Deliverance

by Véronique Launier

  Her mother excused herself and came back with warm milk and tea. She also set up a tray with some sesame seed and honey sweets, some mixed nuts, and a bowl of fruit and small cucumbers. When an older man entered the room followed by Nakissa’s little brother, Nakissa’s mother tried to shoo them away, but Ebi was happy to see me. I stood up and introduced myself to Nakissa’s step-father.

  The man, Bijan, eyed me warily. He let out a heavy sigh and was about to drop onto the seat opposite the couch when he noticed Nakissa. Worry etched deep lines into his gentle face and he stepped towards her.

  “What’s happened?” he demanded.

  “She rescued this boy from a bad sort.” I was impressed by how truthful the woman was to her husband, yet without opening him to things he was obviously not ready to believe. “He’s a visitor here and we should extend him our hospitality. Could you and Ebi go to his hotel and pick up his things?”

  Bijan furrowed his eyebrows with a quizzical look in his eyes but he did not challenge his wife. I gave him my key and the boys excused themselves, Ebi rather reluctantly. I assured him we would get time to hangout later.

  “Maman, I need to talk to Garnier.”

  “I wish you would talk to me.”

  “Maman, please?”

  “I’ll start making dinner. Might as well show off how good my ghormeh sabzi is.” She gave her daughter a long look before leaving the room.

  Nakissa reached for her warm milk and held it tightly between her hands. She looked cold. I took my jacket off and placed it on her shoulder.

  “Pareen wasn’t happy,” she said.

  I sat next to her, but didn’t dare touch her. I was an eight hundred year old supernatural creature, yet I was scared of the wrath of an Iranian mother.

  “She wasn’t happy to help me?”

  “She wasn’t happy to be summoned. Apparently this sort of a ritual leaves us both vulnerable. I had to compel her to help me. But when I finally did…” Nakissa looked at her hands and then to her feet. She settled herself deeper into the couch and wrapped her arms tighter against her knees. She looked at me. “She’s giving more than I can take.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She will make me into a Gargoyle again.”

  A lightness overcame my heart. Nakissa would be one of us again. Female Gargoyles were rare simply because they were made to be protector mostly during a time when women were not seen as having any values in that aspect. But this was about more than just being about a girl of my own kind. It was about this girl. My girl. She would stay mine. Her eyes were serious, her mouth set in a line. I knew there was more to it. Something I was ignoring. I couldn’t help it; I reached for her hands and smiled.

  She didn’t let me keep them for long before she withdrew them and looked me in the eye. Hers were red, and a pair of lonely tears shimmered on her cheek. “I can’t accept her sacrifice.”

  My chest became heavier. Because to make a Gargoyle, a sacrifice had to be made. “You forced Pareen to offer to sacrifice herself?”

  “No… Yes! I don’t know. I just compelled her to help me. She said the only way she could help me was to offer herself as a sacrifice. There has to be another way. There has to be.”

  “Let’s think about it. If you were stronger could you take Ramtin on?”

  “No, he’s always been just a little stronger than me. He has more resources. He has followers and witches, and Jinn.”

  “But you have some power now, and Pareen is very powerful. Isn’t there a possibility it would make you equal?”

  “Maybe but –“

  “And my family is on the way to help save Aude. We now know Leyli’s family has mystical powers. There’s Deleer…”

  “Deleer?”

  “A Gargoyle dog.”

  “Oh. Of course.”

  She placed her head between her hands. “I just don’t know. I don’t know if this is something she even offered me of her own will. Do I have the right to take her life?”

  “We don’t have to make a decision right away. What you need right now is sleep. We can decide in the morning.”

  Was Nakissa strong enough that she could have summoned a Queen Jinn and compelled her to offer herself as a sacrifice? Pareen had always been on our side. Was it so unbelievable that she would have offered herself? But even if she hadn’t, her death could mean life for countless people. Surely it would be worth it. I could sit comfortably with the idea. I knew what it was like to have someone lose their life to make you. Nakissa knew it too. We’d both been through it already. But Pareen had been alive for millennia; surely her time had to end eventually. Or would we be ridding the world of a timeless treasure?

  We sat in silence until Bijan and Ebi came back and Nakissa’s mother called us for dinner.

  Her ghormeh sabzi was in fact delicious. But the beef chunks and red kidney beans in a green herb sauce didn’t hold the answers to our dilemmas no matter how often we pushed them around our plates. Bijan asked questions about life in Montreal and how I liked Iran so far. I tried to keep up with the casual conversation but I couldn’t focus. I could only think of Pareen, and how her death could mean the answer to most of our problems. I had never wished for someone to be dead like I did then. And the thought turned my stomach.

  Once I managed to tune back into the conversation it came to my attention that it was the beginning of the Persian New Year and the family were trying to coordinate all of the visiting they would be doing within the next week. I was surprised they were including me in their plans.

  “Should we say he is simply a visitor or that he is Nakissa’s fiancé?” Her mother asked her husband.

  Nakissa choked on her food. The way we felt about each other hadn’t gone unnoticed but her parents had still accepted me into their home. I smiled and Nakissa furrowed her brows at me.

  I cleared my throat. “You have been very generous but my family is coming in to Tehran tomorrow. It would be best if I stayed with them.”

  “Of course, of course. But are you sure you will be safe?”

  “As safe as I can be, khanom.”

  “You and your family will visit us to celebrate the holiday?”

  I smiled at her. Hopefully if we were still around for Nowruz, it would mean we’d been successful.

  We finished dinner talking in a combination of Persian and English and I suddenly missed my own family very much. I missed the interaction I saw between Nakissa and her family. No matter how hospitable they were with me, we just didn’t have that history that kept them talking and laughing. Color returned to Nakissa’s cheeks. She looked more alive. When she had given up immortality to save her life, she had found so much more.

  Was taking her humanity from her again the right answer? She could keep this relationship with her parents for a while and her mother was open to the supernatural; she would accept it even once it became obvious Nakissa wouldn’t age. I wasn’t asking her to give up anything. Just to be with me forever. My eyes met hers. Her cheeks colored even more and she looked to her plate. My heart lightened. I loved this girl in a way I could never have loved her previous incarnation.

  I sighed happily and Nakissa’s mother beamed a smile at me obviously thinking my satisfaction was derived from her food. And it could well have been. I was satisfied in many ways. I would convince Nakissa that Pareen’s sacrifice was the right thing to do. We would defeat Ramtin. We would live together. Forever.

  We stood by the glass window near the arrivals and as soon as the family came into sight, my heart dropped at Guillaume’s state. He looked like he’d lost at least ten pounds. He was pale, listless. In fact, he looked a lot like Nakissa did after her summoning, but I knew Guillaume’s pain lay elsewhere. After a quick look to make sure no one was paying us any attention, I gave Nakissa’s hand a quick squeeze. I was glad she’d come with me.

  I greeted Antoine, Guillaume, and old man Robert by hugging them and I bowed my head to Kateri as was appropriate here. Nakissa, who wasn’t as worried abo
ut acting appropriately, gave everyone a quick handshake.

  “She really seemed okay when you saw her?’ Guillaume asked me the moment introductions were over.

  “I told you, she wasn’t really herself. But, she was otherwise unharmed. I think we can get your Aude back.”

  He nodded with red rimmed eyes.

  “We can discuss our plan at the hotel. This isn’t the best place. We squeezed our four visitors in the backseat of my car, and ignored the “fastening the seat belt is mandatory” signs along the expressway. Ignoring road rules, I was fitting in more and more to the Tehran lifestyle.

  Nakissa explained different landmarks in heavily accented English and we automatically turned our heads this way and that to follow her narrative, but in reality we were all lost in thoughts of what would come next. All nervous.

  “Nakissa and I have a plan.” I looked at them through the rear view mirror to make sure they were paying attention.

  “We have a way to turn me back,” Nakissa said.

  “Turn you back? Back where?” Antoine asked.

  Her features momentarily turned down into a small frown. “I’m sorry. I thought Garnier had filled you in about me.”

  “Apparently Garnier was a little too busy to fill us in on the details,” Guillaume answered.

  “Guillaume,” Antoine warned.

  “We thought he was here to protect Aude from Ramtin, not to flirt and find himself a girlfriend. I’m interested to know what he’s told this girl about us. Aren’t you? Does she even understand what she’s dealing with?”

  “Enough,” I said.

  Nakissa laughed and I knew that laugh came from the part of her soul that had been around for over a millennium. It came from Nagissa.

  “Of course I know what you are. But you, on the other hand, have no idea. You’re all newborns. You don’t even know how to control your own essence. It’s very cute that you rely on witches. Cute, but inefficient.”

  “What are you?” Guillaume asked.

  “What I was and what I will be are different from what I am now.” She paused. “When I was made, sometime in the fifth century, Gargoyles were made with the pure essence of Jinn. The kings from the Book of Kings lived for centuries sometimes. Why do you think that is? They were Gargoyles. Though they lived much more dangerous lives and did not survive as long as their court musicians.”

  “You’re not a Gargoyle,” Guillaume said.

  “No, not anymore, and that brings us back to our plan. We have a Jinni willing to sacrifice herself.”

  “Wait. There is a way to be human again?” Guillaume now leaned forward in his seat, attentively listening to Nakissa. Of course he would want to be human. Wouldn’t that just suit broody Guillaume so much? I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. Couldn’t he understand just once that other people suffer too? Other people love and lose.

  “Yes, but you have to die and be reborn.”

  “Nakissa’s solution to becoming human was a desperate and courageous act to stay alive. It will not help you live a normal life with Aude.”

  He shrugged. “It was worth asking. You wouldn’t understand, Garnier. With Aude missing it’s made it all so much more real. After everything we’ve been through, the thought that I will have to lose her one day, and it will be forever… Well, it’s just too much.”

  “Not right now, Guillaume. You can feel sorry for yourself later. Now we talk about stopping Ramtin.” I turned to Nakissa for support but she didn’t look back to me. She stared out of the window, deep in thought. The sight of her like this put a pain in my heart, though I didn’t know exactly why.

  The garden in the Jinn compound is beautiful, and the statue I’m sitting beside is even more gorgeous. This majestic creature that is part eagle and part lion was to be my new stone form. I stroke the cold statue and am a little relieved at the decision I made earlier today.

  It had been bothering me since the ride back from the airport, but listening to the story of Aude and Guillaume, I knew I had to do this. Now, all I have to do is to tell Garnier.

  I know much of the story now, and the heartbreak he’s suffered with Marguerite and the last thing I want to give him is more suffering so I hope he understands. He has to understand that to make any other decision is to go back to who Nagissa was.

  I see him in the distance. His dark blue jeans and untucked light pink dress shirt fit him perfectly. His hands are in his pockets but he walks quickly towards me. He’s amazing.

  Once the distance between us is closed, he takes me in his arms. They feel so strong and warm. This is where I belong. I wrap my own arms around his neck and put my lips to his. He smells so good and feels so good. I wish I had the time to stay like this forever.

  We could be together forever.

  I waste another moment like this. Regretting my decision, yet unable to unmake it. It is not our time yet. I pull away.

  He places his hand on the statue’s head. “Is this the form you will take?”

  I bite my lip and shake my head. “No. I need to talk to you.”

  He sits on the nearby stone bench and motions for me to join him. I don’t, but I watch him. I hope he can see how much I don’t want to hurt him.

  “We have to save Aude first.”

  “It would be easier to save her if you were in Gargoyle form.”

  “Maybe… or maybe not. I’ve been thinking about our plan and I think what we really need to defeat Ramtin is the element of surprise. If we save Aude first and I can use my own powers to train her how to use her really unique essence combination… and…” I look at my feet.

  “And?”

  “It makes more sense to change her.”

  He doesn’t answer. “Garnier?”

  “I thought maybe you were having doubts about taking Pareen’s life. I thought maybe you wanted to wait a few years before becoming one of us again. But that’s not it? You want to give this to Aude.”

  He leans in, his forearms resting on his knees, his hands clasped together. The ground in front of his feet has all of his attention. “This is about Guillaume taking something from me again,” he whispers.

  I take his hands in mine and he looks up to me.

  “He’s not taking anything,” I say.

  “Did he ask you to do this?”

  “No. Of course not.” I sit next to him. “Aude has less power than me as far as spiritual essence is concerned, but she has something else. Her native heritage allows her to manipulate natural essence too. This combination as a Gargoyle will be much more powerful. Maybe even more powerful than Ramtin. This can give us the advantage.”

  “But we still have to rescue Aude.”

  “I have my power back and I’ve learned a thing or two over the past millennium. With Kateri’s help, I can handle it.”

  “Kateri?”

  “Shaman magic. I’ve encountered it before; I know a thing or two about it. I can help her and she can help me in turn.”

  “So that’s it. You’re going to leave me out of it and take off on your own to rescue Aude. Rescue her then give her the gift of immortality and leave me.”

  “Maybe we can still find a way for me. We know it’s possible. Maybe there will be a new opportunity for me to go back to how I was. But not now.”

  I look at him until his eyes meet mine. “I feel it with everything inside of me. Now is not my time.”

  “What about what I want? I need you.”

  I pause. No one has ever needed me before. But isn’t this why I have to do this? Because for the first time, many people need me. Aude is the better choice. She is the weaker witch but would be the stronger Gargoyle.

  “You have me, Garnier. You have me as I am now, and this is who you could really fall for. When I was a Gargoyle, you were never able to get through to me the way you do now. This is better for us, too. I want to stay Nakissa. I can’t lose myself and return to her.”

  “It wouldn’t be like that. You’d still be you.”

  “But in a way
it would be. Garnier, please understand. This is the best decision for everyone. You are strong. Much stronger than Guillaume. Guillaume and Aude need this.”

  “I am not that strong.”

  I put my arms around him and smile a sad smile to myself. This weakness is exactly what makes him stronger than anyone I know.

  “I’m not strong. I lose everyone I love. I lost you before, and I’ll lose you again. I can’t take any more loss. Not so soon after Vincent.”

  “Shhh. You’re not losing me.”

  “You don’t know that. You plan to take on Ramtin with no one’s help but a young shaman girl who doesn’t know her powers. Vincent was fighting with better odds. He had us with him. He had the shamans with him. And still the stone monster killed him. Please. Don’t let me lose you.” He started to shake and I just held on to him tighter.

  I wouldn’t leave him. Not for a long time.

  I’d feel better about this plan if Kateri wasn’t looking at me so dubiously. “Try it,” I tell her.

  She closes her eyes and starts humming to herself. At first, nothing happens. “Don’t give up,” I tell her. “Open up your heart to the energy of the elements. Of the earth beneath your feet.”

  Her chanting becomes louder and louder. Though the essence of nature is connected to that of the soul, it is not something I, myself, am connected to. Still, as her chanting grows louder I swear I can feel it.

  She stops and looks at me with her eyes wide.

  “See, you could feel it, couldn’t you?”

  She nods.

  I dig in my pocket and pull out a page I ripped out from an old book about mystical invocations. It hadn’t been hard to find but it would have been useless for someone like me. “We will make a spell.”

  “A spell?”

  I nod. “Yes, it is a very old thing.”

  “But I’ve never done my magic with spells before.”

  “The spell does not change your magic, it just helps it focus. You could figure out how to do the same thing without it, but it would take a lot more essence and a lot of time to figure it out.”