. I’m good with cats.”

  Rough hands grasped me from behind, and they tugged me out of the portcullis, with such force I thought he would rip my shoulders off. One thing was clear, this man wasn’t as good with cats as he claimed.

  His hands moved up to my waist, and he lifted me up to examine me from below. The guard captain had a pockmarked face, with lips far too big for it and a nose that looked like someone had twisted it at a right angle and then put it back again. I kept my cool and didn’t wriggle and scratch, despite how much his tight grip was hurting me. I needed time to work out what to do next.

  “I’d be careful,” Rine said with an undertone of cheekiness. “I only brought him out here because he needed to go, and he hasn’t done so yet.”

  The captain pursed his massive lips at me. “Here, kitty, kitty. I guess the moat makes a good toilet, does it?”

  Rine sighed from behind me. “I doubt it. Tell him, Ben. In fact, tell us all why exactly you wanted to escape?”

  But I kept quiet. I wanted to save the element of surprise for the most apt moment. The guard captain moved me to the side a little so he could look at Rine. “Initiate, did the chef give you the wrong kind of mushrooms today?”

  “This cat talks,” Rine replied. “That’s one reason he’s so important to us. Ben, say something.”

  “There have been rumours of talking cats in this castle,” the female guard pointed out.

  “And I’ve already told you that this rumour is nonsense,” Onus replied. “Besides, how could something so cute cause so much trouble?”

  The captain moved me a little closer and tickled me under my chin. Unfortunately, even with my special language abilities, I didn’t seem able to fake a purr. But it seemed Captain Onus didn’t need one to assume that I liked him. “He might be crazy, but you don’t seem crazy, do you?”

  “Okay, that’s enough,” Initiate Rine said, and I turned to see him extend his arms. “Here, hand him over. Ben, I won’t let you out of my sight again.”

  “What do you think, little kitty? Do you think this man is safe?”

  But I could see that Rine had the authority here. So, I didn’t have much time.

  I hissed at the guard. “I think both your name and your face are only one vowel away from looking like a bottom,” I said, and I swiped at him hard with my claw. I hit him on the cheek before he shouted out in shock and dropped me on the cold stone ground. Of course, I landed on my feet.

  “You buffoon,” Initiate Rine said. “Stop him!”

  But the guards weren’t fast enough to react as I darted between their legs and scrambled back up the staircase to the chemin de ronde. I passed the first corner tower, and then I took a sharp right and balanced myself on the crenel. Heavy footsteps resounded from behind me, clanging urgently against stone.

  I looked down at the water, and I shivered as I imagined the cold of it. But I really didn’t have much choice. Something icy and sharp whizzed by me, just as I leapt off the wall. I didn’t land in the water. I landed on the steep bank, hurting my knee as I rolled down.

  The water was freezing and shocking, and it tasted like mud. But still I swam towards the opposite bank, rage and adrenaline pushing me forwards. I didn’t look back as I scrambled up the side and then I ran into the darkness, the moon now hidden behind a cloud.

  Some arrows followed in my wake alongside some sharp looking icicles. But through speed, and darkness, and the fact I wasn’t exactly the largest of targets, I escaped out into the wild world.

  30

  Roaming the Wilds

  I don’t know for how long I continued to run. It must have been for hours. As I did, the clouds continued to build in the sky, and I could feel the humidity on my whiskers threatening rain.

  I had a stitch in my side because of all the food I’d eaten lately. But I needed to get far away from Dragonsbond Academy. For all I knew, there could have been dragons up there, hunting me from the sky. I had no doubt that with their massive eyes, they could see well in the dark. But I couldn’t see anything hovering above.

  Ages later, I found a forest. I couldn’t see the trees, but I could sense them. The way the wind rolled through forests felt different against my whiskers than it did over the plains. I continued onwards until I knew I was underneath the tree cover. It was warmer in the forest, though I listened out for wolves or anything that might want to take advantage of a smaller cat. Here, I felt naked and vulnerable. There was bound to be something bigger than me here, ready to tear me apart.

  Salanraja had mentioned all kinds of dangerous beasts – chimeras, Sabre-Tooth tigers. All the while she would be back at Dragonsbond Academy, dreaming away, not realising what danger I might be in. Whiskers, knowing my luck, I might come face to face with a hippopotamus. It would tear me apart with its razor-sharp buck teeth before I even saw it.

  I decided it better to put all my worries behind me, because I was tired, and I really needed rest. I searched around for soft underbrush, which I then patted down with my paws. Once I lay down, I fell asleep almost instantaneously.

  Astravar watched me in my dreams.

  In them, I was once again running through the darkness. I couldn’t quite see it, but I could sense it in the sky, a massive grey eye blinking the rain and the wind away. It rolled around and watched me wherever I stepped. No matter where I went – behind trees, into caves, through swamps, it was al
ways there. I couldn’t escape him.

  There was no sunrise to wake me, only a sombre wall of grey cloud and a chilling drizzle in the air. It seemed to seep into my bones, and so it was hard to lift myself onto all fours and get moving again. But after all the exercise, I was also famished.

  I started by eating woodlice. It was absolutely disgusting, and I knew I wouldn’t go far on such tiny bugs. But they were easy to find under logs and stones, and they gave me enough energy to continue onwards.

  Soon, I was ready to stalk the land for larger prey. But no rabbits or birds or even mice wanted to come out and play in this disgusting weather. I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t hear anything. Whiskers, I couldn’t even smell anything. So, I continued to walk through long, cold, and wet grass, looking out for even the slightest movement.

  “It doesn’t matter where you go, Dragoncat,” his voice said in my head. “You will always need help. You will never learn how to survive alone.”

  I tried to ignore the voice, but it droned on and on through my head, telling me how useless and pathetic I was. It was as if, through some kind of magic, the warlock was causing every single living creature to hide away. Maybe he was even causing this terrible weather. But was he that powerful?

  After I’d hunted for what must have been a couple of hours, without success, all I wanted to do was collapse. I lay down in the grass, meowing to no one in particular. I was just about ready to curl up and die.

  That was when Astravar decided to throw me a bone. “What would you like to eat little one,” he asked. “Perhaps some rabbit?”

  My eyes were so bleary that I wasn’t sure if I saw it for real or imagined it. But, all of a sudden, a purple tiny creature that looked something like a sparrow except with butterfly wings and a human-looking face appeared on my nose. She laughed so loudly that her voice seemed to ring in my ears, and she fluttered away, a trail of purple glowing dust streaking behind her.