Boy Girl Games

by Stella Wilkinson

  “I told you she was my worst enemy and now she’s with you, in the evening? Did you have anything at all to do with her being there?”

  “Yes, but...”

  “But me no buts, Toby, you total butt-head!” Beth shouted and hung up the phone.

  Toby sighed, putting his phone back in his pocket, and wondered why he was more focused on what “but me no buts” actually meant than he was about Beth being angry with him. He really liked Beth, but they just weren’t gelling.

  “Are you alright?” Paige looked up and caught the odd expression on his face.

  “Yeah, that was just Beth.”

  Paige put her hand to her mouth. “Oh no, she’s furious that I’m here, right?”

  “A bit, yeah.” Toby grimaced.

  “I’m so sorry. I’m sure she’ll forgive you though.”

  Toby shrugged. “She’s never gotten mad before – she even called me a name, which is very unlike her. Oh well, she was too clever for me anyway.”

  “I can’t argue with you there.” Paige gave a teasing smile, which Toby thought was adorable, and he forgot all about Beth being angry with him as his heart sped up and his mouth quirked into a grin.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  ALL BETH’S ANGER AT herself bubbled over and she shouted at Toby. She could actually hear Paige talking and laughing with Toby’s family. She had told Toby how manipulative and fake Paige was, and yet he had still invited her to West Tower?

  She decided she simply couldn’t listen to his excuses in her current mood, so she simply rang off.

  She spent the next two days stewing on it. The anger was good, it was helpful. And though she hated to admit it, it was just the sort of spur she needed to make the break with Toby.

  There was no match that Saturday, so Beth asked Toby to meet her in the school games room.

  They sat together in a quiet corner, and he listened while she said they should break up. The funny thing was that he didn’t seem particularly upset, and she ended up telling him far more than she had intended to about her true feelings. Nothing about Matt, but that she felt she was stringing him along as a support. Instead of its being a drama that she had been dreading, they ended up hugging and agreeing to stay good friends. Beth wondered if it was the most amicable and bizarre break-up ever.

  She still felt annoyed, but now her annoyance had switched to Paige, the girl who used to be her best friend until she started hanging out with the mean girls and then totally dropped Beth when she couldn’t take the teasing anymore. Beth now understood why Paige had done what she did – she herself had almost done the same thing with Toby – but that didn’t make it right. Paige had chosen popularity over friendship, and Beth wanted to tell her how much it had hurt her.

  It was only when she found herself walking to South Tower that she became aware of the momentous change that had happened within herself. The old Beth would never have sought out a confrontation. Somehow over the past few months she had stopped being so anxious, so nervous and so scared. It had been gradual but now she felt strong.

  Paige wasn’t in South Tower, but someone told Beth where to find her.

  Beth stood outside the door of Kitchen Two and embraced the anger. It felt good. She wasn’t afraid any more. Then she raised her hand and knocked loudly before opening the door.

  Chapter Thirty-two

  PAIGE LOOKED SHOCKED when she saw who was at the door, but she put down the knife she had been using to cut brownies and beckoned Beth in. Beth hesitated on the threshold, but as she didn’t want to create a scene in the corridor she went inside. As soon as the door was closed Beth rounded on Paige.

  “I’m not staying. I just came to say that I’ve finished with Toby, so if you want him he’s all yours – you don’t have to play any games to steal him.”

  Paige shook her head. “I’m not trying to steal your boyfriend. You know me, Beth, I would never do that. I only went to West Tower on Thursday to see his sister about a cake she wanted.”

  Beth crossed her arms defensively across her chest. “I don’t know you, Paige. The girl I knew is gone. The girl I knew would never do nasty things like teasing and bullying someone or drop them as a friend when they couldn’t take it anymore. So yeah, I do think you would try to steal my boyfriend just to hurt me.”

  Paige looked confused. “I didn’t drop you, you dropped me. I know I changed but not that much. I really was there just to see his sister. I know you don’t want us to be friends anymore, but I would never try to destroy what you have with Toby. I only ever wanted you to be happy.”

  “Oh really? How happy do you think I was about all those dead worms inside my schoolbooks? Don’t worry, I got the joke, I get it that I’m a boring bookworm, but I didn’t find it all that funny, to be honest.”

  “You can’t be serious? Someone did that to you? But that’s awful!”

  Beth’s eyes narrowed. “Are you trying to say it wasn’t you? You were the one who always called me Bookworm.”

  “Yes I did, but with love, like a sisterly proud way of how well-read you were, that you could quote Chaucer and Shakespeare and that you were brilliant. I would never put dead worms in your bag. Why on earth would you think I would do something so mean?”

  “Well, because you had all these new friends, and they weren’t exactly nice girls, were they? They made my life a misery. I endured months of it and stuck by you because I thought you were going through a tough time and would come out the other side. But in the end I couldn’t take it anymore and stayed away from them, I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t hear it, you defended them. You chose them.”

  “Now, hang on. That’s not true. You’ve known me all my life, Beth, you didn’t serious think I would do that, did you?”

  “No, I didn’t used to, but let’s face it, Paige, after your illness you changed. You were suddenly all about school clubs and the school dance and other lame stuff, and I could either get on board or get lost. That was how it seemed anyway. I wanted to be a good friend to you, and I felt guilty all the time that I couldn’t keep up when it was clearly so important to you all of a sudden, but being around those awful girls was making me so unhappy and yet it seemed to make you happier, so when you chose them over me I accepted it.”

  Paige shook her head again and reached out, touching Beth on the arm. “But I tried to see you, after you moved to North Tower. But the House Mistress wouldn’t let me. She said you were having panic attacks and suffering from depression and I should give you some space. She said your mum had told her you would completely move schools if I didn’t leave you alone.”

  “What? My mum said that? I didn’t know.” Beth closed her eyes briefly, trying to come to terms with this new information. “I thought you just ditched me – you were being all super fantastic and I was the boring bookworm girl who couldn’t match up to you. That’s what the girls said, and I thought you felt the same.”

  “I’m so sorry those bullies made you feel that way. I had no idea; I just knew that I had made you do all that social stuff with me until it made you ill. I felt bad about it and then you didn’t want to share a room with me anymore, so I tried to respect that and leave you alone, but I missed you all the time. You were the only real friend I had.”

  Beth leaned back against the wall, barely feeling able to stand up. “I thought you were ignoring me. I missed you too and I was so unhappy. You’d nearly died and I hadn’t been strong enough to be there for you because I couldn’t handle those girls. The guilt of that has been eating at me for years.”

  “And I’ve felt guilty for years that I pushed you into joining that stupid committee. It was like you hated me.”

  “I did hate you, but it was all a misunderstanding. Can you forgive me?” Beth had tears in her eyes.

  Paige squeezed Beth’s arm tightly. “Only if you can forgive me.”

  “So we’re friends again, not worst enemies anymore?”

  “Seriously? I was your worst enemy? Why?”

  “B
ecause you used to be my best friend and I thought you dropped me, and then you seemed so happy about it. Skipping about and being all charming to everyone but me. You changed into someone else; it didn’t seem normal behaviour. I thought you had become cold and hard and everyone was fooled into thinking you were all pretty and sweet.”

  Paige sighed. “Funnily enough, I know exactly what you are saying. The truth is, Beth, that I still feel like I have to live harder and harder. I’m like a broken toy, unstoppable until the battery completely runs out. I can’t seem to let myself slow down in case life gets snatched away and I don’t live long enough to do everything. I allow myself a few seconds to feel the fear and then I pump up the smile again and channel Snow White.”

  “Snow White?” Beth giggled.

  “Yeah,” Paige gave an embarrassed smile, “when I feel scared I cook and I sing, and I envisage all these animals keeping me company and singing along, like in Snow White.”

  “So this always being super-girl? It’s just an act? That person that everyone loves isn’t actually really you?”

  Paige nodded. “I’ve been telling myself for years that if I keep smiling and acting happy then one day I’ll forget it’s just pretend and I’ll actually be happy. But you were the only true friend I had. None of the others know the real me, and so despite being in the middle of everything I was... I was so lonely, Beth!” Paige’s voice wobbled and her eyes welled up.

  She swiped the tears away and plastered her smile back on. “But it’s not all doom and gloom, I do genuinely love to cook. That’s my happy place.”

  “Paige, you don’t need to pretend to be happy in front of me. I’m sorry I didn’t see it was all an act and that I was such a bad friend, but I’m here for you now.”

  Beth put her arms around Paige and hugged her tightly.

  Paige stood for a moment giving Beth a friendly hug back and then she suddenly sagged and the floodgates opened. She cried on her old friend’s shoulder until she had no tears left. She cried for Beth’s lost friendship and she cried for herself, and the way her experience had affected her. Beth began to cry as well and soon they were laughing as they wiped away each other’s tears.

  “Come and sit over here,” Paige said at last when they had both hiccupped themselves back to normal. “I’ve just made these really rich chocolate brownies, and I think we could both use some.”

  Two minutes later Beth was nibbling a brownie and watching Paige tidy up around her. She sighed with contentment.

  “Listen, if you do like Toby you should go for it, I really wouldn’t be bothered in the slightest. I know that sounds awful to Toby, and I really do like him, but only as a friend; and now that you and I are friends again I would be more than happy to see the two of you together.”

  “No way. I’m not going to do a single thing that might jeopardise my friendship with you. It’s too important, much more important than any boy.”

  “Aha! So you do like him. You didn’t deny it.” Beth raised her eyebrows teasingly.

  Paige flushed. “Oh, well, I suppose he’s quite good-looking. But he’s your boyfriend.”

  “Ex-boyfriend. I broke up with him this morning, remember?”

  “Yes, but only because of me. You have to get back together or I’ll be devastated that I caused this.”

  “Actually you didn’t. I have a bit of a confession to make. I’ve been kind of looking for a reason to break up with Toby anyway, and using you plus hopefully making you feel guilty about it was a good way of killing two birds with one stone.”

  “What? Why?” Paige put away the last baking tray and sat down at the table opposite Beth.

  “Because of Matthew Lake. The new American guy in East Tower. I met him just after he moved here, and fell for him instantly. It was because of Matt that I took up football this term. He plays and I just wanted to be near him. So I forced myself to conquer my social anxiety and get out there, and surprisingly it really helped. I felt better than I had in a long time and discovered that not only did I love football, actually I wasn’t bad at it. I felt great, and then Toby asked me out and I was incredibly flattered. I’d never had a boy interested in me before, and Toby is definitely handsome. Also Matt wasn’t paying any attention to me so I thought why not? But it never really worked because I couldn’t shake how I felt about Matt – how I still feel about Matt – and I won’t ever get a chance with him if I stay with Toby.”

  “Well, then I’m glad you broke up with Toby, for your sake. But it’s still a no for me.”

  Two hours later Beth reeled back to North Tower feeling like her whole world was topsy-turvy. Her entire falling out with Paige had been a misunderstanding. It had been her own mother who had said Paige should stay away from her. How had she not thought of that? It was exactly the kind of thing her mother would do. And all that time when she had desperately missed her friend, and been suffering in other ways too, Paige had been desperately missing her!

  The two of them had promised never again to doubt each other; but so much time had passed that Beth knew that she and Paige had some serious bridges to build between them.

  But Beth was okay with that. She was single now and glad of it. She didn’t need a boyfriend in her life, she needed her best friend. That was the relationship she wanted to work on, that was the relationship that would make her whole again.

  Her mouth quirked as she remembered Paige begging her to get back together with Toby. But now that she was friends with Paige again, she was very relieved that she had broken up with him. The really funny thing was that she was convinced that Paige and Toby did secretly like each other, and she also had an inkling that they might just be perfect together.

  And as for her and Matt – she already knew they were perfect for each other, and being single was one step closer to being with him, but she didn’t know if she ever would be. Could she take her new-found confidence and just ask him?

  Chapter Thirty-three

  BY MONDAY MORNING BETH had lost her nerve again. She should have known her burst of confidence was too good to last. She tried to console herself that life was good just as it was. She had Paige back in her corner, and she did now feel confident enough to cope at school without Toby being her safe harbour. She still had football too. Toby had assured her that her place on the team was secure on her own merit regardless of their break-up.

  But Special Ed class was the first time she and Matt had been semi-private all week, and she felt suddenly shy in his company.

  Usually they avoided conversations about Marianne or Toby, so Beth had no idea how to casually mention that she and Toby had broken up. She really did want to tell Matt, just so that he would know she was available, all on the off chance that he and Marianne might break up one day and he might decide he wanted more than friendship from Beth.

  She tried to find a good moment in conversation but it never came. Instead she returned to being an idiot, losing her thread every time their knees touched. It seemed that now she wasn’t with Toby she could actually allow herself to obsess about Matt again, and it had messed with her brain.

  She felt frustrated as their time alone came to an end before she was ready. But at least they were friends, and she could console herself with that.

  Which was why that lunchtime Beth took the momentous decision to go and talk to Matt. He was sitting as usual at the East Tower table. Marianne and Emma were there, as well as several others that Beth now felt able to say “Hi” to when she passed them. In fact half the team seemed to be from East Tower House.

  Beth ate her lunch slowly, putting off going over, but determined to do so.

  Wendy elbowed her. “If you keep staring at him so hard you’re gonna burn a hole in the back of his neck,” she said in a low voice.

  “Oh no, was I being obvious?” Beth dropped her eyes quickly.

  “Yes, and I’m not the only one to notice.” Wendy jerked her head at the other table. “That Marianne has got her ‘Don’t you dare’ face on. So you definitely should
go over, even if it’s just to annoy her.”

  Beth gave a small smile and shook her head. “Maybe it was a dumb idea. I just thought it would be a gesture, you know?”

  Toby appeared carrying his lunch tray and then stopped as if unsure where to sit. He’d been having his lunch at the North Tower table for a while now to be with Beth, despite the fact that he was in West Tower. But now he was looking between the two tables and clearly debating what to do. In the end he gave Beth a smile to show it wasn’t personal and then solved the problem by sitting with his team mates at the East Tower table.

  “Well, I can’t go over there now,” Beth sighed; “it will look like I’m chasing Toby.”

  Wendy nodded in agreement. “Yes, it will. But if you don’t go then you’ve let Marianne win this one.”

  “What does that matter?” Beth’s voice was heavy. “She’s already won, she’s got Matt.”

  “Really? Then why is she laying it on thick with Toby?” Wendy said.

  Beth’s eyes shot back up and over to the other table. Marianne was indeed giving all her attention to Toby. She had one hand wrapped around his wrist as though to keep him from running away, and she was definitely batting her eyelashes in a very flirtatious manner.

  Beth looked at Matt to see if he was upset, but she found that he was looking straight back at her. The look in his eyes was one of pity, and Beth realised that he must think she was upset that Marianne was talking to Toby.

  “Oh, great,” she growled at Wendy, “he thinks that Toby broke up with me! And he feels sorry for me. If I talk to him now he’ll probably think I’m trying to make Toby jealous or something – this is a disaster.”

  It was at that moment that Toby got a call on his phone, and waving goodbye to everyone he went outside.

  “Go now,” Wendy urged, “then it won’t seem that way.”

  Beth found herself on her feet and moving towards Matt before she could reconsider.