Love by Degree

by Debbie Macomber

  “I’ll email you soon.”

  “Do that. And much happiness, Mom. You and James deserve it.”

  “Thank you, love.”

  They spoke for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. Ellen walked down the stairs in a state of stunned disbelief, absentmindedly tightening the belt of her housecoat. In a matter of months, her entire family had disintegrated. Her sister and mother had married and Bud had joined the military.

  “Good morning,” she cautiously greeted Reed, who was sitting at the kitchen table dressed and reading the paper.

  “Morning,” he responded dryly, as he lowered his paper.

  Her hands trembling, Ellen reached for a mug, but it slipped out of her fingers and hit the counter, luckily without breaking.

  Reed carefully folded the newspaper and studied her face. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

  “My mom’s married,” she murmured in a subdued voice. Tears burned in her eyes. She was no longer sure just what she was feeling. Happiness for her mother, yes, but also sadness as she remembered her father and his untimely death.

  “Remarried?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She sat down across from him, holding the mug in both hands and staring into its depths. “It’s not like this is sudden. Dad’s been gone a lot of years. What surprises me is all the emotion I’m feeling.”

  “That’s only natural. I remember how I felt when my dad remarried. I’d known about Mary and Dad for months. But the day of the wedding I couldn’t help feeling, somehow, that my father had betrayed my mother’s memory. Those were heavy thoughts for a ten-year-old boy.” His hand reached for hers. “As I recall, that was the last time I cried.”

  Ellen nodded. It was the only way she could thank him, because speaking was impossible just then. She knew instinctively that Reed didn’t often share the hurts of his youth.

  Just when her throat had relaxed and she felt she could speak, Derek threw open the back door and dashed in, tossing his older brother a set of keys.

  “I had them add a quart of oil,” Derek said. “Are you sure you can’t stay longer?”

  The sip of coffee sank to the pit of Ellen’s stomach and sat there. “You’re leaving?” It seemed as though someone had jerked her chair out from under her.

  He released her hand and gave it a gentle pat. “You’ll be fine.”

  Ellen forced her concentration back to her coffee. For days she’d been telling herself that she’d be relieved and delighted when Reed left. Now she dreaded it. More than anything, she wanted him to stay.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Ellen,” Derek shouted as he burst in the front door, his hands full of mail. “Can I invite Michelle to dinner on Friday night?”

  Casually, Ellen looked up from the textbook she was studying. By mutual agreement, they all went their separate ways on Friday evenings and Ellen didn’t cook. If one of the boys happened to be in the house, he heated up soup or put together a sandwich or made do with leftovers. In Monte’s case, he did all three.

  “What are you planning to fix?” Ellen responded cagily.

  “Cook? Me?” Derek slapped his hand against his chest and looked utterly shocked. “I can’t cook. You know that.”

  “But you’re inviting company.”

  His gaze dropped and he restlessly shuffled his feet. “I was hoping that maybe this one Friday you could …” He paused and his head jerked up. “You don’t have a date, do you?” He sounded as if that was the worst possible thing that could happen.

  “Not this Friday.”

  “Oh, good. For a minute there, I thought we might have a problem.”

  “We?” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have a problem, but it sounds like you do.” She wasn’t going to let him con her into his schemes quite so easily.

  “But you’ll be here.”

  “I was planning on soaking in the tub, giving my hair a hot-oil treatment and hibernating with a good book.”

  “But you could still make dinner, couldn’t you? Something simple like seafood jambalaya with shrimp, stuffed eggplant and pecan pie for dessert.”

  “Are you planning to rob a bank, as well?” At his blank stare, she elaborated. “Honestly, Derek, have you checked out the price of seafood lately?”

  “No, but you cooked that Cajun meal not long ago and—”

  “Shrimp was on sale,” she broke in.

  He continued undaunted. “And it was probably the most delicious meal I’ve ever tasted in my whole life. I was kicking myself because Reed wasn’t here and he would have loved it as much as everyone else.”

  At the mention of Reed’s name, Ellen’s lashes fell, hiding the confusion and longing in her eyes. The house had been full of college boys, yet it had seemed astonishingly empty without Reed. He’d been with them barely a week and Ellen couldn’t believe how much his presence had affected her. The morning he’d left, she’d walked him out to his truck, trying to think of a way to say goodbye and to thank him for understanding the emotions that raged through her at the news of her mother’s remarriage. But nothing had turned out quite as she’d expected. Reed had seemed just as reluctant to say goodbye as she was, and before climbing into the truck, he’d leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips over hers. The kiss had been so spontaneous that Ellen wasn’t sure if he’d really meant to do it. But intentional or not, he had, and the memory of that kiss stayed with her. Now hardly a day passed that he didn’t enter her thoughts.

  A couple of times when she was on the second floor she’d wandered into her old bedroom, forgetting that it now belonged to Reed. Both times, she’d lingered there, enjoying the sensation of remembering Reed and their verbal battles.

  Repeatedly Ellen told herself that it was because Derek’s brother was over twenty-one and she could therefore carry on an adult conversation with him. Although she was genuinely fond of the boys, she’d discovered that a constant diet of their antics and their adolescent preoccupations—Pat’s basketball, Monte’s appetite and Derek’s Michelle—didn’t exactly make for stimulating conversation.

  “You really are a fantastic cook,” Derek went on. “Even better than my mother. You know, only the other day Monte was saying—”

  “Don’t you think you’re putting it on a little thick, Derek?”

  He blinked. “I just wanted to tell you how much I’d appreciate it if you decided to do me this tiny favor.”

  “You’ll buy the ingredients yourself?”

  “The grocery budget couldn’t manage it?”

  “Not unless everyone else is willing to eat oatmeal three times a week for the remainder of the month.”

  “I don’t suppose they would be,” he muttered. “All right, make me a list and I’ll buy what you need.”

  Ellen was half hoping that once he saw the price of fresh shrimp, he’d realize it might be cheaper to take Michelle to a seafood restaurant.

  “Oh, by the way,” Derek said, examining one of the envelopes in his hand. “You got a letter. Looks like it’s from Reed.”

  “Reed?” Her lungs slowly contracted as she said his name, and it was all she could do not to snatch the envelope out of Derek’s hand. The instant he gave it to her, she tore it open.

  “What does he say?” Derek asked, sorting through the rest of the mail. “He didn’t write me.”

  Ellen quickly scanned the contents. “He’s asking if the electrician has showed up yet. That’s all.”

  “Oh? Then why didn’t he just call? Or send an email?”

  She didn’t respond, but made a show of putting the letter back inside the envelope. “I’ll go into the kitchen and make that grocery list before I forget.”

  “I’m really grateful, Ellen, honest.”

  “Sure,” she grumbled.

  As soon as the kitchen door swung shut, Ellen took out Reed’s letter again, intent on savoring every word.

  Dear Ellen,

  I realized I don’t have your email address, so I thought I’d do this the old-
fashioned way—by mail. There’s something so leisurely and personal about writing a letter, isn’t there?

  You’re right, the Monterey area is beautiful. I wish I could say that everything else is as peaceful as the scenery here. Unfortunately it’s not. Things have been hectic. But if all goes well, I should be back at the house by Saturday, which is earlier than I expected.

  Have you become accustomed to the idea that your mother’s remarried? I know it was a shock. Like I said, I remember how I felt, and that was many years ago. I’ve been thinking about it all—and wondering about you. If I’d known what was happening, I might have been able to postpone this trip. You looked like you needed someone. And knowing you, it isn’t often that you’re willing to lean on anyone. Not the independent, self-sufficient woman I discovered walking around my kitchen half-naked. I can almost see your face getting red when you read that. I shouldn’t tease you, but I can’t help it.

  By the way, I contacted a friend of mine who owns an electrical business and told him about the problem with the kitchen outlet. He said he’d try to stop by soon. He’ll call first.

  I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you—and the boys, but mostly you. Actually, I’m pleased you’re there to keep those kids in line.

  Take care and I’ll see you late Saturday.

  Say hi to the boys for me. I’m trusting that they aren’t giving you any problems.

  Reed

  Ellen folded the letter and slipped it into her pocket. She crossed her arms, smiling to herself, feeling incredibly good. So Reed had been thinking about her. And she sensed that it was more than the troublesome kitchen outlet that had prompted his letter. Although she knew it would be dangerous for her to read too much into Reed’s message, Ellen couldn’t help feeling encouraged.

  She propped open her cookbook, compiling the list of items Derek would need for his fancy dinner with Michelle. A few minutes later, her spirits soared still higher when the electrical contractor phoned and arranged a date and a time to check the faulty outlet. Somehow, that seemed like a good omen to her—a kind of proof that she really was in Reed’s thoughts.

  “Was the phone for me?” Derek called from halfway down the stairs.

  Ellen finished writing the information on the pad by the phone before answering. “It was the electrician.”

  “Oh. I’m expecting a call from Michelle.”

  “Speaking of your true love, here’s your grocery list.”

  Derek took it and slowly ran his finger down the items she’d need for his dinner with Michelle. “Is this going to cost more than twenty-five dollars?” He glanced up, his face doubtful.

  “The pecans alone will be that much,” she exaggerated.

  With only a hint of disappointment, Derek shook his head. “I think maybe Michelle and I should find a nice, cozy, inexpensive restaurant.”

  Satisfied that her plan had worked so well, Ellen hid a smile. “Good idea. By the way,” she added, “Reed says he’ll be home Saturday.”

  “So soon? He’s just been gone two weeks.”

  “Apparently it’s a short job.”

  “Apparently,” Derek grumbled. “I don’t have to be here, do I? Michelle wanted me to help her and her sister paint.”

  “Derek,” Ellen said. “I didn’t even know you could wield a brush. The upstairs hallway—”

  “Forget it,” he told her sharply. “I’m only doing this to help Michelle.”

  “Right, but I’m sure Michelle would be willing to help you in exchange.”

  “Hey, we’re students, not slaves.”

  The following afternoon, the electrician arrived and was in and out of the house within thirty minutes. Ellen felt proud that she’d correctly traced the problem. She could probably have fixed it if Reed hadn’t become so frantic at the thought of her fumbling around with the wiring. Still, recalling his reaction made her smile.

  * * *

  That evening, Ellen had finished loading the dishwasher and had just settled down at the kitchen table to study when the phone rang. Pat, who happened to be walking past it, answered.

  “It’s Reed,” he told Ellen. “He wants to talk to you.”

  With reflexes that surprised even her, Ellen bounded out of her chair.

  “Reed,” she said into the receiver, holding it tightly against her ear. “Hello, how are you?”

  “Fine. Did the electrician come?”

  “He was here this afternoon.”

  “Any problems?”

  “No,” she breathed. He sounded wonderfully close, his voice warm and vibrant. “In fact, I was on the right track. I probably could’ve handled it myself.”

  “I don’t want you to even think about fixing anything like that. You could end up killing yourself or someone else. I absolutely forbid it.”

  “Aye, aye, sir.” His words had the immediate effect of igniting her temper, sending the hot blood roaring through her veins. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Reed since he’d left, but two minutes after picking up the phone, she was ready to argue with him again.

  There was a long, awkward silence. Reed was the first to speak, expelling his breath sharply. “I didn’t mean to snap your head off,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you,” she responded, instantly soothed.

  “How’s everything else going?”

  “Fine.”

  “Have the boys talked you into any more of their schemes?”

  “They keep trying.”

  “They wouldn’t be college kids if they didn’t.”

  “I know.” It piqued her a little that Reed assumed she could be manipulated by three teenagers. “Don’t worry about me. I can hold my own with these guys.”

  His low sensuous chuckle did funny things to her pulse. “It’s not you I’m concerned about.”

  “Just what are you implying?” she asked with mock seriousness.

  “I’m going to play this one smart and leave that last comment open-ended.”

  “Clever of you, my friend, very clever.”

  “I thought as much.”

  After a short pause, Ellen quickly asked, “How’s everything with you?” She knew there really wasn’t anything more to say, but she didn’t want the conversation to end. Talking to Reed was almost as good as having him there.

  “Much better, thanks. I shouldn’t have any problem getting home by Saturday.”

  “Good.”

  Another short silence followed.

  “Well, I guess that’s all I’ve got to say. If I’m going to be any later than Saturday, I’ll give you a call.”

  “Drive carefully.”

  “I will. Bye, Ellen.”

  “Goodbye, Reed.” Smiling, she replaced the receiver. When she glanced up, all three boys were staring at her, their arms crossed dramatically over their chests.

  “I think something’s going on here.” Pat spoke first. “I answered the phone and Reed asked for Ellen. He didn’t even ask for Derek—his own brother.”

  “Right.” Derek nodded vigorously.

  “I’m wondering,” Monte said, rubbing his chin. “Could we have the makings of a romance on our hands?”

  “I think we do,” Pat concurred.

  “Stop it.” Ellen did her best to join in the banter, although she felt the color flooding her cheeks. “It makes sense that Reed would want to talk to me. I’m the oldest.”

  “But I’m his brother,” Derek countered.

  “I refuse to listen to any of this,” she said with a small laugh and turned back to the kitchen. “You three are being ridiculous. Reed’s dating Danielle.”

  All three followed her. “He could have married Danielle months ago if he was really interested,” Derek informed the small gathering.

  “Be still, my beating heart,” Monte joked, melodramatically folding both hands over his chest and pretending to swoon.

  Not to be outdone, Pat rested the back of his hand against his forehead and rolled his eyes. “Ah, love.”

&
nbsp; “I’m out of here.” Before anyone could argue, Ellen ran up the back stairs to her room, laughing as she went. She had to admit she’d found the boys’ little performances quite funny. But if they pulled any of their pranks around Reed, it would be extremely embarrassing. Ellen resolved to say something to them when the time seemed appropriate.

  * * *

  Friday afternoon, Ellen walked into the kitchen, her book bag clutched tightly to her chest.

  “What’s the matter? You’re as pale as a ghost,” Monte remarked, cramming a chocolate-chip cookie in his mouth.

  Derek and Pat turned toward her, their faces revealing concern.

  “I got my algebra paper back today.”

  “And?” Derek prompted.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t looked.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I know how tough Engstrom was on the others. The girl who wrote about solving that oddball conjecture got a C-minus and the guy who was so enthusiastic about Mathematics in World War II got a D. With impressive subjects like that getting low grades, I’m doomed.”

  “But you worked hard on that paper.” Loyally, Derek defended her and placed a consoling arm around her shoulders. “You found out a whole bunch of interesting facts about the number nine.”

  “You did your paper on that?” Pat asked, his smooth brow wrinkling with amusement.

  “Don’t laugh.” She already felt enough of a fool.

  “It isn’t going to do any good to worry,” Monte insisted, pulling the folded assignment from between her fingers.

  Ellen watched his expression intently as he looked at the paper, then handed it to Derek who raised his brows and gave it to Pat.

  “Well?”

  “You got a B-minus,” Pat said in obvious surprise. “I don’t believe it.”

  “Me neither.” Ellen reveled in the delicious feeling of relief. She sank luxuriously into a chair. “I’m calling Charlie.” Almost immediately she jumped up again and dashed to the phone. “This is too exciting! I’m celebrating.”

  The other three had drifted into the living room and two minutes later, she joined them there. “Charlie’s out, but his roommate said he’d give him the message.” Too happy to contain her excitement, she added, “But I’m not sitting home alone. How about if we go out for pizza tonight? My treat.”