10 Things Aliens Hate About You (Alienn, Arkansas Book 4)

by Fiona Roarke

  An indistinct thud from the direction of the car startled most of the assembled folks. Who was in the trunk of the car? A light bulb went off in Wyatt’s head.

  “Are you still mad at me, Valene?” Wyatt asked in an elevated tone. Everyone looked at him.

  Her brows narrowed. “Why would I be?”

  Wyatt shrugged. “You just don’t seem like yourself, that’s all. Daphne Charlene lied to you if she insisted we were together in my kitchen. It’s not true.”

  Daphne Charlene’s eyes widened. She looked ready to crack, but she held it together.

  Valene’s unbending stance went even more rigid. “I’ve had a difficult time recently, as if you couldn’t tell.” Her gaze left his and landed on Daphne Charlene before she fixed her gaze back on Wyatt.

  Wyatt nodded. “True. Still, I need to tell you something. I’m willing to move to Alpha-Prime.” He heard another thump from what sounded like the trunk of the car.

  Valene tilted her head to one side. He’d never seen her do that before. “Won’t you miss your family?”

  “Does a bear poop in the woods?”

  Valene frowned. “What? Why is that relevant?”

  Wyatt flipped his alien purple goo splatter gun up and shot Valene in the collarbone. Purple goo splattered down her chest and up her throat and chin, with a few healthy-sized spots landing on her cheeks.

  She dropped to the ground, a stunned expression frozen in place. Diesel grabbed his rifle barrel, pointed it to the night sky and put a meaty hand around Wyatt’s arm. He gave Wyatt a withering look that said vengeance would be his next reality.

  Before anyone could retaliate, Valene’s body began to writhe and change. Everyone stared as Valene morphed into…someone else. Daphne Charlene jumped away, but Bubba Thorne grabbed her and kept her from escaping. “He made me do it!” she screamed. “He made me help him. Now I get to have Wyatt.” Her arms reached for Wyatt, but he backed up a step. Diesel released him as he watched fake Valene. Wyatt’s gaze moved to the trunk of the car. Another thump came along with a muffled feminine screech of unhappiness. Wyatt’s feet were moving toward the car before his brain caught up. No one stopped him.

  On the ground, Valene was no longer Valene, but a subdued Indigo Smith dressed as Valene.

  “How did you know?” Diesel asked behind him. Wyatt didn’t have time to answer. He slung the rifle over his shoulder and reached inside the open passenger door to retrieve the key fob. He popped the trunk lock as he ran around to find the real Valene trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

  Wyatt whipped out his pocketknife and cut the rope at her ankles and wrists, carefully pulling the tight handkerchief from between her lips. “There you are.” He helped her out of the trunk, hugging her tight the moment she was on her feet.

  “How did you know it was Indigo and not me?” she asked, her voice muffled against his chest.

  He drew back a little, but refused to let her get too far away. He grinned at her sweet face. She had that look again. The awe-inspired one. The one he loved without reason.

  “Lots of things. I noticed you weren’t wearing my ring.”

  Valene lifted her hand. “I still have it.”

  Wyatt smiled with gratitude. “Also, right up front he had a sneering frown that I’ve never seen on you before, even after being kidnapped and everything. But the true test was when I asked him, ‘Does a bear poop in the woods?’” Even as bedraggled as she looked and after all she’d been through, Valene giggled.

  “He didn’t giggle like you just did. He said, ‘What?’ and asked me why that was relevant. You always giggle.” Wyatt hugged her tight. Best of all, she hugged him back. “So I shot him in the collarbone. If he’d been wearing his own face, I would have shot him in the teeth, but…” Wyatt shrugged. “I just couldn’t shoot yours.”

  “That’s so sweet.”

  Wyatt suddenly remembered something he needed her to know. “I swear to you that I didn’t do anything with Daphne Charlene in my kitchen that night.”

  “I know. I’m sorry you saw me with Indigo Smith. He put a shackle sticker on me.”

  Before he could comment, Diesel appeared at their side like magic. They parted, but Wyatt kept an arm around her shoulder.

  “I thought you’d lost your mind for a minute there. Glad you figured it out when you did,” Diesel said to Wyatt with a sheepish look.

  “Trust me, it was my pleasure to land a purple goo pellet on Indigo.”

  Diesel pulled Valene away from Wyatt to give her a relieved brotherly hug. “I was worried about you.” He leaned back to look into her eyes. “I’ll bet you have quite a story to tell.”

  “You got that right,” she said. “Indigo Smith is an Alpha shapeshifter.”

  Looking at Wyatt, Diesel said, “Luckily, Wyatt here figured that out before we made a foolish mistake.”

  “What’s in that metal box that Indigo wanted?” Wyatt asked. “And where did you get it?”

  Diesel held out the box, which upon closer inspection Wyatt saw had a button slide opening. Inside was a complicated-looking device.

  “Wow. That’s colorful. What does it do?”

  “It is a remote control that opens up pre-programmed outer doors beneath certain cryo-doors on the prisoner ship. Axel found it when they did a thorough search on board the gulag ship earlier.”

  “The ingots,” Wyatt said.

  Diesel nodded. “Yep. As near as we can figure, he planned to jettison the five special pods that carried the ingots onto the ground and hide in the nearby forest as the ship took off for the gulag. Originally, his was the only pod that was set to open. The solar flares that opened all the rest of the pods ruined his carefully laid plans.”

  “Amazing.”

  Diesel shook his head. “It’s ingenious. He had a complex plan to escape, hang around in town until the ship left and jettison the five pods of gold ingots into the safety of the woods. That gold is pure, too, and way more valuable here on Earth than on Alpha-Prime.”

  “How did he plan to transport the ingots? Five cryo-pods full sounds heavy.”

  “We don’t know yet. We’ll have to interrogate him.”

  Valene perked up. “I think I know.”

  “What do you know?” Diesel asked.

  “Daphne Charlene gave him a key. It was an old rusty one, like an oversized skeleton key.”

  “What does it unlock?”

  “Get this. Daphne Charlene has a secret tunnel beneath Critter’s Café that leads out into the woods. She said the tunnel was built during Prohibition for customers to escape the old speakeasy in the basement if the police raided them.”

  “Interesting.”

  “I believe he planned to store the gold there until he could get a large enough vehicle to transport the ingots out of Arkansas. He was right. With his ability to change form, it would have been very difficult for even the Royal Magistrate Guard to track him down here on Earth.”

  “Amazing. I’ll bet you’re absolutely right. Let’s head back to the basement conference room for a full debrief. We’ll get Indigo back into his cryo-pod and take extra care to keep him subdued before the gulag ship takes off tomorrow morning.”

  “Great idea.” Valene looked at the convict stretching out one of her favorite outfits. “Also, burn those clothes he’s got on. Since I already saw him morph into someone else, complete with clothes, the only reason he wanted mine was to have some fun with me.” She looked down at what she was wearing. Instead of one of Daphne Charlene’s outfits, Indigo had insisted she wear his.

  “I want to get back to the truck stop and change out of these prisoner clothes, okay?”

  “No problem. But for the record, you look great in anything you wear.”

  “Spoken like a true fiancé,” Diesel said with a smile. Wyatt’s heart lifted. He hoped Diesel’s words meant he wasn’t bound for a permanent memory erasure. Maybe he could be trusted to keep their secret, and his relationship with Valene. He’d discuss it with Diesel once they
got back to the truck stop.

  Valene put her hand in his and they linked fingers as they walked toward the assembled group surrounding a purple-splattered, very subdued Indigo. Wyatt’s heart flipped over the simple gesture of holding hands with his girl. He never wanted to be without her ever again. He planned to propose for a third time as soon as possible.

  Daphne Charlene, still held in check by Bubba, gave them a scornful look as they passed by. Valene stopped and turned into him, kissing his mouth like they were alone in his bedroom.

  Beside them, Daphne Charlene made an evil hissing noise and elbowed Bubba hard enough to make him grunt. Valene pulled away and stared into Wyatt’s eyes with what looked like equal parts wonder and regret, but didn’t acknowledge Bubba or Daphne Charlene’s subsequent struggle in the wake of the wondrous kiss.

  Wyatt only had eyes for Valene. Bubba could fend for himself. And if he had to leave Earth, Wyatt couldn’t wait to tell her about his decision to move to her planet so they could spend the rest of their lives together.

  Chapter Sixteen

  <^> <^> <^>

  Valene changed clothes and took a quick refreshing shower in one of the basement guest rooms set aside for traveling dignitaries or VIPs who didn’t want to remain aboard whatever ship brought them to Earth.

  Her limited clothing options from the lost and found box included a lime-green Maxwell the Martian T-Shirt two sizes too big and black sweatpants one size too small. She looked like she was headed to a galactic yoga class. There were worse looks—for example, dirty, ripped men’s prison clothing from an escaped criminal mastermind aided by her worst nemesis.

  She towel-dried her hair then finger combed and fluffed her bangs as best as she could before putting the whole damp mess into a ponytail. She shook her head, decided it was at least a step up, and exited the bathroom into the main room of the VIP quarters.

  Wyatt insisted on waiting for her before they both headed to the conference room for what Diesel called the we are lucky this turned out so well debrief. He stood up the moment she entered the room, took one look at her outfit and a wide grin shaped his luscious mouth.

  “Don’t even say it.”

  “What?”

  “This outfit is atrocious.”

  “It’s not that bad. I really like the tight black sweatpants.”

  “You would.”

  Valene studied Wyatt, grateful he hadn’t run screaming the first time they brought him into the basement area. She loved him so much and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but simply couldn’t take him from his family. Her decision was made. Final answer.

  Seeing Daphne Charlene’s parents drugged while watching television like they had no life left in them made her think that’s what Wyatt’s parents would look like if she took him from them forever. She couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t make others miserable for her own happiness.

  Valene planned to discuss her decision with Gage before the meeting so he could prepare the memory wipe. This debrief meeting would be her last time together with Wyatt. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she sped her pace. “We’d better get going, we don’t want to be late.”

  “After the meeting, we’re going to have a serious discussion about our future, okay?”

  Valene nodded. “Yes. We definitely are.” Unfortunately, you’ll have to forget all about me. But I’ll never forget you.

  Hand in hand, fingers twined, they made their way to the conference room. She pointed to two chairs at the end of the table and told Wyatt to snag them while she talked to Gage. He kissed her cheek and did what she asked.

  Sidling up next to her brother, she said in a near whisper, “Gage, I need you to set up a memory wipe for Wyatt. I need it to go back a year. Before we met.”

  “What?”

  The shock in his tone surprised her, but Valene was resolute. “You heard me.”

  “I thought he wanted to marry you.”

  “He does, but I can’t let his family suffer. I just can’t. I can’t be happy at his family’s expense.” Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Please.”

  “Have you talked to Wyatt about it?”

  “No.”

  “You should.”

  “I can’t. I don’t want him to talk me out of it.”

  “You should still discuss it with him, Valene. He obviously loves you.”

  “And I love him, but it doesn’t matter. This is the way it has to be. Please, Gage.”

  Gage looked unhappy, but after a few seconds he nodded. “I’ll have to get Cam to help me, but I’ll get it set up.”

  “Thank you.” Valene breathed a sigh of relief, vowing to let her emotional girly-girl side have a good cry later. For now, she’d spend her last few minutes with Wyatt, soak up his warmth and then say her final good-bye.

  <^> <^> <^>

  Skeeter Bite, Arkansas Sheriff’s Office, two weeks later

  Diesel pulled his SUV into a wide space in the parking lot behind the sheriff’s office and killed the engine. It wasn’t that he cared if anyone saw them here, but he didn’t want to call attention to them in case things didn’t go according to plan.

  “Do you think Wyatt is okay?” he asked his brother.

  Cam shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s what we’re here to discover, right?” He reached for his door to get out.

  “Yep,” Diesel replied, but remained seated. “I heard his family put him in the hospital for several days after Hunter Valero found him unconscious at his home.”

  “They only did it as a precaution because he had such a terrible headache. Hunter told me he got out of there as soon as he could.”

  “Still, his pain was because of our procedure.” The news of Wyatt’s painful memory erasure upset Diesel. Valene was nearly inconsolable when she heard.

  “I know. It’s unusual. No one has ever exhibited that symptom before. Gage is looking into it.”

  “What’s he doing?”

  Cam shook his head. “Pfft. I have no idea. Science-y Gage stuff like usual. You know how he is.”

  Diesel knew Gage was almost more upset by the side effects than Valene had been. “He just didn’t expect Wyatt to have such a hangover after the memory wipe.

  Someone passed in front of their vehicle, swiped an access card at the back door and entered the rear entrance of the Skeeter Bite Sheriff’s Office. Diesel and Cam would have to go around to the front.

  “We should get inside and check Wyatt before too many more people show up.”

  Diesel opened his door. “Let’s hope he’s blissfully ignorant of what we did to him. Plus, I’d hate to see him like Valene.”

  “That’s the truth. She is one miserable chickadee since Wyatt lost his memory about us.”

  Diesel cracked a smile. “She hates it when you call her a chickadee.”

  Cam grinned. “I know. That’s why I do it. Come on, let’s get this over with.”

  They exited Diesel’s vehicle into a warm and very humid day and quickly made their way to the front door, stepping into air-conditioned bliss inside the station. The receptionist recognized them and waved them back to Wyatt’s office at the rear of the building.

  “Hey, Diesel.” He stood and extended his arm to shake hands. “Cam,” he added and shook his hand as well. “What brings you boys to Skeeter Bite?”

  Diesel and Cam sat in the chairs stationed in front of Wyatt’s desk. “We heard you’d come back to work today and wanted to check up on you. Heard you spent some time in hospital after some sort of head injury.”

  “That’s nice of you. I appreciate it.”

  Cam leaned forward and looked carefully into Wyatt’s face. “So, how are you? What do you remember about your…accident?”

  Wyatt’s smile dimmed. “I don’t remember what happened that knocked me unconscious in my own yard, but Hunter suspects I got hit by a loose limb that fell on my head. He was the one who found me, along with one of my sisters.”

  “That’s pretty scary,” Diesel said, also stud
ying Wyatt. He seemed okay.

  “Well, I feel bad because technically it was scary for everyone except me. I don’t remember a thing.”

  Cam seemed to relax back in his chair. “Maybe that’s for the best.”

  “Only one drawback that I can see so far.”

  “What’s that?” Diesel asked, also easing back in his chair.

  “It seems that my lost memory has prompted pretty much everyone I meet to let me know I owe them money. Turns out I’m in debt somewhere in the neighborhood of three years’ worth of salary. Makes me wonder what I was spending all that borrowed money on.”

  Diesel and Cam both laughed.

  “Oh, yeah, lots of knee-slapping fun on that score.”

  “I’ll bet,” Diesel said.

  “Good news, Wyatt,” Cam said. “We truly only came to check on you, not turn you upside down and shake any coins loose to collect on imaginary debts.”

  “That is good news.”

  “Beyond all that money you owe, do you remember anything useful?”

  “The last thing I remember was going into a restaurant for lunch almost a year ago. Then, poof, nothing. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve recalled a few images where I’m hunting in nearby woods, but I used to do that almost every weekend and have since I was a little kid here in Skeeter Bite. I might just be remembering trips from before a year ago.” He shrugged, seemingly unconcerned about losing his memory. That was sort of a relief.

  “My folks and especially my four sisters have caught me up on a year’s worth of gossip regarding everyone in a three-county area. That’s super fun.” He paused, then added, “No, not really. I’m lying.” He grinned and shook his head.

  “What do your doctors say about the memory loss?”

  Wyatt shrugged. “They don’t know. Every doctor I talk to has a different theory. I figure I’m healthy enough for my purposes. The headache’s gone and whether I remember the past year or not, I expect life will carry on like it did before.”