Seeking Redemption

by Kylie Hillman

  “Just cut to the chase, Maddi. For fuck sake. I beg you.”

  “Well, since you asked so nicely. I’ll tell you.” Folding her legs underneath herself on the couch, the smartass expression she’s had since she started messing with me disappears. Serious Maddi comes out to play, making my stomach sink, as I realize that I’m not about to like what’s coming.

  “Lacey was dealing drugs at her university for the Mavericks. She was cutting the product and skimming money off the top to pay the bills Connor left her with. Cam worked it out and wanted his money back with interest.”

  “Bullshit,” I slam my empty coffee cup down on the coffee table and move to stand.

  “Just hear me out before you flip.” Maddi raises her eyebrows at me, waiting for me to calm. When I sit back in my chair, she speaks again. “He knew she didn’t have the money so he said she could work off the debt in one of their whorehouses.”

  She holds up a finger to silence me when I open my mouth and JJ giggles when I close it promptly. I’m pissed as all hell at what I’m hearing but I’m also happy. The conversation I heard today makes sense now. Lacey was settling her debt, not buying drugs or cheating. I feel like an ass for doubting her, but that’s par for the course with me, at this stage.

  “She didn’t have the money so she came to me. Fourteen thousand isn’t going to hurt me so I gave it to her with the stipulation that she passed on a message when she paid him off.”

  I hold my breath as I wait for Maddi’s bombshell. It’s going to be good—the smug, self-satisfied smile she’s sending my way is a dead giveaway.

  “I told her to tell Cam that I’d taken out a hit on him.”

  “For crying out fucking loud, why’d you do that?”

  “He organized to have my man stabbed. Did you think I was going to let that go? I should’ve taken one out on you and Timber for going along with Mik’s lies. Two weeks suspended visitation for fighting? You guys are a bunch of idiots if you thought you were getting away with that one.”

  JJ holds her hand up for a high five and Maddi gives her one. Yep, I’m definitely banning Lacey from hanging out with them too much.

  “So what did he say when she told him?” I have to know if this went the way she planned.

  “He said bring it on,” she laughs. “Although, Lacey said he stuttered when he said it.”

  “You didn’t really take out a hit, did you?”

  “That’s for me to know, and y’all to find out.”

  I’d put money on my crazy twin doing just what she says she has. Since, Mad Dog’s been locked up, she’s changed. Hardened. They’ve been through a lot of shit together, and although they’ve broken up before, this time they’ve been separated against their wishes. She’s not going to get over that quickly.

  “Now that that’s out of the way,” JJ speaks up. “I need to get to the hospital. My contractions started on the way over here. Can you call Lucas and have him meet me at the hospital?”

  “Shit.” I jump to my feet, searching for my mobile phone to do what I’m told while Maddi stands and helps JJ to her feet. She grabs her handbag, and pulls her phone out of it.

  “Kyle,” she says when he answers. “It’s all sorted here. He knows everything. Benji’s okay, but he’s not straight enough to drive yet. JJ’s gone into labor so I need to leave him. Bring Lacey here and then get your ass to my house and bring Matty and Lachie to the hospital. I can’t leave them alone for too much longer.”

  When Timber doesn’t answer my call, I send him a text. Grabbing JJ’s arm, I help her from the house while Maddi wraps up her call. Settling JJ into the front seat of Maddi’s car, I smooth her hair back off her forehead as she pants her way through a contraction.

  “Are you gonna be okay?” I ask. She looks in too much pain to bear already.

  “I’ll be...fine,” she pauses, and does some weird breathing thing. When she’s breathing properly again, she grabs my hand and squeezes it in a death grip. “The trial’s tomorrow. I need you to promise that you’ll stay straight so you can look after Maddi. I’m not going to make it, and she needs more than Lucas. You’re her other half. Literally.”

  “I’m going to rehab. That’s why I wanted her here tonight. I was going to tell her.” JJ opens her mouth, but I cut her off. “I’m not going until I know what’s happening with Mad Dog. I have something up my sleeve for tomorrow. You go have this baby and stop worrying. I’ve got it all under control for once.”

  Even though she smiles at my words, I can tell she has doubts that I’m sincere...or actually capable of following through with my promise. After the last few years, I wouldn’t trust me either. I’ll just have to show them that I’m serious this time.

  “All right,” Maddi runs out to the car. “Timber’s on his way. Let’s get this show on the road.”

  When she reaches me, she stops and rises to her tiptoes. Planting a kiss on my cheek, her blue eyes bore into my matching pair. “I’ll see you tomorrow? Yeah?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Love you, Benj”

  Shuffling my feet, I drop her gaze and look at the ground. It’s been a long time since she’s said that to me, and I’ve felt worthy enough to believe it.

  “Love you too, lil sis.”

  She smacks me in the gut for calling her that, her broadening grin belying her response.

  “Get going before she has the kid in your car.” I urge her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  LACEY

  Present Day

  “Hey,” I whisper when he opens the front door to his house.

  Turning to wave at Kid as he drives off to continue the tasks he’s been given, I wait until he’s out of sight before I turn back to Benji.

  “You coming in?” he asks.

  I run my eyes over his handsome face, looking for signs that he’s still high. I can’t find any, so I nod. Stepping over the threshold, and into the house I fled from two weeks ago, I wait for the feelings that drove me away then to come back.

  They don’t.

  I hope I’ve grown stronger in my absence and that they never return.

  “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. Please don’t hate me,” I ask. I want to explain myself better, but I lack the energy. Paying off Cam and delivering Maddi’s message drained the last of my fortitude. I want to curl up in Benji’s arms and sleep for a week.

  “I don’t hate you. I fucking love you,” Benji replies, sounding earnest.

  He pushes me against the door he’s just closed, lifting me so my mouth meets his and kisses the living daylights out of me. With my arms around his neck, my hands buried in the hair at his nape, I kiss him back with equal passion. Our tongues duel at first before settling into a sensuous dance that leaves us both breathless.

  When we pull apart, I stare into his hope-filled eyes and reiterate with my expression the words that come out of my mouth.

  “I love you too.”

  The corner of his mouth lifts. “I know you do. You’d be a shitty poker player. I’ve known for ages.”

  Swatting at him, I laugh at his cheekiness.

  “You’re not angry?”

  “How can I be? You’ve done nothing I haven’t done a million times before.”

  The final residue of the stress I’ve been living with since Connor left—before if I’m honest with myself—takes flight, leaving me feeling lighter than I have in a long time. The emotional exhaustion I’ve been avoiding for the same amount of time becomes unbearable and my eyelids droop.

  “Benji, I’m so tired of running from everything. I just want to be happy.”

  “Me too.” He agrees without hesitation. “And we can be from now on if we stick together. We both need rehab, so that’s where we’re going to go.”

  Scooping me into his arms when I nod my agreement, he carries me toward his bedroom. Happiness spreads warmth through my tired body, leaving serenity in its wake.

  He’s right. We can do this if we stick together.

&
nbsp; “When are we going?” I ask.

  “As soon as fucking possible, babe. I have one last thing to fix before we’re on the homeward stretch.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  BENJI

  Present Day

  “Thomas,” I incline my head in mock-respect. “Long time; no see.”

  After spending the night with Lacey in my arms, I’m refreshed and ready to battle this cockhead head on. He might think he’s going to win, but he’s not. His smoking gun has nothing on mine.

  Which he’s about to learn. The hard way.

  “Mr. O’Brien.”

  Rolling my eyes at his formal greeting, I sling an arm over his shoulder and lead him back into his office and away from the people milling around in the hallways. I close the door. He shakes my arm off angrily and spins to face me before I’ve turned the lock.

  “What’s the meaning of this?” he spits his question, his face red and his eyes glittering with malice.

  “I was wondering if you had that T-shirt still?”

  “Of course, I do.”

  “Good.” I pull my phone from my pocket and press play.

  Thomas’s voice echoes around his office. We listen in mutual silence, although mine is much more satisfied than his. He becomes increasingly angry the longer he listens. When the recording stops, I hold out my hand.

  “I’ll take that T-shirt off your hands. You won’t be needing it once you’ve drop the charges.”

  “I don’t know what game you think you’re playing, but you won’t get away with this.”

  “The current President of the Black Shamrocks MC has a copy of your confession, as does the Club’s lawyers as well as my own. If anything happens to Mad Dog, my sister, or myself, it’ll be released to the media within the hour. Hell, just for shits and giggles, it’ll be released if anything even the slightest bit suspicious happens to any of the Shamrocks or their loved ones. You’d wanna spend the rest of your days praying that we all live long and healthy lives, Mr. Taylor.”

  I hold out my hand again.

  “Now give me the T-shirt.”

  He walks, still huffing and puffing like he has a choice, to his safe. Spinning the dial with a practiced hand, he opens the door and pulls out a brown paper bag. He passes it to me, and I take a quick glance inside.

  “Now, that wasn’t so hard was it,” I taunt.

  “I’m going to come after you. This isn’t the end.”

  “You’re overestimating yourself.” I look him straight in the eye. “There’s two more copies of that confession stored for safekeeping. Both of which will keep you from coming after me should you decide that killing me is worth more to you than your career.”

  Thomas perks on the edge of his desk, and tries his hardest to pretend he’s not interested in what I have to say.

  “One copy is in the hands of your father-in-law,” I laugh at the look of horror that lights up his eyes. One thing I’ve learned in my life—it doesn’t matter how big and bad you think you are, there’s always someone bigger and badder than you that you need to look out for. In Thomas’s case, it’s his wife’s family.

  I watch him grab the glass of water off his desk and gulp it down. Knowing that the man who owns your career, every dollar you have in the bank, and basically your life has enough collateral over you to yank your chain for the rest of your days is enough to run anyone’s mouth dry, I would imagine.

  “And the second?”

  “It’s with Wendy. Stored safely with the medical records that prove she gave birth to a live baby, despite what you had the birth certificate changed to say.”

  He jumps to his feet and advances on me. I hold my ground, the desire for murder that I can see written all over his face not enough to deter me from letting him know that I know his darkest secret.

  “Now, I’m no lawyer, that’s more Maddi’s department, but I’m pretty sure there isn’t a statute of limitations for charges of child trafficking in Australia. Especially when you stole the baby from its mother and told her it was stillborn.”

  Thomas reels away from me, walking as if the ground’s moving beneath his feet. Seizing hold of the side of his desk, he makes his way around it before collapsing into his winged-back chair. Clutching his chest, he wheezes at me.

  “Get out.”

  I mock-salute him and walk toward his locked door.

  “Once you’ve finished your panic attack, I’d make it a priority to have the charges dropped if I was you.”

  Slamming the door behind me, I hold the bag to my chest and make my way as quickly as I can from the building.

  I have news to spread.

  After the birth of Timber and JJ’s son last night, this information’s going to be the icing on the cake.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  BENJI

  Present Day

  “Mads,” I call out as I make my way into her house.

  I haven’t been here often. This house is new; one that she rented after Mad Dog was arrested and our father dropped off the face of the planet, leaving her with our two youngest brothers to look after. When Wendy left him, it wasn’t fair to ask her to have Matty and Lachie so they moved in with Maddi. Although, I’ve been told that Wendy’s here so much, that Maddi has a spare room made up just for her.

  There’s less than an hour until the trial begins, and while I’m certain we’re going to get a call saying the charges have been dropped at any minute, I still need to keep up appearances until that happens. I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, just in case Thomas Taylor is stupid enough to call my bluff.

  Maddi should be dressed and ready to go. When she doesn’t answer me, worry clouds my mind that she’s hurt, or worse, something’s happened to her. Could Thomas have sent someone after her? Someone who managed to beat me here?

  Her house looks normal. It’s deathly quiet; our brothers must have already left for school. Panic strangling me, I burst into her room and then into her ensuite bathroom when I don’t see her in the main area.

  What greets me turns my blood cold—colder than ice.

  My twin has her skirt hitched up, and her right leg is balanced on the edge of her spa. I watch as she drags a razor blade across the top of her thigh, leaving a thin line of blood that wells in its wake. I can see other marks from previous bouts, plus two fresh cuts above the one she just made. Maddi appears to be in a trance—not even registering my noisy entrance.

  “Three,” she says. Her voice sounds emotionless, as if she’s numb.

  Which is impossible since I’m witnessing her deliberately make herself bleed.

  When she goes to make another cut, I lunge forward and knock the razor out of her hand. She squeals with surprise, before swinging a wild punch at me. Ducking the blow, she misses me by an inch, if that. I pin her arms to her side and wrestle her fighting form out of the bathroom. We end up falling onto the bed, and it takes all of my strength to pin her down.

  “No. No.” she screams. “I have to do five. One for each month he’s been gone. If I don’t something will happen to him.”

  “Maddi, fucking stop it.”

  “No, I have to do five,” she cries. “I have to do five. I have to do five.”

  The fight leaves her body but I don’t let go of her. She’s lost it, chanting the same sentence over and over. The sobs that tear from her chest between words are unlike anything I’ve ever heard and it sinks in that she’s absolutely fucked-up.

  Like mentally or something.

  Her phone begins to ring from its spot on her bedside table, and while I know the news on the other end might be enough to calm her, I can’t make myself let her go. Blood runs down her leg from the wounds, enough to get on the bedspread. They don’t look deep, but the fact that I can see so many other marks scares the shit out of me. She’s been doing this for ages and no one noticed.

  I was too lost in my own problems to notice that my twin was mutilating herself out of some sick need that I can’t comprehend.

  Fuck.<
br />
  I don’t know what to do.

  Her phone stops ringing. Then starts up again almost immediately.

  Lying down on the bed next to her, I wrap my arms around her shuddering body and pull her into my chest. She comes willingly, snuggling into me.

  “Maddi,” I whisper against the top of her head. “What the fuck’s going on?”

  She doesn’t answer for a long while, and we lie there listening to her phone ring, then stop, and then ring again.

  “It gives me control. When everything’s spiralling and I can’t fix it, I cut myself, and it distracts me from the chaos.”

  “You have to stop.”

  She sniffs and nods, “I will when I get Mik back. He keeps me sane.”

  That makes sense, and fills me with a big sense of relief. Thank fuck, there’s a way to fix this. Recognizing that she’s calmed down, I move away from her and pull us both into a sitting position on the bed.

  “Answer your phone,” I urge.

  Reaching over to grab it, her brow furrows when she reads the messages left. A smile breaks over her face, and I relax. She looks like she’s almost back to normal. Pressing the screen with desperate speed, she lifts it her ear.

  “Timber, please tell me it’s true. Please tell me he’s coming home.”

  He must confirm whatever he texted because she bounds to her feet and starts jumping on the bed like an overexcited child. To avoid getting bounced off, I roll onto my side and then push to my feet. Standing next to the bed, I watch the detachment from reality that’s been in her eyes since I arrived being replaced by delight and anticipation.

  “One more night. I don’t know how I’m going to survive but I will. Yes, I’ll ride it.” she answers. After listening for a moment, she replies in an even more enthusiastic voice, “Of course, that’s a great idea. I’ll tell him now.”

  Ending the call, she regards me with a serious expression. “Please don’t tell anyone what you saw. I’ll be okay now I’ve got Mik back.”

  The truth is there for me to see. I honestly believe she’ll be okay once she has Mad Dog at her side. He seems to be the only person who can keep her in one piece, no matter what the world throws at them. It’s lazy—and more than a bit selfish—but I’m happy he’s back before she inflicted too much damage on herself and we’re all left scrambling uselessly for a way to help her.