All She Ever Wanted (Cedar Valley Novel Book 1)

by Christina Butrum

  “Megan?” He asked, with a wide smile on his face.

  “Yes, that’s her name.” Leah asked, “Is she your friend?”

  “Megan is Rosie’s granddaughter,” he said. “They’ve been around our family for years.”

  “She’s really sweet. I liked having her with me. She calmed my fears.”

  Her thoughts flashed back to the accident and how scared she had been. The medics and firemen had all been wonderful, but Megan’s reassurance had helped her the most.

  Liam scooted his chair closer to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I got hit by a bus,” she said. Her whole body ached and she felt stiff as she lay there. She was thankful she was alive. Tears filled her eyes and softly streamed down her face. Liam grabbed a tissue and carefully dabbed at the tears.

  “You’re okay now,” he reassured her. His heart raced as he touched her face with his thumb. “You’re going to be okay.”

  “I can’t believe this happened,” she said. She tried to sit up but it was a struggle. The cast on her leg was heavy and pinned her down.

  “Here, let me help.” Liam lifted her in one swift motion and adjusted her the way she felt most comfortable.

  She rested her head against the pillow, trying to sway her thoughts away from the crash. It was ridiculous and scary how fast it had happened. She felt completely mortified that she had allowed a stupid phone to take her attention away from the road and almost take away her life. Her thoughts rushed to Rachel.

  “Oh, my God,” she said in a panic. “Does Rachel know?” The thought of Rachel being the last to know about this upset her.

  She searched Liam’s face for the answer. He shook his head with a sigh. “Long story short, the hospital couldn’t contact her without your permission because she’s just a friend. Even though she’s the only person listed as your emergency contact, it’s against this hospital’s policy to notify friends,” he explained. And before she could interrupt, he had to explain that he had taken the appropriate measures to get hold of Rachel—with no luck. “I don’t have Rachel’s number, otherwise I would’ve called her right away. I called Adam to check if they had found your phone. He said he’s going to check on it and get back to me.”

  “You had a lot going on, I’m sure she won’t be upset.”

  “All I could think about while I was trapped in the car and on my way to the hospital had been getting hold of you to tell you how sorry I was that I messed up our date,” she explained. Tears flooded her eyes once again.

  He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Hey, it’s okay, you didn’t mess anything up. I’m the one who left when I should’ve stayed.”

  “I was coming to talk to you,” she said, swallowing hard and clearing her throat. “I wanted to tell you what I should’ve told you last Saturday. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who walked away and didn’t call you,” Liam said, grabbing a hold of her hand. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I acted like a complete ass. But if you want, you can tell me now,” Liam said, smiling. “I’m all ears.”

  She felt like bawling, but held back when she thought about how much worse this could’ve been.

  “Maybe later,” she said. “First, can you give Rachel and Scott a call? Tell them I’m fine and there’s no need to ruin their plans to come see me. Make sure to tell her that I’m fine, and reiterate the fact that there’s no need for her to ruin their plans just to come see me.”

  Liam pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the number Leah rattled off to him. While waiting for Rachel to answer, he told Leah, “I’m sure it won’t matter how many times I say it, it won’t stop her from coming here to make sure you’re okay.”

  Leah could hear how hysterical Rachel was on the phone; shaking her head when Rachel insisted that she was on her way to the hospital. Liam chuckled when he hung up after Rachel had told them to stay put.

  “It’s not like I’m going anywhere,” Leah said, about to laugh when a sharp pain halted her breathing. “I can’t laugh. This is ridiculous.”

  Liam laughed and then apologized when Leah failed at keeping a straight face. “Sorry, I have to try harder not to make you laugh.”

  Leah wondered if that was even possible. Liam had a way about him, with his silly personality. She watched him silently while they waited for Rachel to storm into the room—she was sure Rachel was going to make a loud appearance when she arrived. Liam sat back in his chair and crossed his right ankle over his knee—his hand never left Leah’s.

  She looked down at his hand and looked back at him. Fidgeting in his chair, he asked, “Is this okay? That I hold your hand? I really didn’t think much of—”

  “It’s fine.”

  She silently chuckled, to avoid pain, when his eyes widened. He relaxed only after a few minutes of her telling him she was okay. She could tell he was nervous, even through his calm demeanor.

  The sliding door opened and a chipper nurse walked in. “How’re you doing? How’s your pain?”

  Leah smiled and said, “I’m doing okay.”

  The nurse pushed a few buttons on the monitor which caused the blood pressure cuff on her arm to tighten its grip. “Do you need me to get you anything?” the nurse asked while she checked over Leah’s injuries. “They’re going to take some time to heal, but you’ll be back to normal before too long.”

  “Except for my leg,” Leah said. “The doctor said it’d take a while for that to heal completely.”

  “Broken bones are the worst,” the nurse stated. She looked at Liam and back to Leah. “Do you mind if I take a look at your incisions from surgery?”

  “Go ahead.”

  The nurse lifted Leah’s gown and examined the three incisions on her stomach. They had been stitched and covered with sterile bandages. Leah watched Liam’s eyes grow wide at the sight of the incisions. “They look worse than what they are,” she assured him. “They’re painful, but they’re not bad.”

  She pointed at her cast-covered leg and said, “Now, that’s bad.”

  The nurse dropped her gown and said, “They’re looking good. Everything appears to be healing just like it should.”

  “Thanks,” Leah said, adjusting the gown to her liking.

  “Is there anything I can get for you? Some more water? A warm blanket?”

  Shaking her head with a smile, she said, “I’m fine for now, thanks.”

  Rachel’s voice could be heard from down the hallway. They heard her ask the nurses which room was Leah’s. Within a minute, Rachel shoved her way through the curtain. “Lee,” she said, heading straight for Leah’s side. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine,” she said. “Told you not to worry and ruin your plans.”

  Shrugging, Rachel pulled up a chair next to her and said, “What kind of best friend doesn’t cancel their plans when their best friend’s in the hospital?”

  “So, what the heck caused the accident?” Rachel asked, signing Leah’s cast with a marker she had found on the board by the bed.

  Cue the embarrassment once again, Leah tossed her head back on the pillow. She explained the best way she could, without trying to sound more pathetic than she felt. “My phone was ringing; so, I tried to reach for it.”

  Rachel placed a hand on her hip and furrowed her eyebrows. “Who was so damned important to take a call from?” Leah saw the quick glance Rachel tossed at Liam—who in turn raised his hands in a silent defense.

  “I don’t even know,” Leah confessed. “It all happened so fast. I didn’t even see who was calling.”

  Rachel sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to sit too close to Leah’s injuries. She did a quick assessment of Leah’s injuries, and noticed the incision marks. “What’s this about?”

  “Surgery.” Leah silently counted in her head, waiting for Rachel’s dramatic response. Three, two…

  “Surgery?! What the hell, Lee,” Rachel exclaimed. The furious look on Rachel’s face could’ve scared an
yone who had never dealt with it before. Leah shrugged it off as another way for Rachel to express her dramatic side. “Seriously, Lee, you could’ve died.”

  Leah wasn’t trying to be smart about it, but she nodded without saying anything. She already knew the seriousness of the crash—she had been in it. She had been all alone, waiting for help, and had been trapped—helpless.

  Rachel’s arms swung around Leah. “I’m so glad you’re okay. You definitely have some mighty good angels protecting your ass.”

  Leah couldn’t agree more. The thought of her grandparents crossed her mind. They had definitely been watching over her.

  * * *

  A middle-aged nurse, with bright copper colored hair, knocked before entering Leah’s room. She had a huge smile on her face as she told Leah, “You have another visitor and he’s a looker.”

  The nurse winked as she waited for Leah to give permission for the person waiting to see her. Leah wondered who else would’ve come to see her. She already had Rachel, Scott, Liam, and Liam’s grandpa Wes, who had brought Rosie along. After visiting with Rosie for over an hour, she had decided she was glad she finally had a chance to meet her, and thanked her for the flowers. Rosie seemed so grandmotherly to Liam. Leah wondered if there was more to Wes and Rosie’s friendship than they had said.

  Leah nodded her approval of the next visitor, a bit nervous as to whom it was. It could be Liam, but he said he wouldn’t be back until later—with a promise of having to talk to her about something. She glanced at the clock, only to realize only an hour has passed since he had left.

  Leah focused on the door, and as soon as she saw his boots, she knew who had come to see her. She wanted to escape, but she was stuck—confined to the bed.

  Jake slowly walked through the door. He held on tightly to the bundle of pretty flowers as he approached the side of her bed. He was nervous. She could tell by the way he shifted as he stood next to her. He swallowed hard before he said, “I heard about your accident and wanted to bring you these.”

  She had no choice but to talk to him now—she couldn’t ignore him anymore, as he stood next to her waiting for her to say something.

  “Jake,” she said. She struggled, but managed to scoot herself into a sitting position. “You didn’t have to bring these.”

  He laid the flowers down on top of her blanket and sat next to her bum leg. He took hold of her hand and said, “It scared me.”

  She chuckled, and said sarcastically, “It scared me, too.”

  “I’m not joking.”

  She pulled her hand out of his grasp and said, “Neither am I.”

  The look on his face was depressing. She felt bad, but at the same time, she wondered why he had shown up in the first place. She had ignored his text messages and had ignored his phone call today—all of which made her dread having Adam, the firefighter who had rescued her, bring her phone to her. Out of all the hell it had gone through, it still worked—unfortunately.

  With a somber face, he stood and shrugged. “I guess I’ll get going. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  She didn’t know what to say to him. Of course, she didn’t want to be rude, but she needed to keep her distance from him so the feelings wouldn’t resurface, like they had at Levy’s.

  Sitting down next to her, he said, “I still love you. I know I messed up when I left you, but I want to make that up to you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You’re the only girl who gets me.” He looked down at her hands. She gripped the blankets so hard, her knuckles turned white. She didn’t doubt that he regretted leaving her, and she didn’t doubt that he still cared about her—it was written all over his face.

  She debated whether or not to engage in a full blown conversation with him—whether he would listen, or even care, about what she had to say was questionable. She shrugged and decided to engage—at the moment, she had nothing better to do and she really didn’t have a choice, since she was stuck in bed.

  “First, I need you to move to that chair over there,” She said, pointing to the recliner in the corner of the room, a short distance from the end of her bed. He listened that time and moved to the chair. He positioned himself on the edge and leaned forward—still trying to get as close to her as he could. She could see the pain and anger in his eyes and all over his face. “Okay, now we can talk.”

  The pain in his eyes was hard to ignore. She had no idea if it was for show or if it was honest emotion he was expressing to her. The way he had treated her the last few months of their relationship, there was no way he could blame her for her trust issues.

  She contemplated what she would say, and how she could say it. She didn’t want to come across as a cold-hearted bitch, but deep down, the emotions she really felt were brutal. She decided to filter through and not necessarily sugar coat what she wanted to say, but still refrain from brutality. She didn’t want to hurt him—no matter how badly he had once hurt her.

  “Jake,” she said, making sure he was listening. “I know you still care about me, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, but you have to realize that you hurt me. You hurt me and took my trust with you when you left.”

  He was looking down at the floor and slowly nodding as she spoke to him. “I loved you, I honestly believed…”

  She stopped short on her sentence. Were those tears? Was he crying? Oh, no, this can’t be happening. Why was this happening? She tried to maintain her wall from crumbling. She tried hard to maintain her angst against him. Don’t feel bad, don’t you dare.

  Without thinking much about his pride, she questioned, “Why are you crying?”

  She knew his answer would be simple—hell, she already knew what his answer would be, before she even asked him—he was truly hurt—defeated. The moment he looked up at her, her heart skipped an extra beat and she fell for his dark eyes outlined with redness.

  “You really have to ask me that?” His bottom lip jutted out, seeming to quiver when he talked. “I’ve given nothing but time and apologies to you, and I get nothing in return.”

  The door slid open and Liam walked in. The look of confusion crossed his face when he realized Jake was there. His eyes focused on Jake and then on Leah. Jake stood from his seat and said, “You let me know what you truly want. I’ve given you everything I have to offer. Now it’s your move.”

  He shoved past Liam on his way out the door, slamming the door behind him. Liam closed the gap between himself and the bed, pulling a chair up close to the side of Leah.

  Leah quickly brushed away the stray tear that had silently fallen, as she waited for Liam to begin twenty questions. When he didn’t say anything, she looked up at him. He was sitting perfectly still, leaning back against the chair. He was content and did not look too upset, but he had something he wanted to say. She could tell he was spinning on it—he was biting his tongue.

  “Go ahead,” she said, encouraging him to say what he wanted to say.

  He shook his head. “I’m not sure what you’re expecting me to say.”

  “Say something, please. I don’t like it when you sit quietly.”

  She needed to be honest with herself. She hated the fact she had gotten soft over Jake and his visit. Seeing him so vulnerable had weakened her—had made her feel for him.

  “How long was he here?” he asked, with irritation in his voice. His tone could’ve played off as a bit of jealousy, but she ignored it. She didn’t blame him for being a tad jealous, or a bit unsettled.

  “He was here for only ten minutes,” she said, glancing at the clock. “If that.”

  Liam slowly nodded. He wasn’t the type to get jealous over the little things, but he felt a bit perturbed by the fact Jake had come to the hospital to see Leah when he wasn’t there. The thought of Jake checking on Leah wasn’t the problem, it was the uncertainty of their whole situation. Liam wasn’t sure how she truly felt—since they hadn’t really talked about it. They were supposed to talk about it today, but that had gone out the window; what with Jack’s visit,
it’d be too awkward to bring it up now.

  “What are you thinking about?” she asked. She sat straight up, shoving the pillows behind her back to help prop herself up. She could tell by the look on his face he had thoughts running through his mind—concern, a bit of anxiety and a bit of irritation.

  When he shook his head, she decided to put everything out there—in the open—every single thing.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” she said.

  “Is that so?”

  “I can imagine.”

  She looked down at her hands as she wrung them together. She had no idea why, but she was nervous. She had never had to have this conversation with anyone before, because she had always kept things simple—until recently, she had no choice when things had turned complicated a bit too quickly—all in one night.

  She looked at Liam. He was hard to read, but she could imagine what he was thinking. She needed to set things straight. The feelings that had resurfaced for Jake had been uncontrollable, but she knew it would be a complete mistake to give him another chance to break her heart. She needed to text Jake and tell him she wanted nothing to do with him. She grabbed her phone. She typed his name and continued with the message that she hoped would end this thing between them—for good. She quickly pressed send before she had time to rethink any of it.

  “There,” she said, putting her phone down next to her. “That should take care of things.”

  She really didn’t care about Jake, and it still amazed her after all this time how feelings could come back—out of nowhere. Her phone buzzed and she clicked the message. Jake wasn’t okay with her decision, it was obvious, but she was okay with it—that’s all that really mattered right now. She didn’t want to waste any more time on things that didn’t matter in life. She had wasted a decade worth of time on Jake already— it was time to move on for good—no turning back.

  Liam sat on the edge of the bed, resting his hand on her leg. “It’s okay to tell me what’s going on.”

  In the last few weeks, she had developed stronger feelings for this man who sat beside her. She had once only wanted to be friends, but now, she was sure there was more—they had been falling for each other since day one. There was no way to deny that. She hadn’t believed in love at first sight, or soulmates, until she had met Liam.