10 Things Aliens Hate About You (Alienn, Arkansas Book 4)

by Fiona Roarke

  “Okay, then safe travels, may the forces of good be with you and don’t forget where you live.”

  “As if,” she said and hung up.

  Diesel decided Aunt Dixie being out of town during this fiasco with the prisoner escape was a blessing. She was well and truly a constant and/or looming disaster dancing with glee. With her out of town, half his daily stress went with her.

  He just hoped he didn’t get any calls from fellow law enforcement entities regarding her self-imposed quest along her trail north.

  <^> <^> <^>

  Wyatt readied himself to meet Daphne Charlene, Wheeler Grey’s plan fresh in his head. He hated the idea of talking to or possibly touching that woman in a friendly way, but shook off his distaste.

  He entered the faux hospital room, walked across the short space to the bed where she rested and leaned over her. To his right was a large mirror where Cam, Diesel and others watched through two-way glass.

  “Daphne Charlene,” he whispered.

  Her eyes opened and she stared up at him. A smile shaped her lips. “Wyatt.” She didn’t even look around the room, instead gazing deeply into his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see my best girl.”

  “Liar. What about Valene Grey?”

  “Didn’t work out. But if you aren’t interested in me anymore, I won’t bother you further.” Wyatt took half a step back, but Daphne Charlene had faster reflexes than he imagined. She grabbed hold of one forearm, pulling on him until he moved closer.

  “Of course I’m interested. I’ve been in love with you for months, waiting for you to lose interest in Valvoline Ethyl Grey.” It occurred to Wyatt that he’d been rather slow to notice women stalking him. First Valene, now Daphne Charlene. He really should start paying better attention to his surroundings when out and about.

  “Great. First, though, I need to clear something up.”

  Daphne Charlene frowned. “What?”

  “You told Valene that you and I were together in my kitchen late last night.”

  She grinned. “Oh, that.”

  “I don’t seem to remember it. I wish I could, though. What’s the story?”

  “Well, because I love you so much, but you haven’t noticed me, I’ve followed you everywhere, especially in the last month or so. Last night I happened to be hiding in the woods behind your house, waiting for you to get home.”

  Wyatt nodded. “So that’s why the dogs next door kept barking.”

  “Those stupid mongrels were so loud I could hardly hear myself think. But I saw you in your pajama pants when you came outside. I even saw your appendix scar when I blew up all the pictures I’d taken.”

  A shiver went down his spine. “Pictures?”

  “Oh, yes. I have lots of pictures of you, Wyatt. Only of you. No one else is worthy.” Wyatt felt the blood drain out of his face, but forced a smile and hoped she didn’t notice his pallor.

  “Well, isn’t that nice?” No need to rile the crazy stalker.

  Daphne Charlene squeezed his arm. Her adoring look made him a bit queasy, so he pressed forward. “She also said you told her a story.”

  Daphne Charlene frowned. “A story?”

  “About space aliens at the Big Bang Truck Stop.”

  “Oh, that!”

  “I don’t remember telling you anything like that last night nor do I remember meeting you in my kitchen.”

  “Oh, you didn’t. And we didn’t meet in your kitchen. I only told Valene that to make her jealous. It worked, too.”

  “Who told you that story about aliens and the Big Bang Truck Stop?”

  “Rowan told me.”

  “Rowan? Who’s that?”

  “He’s my new, very good friend.” Daphne Charlene suddenly sat bolt upright, grabbing Wyatt by both arms, her fingers digging into his flesh through his shirt. “But I don’t love him like I love you, Wyatt.”

  Wyatt cupped her elbows in his palms and gently eased her back to the raised bed. “Of course not. I know that.” He patted her arm awkwardly, as she still had a grip on him. She seemed to settle down after a few seconds and leaned back on the bed.

  Wyatt stayed where he was alongside her. “Where did you meet Rowan?”

  “He came to my place.”

  “Your home?”

  “No, silly. My Critter’s Café place.” Right, your roadkill restaurant on the hill.

  “He loved my award-winning chili recipe.”

  “Who wouldn’t?”

  “He ate three bowls.”

  “He must have been hungry,” Wyatt said. “Why did Rowan say there were space aliens at the truck stop?”

  “He was just making fun. He was convinced that if I told that to the owner, Diesel Grey, that it would be a great joke.” She laughed uproariously.

  “Funny,” Wyatt agreed and laughed as best he could with her. “How does Rowan know Diesel?”

  Her face screwed up into an unpleasant frown. “I’m not sure, but Diesel would have to know him to get the joke, wouldn’t he?” She paused as if thinking hard about that. “Well, they must be old friends or something.” She looked a bit unsure, then shook it off and gazed deeply into Wyatt’s eyes. “I want you to know that once I help Rowan get a new ID, because his was lost in an unfortunate house fire back home, that he’ll be on his way to a new town up north and you won’t have to worry about my affections for him. I know you must be a teeny bit jealous. Admit it.”

  “Maybe just a little.” Wyatt asked, managing a half smile, “Rowan is going north, huh? Does he have a job up there, wherever he’s going?”

  Daphne Charlene nodded. “Yep. He’s going to be a guard. That’s what he does right now. You know, he guards stuff. When he moves up north, he’ll be a guard doing more guarding of stuff.” She laughed again as the door opened behind him.

  Gage and Nova entered. Daphne Charlene grinned at them. “Who are you?”

  “I’m your nurse,” Nova said.

  “But I thought you were Diesel’s secretary.”

  “I prefer the term executive assistant, but I only do that in my spare time. Most of the time I’m a nurse.”

  “Gotcha.” To Gage, she said, “Does that mean you’re my doctor?”

  “Sort of. Actually, I’m more of a scientist, but one day I might be a doctor.”

  “But the really important question is…do you play a doctor on TV?” Daphne Charlene asked and fell back against the pillow, laughing wildly at her own joke.

  “The Defender works differently on some humans,” Gage told Wyatt, as if to explain Daphne Charlene’s odd behavior. “Cam sent a message to Axel to look into any guards with the name Rowan or similar on the gulag ship’s manifest, current and prior.”

  Daphne Charlene laughed again. “Gulag? What a funny word! It’s so hilarious.” She giggled harder.

  “This must be the laughing gas version of Daphne Charlene,” Nova mumbled. “I’m still not a fan.”

  “Behave, Nova.” Gage started to fiddle with some of the controls on the machine he was about to attach Daphne Charlene to.

  “Yeah, behave, Nova,” Daphne Charlene parroted. She laughed again.

  Wyatt backed away from the bed as Gage and Nova moved to stand on either side of the giddy woman. They each grabbed an arm. Daphne Charlene didn’t put up any protest. Her gaze was locked on Wyatt. He stared back to ensure she didn’t realize what they were doing.

  “Better leave the room, Wyatt,” Gage said, waving the Defender at his side. “Don’t want to accidentally have any Defender beams bouncing around in here hit you.”

  “Right.” Wyatt turned and exited the faux hospital room as Daphne Charlene started wailing. He was unmoved by her screams, the ones he heard even after he was out of the room. Just outside the door, Cam and Diesel stood in front of the two-way window, quietly conversing. They looked at him, but didn’t invite him over and continued chatting in low tones.

  After only a few seconds, Daphne Charlene stopped shrieking. Wyatt assumed she�
��d been quieted by a Defender blast. That was also his future unless he found Valene or at least got a chance to talk to her before they erased his memories. He’d have to convince her to marry him and then move two galaxies away.

  If by some miracle all that worked out, what in the world would he do on Alpha-Prime if he went there? What job could an earthling get? Would a law enforcement position of some sort be available? This and a thousand other questions swirled in his head.

  Another shout rose up inside the room. It sounded like Nova. Cam and Diesel raced into the room. Wyatt walked to the window to watch, but couldn’t quite figure out what was going on.

  Nova was pointing to a sleeping Daphne Charlene, talking fast and making all kinds of arm gestures. His sister Sally was like that, too. If someone tied her arms down, he didn’t think she’d be able to talk at all.

  Whatever the hubbub was, Cam and Diesel were talking and Nova was nodding.

  Nova soon exited Daphne Charlene’s room, followed by Cam and Diesel. She took off her white nurse’s jacket and placed it on a coatrack just outside the door.

  Wyatt knew better than to ask what had just gone on, so instead he asked, “Want me to go get Valene, now? I don’t mind.”

  Nova looked at Cam and Diesel. They both frowned, then continued talking in front of the two-way window again. Everyone looked like something dire had happened.

  She shook her head. “Best not. Don’t worry. I’ll get Valene from her home and bring her right back. She’ll be glad to know that you have been exonerated regarding the tattling about Alphas and our basement operation. I know she’ll be especially happy to learn for certain that you didn’t have a secret rendezvous with Daphne Charlene in your kitchen last night.”

  Wyatt’s eyes closed. He’d forgotten she didn’t know about that yet. Was she still hurt, thinking he’d cheated on her?

  “She didn’t truly believe it anyway,” Nova said. Her sheepish grin told him she might have just read his mind.

  “Still, I’d love for her to have proof positive.” Was that why she’d been flirting with that guy earlier? And if she did forgive him and wasn’t flirting with someone else, what did that mean?

  If only that guaranteed him a life with her.

  After Nova left, Diesel and Cam motioned for Wyatt to join them. Through the glass, he saw a sleeping Daphne Charlene being loaded onto a gurney.

  “Thanks for the help, Wyatt.” Diesel started to say something else, but his phone rang. He looked at the number, sighed deeply and excused himself to take the call in his office.

  “What happens to her now?” Wyatt asked Cam, even though he probably should keep a low profile, stay quiet and hope they didn’t blast his memories away when he least expected it.

  “She’ll be transported to her home and placed on her sofa. She’ll be awake in an hour or so. We’ll have someone keep an eye on her for a couple days to make sure she’s okay.”

  Wyatt nodded. He didn’t like the woman, but he didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. “What will happen once Valene gets here?”

  “We’ll all have to sit down and have a discussion,” Cam said. “Nova saw something in Daphne Charlene’s mind right before her memories were erased.”

  “I’m afraid to ask,” Wyatt said. “Did she see the guard, Rowan, or whatever his name is? Did she know who it was?”

  “Possibly. But Nova saw the flash of a face in her head and thought it might be Indigo Smith. That’s why she shouted. Now, she’s not so certain. And if it is him, he’s in disguise.”

  “Disguise?”

  “Yeah. Indigo Smith has dark hair and big blue eyes. Supposedly, that’s why he’s able to get away with so much. Nova said the face that flashed through Daphne Charlene’s mind looked like him, but had white-blond hair and a piercing green gaze.”

  Wyatt perked up. “I’ve seen that guy. Or at least a guy with that description.”

  Cam stilled. “Where?”

  “When we first got back, Gage was watching the surveillance video of the truck stop convenience store. The blond guy was the flirty customer talking Valene up in the Maxwell the Martian aisle when we got back with the hairy alien.”

  “Where was I?” Cam asked.

  Wyatt shrugged. “Taking care of the hairy alien, I guess. I don’t know.” Cam walked over to a computer terminal in Gage’s lab. He searched several surveillance camera feeds until he found the footage Wyatt had seen earlier with Gage. Valene had apparently been talking with the guy for over twenty minutes before they returned. Daphne Charlene could be seen in the background pacing in front of the cash register with a foul expression on her face as she watched Valene chat with Mr. Flirty.

  “When Nova gets back with Valene, we’ll have to see if this is the dude she saw.”

  Wyatt wasn’t certain he wanted to traipse around looking for the guy Valene had been flirting with, but remained silent.

  “What if that face was only in Daphne Charlene’s mind because that’s who Valene was talking to right before she got zapped by the Defender?”

  Cam pondered that for a moment. “I guess it’s possible.”

  He searched through more surveillance feeds, but didn’t seem to find what he was looking for, if his sour attitude was any indication.

  Nova came running into the lab. “Valene’s gone!”

  “What do you mean she’s gone? Where is she?”

  “I don’t know and I mean she’s not at home, or at your parents’ home or anywhere in Alienn that I could find on my way back.”

  “Did you call her cell?” Cam asked, reaching for his phone.

  Nova held up her hand to show her cell phone clutched in one palm. “Yes. Of course, she isn’t picking up. I called so many times to leave, ‘Call me back’ messages that her voice mail is already full.”

  In Nova’s other hand was a piece of paper. She held it up. “Plus, I found this note taped on Valene’s front door.”

  “Way to bury the lead, Nova.”

  “Don’t mess with me, I’m worried sick about her.”

  Wyatt was also horribly worried about Valene.

  Cam took the note from Nova and read out loud, “Hey, Fearless Leader. I’m fairly certain that I have something you want. Just like you have something that I want. Let’s meet tonight at midnight at the lovers’ lane and make the exchange or else your little sister will remain with me permanently and the two of us will enjoy this fine new planet together, tucked away where I promise you will never find us. I.S.”

  “What does he want?” Wyatt asked, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. If he knew where to go and rescue her, Wyatt would already be running in that direction, alien purple goo splatter gun at the ready to take down Indigo Smith.

  “I wish I knew.”

  Nova pushed out a long sigh. “I’ll bet Daphne Charlene knew before we zapped her memories into oblivion.”

  Chapter Eleven

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  Valene blinked sedately as she rode in the passenger seat of her sports car, watching the scenery go by. She felt really good. Peaceful. Serene. And a bit whimsical, truth be told. Had she ever felt this way before? Maybe, but she couldn’t remember any specifics. Her memories faded like the remnants of a powerful dream upon waking. At first, the images are so clear and rational. But as reality sets in, the truth of riding a giant tiger with a saddle on his back to work like everyone does it every day becomes a silly notion. Even so, she enjoyed the serenity and watching the trees go by outside the window.

  Was she dreaming right now? She wasn’t sure. Maybe.

  She looked at the handsome man driving the car. Where were they going again? She tried to muster the energy to ask. After clearing her suddenly very dry throat and opening her mouth to speak, Valene couldn’t recall what she’d been about to say. Hmm.

  The man smiled, raised his eyebrows as if waiting for her to say something, but she was lost for words. How embarrassing. Better not to speak until she knew what she wanted to say, right?


  Valene smiled at him, shook her head and put her focus back out her side window and the rustic scenery along the road, settling comfortably into her seat. She closed her eyes and tried to remember her question, but the details evaded her until she decided a nap was a good idea. She let go and started to fall into a light slumber.

  Maybe she’d try and remember whatever it was later. Or maybe not. Either way, sleep was so much more important.

  <^> <^> <^>

  Earlier, after watching only a few seconds of the surveillance video of Valene with the handsome stranger, Wyatt had wanted to sneak out the secret alien side door, run around to the convenience store’s front entrance and get between Valene and Mr. Suave and Flirty. But Gage wouldn’t let him. A dangerous alien criminal had been right there, and he’d gotten away without anyone there to stop him. And now Valene was missing.

  Diesel’s shoulders slumped after he read Indigo Smith’s note. Then he pulled himself together and ordered everyone to the conference room. Diesel, Gage, Nova, Wyatt, and Cam all trooped inside. Wheeler, Jack and Axel arrived moments later, apparently summoned when Wyatt wasn’t paying attention. Must be a secure area so that no humans—not invited in like he was—could overhear any alien plots.

  As soon as they were seated around the table, everyone started talking at once.

  Jack said, “We need to get out there and start looking until she’s found, yeah?”

  “Yeah!” Wheeler nodded and poked Axel, who nodded and added his own, “Yeah!” to the cacophony in the room.

  Diesel put two fingers to his lips and whistled loud enough to settle them down. “One at a time. Nova, what did you see?”

  Gage held up the screenshot of the guy who’d been chatting with Valene in the convenience store with the light hair. Nova pointed at it. “That’s the guy I saw in Daphne Charlene’s head right before we zapped her memories away.”

  “Is that Indigo Smith?” Axel asked.

  Diesel nodded. “His hair and eye color have been drastically changed, but yes, it’s him. I don’t understand why Valene wouldn’t recognize him.”

  “Maybe he’s charming,” Nova offered. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t fall for a known criminal, but he’s not hard to look at.”