Very Important Corpses

by Simon R. Green

  December was shocked all over again. ‘I am severely disappointed in you, Major Domo! We placed our trust in you, to preserve the security and integrity of our meetings while under your roof. You have let us down. You can be sure we will be making a formal complaint to your employers.’

  ‘Complain and be damned!’ said the Major Domo. ‘I won’t need employers once Coronach House is mine again.’

  ‘And you, August,’ said December, ignoring the Major Domo to turn his full scorn on his fellow principal. ‘You should have known better. It’s bad enough you’ve compromised this whole meeting’s decisions for your own temporary advantage … But to lower yourself by entering into a relationship with a servant!’

  ‘Oh shut up, December!’ said August, only the slightest tinge of emotion entering his voice. ‘January’s right. You are old, and old-fashioned. You have no idea of what’s really going on with the Group any more.’

  ‘Well, really!’ said December, and then seemed genuinely lost for anything more to say.

  ‘Have you heard enough now, you grubby little man?’ said January, scowling viciously at me. ‘You’ve dug up all our sordid little secrets, and what good has it done you?’

  ‘Right,’ said March. ‘Just a waste of everyone’s time. And I’ve got a headache. I’m going back to my room.’

  ‘None of you are going anywhere,’ I said. ‘This isn’t about you, or the Group; it’s about murder. First Jennifer Rifkin, and then October. January and March, you both have a motive for wanting the other principals dead … because if word of your agreement got out, your place in the Baphomet Group would be compromised. No one would trust you any longer, and you’d probably be dismissed from the Group. Right, December?’

  ‘Of course,’ said December, nodding firmly. ‘They would be thrown out, and their positions taken over by the next most senior members of their families. They would both be financially and socially ruined.’

  ‘Try it,’ said January. ‘See how far you get.’

  ‘Oh, I will,’ said December. And suddenly he was smiling like a shark.

  ‘Of course, you have a motive too, December,’ I said. ‘You disapproved of the way the new generations were doing things. If you’d found out what January and March and August were up to, you might have thought making a hard example of a few bad apples would help discourage others.’

  December snorted loudly. He seemed honestly amused. ‘Then why would I start by killing October, who as far as I know was utterly blameless? And can you really see a man of my advanced years doing that kind of damage to October, or his room? Do I look like a killer?’

  ‘Unfortunately, few killers do,’ I said. ‘And while you might not have been able to do the deed yourself, you could always have paid someone else to do it.’

  ‘And then there’s you, August,’ said Penny. ‘Why did you feel the need for a secret advantage at these meetings?’

  ‘Because I’m not a real businessman, like the others,’ said August. He sounded suddenly tired, and the Major Domo patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. He reached up to put his hand on hers, and then looked defiantly at me. ‘I never wanted to be part of the Baphomet Group; never wanted to be head of my family’s business interests. I just inherited the whole mess. But I couldn’t give it up without sacrificing most of my wealth, and endangering my family’s security. I never wanted to be here, never wanted to play the game … But if I had to, I didn’t want to disgrace myself or my family. So I turned to … Helen.’

  He smiled at her, and she smiled at him.

  ‘She has been my rock and my comfort,’ said August. He turned his attention back to me, his expression cold and unmoved. ‘I’m probably the only person in Coronach House who doesn’t have a motive for murder, because I never wanted to come here in the first place.’

  ‘But that is your motive, August,’ I said patiently. ‘If enough of the Baphomet Group were killed, the Group would collapse and then you’d be free of them forever.’

  ‘I can alibi August,’ the Major Domo said immediately. ‘We were together when Miss Rifkin was killed, and again when October died. There’s no way he could have done it. Or me, for that matter. We can vouch for each other.’

  ‘That just makes you sound like an accomplice,’ said Penny.

  The Major Domo looked at her sharply, and then looked away. Some of the confidence seemed to go out of her. Clearly, that thought hadn’t occurred to her.

  The door burst open, as several security men rushed in. They all started to speak at once, shouting to be heard over each other; until I stood up and glared them into silence. I pointed to one guard.

  ‘You. What’s your name?’

  ‘Irwin, sir.’

  ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘They’re all dead!’ said Irwin. He had to force the words out, his voice thick with hysteria. ‘All the other principals have been murdered!’

  Everyone at the table was suddenly on their feet. Nothing we’d been saying seemed to matter any more. The four surviving principals moved to stand together, like frightened children. Penny shook her head slowly, as though she didn’t want to believe it. I kept my composure, and nodded brusquely to the security man before me.

  ‘How?’ I said.

  ‘Just like October,’ Irwin said sickly. ‘They’ve all been torn to pieces and thrown around the room. It was horrible. Horrible …’

  He broke off, looking tired and confused. The other guards milled around, not knowing what to do or say. And I had to wonder just how bad the murder scenes must have been to reduce experienced security men to such a state. I questioned them, and they hurried to add their confirmation, stumbling over each other to make clear what had happened. They seemed almost pathetically eager to talk; and desperate to make me understand they had no idea how it could have been done, because none of them had left their positions even for a moment. There was no way the murderer could have got past them, no way at all … I had to raise my voice again to get them to quiet down. They dropped into mumbles and frightened glances, huddling together like sheep in a storm.

  I gave the matter some thought, while everyone looked expectantly at me.

  ‘Did anyone leave the principals’ rooms after the gunfight ended?’ I said.

  The security men looked at each other, consulted quietly for a while, and finally agreed that the only people to leave had been some of the escorts the principals summoned to serve them.

  ‘How many escorts?’ I said.

  More consultation, and some arguing, before they finally agreed on a figure. Five escorts; four men and one woman. I pointed at two of the guards.

  ‘Find them,’ I said. ‘Now.’

  They left, in a hurry. I questioned the remaining guards carefully, working my way through the sequence of events until I had a fair outline of what had happened. They all insisted they hadn’t seen or heard anything out of the ordinary after I’d brought the gunfight to an end. Everything had been perfectly calm and quiet until word came from the Major Domo that I wanted all the principals to come down for questioning. The guards had knocked on their principals’ doors and politely explained the situation; and when they didn’t get any answers, they assumed their principals didn’t want to be bothered. Which was understandable, given that they had escorts with them. When the guards were obliged to knock a second time, to make their case more firmly, and still couldn’t get an answer, they braced themselves and unlocked the doors. They looked inside, ready to back straight out if they encountered anything embarrassing. And then …

  ‘Hold it!’ I said. ‘You had keys?’

  ‘We all do,’ said Irwin. ‘The principals trust us. Trusted us …’

  ‘Not more locked room murder mysteries,’ Penny murmured disgustedly. ‘I hate those.’

  ‘If only five of the escorts left,’ I said to Irwin, ‘what happened to the others?’

  ‘We think they were murdered along with their principals,’ he said quietly. ‘It’s hard to be sure, because the pieces
were all over the place … And the heads were missing.’

  ‘All of them?’ I said.

  The security guards nodded quickly. The consensus was that the killer must have taken them with him.

  I thought about that. Practical considerations aside (like how anyone could carry off so many heads at once without being noticed), why take them at all? To disguise a growing appetite for human brains? Or to make identification of the victims that much harder, to slow down the investigation? Without the heads, how could I be sure all the principals and the unnamed escorts were dead? I realized everyone was waiting for me to say something, including Penny, so I did my best to look like I knew what I was doing. Details could wait. A massacre had taken place on my watch.

  ‘I need to see this for myself,’ I said.

  ‘You’ll have to do it on your own,’ Irwin said immediately. ‘None of us are going back to those rooms. Whatever happened up there … wasn’t natural.’

  ‘Wait a minute,’ said the Major Domo. She seemed somehow smaller, her voice lacking its usual confidence. ‘Where’s Baron? Where’s my Head of Security? Why isn’t he here?’

  ‘I saw Baron go into February’s room, not long ago,’ said August. ‘I don’t know what business Baron had with him.’

  February’s security guard reluctantly came forward, and the others stepped back to let him pass. He was carrying a bundle; something wrapped in a blanket. He unwrapped it to reveal a distinctive red-leather jacket, torn to ribbons and soaked in blood.

  ‘I found this in February’s room,’ he said. ‘Among the … pieces. This is Mister Baron’s jacket, isn’t it?’

  I took the tattered thing from him. Beneath the stench of fresh blood, I could just make out Baron’s familiar scent.

  ‘Perhaps he had reason to believe February was a target,’ Penny said quietly. ‘Or maybe he had his own personal arrangement going … Either way, he must have been in the room when the killer came in. And was killed, trying to stop him. I’m sorry, Ishmael.’

  ‘Did you find anything to confirm Baron was actually in the room?’ I asked the security man.

  ‘It was all just bits and pieces,’ said the guard. ‘And without the heads …’

  ‘Of course,’ I said. ‘I understand.’

  Penny moved in close beside me, trying to comfort me with her presence. ‘Was Baron a friend of yours, Ishmael? I was never sure.’

  ‘Neither was I,’ I said. I dropped the blood-soaked jacket on to the table, and then took out a handkerchief to clean blood from my hands. It took a while. No one said anything. The four surviving principals stepped back from the table, but couldn’t seem to take their eyes off the jacket.

  ‘Baron was my colleague,’ I said finally. ‘And the last time we spoke, we parted on bad terms. He wanted to get the hell out of here, and he wanted me to go with him. If I’d agreed, he might still be alive. But I couldn’t just go and leave the job unfinished.’

  ‘Of course you couldn’t,’ said Penny. ‘He should have known that.’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘He should.’

  ‘If Baron had done his job, the principals might still be alive!’ the Major Domo said loudly.

  I looked at her, and she stopped talking. I turned back to February’s security guard.

  ‘Did Baron say what he was doing, visiting your principal? Had February sent for him?’

  ‘February didn’t explain his business to me,’ said the guard. ‘But then I wouldn’t expect him to. I can say that Baron had never visited February’s room before, and the principal let him in immediately.’

  I turned my back on all of them, and moved off a way. Penny came after me.

  ‘What is it, Ishmael?’ she said quietly.

  ‘One of the first rules in this line of work,’ I said, just as quietly, ‘is that if you don’t have a body you can’t be sure someone is really dead. It’s always possible Baron took advantage of the situation to fake his own death; so he could leave the House and avoid taking the blame for what’s happened. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done that and then reappeared sometime later with a new identity.’

  ‘Do we have to decide that now?’ said Penny.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘For the moment, we assume he’s dead. We have more important things to worry about.’

  I turned back to the principals. ‘It seems clear the other principals were killed because they had escorts with them. January and March were busy with each other, August had the Major Domo, and December … wasn’t interested. That’s what kept the four of you alive. I think the killer was one of the escorts. Or someone pretending to be an escort; like the maid Emily, who turned out to be an undercover reporter. The principal invited the escort in, and the escort killed him. Or if a creature was involved, the escort let it in.’

  ‘How could a creature have been involved without any of the guards noticing?’ said December.

  ‘How does this creature do anything?’ I said.

  ‘Maybe it’s invisible,’ said Penny.

  ‘Don’t even go there!’ I said. ‘More likely, there are hidden doors and passages in the rooms, connected to the cellar under the House.’

  ‘That’s not possible,’ the Major Domo said immediately. ‘They were all sealed off long ago.’

  ‘Yes, well,’ said Penny, ‘you would say that, wouldn’t you?’

  ‘The door to the cellar was unsealed,’ I said. ‘Who knows what else might have been done without your knowledge?’

  ‘We’re only alive because we had no interest in escorts?’ said December.

  ‘You had no reason to allow anyone into your rooms,’ I said.

  ‘Dear God!’ said December.

  The four surviving members of the Baphomet Group stood close together, trying to draw strength from each other. I expected them to announce they were leaving, immediately; but instead they all faced me with the same surprisingly stern resolve.

  ‘None of us will leave Coronach House until you come up with some answers, Mister Jones,’ said December. ‘That is what you’re here for.’

  ‘Exactly!’ said January.

  ‘You must find the killer,’ said March.

  ‘Before he kills again,’ said August.

  Now they were back giving orders they all seemed on more comfortable ground.

  ‘We need to know who wants us dead and why,’ said December. ‘Or we’ll never feel safe again wherever we are.’

  ‘We can’t call in any of the usual authorities,’ said August. ‘The media would be all over a story like this. We’d never hear the end of it.’

  ‘You are in charge here, Mister Jones, for the next twelve hours,’ December said flatly. ‘Because we know you, and you seem to know what you’re doing. And you have the Organization’s authority to help you find answers.’

  ‘But once your time is up, we will have no choice but to demand the Organization remove you in favour of a full investigatory team,’ said August. ‘And risk the resultant publicity.’

  ‘If we’re forced to do that,’ said January, ‘We’ll ruin you, for failing us.’

  ‘Depend on it,’ said March, smiling. ‘We’ll destroy you.’

  ‘I don’t respond well to threats,’ I said.

  ‘Then don’t fail us,’ said December.

  Satisfied that they’d put me in my place, the principals came out from behind the long table and busied themselves giving orders to the security men. To guard them first and the House second, and shoot anyone who tried to leave before the killer was caught. The guards looked pleased to have someone taking charge, and to have useful work to do. The Major Domo quickly detailed people to cover all the exits and windows on the ground floor, and the guards left in a hurry. Grateful for a chance to show they were still worth something, after allowing their principals to be killed.

  With the guards gone, the room seemed very quiet. The four principals looked steadily at me, but had nothing more to say. They seemed more astonished than horrified at what had happened. As if they cou
ldn’t believe people from their cosseted and heavily protected world could be murdered so suddenly and so easily.

  ‘Has anything like this ever happened before?’ I said.

  ‘No,’ said December. ‘Not in our entire history. Personal security is one of the reasons we go to such lengths to preserve our anonymity.’

  ‘Hold everything! Go previous!’ said Penny. ‘Your entire history? You mean all the way back to the Knights Templar?’

  The principals shared a patronizing smile.

  ‘That is just a story, my dear,’ said December. ‘The Group adopted the Baphomet name when it was first formed, some two hundred years ago. So people would go chasing after the myth, rather than try to uncover our true names and history.’

  ‘We’re just businessmen,’ said March, smirking.

  ‘So there never was a Baphomet?’ said Penny.

  ‘Originally?’ said December. ‘Who knows? But if there ever was such a thing, I can assure you it has nothing to do with us.’

  Penny looked at me. We were both thinking the same thing. Then what came after us, in the cellar?

  ‘Outside the Group, did any of you know the other principals?’ I said. ‘As friends or colleagues, business partners or rivals?’

  ‘No,’ said December. ‘Contact between members of the Group outside annual meetings is strictly forbidden.’ And then he glowered at January and March, who glared right back at him. December sighed heavily. ‘But of course, I can’t be sure of that any more.’

  ‘Don’t expect us to mourn the dead,’ said August. ‘We don’t care, apart from how it might affect us financially. We don’t care about anything unless it hits us in the pocket. That’s how it is in the Baphomet Group.’ He smiled, very briefly. ‘And you wonder why I never wanted to be part of it?’

  ‘What about the escorts who died along with the principals, just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time?’ said Penny. ‘Do you care about them?’

  ‘Of course not,’ said January. ‘What an odd question!’

  ‘They were just people we hired,’ said March. ‘We can always hire more.’