Slamming Demon: A Pounding Hearts Novel

by Izzy Sweet, Sean Moriarty

  “Nothing,” Brett growled and slumped back in his chair.

  Ms. Henry gave a sharp nod of her head and then turned to me. “Miss Taylor, please put your phone away.” She waited until I pouted and slipped it back into my purse then she tapped over to her desk and started class.

  I squirmed and shifted uncomfortably in my seat because I could feel Brett glaring at me the entire time, and I swear he was scooting his desk closer to mine. I eyed the clock, preparing my things five minutes before the bell was supposed to ring, meaning to make a quick getaway. Just as the bell rang, both Brett and I jumped up at the same time.

  “Mandy, we need to talk.”

  It was my turn to say, “Fuck.”

  “Miss Taylor!” Ms. Henry said shrilly.

  “I’m sorry!” I called out. I was saying an awful lot of sorry’s lately. Ms. Henry snorted but otherwise dismissed me with a nod of her head. I threw my backpack over my shoulder while dropping my chin and rushed out of the classroom.

  “So you’re just going to run away from me, Mandy?” Brett said following close on my heels.

  “I’m not running away from you,” I said over my shoulder.

  Brett grabbed me by the elbow and spun me around to face him. I gaped at him while his eyes scanned my face as if he was searching for something. “Why are you avoiding me? What have I done?”

  My eyes narrowed and I frowned unhappily, yanking my elbow back. “You haven’t done anything.”

  “Then why won’t you even talk to me? You can barely stand looking at me.”

  Standing in the middle of the hallway, we were creating a scene, and it felt like everyone around us was starting to take notice.

  My cheeks flamed and I shook my head. “It’s not you, it’s me. I just need some space after what happened. Can we talk about this after school?”

  I turned my face and glared at Stacey Baker who was snickering to her group of friends and pointing at us. “It’s no one else’s business.”

  “Are you going to talk to me after school or are you just going to run off again?”

  I sighed and I hated the way Brett was looking at me. I’d hurt him and I didn’t want to hurt him. I needed time and space because I didn’t want to hurt him, but I was making a mess of everything and it was all going to shit.

  I couldn’t look at Brett because it physically hurt to look at him. He was so fucking handsome, I just wanted to throw my arms around him and hug him to death. I loved him, I truly madly deeply fucking loved him.

  But I was beginning to fear I was only going to hurt him in the end.

  If I truly loved him then I couldn’t be selfish. If I couldn’t commit to him one hundred percent, I needed to let go of him. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it quite yet. I had to be certain and I wasn’t certain yet. I thought time and space would give me the clarity needed to make the decision but if anything, it had only made things worse.

  “I will meet you. Did you drive? I’ll meet you at your car?”

  Brett nodded his head and then there was this long awkward pause between us. Normally, we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other, but now it felt like there was this enormous distance between us. Distance I had created.

  “Okay…” I said and turned around, running to make my next class. I wasn’t running away from Brett, I wasn’t. At least, that’s what I told myself.

  * * *

  After my final class, I kept my word and headed out to the parking lot to meet Brett. He was already there, leaning against his mom’s Volvo, waiting for me.

  “Hey,” I said and paused at the front bumper.

  “Hey,” Brett said and pulled open the passenger door. “Hop in, I’ll give you a ride home.”

  I bit my lip and nodded my head. I wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of being trapped in a small space with him, it would make it all that much harder to resist breaking the barrier between us, but I couldn’t see any other way around it. Like a true gentleman he held the door open for me until I climbed in and he didn’t take off until I was buckled into my seat.

  Brett was coldly silent as he pulled out of the parking lot and took off down the street. He stared hard at the road in front of him as I struggled to find the words. It wasn’t until he pulled into my driveway and turned to face me that I had to tell him. I just had to make sure he knew it.

  “I love you,” I said and watched a kaleidoscope of emotions play out on his face. Then I knew I was breaking my own heart when I said. “But I can’t do this anymore.”

  “What’s changed? How can you love me and not want to be with me?”

  “I want to be with you Brett, I do. You’re the smartest, hottest, most awesome guy I’ve ever met. But I think we’re just too young and we’re getting in over our heads.”

  “That’s fucking bullshit,” he snarled and glared at me accusingly. “Why are you just telling me this now?”

  It was hard meeting his glare so I dropped my eyes to my lap. “We got lucky that I wasn’t pregnant. I mean, birth control isn’t one hundred percent effective. Even with protection we’re taking a risk every time. And I don’t want to be pregnant. I’m not ready for children.”

  “Then we fucking double-up on protection or I pull out. Or we just stop having sex. We don’t have to break up.”

  I shook my head sadly and still couldn’t look at him. “I’m leaving in a couple of months, anyway.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going out to California.”

  Brett released a long string of expletives and thumped his hands hard against the steering wheel.

  Brett

  I heard the words coming from her mouth and I understood their meaning, but I had no clue why the fuck she was saying those things.

  “I’m going out to California.”

  What the exact fuck could I say to that? I was here and she was leaving me.

  “Why? I checked out the theatre department here in UNLV. It’s got a pretty good reputation. I know you want to go out there and try your luck, but that’s not a guaranteed thing…”

  I knew I was being unreasonable. But fuck.

  “When the fuck did you decide you were leaving? Before we took each other's virginities? Before I said I love you? When you thought you were pregnant? Did I ever even have a chance of keeping you?”

  By the end my voice was nearly yelling. I could see Mandy there hunched in the corner of my car and it hurt me. I was yelling at the one person I loved more than I could ever imagine.

  “I know it’s hard to understand, Brett, but I can’t stay here. I can’t let us turn into my parents. I have a chance to go to California to try to become an actress. I know it sounds silly, but this is my chance. Can’t you understand that?”

  “Mandy, I have seen you in school plays, and you are amazing. But that’s not Hollywood, that’s not a stepping stone for more. Your mom is a pretty woman, but that’s it. You know that! She probably wouldn’t have made it in New York. She just had all those people telling her shit. It’s not realistic!”

  And I was the asshole.

  “You don’t think I have what it takes! You are holding me back, Brett, and it will slowly kill me if I let you continue to do it!”

  “I am not! I want you to see that it is almost impossible what you want and you are throwing us away on a pipe dream!”

  The sting on my cheek let me know I went way too far. I didn’t even see her hand touch me, but I sure did feel it. She was in my face yelling right back at me, and then she slowly pulled back after she realized what she did.

  Her mouth fell open and in that moment I knew it was over. We were done and she was going to California.

  “Brett, you… you want to be an MMA star. You haven’t said it but you do, and I hope you are. But like you, I don’t think you will make it either.”

  She opened the door and quietly got out of the car. There was no sobbing, no screaming then.

  Just the absolute fucking dead silence.

&nbs
p; It was absolutely deafening. I could barely even notice her gently shutting the car door.

  I saw her walk away from me.

  Silence.

  I blinked and I was no longer in front of her house. I was at the light across from the dojo.

  Mandy

  I walked away from Brett. Somehow I did it. It took everything I had but I made it to my front door without running back to him. Gunning his engine, he pulled out with a squeal. I walked into my house, slammed the door behind me and let what just happened sink in.

  He was gone, I had succeeded.

  He probably hated me. I deserved his hate. I leaned back against the door and slid down to the floor, my knees weakening.

  No one was around to see me break into pieces.

  I had to remind myself over and over that I was doing it for him. I was doing it for myself. I was doing it for us, dammit. We were too young, and we were getting in way over our heads. We still had our entire lives ahead of us. If I stayed, within a year I knew I’d end up pregnant.

  Yet, all I wanted to do was spend every waking moment I could with him. I loved him, I loved him desperately. I loved him so much sometimes it hurt to breathe.

  I didn’t plan on leaving him but I didn’t plan on any of this happening. Maybe… maybe if my parents didn’t split or if I didn’t miss my period, I would have decided to stay. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so afraid to jump into it so young because I wouldn’t have seen the consequences playing out in front of me.

  Maybe if I hadn’t been so scared shitless of turning into my mother I wouldn’t have ruined the best thing to ever happen to me.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Brett

  “Hey, Brett! How’s it going?” Chase called out. The fucking monster was in the ring and starting up something called Next.

  Next is a fucked up version of King of the Hill, but only in the cage. A guy stands in the middle and calls out “Next!” then he waits for someone to come in and get him out of the open door of the cage. Then, whoever is left standing calls out, “Next!” This goes on until everyone who wants to jump in is either eliminated or too tired to go again.

  It was fun and absolutely crazy because you could face up to five to ten different guys of all sorts of talent levels, or just one guy.

  Some guy jumped on the chance and dived into the cage, going after a laughing Chase. It was supposed to be fun and games, but I wanted a shot at the big fucker myself. Chase could last a pretty long time so I went and got dressed.

  Taking a turn at the long punching and kicking bag, I slowly warmed up my body. My brain was empty inside, I just punched and kicked.

  Punch and kick.

  Each kick echoed off the bag, and I heard a couple of guys commenting that I was trying to kick the bag off the hinges. In truth? I was trying to. I liked how the leather slapped a stinging blow against the leg.

  Three guys jumped in and tried to tackle the monster before I took my turn. I had played the game before, and I didn’t go too far, but had a good time doing it.

  “Hey bud, how’s it going?” Chase asked as I stepped in the ring. He looked down at my legs and frowned.

  Looking down, I could see how red the skin was, and it looked like I had been kicking for a while. But I didn’t feel the burn in my muscles so I just shrugged.

  I lunged quickly at Chase and he sprawled backwards as I tried a quick takedown. It was useless but I got a chance to wrap my arms around his legs and flop him over to his side. That was my intention actually. If I couldn’t overpower him I was going to submit the fucker.

  Chase knew I was not just playing around when I landed a solid kick to his thigh after he accidentally boxed my ear. I still hadn’t spoken or felt any pain, I just wanted the numbness in my body to end.

  Backing up, Chase raised his hand and asked, “We still playing?”

  I shrugged. I wanted to so say: No, just knock my ass out, I don’t want to be awake anymore. She’s gone.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but a lump was there so I just shook my head.

  “This personal between me and you?”

  “No.”

  “Okay, let’s do it. No punches or disabling kicks, ya fucking little demon.”

  I nodded my head and tucked in. I circled around him as I felt the eyes of the gym circle around us.

  I dived in this time and grappled at his chest and felt him push me back towards the wall of the cage. His fucking strength was almost unbelievable. But I wasn’t a little bitch anymore like when I first started. So when he got me about a three feet from the wall, I took a few quick steps back and tried to use his momentum. That’s all he needed, though. He connected a knee to my thigh, and I pulled away, with a hitch in my step for a moment.

  I lashed out a soft but solid kick to his calf and watched him flinch. I think he expected me to fully kick him. I rushed forward and drove my shoulder into his stomach. He woofed out air as I surprised him and I pushed us towards the floor. Getting myself a half mount, I started working for an arm bar. I was slowly working his arm towards that. But again, the big fuck was competing in the heavyweight division and he had the brute strength to prove it.

  I was shoved hard off of him with his free arm while his torso bucked up. I only had a moment before he was trying to take me back for a choke. When I felt his arm around my neck, he flexed hard and I knew I had to tap.

  But I couldn’t.

  I began to thrash around, trying to break the hold but only felt him hold on tighter.

  I think a few tears may have slipped out of my eyes before everything went black.

  “Fuck.” I croaked out as I slowly sat myself up. I could see all around the cage the guys were suspiciously ignoring me, and Reaper was sitting over by the cage wall.

  “So, the blondey dumped you?”

  Nodding, I didn’t trust myself as I sat up and scooted myself to the cage wall, not too far from him.

  Chase reached over and patted my shoulder. “They come and go, brother. Just don’t kick my fucking thigh like that again. I’m gonna fucking bruise from that, and I got a fucking date tonight.”

  He laughed and stood up. Reaching down, he grabbed my hand and yanked me to my feet.

  “I’ll talk to the committee and get them to set you up with a fight at the next event. Should be an undercard fight, ‘bout three months from now.”

  Nodding my head, I said a quick thanks, and headed for the locker room, then home.

  I thought about the fight with Mandy, and I couldn’t really come to grips with what had happened and what was said. Again, I curled up on my bed. That time, however, I let the tears come out on their own.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Mandy

  I skipped the final two weeks of History class. I contacted Ms. Henry and explained to her that I was feeling ill, and because I passed my final she excused the absences, wishing me the best. I only had a couple of other classes that I had to show up for, but I managed to catch only the briefest of glimpses of Brett. Well, except for the one time I walked past him flirting with Stacey Baker at her locker.

  If it wasn’t for Grace yanking me down the hall I would have slapped the bitch.

  I didn’t see Brett again until graduation. We were seated and called up alphabetically, so I got to watch him accept his diploma. I don’t think he was around by the time I accepted mine, but I was trying hard not to look for him.

  My mother flew in from New York to celebrate with me and my dad. My dad managed to sober up for twenty-four hours, long enough to suffer through a dinner with us, but he still looked like shit. His eyes were red and bloodshot, and his skin had a scary yellow tint. He looked at my mother as if he adored her, as if she was the world to him. It was hard for me to look my mother in the eye without snarling at her. I hated her for what she did.

  “Are you excited, Amanda?” My mother asked, sipping from her second glass of red wine. “I do wish you would reconsider pursuing theater. We could share an apartment and save on the
rent.”

  I shuddered at the thought of sharing an apartment with my mother and wished I had something stronger than the cherry coke I was stuck with. She had insisted that my father treat us with dinner at the most expensive restaurant in the city. I would have been happy with a congratulatory burger and milkshake.

  “New York just doesn’t appeal to me. I’m looking forward to sunny California,” I said and suppressed my grin as my mother pursed her ruby lips.

  “Well, at least you’re getting out of this city. I couldn’t live with myself if you were trapped in this…” My mother waved her hand in the air and for the first time in my life I witnessed my father narrowing his eyes at her.

  “It’s not that bad,” my father said defensively.

  “Yeah, it’s not that bad,” I said, supporting my dad.

  “Oh, please,” my mother rolled her eyes and sighed. “If it wasn’t bad, you’d be staying. Wouldn’t you, Amanda?”

  I shrugged my shoulders and slumped back in my chair.

  My mother nodded her head knowingly. “There’s nothing for you here.”

  “Grace is still here.” And Brett. “Actually, I’m thinking of staying to see her have her baby. I feel kind of shitty taking off on her. Carson hasn’t been around…”

  “Amanda, the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave,” my mother said. “Trust me on this. I know Grace is your best friend, but she’s made her bed. You can’t let her mistake hold you back.”

  I frowned at her. “Her baby isn’t a mistake.”

  “Kitty…” my father said reproachfully.

  My mother just rolled her eyes and took another sip of her wine. “Regardless, we’ve already purchased your tickets and secured your accommodations.”

  “You have?” I said, taken aback and looking towards my father for confirmation. He gravely nodded his head.

  “It’s all been taken care of,” my mother said, and reached for her Hermès purse. She extracted a small folder and slid it across the table to me.