He let me cry, he let me soak his shirt with my tears. And I think it was there, at my lowest, darkest moment, that I realized I was in love with him. My world was falling down around me and he was the first person I reached out to. Grace and I had been best friends since preschool. We always ran to each other when we were in need of comfort and protection. But this time I didn’t even think to dial her.
I called Brett.
I called him not because I was already going to spend the weekend with him, I called him because out of all the people in the world he was the one I needed the most.
I tried to explain what was going on during the car ride to his house but the words were still too bitter, too painful. I think, no, I know I upset Brett when I told him how I really felt about myself, and his reaction only ended up upsetting me even more. So when he parked us inside his garage and pulled me into his arms, I tried to put it all out of my mind.
I buried my face against his neck and focused on him instead.
First, it was his smell. I closed my eyes and just breathed him in. Then I became aware of his warmth. The warmth from his arms wrapped so tightly around me, and the warmth from his chest. I was pressed so hard against him, I could feel the beat of his heart. I focused on the rhythm of his breathing and soon my own breathing synced with his.
I don’t know how long we sat like that, just holding on tightly to each other in the front seat of his mom’s car, but he pulled away first. He took my face in his big calloused hands and stared deeply into my eyes.
“Mandy, you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Immediately I wanted to roll my eyes, but he growled at me and his fingers squeezed gently.
“You are the most beautiful woman. And I don’t ever want to hear you talking bad about yourself like that again.”
I didn’t know what to say, I was speechless. I could tell he wasn’t telling me I was beautiful because he was trying to score points or something. Staring into his eyes, I could see he meant every word he said.
“Promise me you won’t talk about yourself like that again?” he asked expectantly.
And the intense way he was looking at me, I knew he would be very displeased if I didn’t give him what he wanted.
So I nodded my head. “Okay.” Even if I wasn’t quite ready to shed the identity of being a mistake just yet. It just wasn’t that easy, and he couldn’t intimidate or bully it out of me. But I was so numb at that point after all the crying, I was going along with it.
He pulled me close and proceeded to squeeze me to death. “Fuck. You’re so beautiful, so fucking gorgeous, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world that you’re with me.”
“Can’t. Breathe,” I wheezed.
His arms let up and he pushed me away. Grabbing me by the face again, he forced me to stare into his eyes again. “And you’re smart. And you’re sweet. And you’re funny. I look forward to talking to you every day. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep.”
And just when my bottom lip trembled and I felt like I just might burst into tears again, though it would be for a totally different reason, he grinned.
“And your legs are fucking amazing.”
That time I rolled my eyes and he growled playfully.
“And you’re so small and delicate…” he said dropping his hands to my shoulders and stroking them down my arms. The brush of his palms caused me to shiver and my skin to break out with goosebumps. “I feel like if I’m not careful with you I’ll break you.”
I shook my head immediately. “You won’t break me.”
“Beautiful, delicate, fairy girl,” he murmured as his hands stroked down to my hands then drifted towards my waist.
“You won’t break me,” I insisted, but he just grinned a very annoying, very knowing grin.
And maybe it was that grin… Or maybe I just had to prove that I was no delicate flower. I grabbed him by his face and forced him to look at me.
I looked him directly in his gleaming eyes and told him before I kissed him, “I’m going to break you.”
Brett tried to say something but I muffled it with my lips. I kissed him at the moment with everything I had. With all the strength and stubbornness inside me. He may have been physically stronger– I wasn’t delusional, I knew he could easily overpower me– but I was a girl used to getting her way.
And when it came to breaking him down and making him weak, I knew just what to do.
I moaned softly and dropped my hands to his shoulders and kneaded them as my lips pressed against his. Then I twisted on top of his lap until I straddled his thighs.
His soft lips parted, and he tried to say something again but I was having none of that. He had given me just the challenge, just the distraction I needed, and I was going for all or nothing.
Brett’s lips parted and I took it as an opportunity. He stiffened as my tongue slipped past his lips and into his mouth.
Still, he hesitated. My tongue stroked against his eagerly, encouraging his to meet with me. Stroke by stroke and squeeze by squeeze, I broke down his resistance until he groaned in defeat and his hands grabbed at me desperately.
He grabbed up two great big handfuls of my ass, molding me in his hands.
I rocked against him, moaning into his mouth as I dragged my hands down his chest.
“Mandy…” he groaned into the kiss but I ignored him.
I could feel him beneath me, stiffening, as I rocked on his lap.
My hands found the bottom of his soft t-shirt and I yanked it up before slipping them beneath it.
“Mandy…” he growled, squeezing my ass.
I was tempted to tell him to shut up, talking would only ruin the moment, but decided I was better off shoving my tongue down his throat instead.
I pressed my hands against his taunt stomach. Thanks to all his training, he was quickly becoming leaner and harder. My fingers began to trace his definition. I tried not to tickle him as my fingers slipped down to his waistband.
“Mandy,” Brett growled, tearing his mouth from my mouth. “Stop.”
I froze instantly.
Brett released my ass and reached down, grabbing my wrists. I blinked in confusion at him. Was he rejecting me? Seriously?
“What’s wrong?” I asked. What did I do?
Brett shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong.” Settling my hands on my own lap, he then reached over and pushed open his door. “I just don’t want my first time to be in the front seat of a fucking Volvo.”
“Oh,” I sighed in relief, and when I fully processed what he just said, I grinned. “Me either.”
With the car door pushed open all the way, he gave me a little slap on the butt and told me to, “Get out.”
I made sure to wiggle and squirm as much as I could as I twisted and slid off of his lap. Brett groaned and cursed, and somehow managed to give me another swat to the butt before I scampered away from the car.
“Now,” Brett said as he climbed out of the driver’s side and slammed the door shut behind him. Drawing himself up to his full height, he grinned wickedly as I backed away from him. I knew what that look meant. “What did you say you were going to do to me? Break me?”
Funny, it felt entirely possible when I had him trapped in the car. But now that he was standing before me, towering over me in fact, it seemed impossible to do.
I glanced back at the door leading into his house and hoped it was unlocked. “Did I say that?” I asked and fluttered my lashes innocently at him.
Brett nodded his head and continued to grin. “Yeah, you did. So why don’t you come here…”
I shook my head and kept retreating while he approached cautiously, knowing one wrong move and I would bolt.
“And show me what you got, fairy girl?”
I huffed and narrowed my eyes at him. “I am not a fairy.”
“Sure you are,” Brett smirked. “So little and delicate…”
Now it was my turn
to growl. I flexed one of my arms and told him to, “Look at these pythons!”
Brett lunged forward, making a grab for me and I squealed and bolted for the door leading to his house.
I twisted the door handle but it was locked!
Fuck.
I squealed again as Brett’s arms wrapped around me and he pulled me into him.
His head dipped down and his breath warmed my ear as he asked, “Where are you going?”
I squirmed uncomfortably because his hard-on was stabbing me in the back. Did he grow bigger in his pants too from working out? “I think I was making a break for your room.”
“Mmmm,” he purred into my ear and my insides quivered in response. “That’s actually a good idea.” He reached around me and shoved a key into the door handle. After a twist so sharp I was surprised he didn’t break the key off, he pushed the door open.
Pulling the key back, I took advantage of his distraction and burst forward, breaking the grip of his one arm.
“Hey!” he called out as I took off.
Thankfully, it wasn’t the first time I had been in Brett’s house. I’d been invited over for dinner a couple of times, so I could kind of guess where I was in the dark. Kind of…
“Shit,” I shrieked as my shins made contact with something very hard. Maybe running around his house in the dark wasn’t a good idea after all.
“Are you okay?” Brett asked and walked up behind me while I bent over, rubbing my throbbing hurts.
“I don’t think I broke anything.”
“Let me get some light on and I’ll check you out.”
“It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt,” I grumbled to myself as Brett walked over to the wall and flipped the lights on.
I squinted and winced at the sudden bright light while Brett walked back over to me. He squatted down to check me out.
“Come here,” he told me and I stepped closer to him. He examined my shins with a critical eye. Then he poked at one of them and asked, “Does that hurt?”
I hissed, “Yes.”
He nodded. “I don’t think you’re seriously injured but you’ll probably have a couple of bruises tomorrow.”
I made a face somewhere between a frown and a pout.
Brett straightened from the floor and then he scooped me up into his arms. “And just to be safe, you probably shouldn’t walk.”
“Eek,” I squeaked. He lifted me up far too easily. I mean I was small but I wasn’t that small. I grabbed at his shirt to hold on.
Brett turned and started to walk while carrying me as if I weighed nothing at all.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked.
His eyes glinted as he grinned. “To my room.”
“But I’m injured now.” I sighed. “Looks like I broke myself.”
Brett tipped back his head at that and his chest rumbled as he laughed. “Indeed. Good thing I’m here to kiss you better.”
Indeed, I thought to myself while feeling my heart flutter at his bright smile. And I hoped that wasn’t the only thing he was planning to do.
* * *
With each step up towards Brett’s bedroom, my heart thundered in my chest. This was it. We were so going to do it. At least, I hoped we were going to. Even before all the crap with my parents, I was pretty sure we were both planning on this moment.
Our first night together, completely alone.
I wanted it more than ever. Perhaps after this I would feel even more connected to him.
I leaned back and peered up at Brett’s face, shadowed in the dimness. His jaw was set as if he was preparing for a match but his eyes softened as he noticed me looking at him.
There were no words, no questions. Just anticipation and excitement. Brett shifted me in his arms as he reached the last step and I reached up, cupping his cheek in my hand. I could feel a slight scrape of scruff beneath my palm. Each day we were changing, maturing. Growing into ourselves. He was becoming more of a man, and I was about to become a woman in his arms.
I knew I could say no. I knew that with just the word, Brett would respect my wishes and not pressure me into it. But at that moment I wanted nothing more than to be with him and block out the rest of the world.
It felt like an eternity before we crossed the landing and reached his room.
“Did you clean?” I asked as he pushed open the door and carried me across the threshold. It smelled chemically sweet, like air freshener had been liberally used. The last time I had visited his house his room had smelled like dirty socks and sweaty gym shoes.
“I tidied up a bit for you,” he admitted.
I giggled nervously. Oh my god, this was really happening. “How sweet of you.”
He paused and shifted as if unsure. “Do you want the light on?”
No, the shy part of me cried out. But my lips said, “Yes.” I wanted to see everything, all of him at once. So far, despite all of our fooling around, we had only been able to see bits and pieces of each other.
He flipped a switch with his elbow and soft white light flooded the room.
Brett carried me quickly to his bed, and before I could get a good look around to see just how much he cleaned up, he lowered me gently. I think he meant to let go of me but I held fast and pulled him with me. He groaned and I wrapped my legs around his waist, meaning to never let go.
“Mandy,” he said tenderly just before I leaned up and pressed a kiss against his lips. My hands found the bottom of his shirt and I began to tug it up.
“Take it off,” I told him then kissed him some more.
Brett pulled back and I loosened my legs around his waist, for the moment letting him go. As he grabbed his shirt and yanked it over his head, I sat up and began to unbutton my blouse.
My fumbling fingers paused, and I sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of his naked chest, smooth and exposed. I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen him with his shirt off, but it was obvious from then and now he was becoming stronger. The amount of dips, grooves, and definition of his muscles had, at the very least, doubled. I had the strongest urge to trace all the new lines with my tongue.
And I was edging closer to him, meaning to do just that, when he surprised me with a growl. “You’re too damn slow.”
While I was admiring all of Brett’s newly acquired muscles, he had been eagerly watching me, waiting for me to finish unbuttoning my blouse. He reached towards me and nudged my hands out of the way. Then he grabbed the sides of my shirt and ripped it open.
“Hey!” I cried out as the rest of the buttons popped off.
He groaned and his hands cupped my breasts. For a moment I forgot whatever it was I meant to say next as he squeezed me with his warm palms. I couldn’t remember until he began to tug impatiently at my lacy pink bra, but by then it no longer mattered. My blouse slid down my shoulders and I wiggled my arms until it slid completely off.
The way Brett was watching me, hungrily, as if he meant to eat me up, I felt empowered. I lowered my lashes coyly and reached behind me. My back arched and my breasts thrust forward as I unhooked my bra. In all our make out sessions, I don’t think Brett had ever seen me completely topless.
As my bra loosened and slipped down, he sucked in a sharp breath and something inside me clenched in response.
I blinked and Brett was pushing me back, burying his face between my breasts.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful, Mandy,” he groaned, and I leaned back, thoroughly enjoying his admiration. Turning his face from side to side, his tongue licked and tasted as if he just couldn’t get enough, all the while he was making hungry little noises in his throat. His hands squeezed me, his calloused palms constricting me.
Then his slick lips completely covered my right nipple, sucking it hard into his hot mouth.
I arched off the bed with a moan.
He released that nipple and I gasped his name. “Brett.”
“Do you like it, baby?” he asked me, his eyes looking up as his head moved until his mouth hovered over m
y left nipple.
“Yes,” I said breathlessly. I just couldn’t seem to get enough air in my lungs.
He grinned just before his mouth sucked in my left nipple.
He pulled hard and I cried out, my fingers scratching and clawing the sheets. His eyes, so bright now they gleamed like liquid gold, remained locked on my face while his mouth hungrily worked.
Head tipped back, all the heat inside me felt like it was melting my muscles. I was becoming so weak, so needy. Familiar pressure was building inside me.
His mouth suddenly released my nipple and I ached as he let me go. My lips formed a pout, but before I could whine my displeasure, he grinned up at me. “Now that I have you for the entire night I mean to kiss every inch of you.”
He began to kiss his way down, his big hands spanning my stomach then encircling each of my hips. He had to hold me down as I squirmed. The way he kissed me, it was arousing but it also tickled. My giggles earned me a few gentle nips of his teeth. But at least the pressure in my core eased until I was feeling slightly less needy and more in control of myself.
His mouth lingered at my bellybutton and I tensed, expecting him to lick it or something. Then he began to pull my skirt down. He tried to lift my butt up but I was feeling playful again and purposely made it difficult.
“Mandy,” he growled.
I smirked, “What?”
“You know what I want.”
I shook my head. I was going to make him tell me. “What do you want?”
“You,” he grunted as he grabbed the waist of my skirt and yanked it down before tossing it over his shoulder.
“Where are your panties?” he asked the next moment, his eyes wide and his mouth slack with shock.
I tried very hard not to snicker, it was exactly the reaction I was hoping for. “I guess I forgot to put them on.” Though I had very much remembered to wax and clean up down there.
Slamming Demon: A Pounding Hearts Novel Page 9