Unsteady (The Torqued Trilogy Book 1)

by Shey Stahl

  Then she walks out.

  And I don’t follow her. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’m confused as to what happened and it takes me a moment to react.

  I don’t know where this girl came from, or what she’s running from, but I don’t want her running from me.

  By the time I get outside, Lenny’s pulling out of the parking lot.

  “Damn it,” I curse, kicking at the gravel.

  It’s nearing one in the morning by the time I get to the house and thankfully, my adrenaline and hard-on is gone. Only problem is I’m exhausted. I wish it was Friday already.

  As I enter the house, I’m careful to deactivate the alarm so it doesn’t wake Nova or Raven, who’s probably sleeping on the couch. After Nevaeh was murdered, I installed an alarm in the house and motion detectors around the perimeter of house. Most of the time the motion detectors are set off by animals but other than that, I hadn’t had any problems since then.

  I’m surprised to see Raven on the couch and Nova on the floor curled up on the rug with my blanket off my bed.

  Raven drops her phone in her lap and looks up at me. “Jesus dude, I thought you’d be home a while ago.”

  “Sorry, thanks for staying. I thought you’d be asleep.”

  “I was… but Rawley was texting me.”

  “And where was he today?”

  “Drunk… where else.”

  Careful not to wake Nova, I sit next to Raven. “Fucker.”

  She adjusts her pillow on the couch like she’s getting ready to sleep and stares at the television. I groan quietly when I realize what she’s watching. “Why the hell would anyone willingly want to be on a show where you’re naked and scared?”

  Raven gets me and says, “Right? These people are like attention whores. It’s like a bad car accident. I can’t look away from it.” And then she’s reminded of why I was so late. “Did you get the engine in for that lady? I felt so bad for her and her kids to have that happen right after her husband died.”

  I run my fingers through my hair. “Yeah, we got it done. I’m not charging her for labor. She’s been through enough.”

  Raven fluffs her pillow and pulls her blanket over her shoulders. “Careful there, word on the street is gonna get out that you’re actually a nice guy.”

  I snort, leaning forward to rest my elbows on my knees and stare down at my sleeping daughter. Fuck, she looks so damn innocent with her wild curls everywhere.

  “Everything okay?” Raven asks, sensing there’s something wrong.

  “Yeah.”

  She slaps my shoulder. “Don’t lie to me. I’m not a little girl anymore. I’ll be twenty in eight fucking days. Talk to me.”

  I don’t know why, but I do. I fucking spill my guts because who else do I have to talk to right now? Nova’s sleeping and the last thing I want to tell her is that I kissed Lenny. She’d want me to go pick out rings tomorrow if that were the case. “I kissed Lenny.”

  “What?” she yells, causing Nova to jump in her sleep and then roll over. Raven slaps her hand to her mouth, and then mouths sorry to me.

  Both of us remain frozen for a minute to see if Nova’s gonna wake up.

  “Holy shit,” Raven whispers. “You really kissed her?”

  I nod, unable to keep the smirk from forming.

  Raven grabs the remote and throws it at me, smacking me in the ear. “Oww! What the fuck did you do that for?”

  “When did you kiss her?”

  “Tonight.”

  She picks the fucking remote up again and nails me with it. I grab it and toss in onto the other couch across the room. “Stop that.”

  “Why did you kiss her?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. Seemed like the thing to do. We were leaving and then I bumped into her and it went from there.”

  She giggles quietly covering her mouth with her hand. “And you didn’t finish?”

  “No… she stopped us. Said I was her boss and it was a bad idea.”

  Raven sighs and I glance over my shoulder at her. “I can see why she’d say that.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, Red.” She moves, tucking her legs up under her and moving to face me completely. “Look at the position she’s in now. She needs a job, for reasons we don’t really know, and she’s a woman in a male-dominated business. The last thing she needs is the reputation she sleeps with her boss to get ahead.”

  Well, I initially thought that when I first saw her. I guess I’m no different, and I understand why she would think that. But I don’t see her that way anymore. “That’s ridiculous. She’s a great mechanic. One of the best I’ve ever seen and I love that she doesn’t give a shit what people think.”

  Raven reaches for her water on the end table beside the couch, takes a slow drink and then looks back at me. “I think she cares more than she lets on. There’s more to her than she leads us to believe, a sadness almost. Like at the party the other night. She left because she thought it was a family thing. I can’t convince her we’re here for her. She’s a great person. I just think she might be in over her head with something she’s not willing to share with us.”

  I nod. “I get that feeling too. I called her old boss and he was weird about the whole thing. Wouldn’t tell me much other than she was the best mechanic he had and he was sorry to see her leave.”

  “Did he say why she left?”

  “Nope. Danced around my questions a lot.”

  “And Tyler didn’t say anything?” she asks, keeping her eyes on the flickering of the television as two people run buck-ass naked through the woods.

  “Not really. I’ve pressed for details a few times but he’s not saying much.” I shake my head and let it fall in my hands. This isn’t the kind of crap I wanted to deal with right now. Yeah, she’s helping me out at the shop, but this thing where I care, I told myself I wouldn’t and now fucking look at me, trying to figure her out. It’s exactly what I wanted to stay away from.

  “What are you going to do?”

  My hands drop from my face and I flop myself back on the couch. “There’s not a lot I can do. She needs to come to me.” In more ways than one. I mean, it’s not like I can force her into anything, but it’s questionable how she’ll react tomorrow. I made it pretty clear what I wanted. Her, right then and there on a dirty bench.

  Turning, I pat Raven on the top of the head. “Get some sleep.”

  “Are you going to move her?” she asks, looking down at Nova who’s now sprawled out with her arms and legs like she’s making a snow angel.

  “Yeah, she hates sleeping on the floor.” Kneeling down, I try to gather her up without waking her but it’s impossible. The moment I touch the kid, her eyes pop open.

  She blinks, rubbing her eyes and then stares at me. “Daddy, where were you?”

  “I got stuck at the shop.”

  “I missed you.” She wraps her arms around my shoulder resting her head on my chest. Her hair’s in my face but I manage to make it down the hall to her room. “You weren’t here to tuck me in.”

  “I’m sorry, darlin’,” I whisper, kissing her forehead when I lay her in the bed.

  She snuggles up to her pillow letting her eyes drift shut. “Were you with Lenny?”

  My goddamn cheeks flush, the heat rising in my face as I smooth her curls away from her face. “Yes. We had a big job that needed to get done tonight.”

  Turning my head, Nevaeh’s picture on her nightstand catches my eyes. Nova looks so much like her mother. Those wild curls was one of the things I loved most about Nevaeh. She had beautiful curly hair that was as free as she was.

  I feel guilty when I see that photograph, and I know I’m doing the best I can for the two of us, but still, it doesn’t take the hurt away or make this any easier for me. I’m not sure why there’s any guilt, but there is now for kissing Lenny. It’s not like I cheated on Nevaeh.

  How can I have feelings for someone else when I haven’t gotten justice for my wife? That feels like cheating t
o me.

  Needing to be alone in my thoughts and misery, I find myself in the shower late at night. Unfortunately, while my brain is a million miles an hour tonight, my dick is still unsatisfied and thinking about Lenny and her legs wrapped around my waist.

  I wrap my hand around my dick and squeeze. Life pumps through it, my needy ache becoming known. I stroke it, thinking about how wrong it is to want Lenny this way, and how strange it is to imagine another woman other than my wife.

  Regardless, I just need release. I need to purge these thoughts from my body, like a sickness that won’t go away until the fever breaks and the poisons out.

  I don’t know when it happened, maybe when she walked inside my shop for the first time, but somehow, Lenny has become someone I can’t fucking let go of. Hell, I can’t go one night without jacking off in the shower thinking of her.

  What the hell was I thinking kissing him? I mean, honestly, how stupid can I be? Ugh. So dumb. I don’t know why I’m so surprised. If I’m being honest with myself I was born because of a bad decision and it seems that curse has been following me around ever since.

  I’m moving slowly this morning but I know without a doubt, I can’t be late for work. Especially after stopping him from going any further last night. Forcing Red to stop was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My body ignited in flames at his touch and I can only imagine what else he could have done to me had he been given the chance.

  I shouldn’t have stopped him.

  A ringing echoes through the apartment and I stop and look around. It sounds like a telephone but truthfully, I didn’t think Tyler had a home phone. I’ve never heard it ring and have no idea where it’s located.

  I follow the ringing and finally find it in his bedroom.

  Nothing could have prepared me for the voice on the other end. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Lennon.” My heart stops at the sound of the voice on the other line. I can’t… how did he get this number?

  “Ben…” A suffocating sensation threatens to swallow me. Heat rushes through me. The kind of heat that makes me panic and think I’m burning alive in fear. It starts as a pain in my chest, quick and sudden and then spreads like wild fire through my entire body as the fear takes over.

  “Thought you could get away from me, didn’t you? Thought you could hide from me, didn’t you?”

  I swallow back the bile rising. “How did you get this number?”

  He laughs, the sound gritty and raw like he’s been smoking all day. “Ah, don’t worry about that. Just know, I’ll always find you and I keep my fucking promises.” And then the line goes dead.

  After Ben hangs up, I remain in the middle of Tyler’s room staring at the phone in my hand. This can’t be happening. How could he have found me? When I left Oklahoma, I made sure to not tell anyone where I was headed. Hell, I don’t even have anyone to tell if I wanted to. I even made sure not to give any indication to Eric when I called to quit as to where I was heading.

  Shit. I want to be pissed, but I’m too shaken to be anything but scared. I need to talk to someone but who?

  Raven.

  Raven wants me as a friend. I can talk to her, right?

  Without thinking, I drop the phone on Tyler’s bed and rush out of the apartment and down to the office.

  How in the hell did he find me? I’m completely at a loss. I even threw away my cellphone in Colorado so he couldn’t track me through the GPS.

  When I’m downstairs, I walk quickly into the office. I just hope Raven is here because I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t talk to someone about this.

  Only Raven’s not in there yet but Mia is and I want so badly to say something to her. In some ways, she’s the closet thing I’ve had to a mother figure in years, but I can’t take the look of disappointment I’m sure Mia would give me knowing my situation.

  “Hey, Lenny.” Mia greets me with a warm smile, her morning coffee in hand. “Everything okay, hon?”

  I nod, resting my hands on the edge of the counter in front of me, and I glance around the office. “Yep. Is Raven here yet?”

  “No, not yet. She was running late this morning. Should be here any minute.”

  My eyes wander to the picture on her desk of Nova, and who I think is Lyric, Red’s dad. He has to be. Red looks just like him. It’s also clear, looking at the photo, Nova is special to a lot of people.

  I want to groan at my internal realization. The very last thing I need is to bring this family into my bullshit. My only option right now is Tyler.

  “Okay.” I wave my hand around. “I’ll catch up with her later.”

  I walk out of the office and look around hoping to spot Tyler. He’s standing in his stall with his arms up and hands locked around the back of his neck staring at the car in front of him.

  I grab him by the arm and start dragging him toward the parts room.

  “What the hell, Lenny?” He yanks his arm out of my grasp.

  I don’t turn around and keep walking knowing he will follow me.

  When we get into the parts room, I close the door and lean again it taking a deep breath. “Ben called.” My breath expels with the words, and I want to feel better after telling him that, but it doesn’t get easier. The knot in my throat remains, the burning in my stomach bubbling.

  “Wait, what? What do you mean he called?” Tyler runs his hand through his hair and looks at me, I can’t help but notice something seems off with him.

  Tyler places both hands on my shoulders, his eyes dilated more than what I’ve ever seen before. “You need to go to the sheriff.”

  “I know I should, and I will but I’m just so damned freaked out right now. He’s pissed and saying all kinds of shit like he’s going to find me. I’m scared, Tyler. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

  He blinks, shaking his head and when he looks at me, I can tell that something is different about him. “No.”

  “No? What do you mean no?” I’m not understanding what he is trying to say to me.

  “No.”

  Now I’m getting pissed. What the hell is wrong with him?

  “Shit, Tyler. This is serious. Could you please try and make some sense? Did you not get any sleep last night? It’s like your brain is dragging this morning.”

  He scratches the side of his head, and then blinks quickly. “No… I just—”

  “No what, Tyler?”

  “No. I don’t think I got any sleep. I woke up in a rush thinking I was late… and I wasn’t.” I look at him for a minute, giving him some time to get his thoughts together. He and Raven need to take a break so he can get some damn sleep. “Look, Lenny, you’re not hurting anyone. We’re here for you. Let me talk to Red.”

  “No,” I gasp, horrified at his suggestion. “I don’t want him involved.”

  He gives me that look, the one that says “don’t be ridiculous.” But there’s something else. Something that he’s either not telling me, or maybe it’s my imagination.

  The thing is, I know I’m being ridiculous. This whole situation is crazy. Especially the part where I thought I would get away from Ben Snider and not have repercussions.

  “I was an idiot to think Ben wouldn’t follow me.”

  “How do you think he found you?”

  Running my hand through my hair, I begin to pace the parts room. “Maybe he found out where the restraining order was issued or from the divorce filling… I’m not sure.”

  He sighs and steadies himself against the shelves. I notice then his hands are shaking. Maybe he’s had too much coffee lately. “Okay, well let’s think about it. Do you think he’ll come after you or is he all talk?”

  I try to think about it, the possibility if he’ll actually come after me and my answer is yes. Ben would. It’s in his nature to see it until… the end.

  “Yes. I don’t doubt for a minute that he will come after me. Ben sees my leaving as a slap in his face. There is no way he is going to let me go without a fight.”

  “Okay. Well then, after
work today, you and I are going to go to the sheriff’s office and report that Ben violated the restraining order.”

  “Do you think they will do anything? I mean it’s not like he broke the order or anything. He just called me.”

  Ben rolls his eyes and looks at me with a frustrated glare. “It’s a no contact order, Lenny. Yes, he broke it and yes, they will do something about it. Just promise that we will go and report it this afternoon.”

  “I promise.”

  “Good. Oh, and I don’t want you going anywhere outside of the garage or the house without someone with you. Until we know something about what’s going on with Ben, I don’t want you alone. Got that?”

  Warmth spreads in my chest and I can’t help but smile at him. This is what it feels like to be cared for. This is what it having a family is like. “Okay.”

  We both head back to the shop, which is busy and there is not time to screw around without falling behind.

  THE DAY HAS gone by so quickly and before I realize it, it’s already afternoon. I know I need to talk to Red and apologize for being late, but I haven’t had the time yet today.

  When I finally get a minute to grab a quick drink, I see Red for the first time today.

  To my left, I can hear Rawley and Daniel talking and then Rawley shoves Daniel. “Fuck off, Daniel. Get out of my face today!”

  Daniel stands there for a minute looking at Rawley but makes the decision to turn and walk away. Probably one of the few good decisions Daniel has made in his life.

  Well, it’s clear everyone is in a bad mood today. Maybe it has something to do with the thunderstorm heading our way; it’s got everyone all amped up. I do wonder what went down with Rawley and his harem, and I can honestly say I think a little differently about him knowing he’s so… well, as Raven would put it, slutty.

  I decide this time is as good as any to head over and apologize. I need to talk to Red before I chicken out and not say anything at all.

  Right when I get to the stall, the crowbar in his hand drops to the ground as it slips off and jams into the engine block.

  “Motherfucker!” he curses, jumping back and holding his hand for a brief moment.